Title: My Immortal chapter 1
Authors: Donna
Rated: M- violence, sex, drama, angst.
Pairing: Elrohir/Eowyn
Disclaimer:I do not own any of them. No money is being made.
Summary: Elrohir meets the beautiful Eowyn at his sister's wedding. Will she be the deciding factor in wether or not he leaves with his father to Valinor or will he love her enough to die for her? (songfic for My Immortal by evanescence)
"I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
When you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
When you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
me, me...
My Immortal- by Evanescence
Elrohir sat upon the large rock and looked out over the water. He thought about the first time he had seen her. It had been at Arwen and Aragorn's wedding. She had been like a golden light, shining down upon him, after so much darkness and shadow.
Her laugh seemed to ring throughout the courtyard as she danced merrily about with several Men from Rohan and Gondor. He had enquired about her to one of the passing servants and had learned her name was Eowyn and that she was the sister of the new King of Rohan.
Eowyn.
He had thought it was such a beautiful name and it fit her well. He also learned that she had lost many loved ones including her beloved Uncle and several acquaintances she had known at Helm's Deep. He had been surprised to learn she had even been in battle, the one who had taken down the Witchking of Angmar. It was a tale he had found hard to believe at first but after getting to know her fiery spirit and powerful personality, he could no longer question her ability.
He knew he should have left her alone. He should not have tried talking to her, but he had been drawn to her gaiety, her ability to find happiness even after such hardship.
What had he accomplished? A life that he could reflect upon, one filled with love but also loss. Knowing he had caused so much grief, so much angst to those he had loved.
He sighed and brushed a piece of his hair behind his pointed ear. It was silent times like these that he remembered her.
"Would the Lady do me the honor of dancing with me?" Elrohir had asked Eowyn. She had smiled, delighted by his attention as she had admired the graceful Elves from afar but had not spoken to any except Legolas.
"I would be honored," she replied and allowed him to lead her to the dance area. The music began again, a loud happy tune. Elrohir placed his hand on her lower back and moved her about the dance floor as if they were both dancing on air.
He could not help but notice her beautiful eyes as she looked up at him, a smile playing across her fair face and a slight blush to her skin. "You are kin to the new Queen are you not?"
"Aye, Arwen is my sister," he replied.
Eowyn looked puzzled as if she wanted to ask him another question. Her curiosity getting the better of her she gave in. "Are not all Elves Immortal? I have heard that the Queen has forsaken her own."
Elrohir frowned. Immortality. To some Elves it was nothing but a way of life. To Arwen it had been nothing but sadness. Her choice to remain behind with Aragorn when their Ada sailed West to the Undying Lands had been a hard choice to make. It was also one he must also consider for the day would come when the choice was put before him.
"I am sorry if I asked too much," she said softly, noticing the sadness that had flickered in his eyes.
"Nay you did not. Elves are Immortals, but the Half Elven are given the choice. Arwen will remain here in Arda and she will die."
They were silent for the rest of their dance and Elrohir kissed her hand gently when it ended, excusing himself. He needed to go find his Twin, for it was moments like this that he most relied on him. He was lucky he guessed, for no matter what happened, he and Elladan would always have each other.
He found him standing by the gate looking out over the city, lost in his own thoughts. "Your mind is also heavy this night?" he said softly as he stood beside him.
Elladan did not turn to look at him but laid his head on his shoulder. "She has made her choice and we now have to accept it."
"Aye, I know we must, however it will be hard to watch Ada as he mourns the loss."
They were quiet for a moment as both reflected on their family relations. They had lost their mother many years ago, although they would be once again reunited with her when they sailed to the Undying Lands. How would their mother take it when she learned that her only daughter chose a mortal life? Elrohir felt a tear threaten to fall as he thought about his mother and Elladan reached up to wipe it away.
He always knew when he was sad. It was their connection that kept them together. The day would come when they too must make their choice. Would they leave Arwen and go with their father to the Undying Lands? Or would they stay and watch their sister die of a broken heart once Aragorn was lost to his mortality?
"What are you thinking?" Elladan whispered. He knew his Twin was sad, he could feel it in his heart.
"I was just thinking about Mother, and how much I miss her. She will cry when she learns that Arwen is lost to her. It will break Ada's heart to see her cry."
"We will be there for them both. Our presence will comfort them that not all their children will be lost," Elladan said.
Elrohir nodded his agreement. Thankful again that he would always have Elladan.
Or would he?
He picked up a rock and threw it into the water, watching the ripples it created on the surface. They were kind of like his life. Everything had been perfect and calm at one time only to have it disturbed when he had been least expecting it.
Eowyn.
He had loved her.
The night had seemed to go on forever. The music, the dancing, the merriment of it all. Life was good once again for the people of Gondor. Elladan turned over in his sleep and Elrohir heard the steady breathing of his brother. How he could find rest with all of the noise was beyond his understanding. He had not been able to find peaceful slumber, although he was not so sure it was the noise that had held it from coming. His mind seemed to drift off to her. Eowyn. He wondered what it was that she was doing at that moment?
1. Was she lying somewhere in her room, trying to find rest while her mind raced with all sorts of thoughts? Or was she still dancing the night away with some Rohirrim man who had dreams of sweeping her off of her feet and spending his life with her?
He grimaced at the thought, although he had not wanted to admit it to himself. Why did he care so much? Soon he would leave these shores with his father and his twin, and Eowyn would be nothing but a memory for him. Sure, it would take time to forget her face, to forget the sound of her laughter, and the twinkle in her eye. But his years would be long, and in time, she would fade.
He sighed and turned over, facing his brother who was still in slumber. He saw Elladan's eyes half closed as was the way of the half elven. His brother was a mirror image of himself. At times they even thought so much alike, that it astounded them. He reached out and touched Elladan's cheek, feeling the softness of the smooth porcelain skin. Could he ever imagine a life without his twin?
The very thought frightened him. He and Elladan would never be separated. Nothing was that powerful for their bonds were unbreakable. Or were they?
The sun shone bright the next morning as the gulls flew high above the water, looking for their next meal. The wind whipped her hair around her face as she breathed deeply the fresh sea air. Life was peaceful again. No more battles, no more blood shed. Peace. It was what everyone wanted, hoped for, and fought for.
She closed her eyes and listened to the waves breaking on the shore and shivered as the chilly drops splashed up at her. Soon she would have to return to Edoras with her brother and begin to settle in and restore order of their kingdom. It was hard to think of Eomer as king, her uncle's footsteps would be hard to fill. She knew he could do it, but all the same, she knew he did not wish to. It was duty. Her long weeks of healing in Gondor had left her with many hours in which to think. How could she simply return to her old life as if nothing had happened?
She actually found herself envying the elves. They would soon depart to the West, onto a new life, a new adventure. Her thoughts drifted to Queen Arwen. She had given it all up for love. Aragorn. He had for a time, sent her nerves in motion. It was now easy to see, that she had never really loved him, she had only loved the idea of him. The freedom to come and go as he pleased, to fight in battle, to lead the people to victory. The very thrill of Aragorn had excited her. Still, if she had loved him and he had returned the feelings, would she give up eternity to be with him?
It was a hard decision to make and for once she was glad she was not an elf faced with such questions.
"A jewel for your thoughts?"
Eowyn turned around swiftly, startled by another's voice although it was smooth and familiar. She found herself once again face to face with one of the Queen's brothers. Twins they were, and she could not tell one from the other. She had danced with one last night but knew not which one he was. He had never given her his name.
"Do you always sneak up on unsuspecting maidens?" she teased.
Elrohir smiled and reached up to brush away the hair that had covered his face. "You looked so lost in thought, I could not help but wonder what, or who it was you were thinking of."
Eowyn sighed and looked back out over the water. "Everyone, and yet no one in particular," she said. "Just thinking in general." They were both silent for awhile as they looked out over the sea. Elrohir found himself taking glances at her, but her eyes never drifted from the water before her. Finally when he could take the silence no longer, he spoke. "You will be leaving soon to return to Edoras?" He had heard the men from Rohan speaking earlier of their return trip. Even now they were gathering their supplies and making their plans. Soon he knew she would be gone. Could he just let her leave without letting her know how she had affected him?
Eowyn did not turn to look at him but said softly, "I will leave in the morning with my brother and the others."
He nodded and was about to turn when she spoke yet again. "What about you? Will you be leaving as well? Not only Gondor, but Arda?"
"That choice is not yet made," he said sadly as he turned and hurried back the way he had come. Why had she asked him that? Would his choice had made a difference in her life?
Eowyn watched his retreating figure. How she longed to call out to him, to have him come back to her. She had once thought that it had been love at first sight with Aragorn, but it had not felt like this. No, he had not made her heart race with just being near, not like this dark headed elf did. She longed to tell him so, but knew her silence was best. He had to leave with his family.
At the time he had not known of her feelings. Had not known how his choice would have so greatly affected her own life and her own happiness. If he had known, would he have still made the same decision? Would their lives had been different, would the love, the heartache, the choice have been worth it?
He threw another stone out across the water. That had been so long ago, yet it was so vivid in his imagination as if it had happened only yesterday. He thought of a song he had heard Lindir sing one time in Imladris. It had been about how you could always change tomorrow, but you could never change the past. At the time it had seemed like such a simple song, he had not truly understood it's meaning until recently.
A song could mean so many things. It could reveal so many emotions in a melody, a word, a sentence. Maybe that was why he had held onto her memory. Like a song, it was something that you would never forget, for sooner or later you would hear it or see it again in your mind.
A memory.
It could be good or bad. Hidden from thoughts or kept safe until needed again for assurance. He kept her memory locked in his heart, always there, always growing, always waiting until he needed it again. It was how he got through his days without her. He closed his eyes and listened.
He could hear her voice carrying itself on the wind that was blowing from the sea. Her melodious singing voice that would forever be held dear to his heart. How many times had he heard her singing? How many times had she done it and not even known he was listening?
Now, he would give anything to hear it once again. Have it be real. Have her in his arms once again.
"You are thinking about her once again are you not?" Elladan teased. He grabbed Elrohir's sword and began sharpening it for him. Elrohir would not meet his eyes and Elladan knew it was true. "She is not for you brother."
Elrohir frowned and turned to him. "Why would you say that?"
"I know what it is that you are feeling. She has captured your interest. She is a very beautiful maiden, but she is mortal. We will soon sail from this land. If you began something with her now, you would only regret it when it was time to leave her."
Elladan's words rang true in his heart as well as in his mind. "Do not worry for me, I will be ready to leave when you are." He grabbed his bag and left the room. For a moment he had feared Elladan would come after him. He did not feel like talking. Not even to his twin who knew everything about him. This was different. How could he tell his twin that he was in love with a mortal woman? Especially when he could not even explain it to himself.