So I let go, and give him everything I have left...

Written by: DropDeadRomantic

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, accepted cannon ideas, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The Original Character and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. I was mad at him. How could he not tell me? I was in love with a complete idiot. I had to find out from his counselor that he has cancer. And I hate it. I'm trying not to break out into tears in front of him, so I use anger to help stay in control.

"Everybody bites it sooner or later, I'm just in the AP class. Ahead of the game." And he uses jokes and sarcasm. God, couldn't he just give me a straight answer? Was it so hard to ask a question and get a decent response in return?

"All ways the joke." This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with this jerk. He kind of stalked me, and he annoyed the shit out of me, but I fell. Hard and Fast. Brooke warned me about him, but I didn't…. Couldn't listen.

"Al sais it's a phase, it'll stop soon. But hey, at least it wasn't about sympathy for the sick kid." His arm is draped over the back of the seat between us. His fingers so close to my shoulder.

"That's not fair." I jolt forward in my seat as he stomps on the break. The tires squeal and I catch myself on the dash. As he turns to me, his face is clear of everything but anger and resentment.

"Is Duke fair? Is Europe fair? At this rate I won't even make it to London, Ontario. Is that fair? Bowling." He chuckles bitterly. "That's what I get. Bowling." I look away and he starts driving again. We're quiet, no speaking, but I can hear his breathing. Its slow, and steady, like he wasn't sick at all.

"Were not going bowling." I say.

"Why?"

"Were saving that. Turn left." We're about a half hour away from the thrift store. I have time to say my goodbyes. I can't believe I'm going to do this. I have to let him go. I turn my head and watch him, taking in everything about him. His face, his strong jaw, his cute nose. And his eyes. I love those eyes, I'll miss those eyes. I can feel the tears start to slip down my face.

I don't bother wiping them, more will come. I turn in my seat and rest my head on the window, still watching him. I watch as he looks over at me, taking in my tears, my red cheeks, and my position against the window. I watch as he brings his hand from the back of the seat and rests it on my calf. I can feel his fingers rubbing circles on my skin. I close my eyes and feel his fingers working their way up my leg. There at my knee now, rubbing and pulling the knots out of my skin. He takes my hand and pulls me to him.

I scoot over the middle seat and collapse into him. His arm is around my shoulder, his forearm is resting on my clavicle, and his hand his holding my other shoulder. I'm facing forward, he has me, I feel safe. I lean my head on his shoulder, close my eyes and cry. It's all silent; I can still hear his breathing, soft, deep and steady. My hands grab onto his forearm and I turn my head as far as I can into his neck. My tears are dripping onto his skin and his shirt, but he doesn't say a thing. I sob quietly as I feel his fingers drawing unknown shapes into my skin, marking me forever.

I turn so that I am facing his side, his arm slides so that it's around my waist. His grip tightens on me and I move as close to him as I can, breathing in his intoxicating sent. "I love you." It was whispered, but I said it. He stops breathing for a few seconds before he sighs. He pulls off into a Wendy's parking lot. Cuts the engine, and molds himself into me.

His arms are tight around my back, his face is smashed into my shoulder. And he holds me. He holds me while I cry, he holds me while I blubber about how much I love him. And he holds me while I realize just how important he is to me. He holds me while I realize that nothing will ever be the same now that he's been in my life, now that he's imprinted his image in my mind and in my heart.

So I let go, and give him everything I have left