This story is AU from the "Experience is the Teacher". Basically think of it as an alternative ending if Mr. Zwick and Co. had the allotted 22 instead of 19 eps. Stupid ABC. Everything remains intact from "Experience is the Teacher".
Disclaimer: This fic is designed for non-profit use only. I own nafink. NAAAAFINK. It's all Mr. Zwick and Co. and the good people at ABC who used to and abused the show mercilessly. Good work ABC, you fickle sods
Feedback means the world to me, people. So please, read AND review
And finally, shout out to my awesome Beta Reader Karen who catches all the little things that I don't. Cheers, Karen.
Cathartic Moments
Chapter One
Only a few stray pieces of light pierced the blinds of the Manning Manor, but it was enough to rouse Lily Sammler from her slumber. Exhaling heavily, she pried her eyes open, and to her dismay her bedside clock displayed the time proudly to her heavy eyes. Six thirty. Wake up time.
At her back, she could feel the steady rise and fall of her husband's chest. His heavy arm was draped protectively over her, nestling Lily to Rick's side. A deep feeling of foreboding fell over her, as it became apparent that to leave the security of bed would mean facing the realities of the day. Judy and Sam, Rick's uncertainty about work… Grace. Her daughter who not 72 hours ago had sat in the Principal office and watched with undeniable agony as the teacher whom she was infatuated with dismissed for the term
It was the thought of her daughter that gave Lily the incentive to move. Groaning she pushed Rick's inert arm from her and despite his soft protest, rolled off the side of the bed. Stretching, Lily again chastised herself about her handling of Grace's incident. How had she not known? She had grossly misjudged her daughter, which troubled her greatly. She'd thought she knew Grace, but perhaps in Lily' haste to welcome Eli and Jessie into her family she had forgotten her eldest daughter who for so long, Lily had felt so connected to. But Grace now was so secretive, so unwilling to open up that Lily felt a profound sadness at the thought of their fractured relationship.
Quite suddenly her stomach contracted and a wave of nausea hit Lily hard, making her groan loudly. She staggered to the bathroom and shut the door.
Bad day, Lily thought, falling to her knees. "Bad, Bad day."
The incessant beeping woke Jessie up abruptly. Groaning, she reached over turned her alarm off. Rolling on her back, she stared up at the ceiling, a broad grin stretching on her face. 'Only an hour until I see Katie!' she thought, enjoying her giddiness. With enthusiasm she threw off her blanket and bounded over to her cupboard where she rifled through her clothes, wondering what to wear. 'As if Katie even cares about that stuff' she thought with an eye roll. It didn't matter to Jessie, however. She knew that nothing was more important than her looking perfect today.
"Where is everyone?" Zoe whined to her mother as Lily slumped in. "Do you know Miss. Jenell believes that you're 95 more likely to be efficient during the week if you're very awake on a Monday?"
"Well, good for Ms. Jenell." Lily said tiredly. 'Then my week's gone to hell.' "I don't know where everyone else is."
"One Rick Sammler, reporting for Coffee," Rick said grinning as he walked in. He pecked Lily on the cheek then squeezed Zoe on the shoulder as he hunted for a mug. "I hate Mondays."
"Eli! Jessie!" Lily hollered. "Come on, we're running late."
"Coming, coming!" Jessie voice floated down from the attic. A few minutes later, a very disgruntled Eli came. "Why did you have to wake me up?" he asked looking surly. "I don't have to be at work till ten."
"It's good to be up early, E" Rick smiled, as he made his coffee.
"You'll be 95 more efficient!" Zoe chirped.
Eli grunted. Secretly, he felt embarrassed sitting here so obviously useless amidst all these people who had so much important business to attend to. 'Unlike me' he thought self pityingly.
"Hey" Jessie breezed in wearing an attractive grey turtle neck and black pants. She sat next to Eli. "When are we heading to school, Dad?"
"Not until you troops are fed," Rick answered. He paused, "Jess are you wearing make-up?"
Jessie felt all eyes on her. "Only a little," she said defensively.
Rick felt his heart quicken. 'She's never worn make-up to school before' "Well, Jess, school is a place you learn; it's not a fashion parade."
"Oh please Dad, every girl wears stuff! And anyway, it's not as if I don't learn heaps at school anyway." Jessie challenged.
"Sure, sure," Rick backed down. He had noticed her daughter's demeanor shift over the last month, and he was delighted, mostly due to his concern over her reaction after Karen's accident. But it made him wonder who would make his normally shy daughter dress up for school. He planned to look into it. "We should go in a couple minutes. Where's Grace?"
"I'll, uh, call her," Lily interjected quickly
It was still dark in Grace's room. "Gracie?" Lily called, sticking her head in cautiously.
"I told you not to call me that." Grace replied dully.
"Right, of course." Lily hesitantly walked into Grace's room. She sat on the edge the bed that Grace was still lying in. "Honey, I, uh, know this must be awful, but I really feel you need to get up."
"I don't want to go to that school again." Lily blinked, deeply troubled by her daughter's blank tone. Lily expected her daughter to lash out at her, but this dull, monotone was more worrying than anger. "But you have to. I know it's hard, but the sooner you face this, the sooner it'll all go away!"
Grace snorted incredulously. "I wonder if she used that line for one of her callers" she thought spitefully. Her mother had no comprehension of what she was going through. She felt bile in her throat whenever she thought of Upton Sinclair, where everyone would be whispering about her, their eyes cruel and mocking as they reveled in exchanging gossip. Gossip. About her and Mr. Dimitri.
The thought of his name made her heart clench again. The whole weekend she had stayed in her room, mulling angrily over the events of the past weeks. "How dare him," she seethed. "How dare he say he used me? What we had, what we should have had was real. I felt it."
"Honey." Lily broke Grace's thoughts. "Honey, how about Rick drops Zoe and Jessie off, and you can have the car to yourself. Or, maybe I can drop you? Would you like that?"
"No!" Grace said forcefully, shoving her bed covers away and angrily not looking at her mother. "I'll get dressed in a second, and then I will drive both Zoe then Jessie to school. I need to get dressed now."
"Honey, if you want to,"
"Don't. Want. To .Talk about it." Grace ground out.
"Sweetie," Lily stopped as Grace finally turned around, her face an angry, tight mask. "I'll, um just make your breakfast."
Grace let out a frustrated sigh as her mother left the room. Covering her face with her hands, she moaned. "This is gonna be a bad, bad day"
Grace and Jessie traveled in silence. Grace had scarcely spoken two words throughout the whole car trip, barely even acknowledging Jessie's existence. Jessie shifted uncomfortably and inwardly cursed her inarticulateness. Whenever Jess went to say something her words died in her throat, knowing that anything she said would sound unbearably lame.
Staring at another rows of neatly cultivated bushes as they drove past Jessie attempted conversation. "So, Zoë's going into what, grade eight this year? With her vocabulary she'll be the smartest kid there."
"Mmm," Grace muttered. Jessie visibly wilted, but Grace didn't notice, or if she did, she chose to say nothing. "Mmm." Jessie said. The silence continued. It was excruciating.
Grace pulled into Upton Sinclair and quickly found a suitable place to park. Jessie shifted in her seat, but Grace still didn't acknowledge her. "So, uh see you later." Jessie said hesitantly.
"Yeah," Grace said drearily.
Jessie spotted a tall girl with a ridiculous red cap on. "Katie," she called. She turned to Grace as she got out of the car. "So, there's Katie. I should go to her. Bye."
Grace nodded, seemingly in a trance as she stared ahead motionlessly. Horribly uncomfortable, Jessie turned and practically barreled into a beaming Katie. "Wow," Katie grinned, wrapping her arms around Jessie. "You're perky for Monday."
"It was horrible," Jessie mumbled into Katie's shoulder. She lifted her head and moaned "the car ride here. Grace wouldn't say anything! It was scary."
"Yeah?" Katie let arms hands drop and cast a worried look towards Lily's car. "How's she holding up?"
"I don't know," Jessie admitted as they walked towards school. "She spent all weekend alone in her room. Lily tried to talk to her, but she seems pretty angry and stuff. I wouldn't go near Grace when she's angry, but Lily kept trying."
"Lily should get a medal," Katie quipped. Then she turned and grinned at Jessie. "I'm already planning to nap during first period. Ugh, Tsarist Russia. Why I'd take this stupid course?"
Jessie beamed at her. "Because you're silly."
Katie grinned and linked their arms together. "Damn straight. And don't you forget it."
Grace splashed cold water over her face. Sighing she looked back at herself in the bathroom mirror. Even to her eyes she looked pale and withdrawn. "I look heart broken" she thought. Then her eyes hardened. "I'm not letting that bitch Alexa see me like this."
First period had been manageable, but she had seen the smirks on everyone's faces, their hushed whispered and furtive glances, some pitying and some mocking. Grace squeezed her eyes closed and leant her head up against the glass. "Breathe," she whispered. She struggled to control herself as her entire body felt consumed with emotion. Tears prickled her eyes and she felt waves of humiliation wash through her body and before she could help it she sniffled. She felt desperately alone, more separated from her peers than she had ever been.
All Grace wanted to do was to lash out at Mr. Dimitri, make him feel every inch of pain and humiliation she was experiencing. Yet she also wanted to cocoon herself in his arms and listen to him warmly muse about the great poets and literary writers.
Grace angrily shook her head, confused and fought the urge to lock herself within a toilet cubicle. She knew however that if Alexa discovered she wasn't in her Creative Writing course even more rumours would spread. "Come on," Grace mumbled. With a determined nod she walked out of the bathroom.
By the time she had entered, only a few of her classmates had arrived. She spotted her usual desk at the front, but not before she saw Alexa and her gang of cronies titter and whisper to each other, throwing Grace knowing looks. Blinking away tears Grace strode to the desk and sat down. Sighing, she wondered who the new teacher will be. "Who ever they are they won't be as good as Mr. Dimitri." Grace guiltily glanced around the room where her classmates her filing in. It seemed someone had found that Mr. Dimitri was not returning and the whole school was alight with speculation. For now though, most kids in the Creative Writing class threw disdainful looks at her, obviously blaming her, if they bothered to look at her at all. Grace noticed that most of the class was here, yet no one had bothered to sit next to her. Hands shaking Grace chanted 'Its ok, its ok,' continuously until a man wandered into the room.
"Hey guys," the man nervously said. He was small in stature with a receding hair line, round face and kind eyes. He was dressed in a green sweater and loose flannel trousers. "I'm your substitute teacher for the term, Mr. Bellows. I'll keep to the notes your previous teacher had. I believe you are studying Grendell."
From a few seats behind her, Grace heard Alexa snort in a falsetto whisper "I wonder if Grace will have an affair with him too?"
As her friends titter, Grace felt a pang of anger. She ground her teeth and wondered how on earth she going to get through the day.
"Hello," Katie said to Mr. Bellows as she breezed into the room.
"And you are?" Mr. Bellows queried, slightly taken aback by this girl's sudden appearance.
"Katie," Katie chirped. She stopped next to Grace. "Hey Grace, can I sit here?"
Grace gaped at Katie as she felt all the eyes of the room stare at her. "Uh, sure."
"Thanks." Katie sat down. Loudly enough for the whole class to hear she said, "I actually like sitting at the front. It seems to be the place to be if you actually want to be educated."
From the corner of her eye, Grace saw Alexa's smirk vanish. "I guess so."
"Ms, uh," Mr. Bellows consulted his roll for Katie's last name.
"Singer."
"Well, Ms. Singer perhaps you can inform me why you are so late."
"Sorry, I got caught up with a sophomore."
Katie turned and winked at Grace. "Those sophomore's, huh? Can't live with 'em, although I definitely don't want to ever be without them."
Despite herself, Grace laughed. "Yeah," she said.
"What you doing, Eli?" Jake queried, walking into the back room of Booklovers. He sniffed the air suspiciously.
"Nothing," Eli innocently said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Isn't this your lunch break?" Jake asked, clearly confused.
"Yeah it is, but I thought I'd just chill here."
"Here?" Jake looked incredulously at Eli. "Why on earth would you spend your time here in this dingy little room?"
Eli shrugged. "Got nothing better to do."
"Ahhhhh," Jake nodded. "Boredom, I see. Well, I don't think there's any point to you hanging around here doing nothing. Why don't you browse the shelves?"
"I do the shelving all the time," Eli whined. "Plus, it's my lunch break."
"No no, actually look at the books that are displayed there."
Eli gaped at Jake "Uh, sorry Mr. Manning but me and books don't get along."
Jake smiled indulgently and patted Eli's shoulder. "Me neither at your age. But books are like any form of entertainment, the majority you're gonna hate with a fiery passion. But there are some you'll find that interest you and are fun. A lot more fun than just staying here all the time."
Eli shuffled uncomfortably. "So I'm allowed to actually read the books on the shelves?"
"Yeah during your lunch break that is." Jake smiled and turned and walked away. Before he left the room though, he paused and looked back at Eli. "Eli, I just want to let you know you're doing good here. Keep it up."
"Thanks." And with that, Jake was gone. Eli slouched against the wall and brooded. He had tried to make a conscious effort to improve his behavior here; however he couldn't help but think that Mr. Manning only pitied him. 'That's how I got this job, isn't it?' he thought bitterly. 'Because my Mom was in an accident and Judy felt sorry for me.' Eli swallowed hard and surveyed the dark room. 'I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself.' Eli thought miserably. Sighing, he shuffled towards the door to go eat some lunch.
"I love lunch, its so the best meal of the day!" Enthused Katie as she sat down with Jessie at their lunch table.
"Isn't it breakfast?" Jessie asked, amused.
Katie waved her hand impatiently. "Nah, that's the most important meal. Lunch is definitely the tastiest though." She peered at Jessie's untouched plate. "You're not hungry?" Her tone was clearly worried.
"Yes I am!" Jessie automatically replied. When she saw Katie skeptical look she sighed. "No I'm not hungry. I'm worried about Grace."
"Ah, yeah," Katie grimaced. "You should hear what all the girls are saying in my year. Stacey Conway is adamant that Grace is pregnant with Mr. Dimitri's baby."
"What," Jessie cried, outraged. She shook her head 'poor Grace.'
"Speaking of," Katie pointed to someone behind Jessie. Jessie turned and saw her Step Sister tentatively enter the Cafeteria. "Grace," Jessie called loudly. She felt guilty when she saw Grace flinch with fright. "Grace, over here."
Grace saw them, and headed over to their table. "Hey," she said, attempting to sound normal.
Katie gestured to the empty chairs. "Why don't you take a seat?"
Grace shrugged. "I thought you two would want to be alone," she said with a tinge of bitterness.
"Why would we want to be alone?" Jessie snapped loudly. She flushed when she saw Katie and Grace stare at her. "Sorry," Jessie whispered.
Grace sighed. "I'm going grab something to eat," she said. "I'll be back in a second."
"You can have my food," Jessie said earnestly.
Grace turned and regarded Jessie. "No, you should eat it. I'll be back in a sec."
"I'm an idiot," Jessie grumbled to Katie. Katie raised her eyebrows. "Don't look at me like that, I am. " Jessie cried. "Every time I go to talk to her, I don't know what to say and when I do say something it's always stupid."
"You're not responsible for her." Katie pointed out.
"I know, but I want to help her," Jessie said with feeling.
Katie eyes softened. She reached across the table and slipped Jessie's hand under her own. "I know you do," she said gently squeezing.
Both girls smiled, gazing into each others eyes and enjoying the contact. Across the room someone laughed loudly at some joke and both girls jerked their hand away, self-conscious. "I meant to tell you earlier, but you are looking particularly good today, Billie. Is that eye shadow you have on?"
Jessie smiled, pleased. "Yeah, you noticed!"
Katie grinned. "It looks great but since when do you wear make-up?"
"I don't know," Jessie lightly teased. She lowered her voice. "Maybe I just wanted to look good for you."
Katie threw back her head and laughed. "Aw Billie!" she leaned forward and lowered her voice also. "You always look good to me."
Jessie beamed at her, and then ducked her head, embarrassed. This was turning out to be an awesome day.