Alright so I wrote this a while ago, still not to sure about it. Did I try too hard to be funny? Ah who knows. I was kind of doubtful about this by I though, eh whatever I'll post it. If it's the worst thing ever tell me and I'll re-write it.
Anyway, hello and welcome, thanks for reading, don't own harvest moon, and any other jazz I forgot to mention here.
The meadow was packed, both with familiar faces and not, I guess that an event like this stirred a lot of attention from nearby villages. Dunhill, the town's resident old man and sort-of-mayor stepped forward and beamed. "Thank you everyone for celebrating with us, this is a momentous occasion for everyone here in Echo Village, in these past two years we have risen from the ashes of our dying selves, and become the prosperous village you have seen here today."
I discretely rolled my eyes at his dramatics, it had always been a certain tendency of his to overplay everything.
"-And we have no one to thank but echo village's very own rancher, Rio!" He finished. I paled, please don't bring me into this! It was too late, all attention turned to me. I waved shyly and somewhat dismissively.
"Oh, don't be modest Rio!" Said Dunhill proudly, "Why don't you come up and give a speech?"
I shook my head fervently but the crowd began to chant, "Speech! Speech! Speech!" I sighed in defeat and made my way up to the stage. "Ah, where to start?" I said nervously. I was not one for impromptu speeches. Nonsensical rants between friends maybe but not official speeches.
"About a year and a half ago I was 'given the opportunity', by my parents to move out to the country and fix up an old farm that apparently had been in our family for generations." I started. Not to give you the wrong idea since there is some discrepancy between what I said and what I wanted to say, this speech comes with translations every few lines.
Translation- I was kicked out of the home because I was a good-for-nothing freeloader and forced to take over a completely run-down farm that no one else in the family wanted to deal with.
"Upon arriving I had learned from Dunhill here that it was not only my farm that needed some fixing up. The entire town was almost entirely vacant and about to be wiped off the map from economic depression. Already in love with the village, I 'full-heartedly' offered my help to not only take on the farm, but revitalize the town." I smiled, "I got to say, I 'thought' Dunhill was crazy when he said we could pull this off but, well, here we are."
Translation- I was dragged into all of this kicking and screaming. I say "thought" but the proper conjugation here is "think". Yes, think. I still think Dunhill is insane.
"Really, you shouldn't be thanking me. It was Dunhill that did all of this planning. For these past one and a half years, he has tirelessly created town restoration plans which I just offered to help out with." I scratched the back of my head embarrassed, "I found out that I'm actually pretty adept at building houses, but then, I did spent a lot of time with lego in my childhood but I guess that's not the same."
Translation- I'VE HAD TO BUILD PRACTICALLY EVERY SINGLE BUILDING IN THIS VILLAGE. I wasn't even paid… In fact, the money for construction came out from my own pocket. I mean, "restoration plans?" This isn't Stalinist Russia, although at least his five-year plans were made for five years. Get a carpenter already!
The audience laughed. "Anyway, I'm happy to see that the village is back to its former glory, just like in my ancestor's time. I guess now I'll just have to buckle down and make my farm one the village can be proud of."
Translation- Thank Goddess this is all over. I hate my family.
Everyone clapped and I went back to sit. After this party I could finally rest easy. No more all-nighters building palaces, cutting down trees (I was in the green team in highschool, I'm so ashamed), or finding places to put that last decorative bush. No I was done, and I was looking forward to the rest.
The party finally ended and I limped home only to sleep like a log. I even planned to let myself sleep in an hour as a special reward, but alas, the world just wouldn't let me.
I awoke a six like I always do to the sound of knocking at my door. I sat up and sighed. "Come In!" I called.
Dunhill entered excitedly. "Rio my girl, you will never guess what I just thought off." His eyes met mine with glee not bothering to take in that I was still sitting half-asleep in bed.
"Maybe Santa actually lives in the South Pole, but wants to throw us off his trail?" I suggested getting up to make hot chocolate.
"No."
"That all of his reindeer are actually girls since only female reindeer have antlers at the right time of the year?" I tried again, heating the milk and chocolate.
"No." Said Dunhill shaking his head, "nothing to do with Christma- Is that true?"
I nodded and began to stir my concoction, like the potions master I could have been if my letter to Hogwarts ever came.
He waved it off his amazement at a female Rudolph and continued with whatever it was he had to say though I doubted it was more interesting than what I came up with, "I have created… Town restoration plan six!"
"What?" I asked lamely.
"Town restoration plan number six!" He repeated.
"No I heard you but, I thought we were done." I said with some irritation.
"Just listen!" He said, "This isn't like the others. There is no manual labour involved."
I lifted up my mug and twirled the spoon, "You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention," I said in a southern drawl before taking a sip and completely burning my tongue.
"Well, I have noticed that it's been quite some time since any young 'uns got together in this village. I don't think I've even seen anyone other than Camellia and Charles even look at the opposite gender."
I didn't like where this was going.
"How is this village ever supposed to survive if no one is reproducing?" He asked in exasperation. "That's why I made you this." He handed the plan.
I looked at it incredulously, "Make at least 5 couples? How do you expect me to do that?"
"If it's you, I have no doubt that you can do it, you get things done." He said patting my shoulder.
I blushed, "okay."
He headed to the door, "Well then that's all I had to say." He said, "Good luck!"
"Thanks!" I called, "Bye!"
He waved and then left. Moments later I realized what just happened. I screamed in frustration, "DARN MY WEAKNESS TO COMPLIMENTS!"
As I mucked the waste in the barn, I began to think. Were there even any potential couples in this village? None that I could think of. I finished up my last chore and headed into town. Where would I even start? My stomach grumbled, lunch, yes, I would start with lunch.
I walked into the restaurant causally and noticed Yuri at a table. I grinned and sat across from her, "Top of the morning to you!" I tried with my best British accent. I nodded with approval as it slid out of my mouth the way I heard it in my head. Accents can be funny that way.
"….Morning." She greeted. We sat in silence. I forgot how quiet the tailor could be. I was about to break out one of my 190 awesome conversation topics when Soseki entered. I grinned devilishly, town restoration plan attempt number one.
"Soseki!" I called waving my arm wildly, you know, in case he didn't notice me in the near empty restaurant. His eyes locked on me and he smiled in recognition and came to sit with us.
"Good morning Rio, Yuri." He said lazily.
"….. It's the afternoon." Replied Yuri.
He checked the clock. "So it is."
Ha! They spoke to one and other! They're definitely in love, I'm calling it now!
"Sooooo," I started, "Yuri, Soseki, you two know each other right?"
The two glanced at each other awkwardly, "…. Yes" Responded Yuri.
"Cool, cool." I said, a good start. "Do you guys have anything you have in common?"
"I don't think so." Said the man.
"Oh." I said disappointedly. "You both like cats!" I said suddenly and pat myself on the back for my genius connection. Mentally of course. Or they'd know I was crazy. I mean, think I was crazy.
The two glanced at each other again. "…Cats…. Are nice." Said Yuri with a small smile.
"They are." Said Sosuke. Both were clearly uncomfortable by this strange conversation.
Yuri glanced around nervously, "I have to go now." She said and got up to leave.
"Unfortunately, so do I, they've probably switched off the breakfast menu" Sighed Soseki, "Plus, my editor has been chasing me for days."
With both gone I sighed and then noticed Neil looking at me strangely from across the room. I got up from the now abandoned table to slide across from him.
Clearly unhappy about it he sighed.
"Hello to you too." I grumbled.
I suppose his curiosity won out over his will to ignore me because then he said, "Playing matchmaker are we?"
"Ah, you noticed my awesome matchmaking skills?" I asked. "You know matchmaking is a lot like herding sheep you-"
"I don't want to know." He mumbled, glaring through scarlet eyes. "Why don't you go back to your table?"
"I don't like eating alone." I whined and puffed up my cheeks.
He looked like he was about to respond, judging by his expression, it was probably going to be a venomous retort but Felicity came and he remained quiet.
"May I take your orders?" She asked with a smile.
"Fried rice." I said.
"The summer meal." Muttered Neil.
"Right away!" Smiled Felicity, she began her way to the kitchen but paused and turned back with a smile. "Oh and Rio," She said. I shivered, what was this murderous intent I sensed? "Next time you come here don't scare off our customers." With that she left to place our orders.
"How can she be so friendly and scary at the same time?" I asked.
Neil just frowned in confusion. I guess he didn't sense it. Maybe I'm special, what if I have the ability to sense aura? What if I need to use this ability to save the world? I could-
I was getting off-track.
"So Neil." I said and he looked at me blankly. "Wonder why I'm trying to pair up Soseki and Yuri?" I asked.
"No."
"Well you see," I started and pulled out the newest plan. "Dum-Dah-da-daaaaaaH! Town revision plan number six!"
He took the plan and his brow creased, "Make five couples? Is Dunhill out of his mind?"
"I know right?" I agreed.
"There's no way you could do this." He dismissed it and slide it back to me.
"What do you mean?" I asked in annoyance.
"Well why Yuri and Soseki?" He asked in rebuttal.
"Weeellll, Because…. Uh." I paused. "Do you know those two shinigami in Bleach? There's that Captain and his lieutenant? Yuri's like the lieutenant and Soseki's like the Captain so in other words because they both remind me of Bleach characters when they're together."
"Hopeless." He muttered under his breath. "It would never work."
I pondered that statement. "Oh." I said in sudden realization.
"You see it now?" Asked Neil in annoyance.
"Is it because Yuri means girl's love in Japanese?"
He choked on his water.
"You don't think," I blushed and put my hands to my cheeks, "She likes me do you?"
"No." He said flatly.
"Aaaahhh, what if she asks me out, what would we even do if we were dating? Do you think she likes hand-holding?" I asked shaking my head in my hands.
"Don't consider it!" He said in annoyance.
"Well let's see you do better!" I challenged.
He rubbed his temples, "I don't know, Yuri with Allen?"
I put my hand to my chin. "Because they both wear glasses! Genius."
"No," he said in annoyance, "Because they both like fashion, because their studios are beside each other and because Allen actually has an interest in her shop."
I stared at him in awe.
"Neil." I said fearfully, "you're a match making god."
Review? Tell me what you think (I feel like I need some advice here) It's my first time openly attempting comedy and this still feels a little awkward.