'I....I love you!' Rose sobbed, her hair falling across her tear-stained face.
The Doctor felt his heart-beats sped up and his breathing constrict.
He'd wanted to hear those words for so long.
For too long.
And now he heard them, he wanted her to take them back.
He didn't want to hurt.
But his hearts had torn themselves into a million tiny pieces the second the words left her mouth. Rose Tyler loved him.
'Quite right too.' He managed to say, his throat growing tighter.
Why did she have to say it now? At the end? Why did she have to make goodbye harder than it already was?
'And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it...'
He looked at her face. It was filled with agony, hope, regret and love...the most painful image he was ever going to see. The last look he was ever going to see on her face.
'Rose Tyler, I....'
He didn't do it. The star burnt out. Rose would know he hadn't had enough time to say it.
But that was a lie.
He was a Time Lord.
He'd had more than enough time to tell her. To tell her he loved her. To tell her that before she'd come into his life, his world had been an endless progression through pain and suffering and torment. He'd never thought he could love again, not after...
He brought his hands to his face, feeling the salty tears slide to his lips. The lips that had touched hers too often, and yet not enough.
To be so close to what you want, but to deny yourself...that was the true agony of love.
The Doctor couldn't bear to let Rose know he loved her.
Surely it was better not to know?
Surely it was better not to have to live with the 'what if's....' ?
What if the Daleks hadn't opened the Genesis Ark?
What if the Cybermen hadn't made it through the void?
What if he'd never met Rose?
What if none of it had happened, and he'd continued to travel alone? Would that have been better?
No matter how hard he tried to convince himself he hadn't needed her; hadn't wanted her, he couldn't.
He knew the truth was he'd loved her.
And he would never have been able to tell her.