Disclaimer: Not mine, not yours. Borrowed for the enjoyment of both.
Comments: Ok, for some reason I really love the song that pops up in this weird, twisted little story. It was the whole, 'redhead riding shotgun' part that made me connect it with Weiβ Kruez and this is what came out of it. I strongly suggest downloading the song and listening to it to get an idea of how it goes along in here. It is called "Long Way to Richmond." It's a country song (dodges rotten food). Anyway other than that this is a dream that Youji has. And it is weird and wrong. He and Aya… kinda get freaky… actually there are a lot of people getting freaky. Schwartz is in it! First time they've ever featured in a fic of mine (I don't really like them… *dodges even more rotten food*). Hope you enjoy it for what it's worth. R&R, please.
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I have no idea where I am. It's hotter than hell and it sure isn't anyplace in Japan I've ever been. I look down at my hand. I am holding a gas pump, pumping gas into a topless, bitchin' ass car. Cool. The rest of the area suddenly oozes into focus. It's a gas station… or a truck stop maybe. Everything is in English… well sorta. The money amounts are in yens. I step back and look down at myself. I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt, wrangler jeans, and… cowboy boots. What is wrong with me?
Suddenly music breaks in from all sides. I look up and there on my hood is… Crawford?! He's strumming a guitar, wearing a cowboy hat, and a wife beater. What the fuck? He starts to sing a country song in a low, sultry voice.
"Well it's a long way to Richmond
"Rolling off on 95
"With a redhead riding shotgun
"And a pistol by my side
"Tearing down that Highway
"Like a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde."
For some reason the beat instinctively makes me want to grind something. And I'm not the only one. Motion catches my eye and I turn to look into the back seat of my car. And even though what I find there is Schulderich and the little one… er Nagi… freaking something nasty I can't bring myself to be much impressed. I'm more impressed that Schulderich has a mullet. I look back at Crawford who has been joined by the freaky Irish guy… Farfagnugen… or something on banjo. He sports a bandana and… an Atlanta Braves jersey. I shake my head. They continue to jam happily.
"Hey, boy, your tank's full."
The voice snaps me out of my daze and I turn around slowly. My boots crunch on the gravel. I nearly drop the cigarette that has been dangling from my lips when I see Aya staring at me with come hither eyes as he leans seductively against one of the gas meters. He's wearing a very tight button up short-sleeved shirt and second skin boot cut jeans. I raise an eyebrow at him.
"Aya? What the hell are you doing here?! And what are they doing on my…." I trail off as I turn around to point at the various members of Schwartz who are molesting my car. But they are gone. The music has stopped. Silence fills my ears and tumbleweed blows by on the empty highway. I swallow hard and turn back to look at Aya. He's still looking at me with those dangerous eyes.
"Which way are you headed, boy? Do you need some company?" he asks.
"Uhhhh… sure."
I don't pay anyone for the gas. I don't have to. I'm not sure how I know this, but I do. As we pull out of the truck stop I hear the music start up again. It completely surrounds me. Aya nods his head to the beat and puts his hand out the window, playing with the air drafts.
I look over my shoulder into the back street. Crawford is there with his guitar. Schulderich is beside him on harmonica, mullet and all. The little one and the Farfington guy are sitting on the rolled down canopy. They are unaffected by the breeze. They get down with their bad selves. Crawford sings:
"We met at a truck stop
"Johnson City, Tennessee
"I was gassing up my Firebird
"When I heard him calling me
"Said, "'Which way are you headed boy
"'Do you need some company?'"
"What the fuck?! I cry turning to look at Aya. Aya doesn't seem to notice the Schwartzers in the backseat. He isn't even paying attention. "Aya, what's going on?"
He trains his dark eyes on me and smiles secretively. "What do you mean? Here, stop at that store. I need to get a few things. This'll only take a second."
"Ok, but what about them?!" I say hitching my finger towards the back seat.
"Who?"
I turn around. Sure enough they are gone. I hadn't noticed when the music quit.
Suddenly we are parked in the Quickmart parking lot. Aya gets out of the car and walks away. Immediately he is running back out of the store with a bag full of something. He jumps over the door and into the front seat. "Go!" he screams.
"What?" I ask, mostly confused. He turns to me and before I know what's going on he grabs my ears and starts sucking my face. Wow… that was unexpected. Still, no more so than Schulderich's mullet….
"I said, go!" he growls. "There's a man on my heels. Now just fucking go!"
"A man? What man…?" I ask looking back towards the shop.
Aya squeezes me. And I don't mean –hugs-… I think you know what I mean.
"Ok, go it is!" I cry, throwing the car, which has been conveniently idling, into gear and screeching out of the parking lot.
Aya whoops wildly and stands up in the seat, running a hand over his body and throwing his head back into the wind. He bites his lip and then runs his tongue over it. Ok, when did Aya become a –freak-?!
The music starts again. Great, here we go again. This time I don't even bother to look over my shoulder because I can see Crawford in the rearview mirror. He is strumming nonchalantly on his guitar, his cowboy hat shadowing his narrow little eyes. Farfingham is back to playing the banjo next to him. Of course this leaves the little one and Schulderich to go back to dirty dancing on the hood of my car. And they do. It's wild, nasty stuff going on out there. But for some reason it doesn't impair my vision…. Crawford begins to sing again:
"He had me stop in at a Quickmart
"Before we made it out of town
"Next thing she was running at me
"Telling me to lay that hammer down
"Cause there's a man right behind me
"Doin' his best to slow me down."
When he hits the chorus Aya sits back down and decides to climb into my lap. He dry grinds me, sucking on my neck. Sure, why not? No use fighting it now. Just call this the love mobile. Though… I never really imagined this as how propositioning Aya would go… although I don't think that I'm really propositioning him anymore. Despite all the singing and freaking and neck sucking I realize that I have absolutely no problem driving the car. Weird.
"And it's a long way to Richmond
"Rolling off on 95
"With a redhead riding shotgun
"And a pistol by my side
"Tearing down that Highway
"Like a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde."
Next thing I know it's nighttime. Aya is no longer in my lap, he's back in his seat acting like nothing happened. But then again… maybe nothing did. I'm not so sure anymore. The Schwatzers are gone. Maybe it was all an elaborate illusion. After all why would Aya want to get nasty with me in a car? But then again why are we going to Richmond? Where is Richmond? What is Richmond?
"Pull over there. At that motel," he says pointing.
"Ok. Whatever you say," I respond pulling into the conveniently placed motel. It kinda floats on a giant black cloud of locusts. That's twisted.
We don't have to check in, because I already have the key to our room. Which just happens to be the first room… and the only room. I look around as I unlock the door. Aya sweeps past me, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the room behind him. He kicks the door shut, tosses the bag of stolen goods and money onto the obligatory motel room bed, and then pounces on me.
We have sex. That's really all I can tell you. It's wet, hot, and extremely nasty, but other than that there are no details… except that it's the best sex I've ever had. And for some weird reason Manx and Birman are both there just watching and commenting. They seem pretty blasé about the whole thing. And as soon as it's over they just kinda… cease to exist.
We are completely clothed as we get up off the floor and walk to the bed. We start to
count the money and I open a pack of 'after sex' cigarettes. We smoke. It's good. Aya starts sucking on my fingers and rubbing my chest. I shrug. Whatever.
The door busts open in a shower of light and potting soil. Two cops burst in, guns drawn. My eyes go wide.
"Ken?! Omittchi?!" I cry, pushing Aya off of me. I really don't want Aya all over me when Ken has a gun….
"Cut the crap, wankers!" Ken shouts.
"Yeah! Hit the floor and reach of the sky, powder puffs!!" Omi screams shooting his gun off into the ceiling.
They look at each other and do some ninja flips around the room.
"Super Cop Team: Flower Force Two!" they cry in tandem as they land in cheesy poses back to back. Flowers erupt behind them, filling the air with rose petals and happy light.
Aya screams like a little girl and hits the floor, covering his head.
"What the fuck?!" I cry.
I am forcefully subdued at this point. They've got magical powers. Spinning hearts…. No!!
And as I am led out of the motel room the music begins again. Crawford and the others are sitting/lying/snogging/dancing/playing on the bed. Crawford starts to sing. The others sing backup this time.
"Well we pulled up to a motel
"In the middle of the night
"We were counting all the money
"Smoking stole Marlboro lights
"Lord we never saw them coming
"Till they read us both our rights."
As Aya and I are forced into the cop car, I in front with Omi at the wheel and Aya in the back with Ken, the music fades.
"Wait, this isn't fair! I didn't do anything. I was all –him-," I cry hitching my head towards Aya.
"Tell it to the judge, fancy pants," Omi says, putting the car in drive. What the hell is wrong with this picture?
We head up the dark highway, streetlights passing by in mind-blowing monotony. Then the music starts again.
This time Crawford floats by my window, strumming on his guitar. He is followed by Fafarnugen with his banjo, Schulderich on the harmonica, and Nagi who is just getting freaky with himself. They make several circuits around the car. Aya starts nibbling on Ken's ear in the back seat.
"Fine, you neck with the hostage, I'll drive the car," Omi says randomly.
"What?" I demand.
"Shut up, wanker, and enjoy the music!"
"And it's a long way to Richmond
"Rolling off on 95
"With a sheriff right beside me
"Pistol pointed at my side
"Such a disappointing ending
"For this modern-day Bonnie and Clyde."
As the last few riffs of the music fade away and Ken starts to vocalize behind me everything begins to get sloppy. The car starts to melt, the streetlamps are all falling over. Omi overcorrects for no apparent reason and we go flying off of a cliff that wasn't there.
And as we fall endlessly into space, screaming, I know this is the end. Of course it isn't really because you always wake up from falling dreams. And I do, sitting bolt upright still screaming.
I pant heavily and run a hand over my face. What a fucked up dream… ugh… Aya seduced me. Let's not ruminate on that one too much.
Jesus Christ, that is the last time I watch "Dukes of Hazard" and "Country Bandstand" reruns before I go to bed!
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After note: Weird, ne? Sorry to have subjected you to this. I'll do dreams for the other guys… eventually. Maybe. If people liked this one. Bleh. See ya, it's bed time.
Comments: Ok, for some reason I really love the song that pops up in this weird, twisted little story. It was the whole, 'redhead riding shotgun' part that made me connect it with Weiβ Kruez and this is what came out of it. I strongly suggest downloading the song and listening to it to get an idea of how it goes along in here. It is called "Long Way to Richmond." It's a country song (dodges rotten food). Anyway other than that this is a dream that Youji has. And it is weird and wrong. He and Aya… kinda get freaky… actually there are a lot of people getting freaky. Schwartz is in it! First time they've ever featured in a fic of mine (I don't really like them… *dodges even more rotten food*). Hope you enjoy it for what it's worth. R&R, please.
__________________________________________________________________
I have no idea where I am. It's hotter than hell and it sure isn't anyplace in Japan I've ever been. I look down at my hand. I am holding a gas pump, pumping gas into a topless, bitchin' ass car. Cool. The rest of the area suddenly oozes into focus. It's a gas station… or a truck stop maybe. Everything is in English… well sorta. The money amounts are in yens. I step back and look down at myself. I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt, wrangler jeans, and… cowboy boots. What is wrong with me?
Suddenly music breaks in from all sides. I look up and there on my hood is… Crawford?! He's strumming a guitar, wearing a cowboy hat, and a wife beater. What the fuck? He starts to sing a country song in a low, sultry voice.
"Well it's a long way to Richmond
"Rolling off on 95
"With a redhead riding shotgun
"And a pistol by my side
"Tearing down that Highway
"Like a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde."
For some reason the beat instinctively makes me want to grind something. And I'm not the only one. Motion catches my eye and I turn to look into the back seat of my car. And even though what I find there is Schulderich and the little one… er Nagi… freaking something nasty I can't bring myself to be much impressed. I'm more impressed that Schulderich has a mullet. I look back at Crawford who has been joined by the freaky Irish guy… Farfagnugen… or something on banjo. He sports a bandana and… an Atlanta Braves jersey. I shake my head. They continue to jam happily.
"Hey, boy, your tank's full."
The voice snaps me out of my daze and I turn around slowly. My boots crunch on the gravel. I nearly drop the cigarette that has been dangling from my lips when I see Aya staring at me with come hither eyes as he leans seductively against one of the gas meters. He's wearing a very tight button up short-sleeved shirt and second skin boot cut jeans. I raise an eyebrow at him.
"Aya? What the hell are you doing here?! And what are they doing on my…." I trail off as I turn around to point at the various members of Schwartz who are molesting my car. But they are gone. The music has stopped. Silence fills my ears and tumbleweed blows by on the empty highway. I swallow hard and turn back to look at Aya. He's still looking at me with those dangerous eyes.
"Which way are you headed, boy? Do you need some company?" he asks.
"Uhhhh… sure."
I don't pay anyone for the gas. I don't have to. I'm not sure how I know this, but I do. As we pull out of the truck stop I hear the music start up again. It completely surrounds me. Aya nods his head to the beat and puts his hand out the window, playing with the air drafts.
I look over my shoulder into the back street. Crawford is there with his guitar. Schulderich is beside him on harmonica, mullet and all. The little one and the Farfington guy are sitting on the rolled down canopy. They are unaffected by the breeze. They get down with their bad selves. Crawford sings:
"We met at a truck stop
"Johnson City, Tennessee
"I was gassing up my Firebird
"When I heard him calling me
"Said, "'Which way are you headed boy
"'Do you need some company?'"
"What the fuck?! I cry turning to look at Aya. Aya doesn't seem to notice the Schwartzers in the backseat. He isn't even paying attention. "Aya, what's going on?"
He trains his dark eyes on me and smiles secretively. "What do you mean? Here, stop at that store. I need to get a few things. This'll only take a second."
"Ok, but what about them?!" I say hitching my finger towards the back seat.
"Who?"
I turn around. Sure enough they are gone. I hadn't noticed when the music quit.
Suddenly we are parked in the Quickmart parking lot. Aya gets out of the car and walks away. Immediately he is running back out of the store with a bag full of something. He jumps over the door and into the front seat. "Go!" he screams.
"What?" I ask, mostly confused. He turns to me and before I know what's going on he grabs my ears and starts sucking my face. Wow… that was unexpected. Still, no more so than Schulderich's mullet….
"I said, go!" he growls. "There's a man on my heels. Now just fucking go!"
"A man? What man…?" I ask looking back towards the shop.
Aya squeezes me. And I don't mean –hugs-… I think you know what I mean.
"Ok, go it is!" I cry, throwing the car, which has been conveniently idling, into gear and screeching out of the parking lot.
Aya whoops wildly and stands up in the seat, running a hand over his body and throwing his head back into the wind. He bites his lip and then runs his tongue over it. Ok, when did Aya become a –freak-?!
The music starts again. Great, here we go again. This time I don't even bother to look over my shoulder because I can see Crawford in the rearview mirror. He is strumming nonchalantly on his guitar, his cowboy hat shadowing his narrow little eyes. Farfingham is back to playing the banjo next to him. Of course this leaves the little one and Schulderich to go back to dirty dancing on the hood of my car. And they do. It's wild, nasty stuff going on out there. But for some reason it doesn't impair my vision…. Crawford begins to sing again:
"He had me stop in at a Quickmart
"Before we made it out of town
"Next thing she was running at me
"Telling me to lay that hammer down
"Cause there's a man right behind me
"Doin' his best to slow me down."
When he hits the chorus Aya sits back down and decides to climb into my lap. He dry grinds me, sucking on my neck. Sure, why not? No use fighting it now. Just call this the love mobile. Though… I never really imagined this as how propositioning Aya would go… although I don't think that I'm really propositioning him anymore. Despite all the singing and freaking and neck sucking I realize that I have absolutely no problem driving the car. Weird.
"And it's a long way to Richmond
"Rolling off on 95
"With a redhead riding shotgun
"And a pistol by my side
"Tearing down that Highway
"Like a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde."
Next thing I know it's nighttime. Aya is no longer in my lap, he's back in his seat acting like nothing happened. But then again… maybe nothing did. I'm not so sure anymore. The Schwatzers are gone. Maybe it was all an elaborate illusion. After all why would Aya want to get nasty with me in a car? But then again why are we going to Richmond? Where is Richmond? What is Richmond?
"Pull over there. At that motel," he says pointing.
"Ok. Whatever you say," I respond pulling into the conveniently placed motel. It kinda floats on a giant black cloud of locusts. That's twisted.
We don't have to check in, because I already have the key to our room. Which just happens to be the first room… and the only room. I look around as I unlock the door. Aya sweeps past me, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the room behind him. He kicks the door shut, tosses the bag of stolen goods and money onto the obligatory motel room bed, and then pounces on me.
We have sex. That's really all I can tell you. It's wet, hot, and extremely nasty, but other than that there are no details… except that it's the best sex I've ever had. And for some weird reason Manx and Birman are both there just watching and commenting. They seem pretty blasé about the whole thing. And as soon as it's over they just kinda… cease to exist.
We are completely clothed as we get up off the floor and walk to the bed. We start to
count the money and I open a pack of 'after sex' cigarettes. We smoke. It's good. Aya starts sucking on my fingers and rubbing my chest. I shrug. Whatever.
The door busts open in a shower of light and potting soil. Two cops burst in, guns drawn. My eyes go wide.
"Ken?! Omittchi?!" I cry, pushing Aya off of me. I really don't want Aya all over me when Ken has a gun….
"Cut the crap, wankers!" Ken shouts.
"Yeah! Hit the floor and reach of the sky, powder puffs!!" Omi screams shooting his gun off into the ceiling.
They look at each other and do some ninja flips around the room.
"Super Cop Team: Flower Force Two!" they cry in tandem as they land in cheesy poses back to back. Flowers erupt behind them, filling the air with rose petals and happy light.
Aya screams like a little girl and hits the floor, covering his head.
"What the fuck?!" I cry.
I am forcefully subdued at this point. They've got magical powers. Spinning hearts…. No!!
And as I am led out of the motel room the music begins again. Crawford and the others are sitting/lying/snogging/dancing/playing on the bed. Crawford starts to sing. The others sing backup this time.
"Well we pulled up to a motel
"In the middle of the night
"We were counting all the money
"Smoking stole Marlboro lights
"Lord we never saw them coming
"Till they read us both our rights."
As Aya and I are forced into the cop car, I in front with Omi at the wheel and Aya in the back with Ken, the music fades.
"Wait, this isn't fair! I didn't do anything. I was all –him-," I cry hitching my head towards Aya.
"Tell it to the judge, fancy pants," Omi says, putting the car in drive. What the hell is wrong with this picture?
We head up the dark highway, streetlights passing by in mind-blowing monotony. Then the music starts again.
This time Crawford floats by my window, strumming on his guitar. He is followed by Fafarnugen with his banjo, Schulderich on the harmonica, and Nagi who is just getting freaky with himself. They make several circuits around the car. Aya starts nibbling on Ken's ear in the back seat.
"Fine, you neck with the hostage, I'll drive the car," Omi says randomly.
"What?" I demand.
"Shut up, wanker, and enjoy the music!"
"And it's a long way to Richmond
"Rolling off on 95
"With a sheriff right beside me
"Pistol pointed at my side
"Such a disappointing ending
"For this modern-day Bonnie and Clyde."
As the last few riffs of the music fade away and Ken starts to vocalize behind me everything begins to get sloppy. The car starts to melt, the streetlamps are all falling over. Omi overcorrects for no apparent reason and we go flying off of a cliff that wasn't there.
And as we fall endlessly into space, screaming, I know this is the end. Of course it isn't really because you always wake up from falling dreams. And I do, sitting bolt upright still screaming.
I pant heavily and run a hand over my face. What a fucked up dream… ugh… Aya seduced me. Let's not ruminate on that one too much.
Jesus Christ, that is the last time I watch "Dukes of Hazard" and "Country Bandstand" reruns before I go to bed!
________________________________________________________________________
After note: Weird, ne? Sorry to have subjected you to this. I'll do dreams for the other guys… eventually. Maybe. If people liked this one. Bleh. See ya, it's bed time.