Part One
Chapter One:
Everyone knows how Anakin Skywalker was seduced by the dark side, how he became Darth Vader, what happened to his children, who they were, and who they became. But what you don't know is what would have happened if he hadn't turned to the Dark Side for support. We are going to rewind the events of the past, and the ways of the Force, to a far-away galaxy, long long ago…
Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi stood in the center of the Jedi council. "There has been another assassination attempt on Senator Amidala's life." Obi-Wan Kenobi told the council.
"I think," Anakin Skywalker interrupted his Master, "that the only way to stop the attempts is to find out who's carrying them out and stop them."
"I don't know Anakin, who will protect her?"
"Your Padawan is right, Master Kenobi," said esteemed Master Mace Windu. "Anakin will protect her, he is fully capable, and you will pursue the assassin. Everyone agree?" Master Windu looked around the room.
"Find this assassin, you must," Yoda told the Jedi in a raspy, experienced voice. "Important to the Republic this vote is." Yoda stamped his gymer stick on the council room floor.
"We won't fail you, Master," Anakin bowed, and was ready to leave, now inspired by two things; Master Windu's words, and the fact that he was going to be alone with Padme Amidala. Obi-Wan sighed, shook his head, and nodded to the council.
"Yes, you're right." Obi-Wan knew that these steps must be made to protect the Senator, but he did not want his Padawan to get into any trouble involving the Senator. Obi-Wan could sense Anakin's feelings for her, and he was worried time alone with Amidala might inspire the Padawan to do more than protecting…
Anakin and Obi-Wan walked to the Senator Amidala's apartments, Obi-Wan watched Anakin in the elevator on the way down. Anakin was tense, very tense. He was breathing deeply, preparing himself for the task ahead. "Why is he so tense?" Obi-Wan asked him self, "I certainly hope he's not thinking of trying anything stupid…more stupid than normal, anyway."
"Senator Amidala," Obi-Wan said, "I've been assigned to pursue the assassin who's been after you, while Anakin will protect you."
"Oh," Padme mumbled, "oh, alright."
"But Coruscant is too dangerous for you M'lady," Anakin added, stepping forward, "I'm supposed to take you back to Naboo."
"Alright," Padme mumbled. She was secretly uneasy about being alone with Anakin. Everything about him made her uneasy. The way he was looking at her, the way he supposed to not take his eyes off her. She felt awkward about him watching her as she lay in her bed, wearing a slightly revealing nightdress. She had always been watched, so no harm would come to her in her political career, and she'd never had a problem with it, until now. Why she felt weird around Anakin, why he was different, she did not know. She hadn't ever felt like this, and she didn't know why. She wanted answers, but the only one that could answer them was herself, and she didn't know, she was afraid to know, for fear of what it might mean.
"You need to leave tomorrow morning, travel as refugees. No private ships, nothing official either. Take Artoo with you." Obi-Wan told them. He walked out of the door, bowing to the Senator, then signaling to Anakin, who bowed as well –watching the Senator as he did- and walked out behind Obi-Wan.
After closing the door, Obi-Wan looked to Anakin, who was smiling in spite of himself. "Remember," Obi-Wan snapped, bringing Anakin down from his cloud of happy delusions, "don't do anything stupid." Obi-Wan eyed his Padawan, and started walking away. Anakin followed.
"Stupid?" Anakin asked sarcastically. "Me, do anything…stupid? Why, Obi-Wan, where would you get an idea like that?"
"Experience." Anakin laughed, much to Obi-Wan's dismay, it was just another joke to him. He wasn't taking it seriously. "Anakin, I mean it."
"I know you do. I…just happened to be enjoying it is all."
"Well don't. You need to be aware, and completely serious."
"Don't worry, I will be."
Obi-Wan walked to Senator Amidala's apartments. Anakin had left the temple about half an hour earlier, but he wanted to give some last-minute advice before he left fro Naboo. He knocked on the door, a handmaiden admitted him. "Hello, Master Kenobi." She eyeballed him, as she said it, and smiled. She liked what she saw.
"I'm here to see my Padawan, Anakin, has he left?"
"Yes…but only just."
"I see. Well, thank you anyway…" Obi-Wan paused, wondering the name of the handmaiden.
"Desiree." Her voice was like bells to him. She was beautiful; her soft brown hair fell in curls on her shoulders. Her blue eyes sparkled, and her smile was soft and innocent…and loving. Obi-Wan was caught off-guard.
"Desiree…like desire…" he thought to himself. He bowed, "Thank you, Desiree."
Obi-Wan walked away from the apartment. Obi-Wan didn't know what it was like to be loved. He'd always been secretly jealous of Anakin, though naturally, he'd never admit it. Anakin had been really loved. He'd known his mother, Obi-Wan hadn't. Obi-Wan didn't know what it was like to love, but he was getting an idea.
Desiree made his heart leap, just with her voice; he was intoxicated by her voice, that bell sound. He'd never heard anything like it. He could just imagine holding her, looking into those eyes…losing himself there…that was all he wanted…NO! He couldn't, he was a Jedi. He didn't think even Anakin would be stupid enough to pull a stunt like that… Obi-Wan sighed, "I wish I could see her again."
Hours later, Obi-Wan got into his ship, and began his trip to Kamino. He felt unnatural turbulence in the ship. Obi-Wan was forced to land on the nearby planet of Corellia. As he stepped out of the speeder, he saw something move behind of his seat in the speeder. "Who's there?" Obi-Wan ignited his lightsaber. Startled, Desiree stepped from the speeder. "Desiree!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, unable to control his excitement.
"Hello, Obi-Wan…" she mumbled, not looking into his eyes.
"Desiree…WH-what are you doing here?"
"I had to see you again."
"Why?" Obi-Wan's heart was pumping, hoping for the answer that he wanted so desperately to hear. The one that would make him, or destroy him.
"I-I think I love you." Obi-Wan's mouth hung agape, completely in awe.
"Desiree…I, I am-"
"A Jedi, I know."
"And I'm not supposed to have relationships like that…and I hate to admit it but…I think I love you too." He smiled at her, she smiled back. He grabbed onto her hand, and they walked down the streets of Corellia.
Anakin and Padme stood on a balcony looking over the lake of Naboo. "I remember how we'd lay on the sand and let the sun dry us, and try to guess the names of the birds singing." Padme said, remembering her childhood.
"I hate sand. It's coarse, and rough and irritating…and it gets everywhere." Anakin paused to look up at Padme and vaguely smile. "Not like here. Here everything is soft…" Anakin bit his lip, and reached his hand out to stroke Padme's back, "and smooth." Padme looked up at him, he looked down at her. Slowly, they moved in toward each other. Their lips met. Anakin's heart leapt his pulse racing. Padme gave in and let her heart take over her. They stood on the balcony, letting the wind tousle their hair, and Padme suddenly pulled away from him, her common sense taking over again.
"No, I shouldn't have done that." She nervously rubbed her hands together and straightened her posture. Anakin sighed and straightened as well. He looked down at her, confused.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled, squinting out at the lake.
Obi-Wan stood with Desiree looking out over Corellia. Neither of them spoke. Desiree took his hand and smiled at him. She laid her head down on his shoulder, he kissed her forehead. "Even Anakin wouldn't do something like this," Obi-Wan thought to himself, "why am I?" He knew he shouldn't be here with her. He shouldn't be having anything to do with her, but he wanted to be with her. He wanted to hold her, to be with her forever. He loved her. He now knew how Anakin might have felt, in not seeing Padme for ten years. He didn't want to leave her. Oh how he wanted to stay in that moment forever.
Anakin Skywalker sat in a grassy field with Padme Amidala; she wore a golden dress the flowed around her. Her hair was kept in two buns, with golden nets keeping them in tact, while the rest of her hair fell in curls around her face. Anakin couldn't take his eyes off her. Not that he was supposed to, but he didn't want to.
Anakin saw an animal wandering a ways away, and got up to follow it. Padme turned her head to watch what he was doing. She saw him riding the beast, with it jerking around, trying to buck him off. He fell to the ground face first. "On no!" thought Padme as she began running to him. She knelt down beside him, and rolled him over onto his back, he was laughing; just laughing.
"You jerk! You made me think you were hurt!" she smacked his chest. He rolled over so that she was in his arms, and they rolled around on the field.
Obi-Wan stepped into his star fighter. Desiree ran up just as he began to lower the shield. "Obi-Wan," she said, "let me come with you!"
"Desiree, you know why I can't do that." He got back out of the star fighter, and walked toward her. He kissed her lightly on the cheek, and then returned to his ship. "Goodbye, Desiree." He mumbled softly. A single tear escaped from Desiree's eye as he lifted into the early-morning sky. She bit her lip, and wrapped her jacket around her tightly as the wind from the ship's takeoff blew her hair in all directions.
She continued to cry softly as she walked to a house in the finer neighborhoods of Corellia. Desiree knocked on the door, unsure what would happen.
"Desiree!" exclaimed a woman as she opened the door.
"Hello, mother," Desiree stepped through the door.
"Why aren't you on Coruscant?"
"I-I…I don't know…"
"Come in dear," her mother murmured as she hustled her daughter into the house. "Desiree's here!" the woman called into the hallway depths of the fine house. Instantly, her family popped out of the hallways, through doors, and peering in through windows. Once verifying the new arrival, they came toward her, hugging and kissing her, glad to have her back. They could not even imagine why, but their dear Desiree was far, far away; too far for comfort.
Padme and Anakin sat by the fireplace in the lake house. Awkward silence engulfed them. Anakin looked to her, she looked away. "From the moment I met you," he began, breaking the silence, "all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony." Anakin paused, waiting for a reaction from Padme, when he did not receive one, he continued. "The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. At the thought of not being with you…I can't breathe." Padme squirmed a little bit, and readjusted her posture. "I am haunted by the kiss you should never have given me. My heart is beating," He leaned in toward Padme, she leaned in to kiss him and he pulled away, nearly taunting her…and himself, "hoping that that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. And I'd do…I will do anything you ask."
Anakin looked to Padme, waiting for an answer, she finally looked at him, and then, slowly, she looked away. "Humph," Anakin mumbled, "If you are suffering as much as I am then please tell me."
"I can't…we can't…it's-just not possible." She could barely speak, the words only came out of her because her brain was forcing them to, yet her heart wished she could take them back.
"Anything is possible, Padme, listen to me…"
"No you listen! We live in a real world, come back to it. You're studying to become a Jedi, I'm a senator. If you follow you're thoughts through to conclusion, it will take us to a place we cannot go. Regardless of the way we feel about each other."
"Then you do feel something!"
"I will not let you give up your future for me."
Anakin leapt up suddenly, slowly walking towards her "You are asking me to be rational that is something I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish I could just…wish away my feelings…but I can't."
"I will not give in to this." Anakin nodded, then turned to leave, but paused in the doorway.
"Well you know it-wouldn't have to be that way…we could keep it a secret."
"We'd be living a lie. One we couldn't keep…even if we wanted to. I couldn't do that, could you Anakin, could you live like that?" Silence over came them, and all that could be heard for a few moments was the crackling of the fire.
"No," Anakin said regretfully, "no, you're right. It would destroy us."
Anakin was between the lands of past and future, between what will be certainly and what can be changed, between sleep and awake. He tossed, he turned, he pitched and he mumbled. He could not get the image of his mother out of his head. She was in terrible pain; he could feel it in every fiber of his being, every muscle, every nerve. Everything in him was pointing him to what he forced to ignore. His eyes shot open, and he breathed heavily, trying desperately to catch his breath.
Anakin shook the sleep off him, rose, and dressed. He crept to the balcony overlooking the lake. He stood still as a statue, his eyes closed, his mind and body in tune to the Force. The curtain to Padme's room swung open and she stepped out. As she slowly crept behind Anakin, and he did not stir, she turned to leave him.
"Don't go," he said, startling her.
"I don't want to disturb you."
"Your presence is soothing." Padme paused, looking at him stand so still…
"You had another nightmare last night."
"Jedi don't have nightmares."
"I heard you."
Anakin slowly opened his eyes, "I saw my mother." He turned to face Padme as she stepped closer to him. "She is suffering Padme. I saw her as clearly as I see you now." He stared at her for a moment, before he took a step and turned away from her. Shaking his head, putting his hands to his hips, sighing, dropping his shoulder and releasing the tension within them he said, "She is in pain." Anakin turned back to face Padme. "I know I'm disobeying my mandate to protect you, Senator, but I have to go." He stepped back toward her. "I have to help her."
"I'll go with you," she said uncertainly, yet loyally.
"I'm sorry but I don't have a choice," Anakin let out his breath, and he seemed a bit more relieved.