Izzie tapped her pen absently on the chart she was supposed to be reviewing at the nurse's station. Her eyes were instead glued to the doctor across the hallway leaning against the wall, flirting with another nurse. Their laughter echoing throughout the almost empty hallway. Typical, Izzie fumed. Her eyes glared daggers at the two but they didn't seem to notice. Too engrossed in each other. Each time Mark would reach out and touch the nurse, or the nurse would laugh at something he said, Izzie's scowl deepened. Jealousy surged through her and she wanted to toss the pen and the chart and the nearest computer monitor at them. Maybe that would-
"Green isn't a good color on you, Iz." The blonde jumped as Alex sauntered over to her, smirk widening as she colored, his gaze lingering on the couple she seconds ago had been shooting dark looks at. He leaned forward, elbows resting on the counter of the station. "If you love McSteamy just tell him."
Izzie resisted the urge to roll her eyes, instead turning them to the chart in her hands. "I don't love him." She murmured, well aware if she said it any louder Alex would hear the lack of confidence. Alex scoffed, muttering something under his breath. She did roll her eyes then and tuned what he was currently saying out. She didn't want to hear it. The words on the page blended together and she sighed, throwing the chart down. Bailey would be pissed but she just couldn't focus right now... Her eyes darted across the hallway again.
Ok, Izzie had lied to Alex. She did love Mark... She didn't know how it happened. She don't know when it happened. When hate turned into love. When disgust turned into intense sexual desire. She. didn't. know. She can't remember the day her feelings changed. She can't remember why her feelings changed. What he did, what event happened, to make her feel this way. All she knows is she loves him and she hates it.
She hates that when he looks at her, when he throws that self righteous smirk at her, she gets butterflies in her stomach. She hates how when he says her name her heart skips a beat. Or when they brush up against each other her breath catches in her throat. She hates it. She hates when he flirts with another woman, her insides twist and she can't decide whether to cry or scream out in anger. She used to be a strong, confident, woman. She used to be able to resist his charm. Now she's like a blushing schoolgirl who melts whenever they're in the same room.
She isn't who she used to be.
And he doesn't know...which she guesses is a good thing. Because the moment he does, she'll never hear the end of it. So he'll never know. And though Izzie's brain knows how that has to be, her heart can't help but break a little.
She doesn't know how it happened. She doesn't know when it happened.All she knows is she loves him..and she hates it...
Mark seemed to finally realize they had an audience because he tore his gaze off the woman in front of him, locking eyes with Izzie.
He winked.
Her heart jumped to her throat and she slammed her hands down on the nurse's station causing Alex and the nearest physicians to jump. She ignored them as she stood up and walked away, not aware Mark's eyes were following her. She loved him but she hated it.
A/N: I accidentally deleted this so I'm reposting this...but the whole thing has been edited.