Disclaimer: I don't own any of Nintendo's characters or any other characters that pop up in this story other than the ones I make up. Are we clear? Good, now read.
The Penny War
The black coated general walked toward a table in the middle of a room surrounded on all sides by various lieutenants, generals, and other army officials. His scar on the left side of his face shown strongly the number of battles he had entered.
"General Copper, the penny cannons are coined up and ready to fire at their penny blockade," said a man wearing an official looking coat that had three pennies sewn into the front to signify the soldiers rank.
"Good, now we discussed the plan and have a decent strategy. Are there any questions?" General Copper questioned.
"Yes Sir, I have one." said the soldier with three pennies on his coat.
"Well go on then, ask away," the General ordered.
"Do you have change for a dollar?"
"These are times of war soldier; we need all the change we can get."
"So is that a yes or a no?"
"Neither soldier!"
"Are you sure General, I saw you holding a role of pennies when we entered the base!" At this General Copper stopped and began to look suspiciously back and forth.
"Why would I, the legendary General Copper, be holding pennies back from our nation?" the general questioned in a frightened manner. Unfortunately the general backed himself into a wall and 1,658,423,181,531 rolls of pennies fell from his pocket.
"Ha, I knew it!" said the soldier in a celebratory shout. "I never would have guessed you would be a trader General Copper, or is that really the reason why you have all those pennies?"
"I'm no trader; I've been saving these for our trip to the candy store." The general said in defense.
"You mendacious little cheat, you got those pennies from the armory," said the soldier as he made this startling realization.
"Sir there is only 1,658,423,181,531 rolls of pennies here," said a random lieutenant as he had finished counting the rolls on the floor.
"So? And your point is?" the soldier asked.
"The armory lost 1,658,423,181,532 rolls, the general is missing one!" the lieutenant shouted excitedly.
"Then that means he's innocent!" assured the first soldier.
"Yes!" shouted the General as he raised his fist in the air for his lucky victory. Unfortunately the motion caused a penny roll that was stuck in the general's pocket to fall out. "Darn!" shouted the general as he knocked out the soldier who had first asked him for change. This then led to an all out fight between General Copper and the rest of the soldiers. As they all began to fight a plumber in a red shirt and blue overalls took that time to announce his presence.
"Its-a me, MARIOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Mario shouted causing the fight to stop, for about four seconds when they all ran over and started beating on Mario.
Off to the side a girl wearing a pink dress said to herself, "It sure is a nice day, Mario's getting beat to death, we're in the middle of a long war, sickness is spreading all across the land, countless deaths have occurred, and to top it off it's raining."
The so called rain was actually pennies from the enemy base. As Mario was being beat to death he took notice of this and did nothing because he was being beat to death. Then all of a sudden the soldiers joined hands and started to sing. Then a giant three-million pound penny landed on the base, killing everybody.
What Princess Peach said was true this really was a great day.
Author Note: Now that the fake beginning has been completely written, I will be able to start of this story correctly… in the next chapter. Stay tuned for the true beginning of an action packed comedy of what happens when all that is left to fight with are pennies… in the Smash Bros. Universe no less.