Art by PoroSnacks:

"I didn't think goblins were one of the species in the exchange program." Miss Smith said after taking a sip of her coffee.

"They aren't. No goblin representatives signed the treaty, and from what I can get out of our Liminal contacts, no one ever thought to include them. But this one came to us." The Agent handed Miss Smith a folder. "We were on an expedition to meet with several groups in the program and she showed up at our camp one day," he said as he gestured through the one way window. In the room beyond sat a pretty girl doing her best to remain awake while watching an government video. She was definitely non-human, her skin was green and she was only 4 feet tall. Unruly red hair restrained in a high ponytail topped her head and a few earrings asymmetrically decorated her large pointed ears. As she yawned one could see a mouthful of sharp teeth filled her head. Her eyes were unfocused and her ears were starting to droop. Miss Smith figured she would be snoozing any minute now.

"She tried talking to us but our guides didn't speak Goblin so we shooed her off." The man continued, "Every day she showed back up with an offering of some sort, mostly game she had caught. No matter where we went she was able to find our camp. She was not hurting anything so we started to let her hang around. A couple of the guys even taught her to play cards with them. After a few weeks of this she started to talk to us in Japanese. I guess she picked it up listening to us. I was so impressed that despite the Guides' protest, I interviewed her and signed her up."

"And now you are passing her off on me?" Smith said unhappily.

"Oh, she should be easy to place. She is small, has no special needs, and quite literally can and will eat anything. And I mean anything."

"So what's the problem?" Ms Smith asked as she looked at him over her dark glasses.

"What do you mean by that, Agent Smith?" The tall man played innocent.

"A poor civil servant such as myself can't catch a break, so there has to be a problem." Miss Smith said over her coffee.

"Nothing much, it's nothing really. It's not like goblins are dangerous or anything. From what I understand, they are matriarchal. The tribe is made of a small number of female goblins who run things and a horde of males who provide the muscle. The males are cunning in a way, but not big thinkers."

"So, she has trouble with male authority figures?" Smith sat her cup down.

"Some." The man looked into the room through the window and scratched his head a moment, "But this program is for people to learn about other cultures and she seems willing to."

"Ok, let me talk to her." Ms Smith picked up her coffee and opened the door. "Miss Gretchen is it?" Smith read from the file.

"No! Yes! Wait! I was watching it!" The girl sprang awake and to her feet. She shook her head to clear it and pointed to the TV. "Really, I tried, but this guy is just so boring."

"Don't worry, the only ones who have make it through the video are elves, in fact they seemed to enjoy it." Miss Smith sat down in one of the chairs in the room. She crossed her legs and took a sip of her coffee.

"Elves would." Gretchen hopped back up on her chair.

"Well, I am Agent Smith, can you tell me why you want to be in the exchange program?" Miss Smith paused the video.

"Yes I can." Gretchen nodded and began her speech, "The world is changing, not only do goblins need to learn about humans, but humans need to learn about goblins. If humans learn that we are not filthy monsters, but people, then maybe humans and goblins can be friends?" She tilted her head with a little smile, one ear up and one down in an inquisitive expression. "Being a monster has nothing to do with what you are, but who you are."

"Not all humans are so open minded, and you know you can't hurt any humans, no matter how much of a monster they are to you." Smith warned.

"I won't, I promise." The goblin girl held up a hand and tried very hard and very unsuccessfully to look serious.

"It will be hard." Smith reminded her.

"I am Gretchen Spider Rider, Daughter of Chieftain Ronda, no human will come to harm by my hand, tooth, or blade." Her tone was calm, serious, and final. Miss Smith looked at her for a moment then moved on.

"If the head of the house is a man will you obey him?"

"Yes, it is weird how you treat your men, quite noble actually." The small green girl shrugged, her ears drooped. "It seems to work for you, so I will too." Miss Smith thought for a moment about explaining how things between human men and women really were, and how women were struggling to be considered equals even to this day, but that was too much work, she had enough to do already.

"I have a family in mind for you, they don't have a lot of room, but you are small," Smith said. "Come on, I'll take you there." Smith rose from the seat.

"What about the video?" Gretchen asked, pointing to the TV.

"I have a lot of things to do today, come on," Smith said as she opened the door. "It's not like anyone pays it any mind anyway."

"Yes!" Gretchen said as she hopped down from her chair. She snagged a small duffle bag from the floor and followed after. The government building was a twisting maze of rooms, hallways, and cubicle farms. Gretchen followed closely behind Miss Smith so as not to loose her in the twist and turns or be trampled by the larger people who filled the building. As they rounded one corner a large figure silently crept up behind them. Looming even over Miss Smith, the she-ogre barely fit in the hallway. Her normally carefree face was focused on the task at hand. When she got right up behind them, she tackled the goblin.

"I got her! I got her girls, find the others!" Tionishia shouted as she tackled Gretchen.

"A female! Good, we have an infestation!" Zombina said as she pulled entirely too many guns out of a duffle bag. "I mean Crap, Crap we have an infestation!" The zombie corrected herself unconvincingly.

"I have never seen a female," Manako added from behind the zombie.

"What are you girls doing?" Ms Smith scolded. "Tio, let her up."

"Sorry Miss Smith, but we got goblins." Tio got up to find she did not in fact have anyone in her arms. "Ah, she got away. Miss Smith, behind you!" She pointed to the goblin hiding behind Smith. Gretchen stood ready to bolt again should she feel threatened.

"She is in the exchange program," Smith said placing a hand on the goblin. "I am taking her to her host family."

"Oh," Zombina said, "so she is alone?" The zombie lowered her guns, disappointed.

"Yes. Does that matter?" Smith was curious. The MON girls relaxed at this. Manako walked up to Gretchen, examining her.

"Sorry, We acted rashly, please forgive us." Manako made a slight bow. Gretchen stepped out from behind Smith.

"Don't worry, I have no intent on starting a family for a long time." She smiled one of her toothy grins and stepped forward. "I am Gretchen." She held out her hand. Manako took her hand and shook it. For a second Smith looked down at her small charge and wondered how she could scare the girls so, but then she remembered her pay and workload and decided, 'Not my problem!'.

"OK, let's get going. Don't forget the paperwork girls." Smith said as she and Gretchen left.

An ANM48 song played on the car's radio as they drove through the city. Smith softly sung along as she drove, ignoring the comments and questions from her excited passenger. Gretchen's eyes were wide taking it all in, and she was getting fingerprints on the window pointing at all the wonders of everyday life. They drove past a university campus and pulled up in front of a large old house. Three doors lead into the house, each with a different name next to it. Smith put the car in park.

"Here we are. Dr. Kato said she will be home today to greet you. She doesn't have classes on Tuesday. Let's go." They hopped out of the car and made their way to the left most door. Smith rung the doorbell and waited. The door opened to reveal a woman in her thirties with long hair and thick glasses.

"Miss Smith, I was so excited when you said you had a student for me. Please come in." She beckoned the two to enter her home. They entered and removed their shoes. "I am Mika Kato. Welcome to my home, and please make yourself comfortable." She motioned to the cozy living room adorned with a comfy couch, two well loved chairs with reading lamps, and walls lined with stuffed bookcases. An old cat lay in one of the windowsills, ignoring them all. They entered the room and took seats.

"This is Gretchen," Smith introduced her charge, "She's a goblin."

"Hi!" The green girl said as she climbed up into the couch and was nearly swallowed by the soft cushions, "I am excited to start learning." Her eyes and ears were alert, taking everything in.

"So am I", Mika said, "I haven't read anything about goblins, so this will be very interesting. Coffee, Gretchen?" She offered as she poured a cup from the carafe on the table and handed it to Smith without asking.

"Yes!" Gretchen said eager to try new things. She took the cup and with a sidelong look at Smith sipping the hot beverage, did so herself. She was taken aback by the bitter taste, but continued to drink it.

"Now I can't stay long, Dr. Kato, but I just want to remind you two about the basic rules," Smith said over her coffee, "One: Gretchen can't leave the house without a member of the family with her. And two: She can't harm a human. If she breaks these rules she can be deported. I would also remind you that you are to help her learn about Japanese culture and not just study her."

"We will learn a lot from each other," Mika said with a smile. "And I'll respect her privacy."

"What are you talking about?" Gretchen asked as she finished another sip of her coffee.

"Well, I'm an anthropologist, I study people and cultures. I am hoping you would want to help me learn about goblin culture while I help you with human culture," Mika answered.

"Oh," Gretchen smiled, "I would love to, I want humans and goblins to be friends." She took another drink and announced, "It's bitter, but this really wakes you up! Is this why humans don't sleep at the height of the day?"

"Well," Mika said, "some cultures take a nap in the afternoon, but in general humans remain awake all day, with or without coffee. I take it goblins don't?"

"No, we sleep during the brightest part of the day and the darkness part of the night." Gretchen finished her coffee and held the cup out. "More please!" She practically bounced on the overstuffed cushions of the couch with excitement.

"So goblins are crepuscular, interesting." Mika poured half a cup for Gretchen. "Let's take it easy on the caffeine why don't we. You are not used to it."

"And with that I'll leave you two," Smith sat her empty cup down, "I got work to do and a host to drop in on and stir the pot so to speak. Tell Mr. Kato 'Hi' for me."

"Hey Sweetie, smells like you got dinner tonight. What are we having?" Ryu Kato said as he removed his shoes. He made his way to the kitchen to find his wife setting the table and an incredibly short green woman with wild red hair standing on a stepstool at the stove.

"Hi Ryu, guess what? We finally got approved for a Homestay student!" Mika said as she moved to meet him. "Gretchen, come meet my husband." The green girl jumped down from the stool and scampered over to meet him. She was definitely a sight, a full grown woman at only 4 foot tall with green skin, long pointed ears, and topped with long wild red hair. She smiled widely at him, displaying a mouth full of sharp teeth, and held out her hand that was not holding a spatula.

"Hi! I'm Gretchen."

"Pleased to meet you." Ryu took her hand. "You're cooking?" He was unsure about this.

"Ya, It's Goblin food! Mrs Mika said she wanted to try some. Now we couldn't get any rat or even frog, but I think this animal you call chicken will work just fine." Gretchen apologized.

"Rat? Frog? Goblin cooking? Are you sure about this?" He looked to his wife.

"Of course I am, food is a very important part of culture, and Gretchen wanted to help out, so I let her lead." She eased her husband to sit down at the table. "Besides, I talked her into using chicken, so it's not too unusual." She went to the kitchen to help Gretchen carry the food to the table. Mika brought out a roast chicken rubbed with some sort of spices and surrounded by potatoes and various other tubers. Gretchen followed after with some fruit.

"Now," Mika said as she took her seat, "How do you eat goblin food? Forks or chopsticks?" She held up the two options.

"Hands!" Gretchen said, holding up the correct utensils. And with that, the food was passed around and the three began to eat, some with more vigor than others.

"This is nice, I like chicken like this," Mika said as she licked a finger clean.

"Ya, I was nervous, but this is good, so you were able to find everything at the store?" Ryu said as he used a napkin.

"No, but the park across the street has a lot of good stuff growing in it." Gretchen smiled.

"Dear," Mika said, "I googled everything, we didn't use anything poisonous to humans." Ryu took a second look at the food with that.

"It's OK, but you haven't lived till you have had rat roast over a fire. My mom does it best." Gretchen's ears drooped.

"Feeling a little homesick?" Mika asked.

"No, I am excited about my adventure in this new land." Gretchen said as much to herself as to others, her ears perked up half-heartedly.

"It's OK to be homesick sweety, it's only natural." Mika put a hand on her charge's shoulder.

"Thank you." Gretchen smiled softly.

Smoke and screams filled the tunnels, punctuated by the occasional thunder of gunfire, room by room the invaders slaughtered goblins. Most of them had swords and spears, but a few had guns. No ambush, no trap, nothing slowed them, methodically they cut the goblins down. A handful of males ran with Gretchen into the fallback room with weapons out, ready to help. They stopped short, the bodies of the young and old littered the floor. They were too late.

"They are coming back!" A goblin ran into the room, his armor soaked with his own blood.

"The Chieftess?" Crag, the eldest of the males asked as he caught the staggering goblin.

"Dead!, all dead, Gretchen is the last female!" He managed. Crag sat the dying goblin down and turned his one good eye to Gretchen.

"I am sorry Mistress." He said with a heavy heart. "Zoot, take Gretchen and run, don't stop, whatever she says don't stop!" He said to the biggest of the goblins.

"What?" Gretchen said as Zoot scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder. Two other goblins pulled a tapestry out of the way revealing a rough tunnel beyond. "No! No!" She shouted as Zoot ran down the tunnel with her. As soon as they were clear Crag pulled a rope, pulling a support free and collapsing the entry to the tunnel.

It seemed like forever that Zoot ran with her. They were now on the surface. Finally, he stopped and let her down. As her feet touched the ground she began to run back to the den.

"Come on Zoot, We got to go back, we have to save them, Zoot, come on." She turned back to see the goblin slumped in the dirt. "No, No, No!" She hurried to his side. "Get up, get up!" She tried to pull him to his feet, but he only fell limply to the ground. She rolled him onto his back. Injured and exhausted, the goblin had given his last to get her away. Overcome, she collapsed onto his chest and cried.

Some time later, Gretchen awoke, the sun was high in the sky and Zoot's body was cold and stiff. Someone was coming. An old man in worn clothes walked along the bank of a small river near them. She drew her sword and ran at the man. As she charged him the man made no action. She stopped, brandishing her weapon. But she might as well have been trying to scare a mountain.

"Attack me if you will, I will take no action to defend myself against you." The man said calmly in Goblin. "Strike me down if you wish, but it won't bring anyone back."

"Why? I'm a Goblin, I'm a monster, Fight me!" She shouted.

"No." He said calmly.

"Fight me!" She lunged at the man, he did not flinch as her blade nicked his arm.

"No." He paid no mind to the red stain growing on his sleeve.

"Why?" Gretchen sobbed, falling to her knees. "Why do we have to kill each other?" Her large yellow eyes were full of tears.

"Good question little one." The man knelt down and held his hand out. Even as she did it she did not know why she did, but she handed him her sword. "You don't need this anymore." he tossed the blade into the river. "A day's travel upstream, you will find a camp, a camp of people from a faraway land. Don't let them leave without you." He wiped away a tear on her cheek. "Go, you have a lot to do." He rose to leave.

"Who are you?" She looked up to him.

"Just a dreamer little one, just a dreamer."

It had been an exciting day and she hadn't slept any that noon, so it was nearly dawn when Gretchen awoke. She climbed out of the den she had made under the bed wearing one of Mrs Mika's t shirts as a nightgown. Her yellow eyes were almost all pupil, taking in all the light they could, allowing her to see perfectly in the dim predawn light. She sat on the bed. It was indeed soft, but she had no idea how humans could be comfortable sleeping out in the open like that. She prefered the cozy space under it. Mrs Mika had insisted she put a futon under the bed to sleep on. Gretchen was glad she had; it was much softer than the mats she had used at home.

She reached into her duffel and pulled out a comb made of bone and engraved with a spider. She began trying to tame the under-the-bed-head she had awoken with and looked around the room. A bed, a dresser, a desk, and a wardrobe fit comfortably in the modest room. They were all from a place called Sweden and you put them together with a key, according to Mr Ryu. They were also made for humans and made Gretchen feel quite small. Mrs Mika had offered to help with it, but Gretchen had said no, and it was something that she was going to have to get used to.

Satisfied that she had tamed her red mass of hair enough she set her comb down and jumped down off the bed. She slipped out the door into the hallway beyond. Her bare feet made no sound on the wood floors as she made her way through the apartment. Her eyes were still dominated by large black pupils, her ears alert and twitching searching for sounds. As she passed the sliding glass door in the kitchen she was caught by surprise by the rising sun and had to shield her eyes. A moment for her eyes to adjust and she lowered her hands to watch with yellow eyes with normal pupils. She sighed, the morning was halfway gone already.

But the humans won't be active for a while still, so she watched the sunrise quietly, enjoying a calm that was so rare in a goblin's life. No young crying, no males vying for her attention, no giant spiders trying to eat her, no heroes crashing into her home, nothing but silence and the warm sunlight spreading into the house bathing her in it's welcoming embrace.

"Morning Gretchen," Mika greeted, her eyes full of sleep, "Hope you weren't too bored by yourself." She stretched as she entered the kitchen. She wore a blue flannel nightgown and had already put her thick glasses on. "I got classes to teach today and Ryu has work, so you can stay here, or you can come with me and sit in on my classes. Normally it's against the rules, but I got the Dean's permission. 'Interspecies cooperation and coexistence' and all that. I don't know if you will be able to catch up and understand everything, but at least you can meet some humans your own age." Mika opened a cabinet and took the coffee grounds out. "Wait, Just how old are you anyway?" She set the canister on the counter.

"Twenty winters," Gretchen answered as she climbed up one of the bar stools and sat at the little peninsula of counter that separated the kitchen area from the dining area. Her legs swung below her, well above the crossbeam most people rested their feet on.

"As far as goblins go, how old is that?" Mika measured some grounds out into the machine.

"For a female, young adult. For a male, very old." Gretchen watched as Mika set up the coffee machine. As soon as she pressed the start button and the black liquid started pouring into the pot Gretchen caught a whiff of it. "Oo, That's how you make coffee? Can I have some?"

"Ok, one cup, I don't want you wired today, since you'll have to sit still and be quiet during class. That is if you want to come?" Mika turned to see that Gretchen had discovered the barstool swivel and was spinning around.

"Oh yes! I would love to see school!" Gretchen stopped herself with the counter. "I'll be still and quiet, I'm good at that." The barstool brought her up to eye level with her hostess. Gretchen had on her best trustworthy face; it wasn't very good.

"Good, now let me show you my favorite thing to do to coffee. Ryu likes it black, but I prefer it with a little chocolate syrup." Mika put the squeeze bottle and two mugs on the counter.

A few minutes later Ryu entered the kitchen to find the two women drinking coffee and eating dry strawberry toaster waffles at the counter. Having a guest in the house, he had thrown on a t-shirt with his usual sweatpants. "I see Mika has introduced you to her coffee heresy," he said as he poured himself a cup.

"I love heresy!" Gretchen said raising her mug in one hand and holding half a toaster waffle in the other. She turned to Mika. "I thought you said it was Hershey's syrup?"

"It is. Heresy is a belief that is contrary to accepted religious teachings." She took a bite of her own waffle. "And no, coffee is not a religion. Ryu was making a joke."

"Oh.-" She took another sip of her chocolate syrup coffee- "I still like it."

"What's the plan today?" Ryu put some bread into the toaster.

"I'm taking her to school and later we'll get her a couple changes of clothes." Mika spun around to face her husband. "We may eat out so you'll be on your own for dinner."

"Oh? I'll make calamari then." He gave his wife a quick kiss. "Mom's recipe."

"Ew, Have fun eating your rubbery squid." She swiveled back to the counter.

The morning sun was warm and the campus was in the full throes of spring. Young men and women littered the grounds, some rushing to class, some studying, some visiting, and even one taking a nap under a tree. A few even stopped to stare at a goblin girl walking with the anthropology professor.

"This is the Ueda mall," Mika said, in full tour mode, "It is popular with students. To the north is Ito library, and to the south is Oshiro hall. It houses the student union, cafeteria, bookstore, and some general classrooms. And here is . . ." she continued explaining as she walked. Gretchen's head was on a swivel trying to take it all in. They traversed the campus and twisted and winded around several buildings until they came to an old brick building covered in vines and tucked behind another hall. "And this is Nakahara Hall, home of the Anthropology department." Mika concluded.

"Is this where you teach?" Gretchen asked, her ears alert with excitement.

"Mostly. I do have a class over in Oshiro hall due to scheduling conflicts, but yes, this is where I work." Mika opened the door. "Let's stop by my office and get you ready and get to class. We don't have a lot of time." A few minutes later Gretchen was armed with a fresh notebook and a couple of number 2 pencils. A dozen students were already milling about the room when they entered.

"Dr Kato," a tall girl in the front row greeted them, "Is this...? Did you get approved to be a host family?" The girl got out of her desk, she was a good half head taller than Mika.

"Yes Nori, this is Gretchen;- she is staying with me for a while,-" Mika introduced her charge, "Gretchen, this is Nori, one of my students."

"Hi!" Gretchen piped up, extending a hand enthusiastically, "I won't bite, I've been told not to." She smiled.

"Well, hi there." Nori took the offered hand. "My, you're cute." She then corrected, "Oh, Sorry, I didn't mean it like that, not like a kid or anything. Like an adult, you are obviously an adult," the tall girl squirmed verbally.

"Well yes, I am." Gretchen said, unconsciously sticking her chest out to emphasize her breasts. "Thank you."

"OK," Mika said, "Nori, Gretchen is going to watch some of my classes to see what human school is like. Will you help her?"

"Sure!" the girl responded eagerly. "I'll be happy to."

"Good, let's get started," Mika said as more students were starting to file into the room. "Gretchen, sit next to Nori and do what she does, OK?"

"Right!" Gretchen answered.

Everyone took their seats and class started. Gretchen did her best to mimic Nori as the class went on. Mika was amazed; the excitable goblin was calm and focused the whole lesson. She started to fidget as the time wore on, but she was able to last until Mika excused her students. She almost leapt out of her seat as the students began to file out of the room. She trotted up to Mika with built up energy. Nori went to leave, but decided against it.

"That is such a good idea," Gretchen said, "Writing what you say on the wall. I learned to write a lot of words today." She smiled, holding out her notebook. Mika adjusted her glasses and examined the pages. They were filled with crude markings, peppered with Japanese characters and words.

"Goblin?" Mika pointed to one of the unfamiliar marks.

"Yes, I can't write in Japanese much yet," Gretchen said apologetically.

"Gretchen," Nori asked, "Want to come to lunch with me and a couple friends?" She got up from the desk and was gathering her things.

"Oh, I would like that a lot, but I have to stay with Mrs Mika," Gretchen said.

"Go ahead. I'll eat at another table; I have to do some reading anyway today," Mika approved.

The cafeteria occupied half the ground floor of the Student Union. Round tables to fit four to eight diners were scattered through the room, half already occupied by students. Nori and Gretchen entered through the large glass doors leading to the mall outside.

"Why would you ride a giant spider if they want to eat you?" Nori asked her small friend as they entered.

"That's the point," Gretchen answered. "If you are a Spider Rider you are one of the quickest and the smartest of the tribe. Also, we can use the spiders to protect the tribe if we can ride them." The pair traversed the room, winding the way between tables to the serving line. Mika followed them, carefully listening to Gretchen's story and making a mental note to investigate this Spider Rider ritual more.

"Nori!" a male voice called. A young man with an overstuffed bookbag trotted up to them. "Oh my, what, I mean who is your friend?" he said when he reached them. He sat down the straining bag with a dull thud.

"Hi!" The small green girl held out her hand. "I'm Gretchen, a goblin." She smiled her best smile. The young man couldn't help but stare at the mouth full of sharp teeth.

"Hi, um, I'm Isoa," he cautiously took her hand and shook it. "Wow, I didn't think goblins looked like this. You're cute."

"Thanks. What do you think I should look like?" Gretchen tilted her head, one of her ears dipping in curiosity.

"One second." Isoa opened his poor bookbag and dug around. He pulled out a book and began flipping through it's pages. "Like this:" He presented a page to Gretchen and she looked at the illustration.

"Oh, that's a goblin male, silly." Gretchen tried not to giggle. "What kind of book is this?"

"It's for an RPG, a game, and it was written before people knew mon-, um non-humans existed," Isoa said awkwardly.

"Gretchen is staying with Dr Kato," Nori interjected, "She is having lunch with us. Where is Yumi?" She looked around the room.

"I'm here," came from behind her. Nori turned to see a short girl in black with a pink streak in her shoulder length black hair. "A goblin? Doesn't sound too scary to me. But I like the teeth."

"Gretchen, this is Yumi; she likes monsters," Nori said, "Um, non-humans. Yumi, this is Gretchen."

"Actually we are all monsters," Yumi said flatly. "Humans are probably the worst ones."

"Oh, you guys are!" Gretchen agreed. "Why do you think we ride the giant spiders? To keep the humans away."

"OK, I like her." Yumi did what passed for a smile for her. "Are we going to eat or what?" The four entered the serving line.

"Italian today! I like it when we go ethnic," Isoa said as he took a tray of spaghetti. "What do goblins eat anyway." He turned back to the group.

"We eat anything that doesn't try to eat us, and for those things we have spears and we eat them anyway. Mom makes a mean rat."

"Oh, so rat is good?" Nori asked as she took her tray.

"Yes, but I meant that they are mean, they are one of the things we have spears for." Gretchen took her tray and examined its contents with curiosity. She dipped her finger into the red sauce and then into her mouth. "I like it." She said after she removed her finger. Isoa turned red and looked away for some reason.

"It's not bad," Yumi said as she took her tray. "Can we sit away from the windows? It's awfully bright today." They paid and then found a small table. Isoa sat down his engorged bag with another dull thud. They bellied up to the table and dug in. Gretchen was making a bit of a mess as she ate her spaghetti. Soon she was mimicking the others and having better luck by twirling it on her fork. With a messy smiling face she watched as Nori told them about her spider riding story. Nori tried several times to pass the storytelling on to Gretchen, but she kept passing it back. It was more fun to watch her retell it. A couple of times she saw Isoa looking at her, but he turned away as soon as she made eye contact. As long as he didn't try to bite her she didn't mind, there is no harm in looking.

All too soon they had to go to their respective classes, but not before Nori gave Gretchen a slip of paper. "I hope to see you in class, but feel free to text me." She smiled and waved as she headed out the glass doors into the mall.

"I have two more classes to teach, but I imagine you are tired," Mika said. "Want to take a nap in my office?" She handed Gretchen another napkin and Gretchen wiped her face again.

"Yes, It would be nice to sleep normally today," the goblin yawned.

By the time Gretchen awoke and peeked her head out from under Mika's desk, both of her classes were over and she was silently grading papers at the small table that was also in her office.

"Ah, you're awake. Want to go shopping?" Mika closed her binder and shoved it and the papers into her bag.

"Yes, Mrs Mika. Are you sure it's OK? You don't have to buy me stuff." She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and pulled the blanket from under the desk.

"Oh, Ms Smith said there is a small budget to help with stuff like that. They will pay me back if I keep the receipts. And dear, while those clothes are cute, you really can't wear them every day." She took the offered blanket from Gretchen, quickly folded it and tossed it on the small couch that was the final piece of furniture in the room. "Come on, let's get going. I am ready to have a bit of fun."

A few minutes later, the pair had wound their way across campus again and were walking down a downtown street. Mika stopped in front of a shop. "Ok, lets start inside and work our way out. You need a bra."

"Bra?" Gretchen looked up inquisitively at her host, her ears did that one up and one down thing.

"Well, it. . ." Mika motioned with her hands under her own modest bust as if supporting them, "It keeps them from bouncing around, trust me, you need one." Mika was glad the goblin was so endowed; they helped remind her as she looked at the small girl that she was indeed grown up and not a child.

"Oh, sounds great! What I wore back home supported them quite well." She looked down at herself. "But they said I shouldn't wear it, said I looked like I was going to attack someone." She shrugged. "Can't blame them, we go for that."

"Goblin life sounds violent," Mika said.

"Well, the violence is more personal where I come from." Gretchen twisted her face in a thoughtful manner as they entered the shop. A few minutes later Mika was standing outside of a dressing room, her arms loaded with discarded bras.

"Are you sure none of these fit?" She said to the door. "These are the smallest in the shop."

"Mrs Mika," The door opened and Gretchen's head popped out. "Not how you said they should. They just don't make them for me." From the other fitting room came a voice.

"My cousin has a problem like that." The voice said through the door. "Here." Over the top of the door a hand reached, holding a card. "It's not far, try here." Ms Mika took the offered card.

"Um, Thanks?" Mika said.

"Don't mention it, give the lady the card, they give a referral prize every month."

"Ah, here we are." Mika stopped in front of a small shop. "Kimi's Custom Delicates," she read the sign. A bell chimed at the pair entered the shop. A couple of women were sorting through fabric swaths and chatting with each other about how this one or that one felt or looked. A chubby middle aged woman wearing an apron with a logo that matched the sign out front approached them.

"Welcome to my shop, I'm Mrs Kimi. . . oh my, I haven't had one of you in here yet." She stood back taking Gretchen in. "I've had a centaur, a squid girl, a couple of girls with wings, but not a, don't tell me, gremlin?" she guessed.

"Goblin, ma'am." Gretchen corrected, "Gremlins are about half my size and they have big ears." She held her hands out a good six inches past where her own impressive set ended.

"Ah, well come on in. Let me get my tape measure and I'll get you taken care of." Kimi motioned them back to a small curtained off area. Mika handed her the card and the lady tucked it into her apron pocket. "Thanks, Now if you will step right in here and take your shirt off I'll be right in and we will get your measurements taken." Gretchen was distracted by a rack of bras on the way. "Measurements first Miss, then you can browse all you want." She held the curtain open. Gretchen entered the area and Kimi let the curtain fall closed.

"You get a lot of non humans in here?" Mika asked as she looked at a rack. Maybe they have something in her size. These are nice.

"Oh, I wouldn't say a lot, but several," Kimi said as she gathered her tape and a note pad. "Most of the ladies I help need alterations or just have a lot to support, but if you are not human and can't buy on off the rack, I am your best chance in town. You wouldn't think it, but there are a few non-humans in town nowadays." She stopped at the curtain. "OK Miss, I'm coming in. It's alright, we are all women here." She slipped in discreetly with a practiced ease.

It took just long enough to tempt Mika into picking up a nice little bra for herself before Gretchen was exiting the curtain with her shirt back on. "OK, I'm going to have to scratch build this, so I think the first one should be simple," Mrs Kimi said. "Do you have a color in mind? Maybe a yellow, I think it will look good with your complexion and bring out your eyes."

"But"—Gretchen tilted her head—"I will be wearing clothes over it?"

"Ah Miss, that's no excuse for it to not look pretty. How about if I make it like this?" She picked a yellow bra with a simple lace pattern on the cups up off a rack on the wall. Gretchen took the offered delicate and examined it.

"Yes, I would like one of these in my size." The quite average size bra looked quite oversized as she held it up to herself. Mika and the seamstress had a quick discussion of price and a small deposit was put down.

"OK, Gretchen, it'll be a few days, but she said she will try her best to get it done quickly, seeing as you don't have one," Mika said as they left the shop.

"Thank you Mrs Mika. Where next?" Gretchen halfway skipped along.

"Oh, the rest should be relatively easy, maybe a bit of alteration. The hard part will be finding stuff that doesn't make you look like a kid." For two hours the pair dug through the shops and managed to put together two outfits for Gretchen. One had pants, something that Mika insisted on, but Gretchen did not understand. The last shop was too much for Gretchen and Mika noticed it. As they left she decided two outfits were enough for now.

"Dinner?" Mika asked as they exited the shop with their spoils.

"Yes! Mrs Mika." Gretchen perked up.

"Do you like fish?" Mika adjusted her bag. "Do you mind if it's raw?"

"Oh, that is the best kind. I like to eat it right out of the stream." Gretchen's smile full of sharp teeth punctuated the point.

"Well, let's get some sushi," Mika announced and the pair headed off.

The door to the apartment opened and the light poured out into the evening. A goblin girl was chatting on about how she loved sushi and a wife called into the apartment. "Honey, Hope you didn't fill up on fried rubber hose! I brought you an eel roll."

"What are you two playing?" Mika came into her cozy living room to find her husband Ryu on the couch and Gretchen seated on a pillow on the floor. Both were staring at the TV and holding controllers. The room was dimly lit only by the light from the screen.

"We're hiding from zombies," Gretchen whispered loudly, "We made this dirt hut just before night came and I can hear them moaning outside." Gretchen was very 'in character' for a game with such blocky low resolution graphics.

"We have wood swords and pickaxes, we could go mining," Ryu said.

"Wooden swords? You mean 'sticks?'" Gretchen whispered over her shoulder. She was moving her block man back and forth trying to peer out the window in the door and see the zombie she was hearing.

"Let's go mining, we need ore to make real weapons, and it is a while till the sun comes up." Ryu's block man started digging a hole in the floor of their tiny earth block hut. "Now you have the torches from the chest? Put them on the wall every so often so we can see." The two block people began to delve into the narrow passage carved by Ryu's wooden shovel and pickaxe.

"Well, you two don't play too long, I don't want to be responsible for creating the first goblin couch potato." Mika pulled a few choice texts from the bookcases lining the walls and slipped out towards her bedroom. The small study that they had once shared was now housing a homestay goblin exchange student, so Mika had her text and papers spread out over the bed. She climbed up into bed with them and put her small lap desk and laptop into position. She returned to her laptop and typed:

An Anthropologist's Guide to Non-Human Peoples: Goblins

Dr. Mika Kato

Basic Anatomy of Goblin Society

Eighty percent of a goblin tribe consists of the males, roughly 120 cm or 4 feet tall and 23 Kg or 50 lbs in weight. Goblin males are not particularly smart, but are quite clever and work well in groups. Males mature within four years and live to be about twenty-five. They are lead by the strongest and most clever males, but automatically default to the females of the tribe when they are present.

Most of the remaining twenty percent of the tribe are the females. The same size as the males, the females are hyper intelligent and learn things about as quickly as they can be exposed to them. They mature slowly, taking almost 20 years to mature and live lifespans similar to those of humans. The leaders of the tribe, the females handle most of the planning and advanced crafting. They do participate in the fighting when things are desperate or when they believe the tactics needed are beyond the male's' ability.

The rarest of the goblins are the Hobgoblins, numbering only one to three per tribe. These large lumbering goblinoids are 180 cm or 6 ft tall and 130 Kg or 300 Lbs. They possess a simple intelligence and are loyal to the goblins around them, almost slavishly to the females. When the tribe is low on hobgoblins, one of the males in the tribe will start to grow larger until he becomes a full-fledged Hobgoblin. Hobgoblins are believed to be sterile as they stop trying to woo females.

Goblins are bisexual, both the males and the females participate in homosexual and hetrosexual relationships for companionship, love, and group bonding. Hetrosexual sex is largely for the propragation of the tribe and the females pick the best of the males for the task. To prevent inbreeding, neighboring tribes allow adolescent males to wander amongst them, eventually settling in the tribe that best fits them. The sterile Hobgoblins rarely have sex.

About 10 percent of any tribe are Spider Riders. These individuals have learned how to ride the wild Giant Spiders, a challenge considering these spiders like to eat goblins. This serves as a point of honor and enables the tribe to use the spiders for combat when deemed necessary. Hobgoblins can't ride the spiders, but retain the clout if they were a Spider Rider before their change.

Two weeks living with Gretchen had garnered Mika a notebook full of bits and pieces and a second one of questions, but these few paragraphs were more than the rest of humanity knew about goblins. Academic articles were important, and necessary for her job, but something mainstream would help understanding a lot more. People have begun to study the flashy non-humans, she had read papers both academic and mainstream on Lamias and Centaurs, but almost nothing is known about goblins and many of the other 'unsavory' non-humans.

It would take a lot more work before she had something worthy of publishing at all, but she had to get words on the screen. She was still pecking away when Ryu came to bed.

"I can sleep on the couch if you need me to." He motioned to the papers on the bed.

"No Honey, I wouldn't make you do that, and besides, I need to sleep too. Did you guys win?" She began to police up her notes.

"Oh, that game doesn't end, it's a sandbox game. But we survived and now have metal weapons and tools. I normally get that far faster, but I want to let Gretchen enjoy discovering things, since it is her first time." He slipped out of his clothes and into his usual sweatpants. "I think we need to get her out of the house more, she's getting stir crazy at night. It's only a matter of time before she makes up another game to play in the back yard and scares the neighbors."

"It's her back yard too, she can play in it when she wants." Mika was finishing clearing the bed off. "She wasn't making any noise or anything."

"I think that made it all the worse. Try explaining to the police that she was only practicing hiding in the bushes and she was not up to anything." Ryu got into the bed. "I'm not saying she can't be who she is, but she has to find a way to do it here. And it's our job to help her."

"Remember when I took her clothes shopping? Well, the lady at the bra shop said there are other non-humans in town. It got me thinking. Maybe we need to find them and form a support group. Pool resources, share experiences, generally help each other out. I doubt there are other goblins, but some student or host may be able to help." Mika set the lap desk beside the bed.

"I see, and you can write about them too?" Ryu smiled knowingly at his wife.

"Well, if I happen to learn something, it is my responsibility and job to write about it."

Meanwhile, in the dark living room, a tone sounded and the room lit up with the glow of the tablet on the coffee table. Swiftly and silently Gretchen darted in and swiped her finger across the screen. The message was from Nori: "Need to take a study break, can you talk?"

"Yes." Gretchen typed in as she plugged the earbuds into the device and put one in each of her large expressive ears. Nori's face appeared on the screen.

"Hi, Gretchen, I've got something exciting I have found out." Somewhere the connection was not so good so Nori's lips and voice were off like that dubbed movie they watched the other day.

"What is it?!" Gretchen's ears perked up in anticipation. "Is it as good as coffee heresy?" she anted up.

"It's as good as coffee heresy on ice!" Nori raised.

"Ooo, I don't know," Gretchen called.

"Ok, here it is: I have been reading the Interspecies Exchange law with a pre-law student in my Econ class. We think there is a way you can hang out with us without having to drag Dr Kato around."

"If you can do that it would be as good as coffee heresy with ice cream!" A big smile on her face and her heart was racing. Gretchen loved Mrs Mika, and liked being around her, but it was like having to drag her mother around with her wherever she went. "How do we do that?"

"Well, you have not been in the country long enough for a day pass, but you could go out if you are with another non-human who has finished their homestay," Nori said proudly. "A non-human can have one non-human guest with them, and if that non-human can be about without a host, it works. My classmate talked it over with a professor of his, and he agrees."

"Oh, Nori, I could bite you!" Gretchen bounced up and down with the tablet. Nori looked away from her phone to avoid getting motion sick. "But do you know a non-human who has finished their homestay?" She stopped moving with the realization.

"No, but I bet we can find one. It's not perfect, but it is a plan." The tall girl smiled apologetically into her phone.

"Thank you Nori, Now I just need to figure out what I am going to do here." Gretchen pondered. "There seems to be no call for anything I am good at in the human world. I'm getting worried." Her ears drooped as her expression deflated.

"It's only been two weeks, You don't have to figure that out right this moment." Nori assured her friend. "Educate yourself, that is your job now. And remember, you are not alone. We are with you." She smiled on the screen.

"You are all good to me, but I can't help but feel a little lonely, I don't know why." The goblin shrugged.

"It's ok to feel that way." Nora replied. "My first week of college felt like that. I have to go, big test in the morning and I still have to get some sleep. Take care, and see you in class."

"Night," Gretchen wished her friend. The conversation ended and Gretchen found herself alone. The humans have been great to her, but something within her hungered, ached for something, and she did not know what.

Something woke Mika, she looked to the clock on the nightstand, it was two in the morning. She started when she saw two large yellow eyes next to the bed.

"What is it?" Ryu woke and turned on the lamp revealing the goblin girl standing next to their bed. Gretchen winced and covered her eyes.

"Gretchen, what are you doing?" Mika asked setting up in bed. The goblin lowered her hands, her eyes having adjusted to the light. Her large yellow eyes were red and puffy. A couple of times she opened her mouth as if to say something, but each time words failed her and she closed it in defeat.

"Are you OK?" Mika asked. The goblin lowered her head and pressed it against Mika's chest. Unsure, Mika raised her hand and stroked the goblins hair. She reminded herself this was a young woman, not a child she was comforting. "Gretchen, do you need to talk?"

"No." Came a muffled answer from the goblin. "No talk, Touch."

"Shh, Ok, ok, take as long as you need." Mika wrapped her arms around the goblin's head. Mika did not know how long they were like that, but eventually Gretchen silently slipped out of her arms and climbed under their bed. For a moment Mika and Ryu looked at each other.

"I'll get a futon for her." Ryu got out of the bed to fetch one out of the hall closet.

Art by PoroSnacks:

"Mrs Kimi, I require an additional set of undergarments," came the smooth melodious voice. The plump proprietess of Kimi's Delicates knew who it was before she looked up.

"Of course Miss Galatea, what are you looking for today." Kimi looked up from her work at the tall thin young woman who stood before her. As always, she wore a long dress that was conservative and flattering at the same time. Her long blonde hair was almost white and her skin was unbelievably fair. She had graceful pointed ears peeking out through her silky hair. Miss Galatea was one of the customers who could buy off the rack, but preferred the luxury of custom.

"Well," the elf blushed lightly and looked around, "I was wanting to try a dress that is off the shoulders, so something strapless?"

"Oh, I bet it'll look wonderful on you! I'll get some samples gathered, why don't you look at the swaths." Mrs Kimi motioned to the tables filled with small samples of fabrics. The elf simply nodded and almost glided across the shop. Before the seamstress could gather three sample strapless bras, the bell signaled another customer through the door. "Welcome, I'll be with you in a minute," she called as she examined two bras trying to decide which was classy enough for the elf.

"Ma'am, I have a question for you." Mika approached the proprietess with a small stack of fliers in her hand. Gretchen wove her way through the racks, only halfway paying attention to their wares.

"What can I help you with?" Kimi turned to the new customer.

"You said you know of some non-humans who come to your shop. I am trying to form a group to help exchange students and host, so I was wondering if you could help me find them." She offered forth the stack of fliers. As the shopkeeper was about to take them, they both started as the shop was filled with screaming. Two voices: a melodic tone that made a shout of fear a work of art, and a second high pitch shrill which was interspersed with what could only be swear words in a very ugly and grumbly language. Both women dashed deeper into the shop towards the ruckus.

The Goblin and the Elf stood on opposite sides of the swath table screaming. As quickly as it started, the shouting stopped and both jumped back from the table. Galatea took up a stance implying self defense training, and Gretchen bared her teeth and tried to make herself look as big and imposing as possible. The two shouted at each other in their own languages, the ugly and grumbly goblin sparing with the beautiful song like elven. Before Mika could speak the plump shopkeeper took command of the situation.

"Both of you knock it off!" she shouted, "There won't be any fighting in my shop!" The two stood silent for a long second, then stood down and at the same time they pleaded.

"But it's a (goblin/elf), they are (disease ridden vermin/snooty bullies)," the two said together pointing at the other.

"I don't care, you both are going to have to play nice if you want to shop here." She crossed her arms to punctuate her ultimatum. The two adversaries deflated at the same time.

"My apologies Proprietess, habits from the homeland die hard. Please forgive me," the elf said solemnly and bowed.

"Sorry," Gretchen said softly giving the shopkeeper her best apologetic smile.

"No blood, no foul," the woman said, "Now, Miss Galatea, let's talk about your options. I'll be with you two in a moment." She ushered the elf away from the goblin and towards a the changing area to talk.

"What was that?" Mika asked her small friend, "Are you OK?"

"Ya, sorry," Gretchen looked up to her, "but back home goblins and elves fight a lot, it's just reflex." She inhaled and held it for a moment trying to calm her heart. "Wait, where is her host?" The goblin's yellow eyes scanned the shop.

"I don't know, maybe she has completed her homestay?" Mika asked.

"It would have to be an elf, wouldn't it?" Gretchen said to the ceiling and no one in particular, "Why an elf?"

Galatea concluded her business and placed her order with Mrs Kimi and went to leave the shop.

"Mistress Elf, a word?" Gretchen called after the tall beauty as she neared the door. The elf stopped and looked to the goblin. Her eyes cautious.

"Yes, Goblin?" Even in Japanese, the word was not good upon elven lips.

"Sorry about earlier, we started badly." Gretchen took a deep breath and steadied herself. "Can we try anew?" the green girl said with a pleading face.

"Would it do any good?" Her regal face looked down at Gretchen, the eyes sad. "We are each what we are, we cannot deny our natures." She gave a slight soft smile. "I wish you no harm little one." She turned to leave.

"I'm not little!" Gretchen shouted, "I'm tall and leggy!" She stood defiantly.

"Really?" The tall elegant girl turned to the small green one. "I am sorry Mistress Goblin." Galatea could not help but smirk at the goblin's spunk. "I am Lady Galatea, and you are?"

"Gretchen, Rider of Spiders," the goblin said proudly.

"Then you are brave, or foolish." The elf's face was more approving than her words, "But undeniably skilled. Were we to meet back home who knows which would walk away."

"But you are in Japan, the human world," Mika interjected. "Hi, I am Dr Mika Kato, I'm Gretchen's host." She held out a hand.

"Greetings Doctor. A woman of learning is always a pleasure." The elf took the offered hand in hers. Mika felt small and common as they shook. "As I said to your young charge, I am Lady Galatea, it is a pleasure. I imagine she is a handful."

"And a pleasure as well." Mika offered her one of her handouts. "I understand you have completed your homestay?" The elf simply nodded in reply. "Well, I am trying to organize a group to educate and support the homestay students and host families alike. I know this doesn't apply to you, but you have a lot to offer those going through the system."

"I will consider," she took the offered sheet, "How many have you contacted so far?"

"You are the first, I am sorry to say," Mika said, "The program won't disclose the names and locations of students for privacy reasons, so I am on my own."

"May I have a few more of these?" She was scanning the flier. "I know a few places they like to go. Have you tried the health club run by the Kobolds? They are an industrious people, they have started several businesses catering to non-humans."

"Thanks," Mika handed half her stack to the elegant woman, "We will try the Kobold's health club."

"Do, and I will be in touch, Doctor Kato." The elf turned to leave. "And Mistress Goblin?"

"Yes?" Gretchen asked.

"You don't disappoint, Spider Rider. I will see you as well." She nodded her farewell and was out the door with her usual inhuman grace. For a moment the three in the shop shaking off the residual glamor of her presence.

"Oh, By the Great One's Ears! I almost got into a fight with an Elven Noble!" Gretchen exclaimed, "I thought the human world was safe! You guys let Elven Nobles just walk around?"

"We let you walk around," Mika said, "What does it matter who her parents are?" She approached the goblin. "You earned your title, Spider Rider."

"Yes, but elven nobles are notorious for pushing themselves to be the best, to deserve their title, and with hundreds of years to do it, they always do." The goblin was uncharastically serious.

"Let's try the health club she suggested." Mika put her hand on Gretchen's shoulder. "We can get a mocha on the way."

"Yay, Coffee Heresy!" the goblin cheered, her worries apparently forgotten. The pair waved their goodbyes to the seamstress and left the shop themselves.

In the little blue hybrid the two crossed town, following Mika's phone to the Kobold's Gym. Ryu had taken the bus to work today so the pair could have the car, as Mika had no idea how far and wide she would have to travel to find non-humans and their host families. It was a real hardship for him, being a traveling accountant he had several businesses he had to go to each day and process payroll and do other book work. But he offered, and Mika had to admit having the car was a great help on her quest.

"Are you really tall and leggy, for a goblin?" Mika asked as she drove.

"I like to think so," Gretchen took another drink of her frozen coffee heresy, "I had a girlfriend call me that."

"Good enough. Um, Do Goblins and Kobolds get along?" She wanted to stop any other problems before they started.

"Oh, They don't mind us if they think we have money. The elf thing is old history, but elves live forever so it's new to them." Gretchen looked down, her ears drooped. "Long ago, the stories tell, an exiled elven prince decided to take over the Elven lands to get his revenge, and he raised an army of orcs and goblins to do it. It wasn't our idea, it's not like us. I admit it, we can be pest sometimes, but no one really hates us. Well, no one except the elves."

"Things are often unfair," Mika said, "Grudges like that are not unheard of in the human world. Let's just say we all can get caught up in the fanfare and energy of nationalism and conquest." She reached over and scratched the goblin on her head. Mika would worry that the the goblin found the act patronizing if it was not for the fact she always leaned into the scratching and closed her eyes. Sometime she was just going to have to ask about goblin personal space, it seemed more complex than one would first think. Gretchen's ears perked back up.

"Oo, The lady in your phone says we are almost there."

Kobalt Gym was having a slow day. Wonderful weather after several days of clouds and rain had lured most of the members out to the parks and trails for their exercise. The owner and manager, a she-Kobold named Polt, stood outside so she could enjoy the day as well and still be said to be minding the shop. A non-human and a human approached and Polt perked up. Obviously this was an exchange student and her host, exactly the kind of people the Gym was built for.

"Welcome to Kobalt Gym!" She said at full energy, "I'm Polt, Are you looking to sign up?" She bounded down the steps to meet them.

"Oh hello," Mika was not expecting this kind of energy, "Actually, I was hoping you could help us with something." She presented her stack of flyers.

"We are looking for non-humans and their host!" Gretchen blurted out. "We want to make a group." She was feeding off the Kobalt's energy.

"Yes," Mika continued, "Something so we can help each other out, answer questions, share problems, generally support each other. I'm Dr Mika Kato, this is my homestay and friend, Gretchen." Mika motioned to her small companion.

"Hi!" The goblin smiled her toothy grin.

"Polt, pleased to meet you. I already said that didn't I?" She took one of the flyers Mika was offering. "And the exchange program people wouldn't help you?"

"No, they said there were privacy issues," Mika answered, "So we are on our own."

"Well, it sounds like a good idea. I imagine you want to post these?" The Kobold held up the flyer.

"Yes, it would be great if we could," Mika said and Gretchen nodded in agreement.

"Well, you can't. There is a problem with them." Polt made a serious face.

"I proofread them, and I'm quite good." Mika was confused.

"Another? How hard can you make a language? Even Elves don't have three ways to write! " Gretchen cried in desperation.

"It doesn't mention the organizational meeting with refreshments! You would be amazed how strong the mooch factor is with this crowd," Polt corrected them. Gretchen let out a disgruntled grunt. "Don't take it hard, I was just having a little fun with you," Polt soothed.

"I don't have money for that," Mika protested, as she looked down at Gretchen. "I admit it sounds like a great idea, but where would we even hold it?"

"Are we going to have chocolate coffee?" Gretchen was onboard. "And what about sushi?" The Kobold's fun was forgotten and the goblin had her usual grin back on. This proved to Mika even more the wisdom of Polt's suggestion.

"Come with me, I'll show you." Polt motioned them into the gym. They proceeded to wind their way through the large building, past the pools, past the indoor tracks, past the weight rooms, and finally they reached a hall with large windows looking into rooms for classes. A martial arts and a yoga class were in session. About a quarter of the students were not human. "We can have it here, in one of the classrooms. We have folding tables and chairs for stuff just like this."

"Really? That is nice of you, are you sure?" Mika wanted confirmation, this was going entirely too well.

"Yes, we like to help the community, we let clubs borrow the rooms for meetings when we are not using them. And besides, it is good business, I can get a lot of potential members walking past all our excellent facilities. It's bound to tempt some of them to join." She smiled at the thought.

"Yup," Gretchen shook her head and smiled, "That is a Kobold for you."

"Thank you," Polt simply said. "I don't know about food. Talk with Ms Smith, she might be able to help." She held out her hand. "So Dr Kato, does it sound like a plan? I'll provide the room, do my best to spread the news, and you get the food somehow."

"Yes it does." Mika took the offered paw like hand in hers.

"Good, now would you like a tour of our facilities?" Polt asked. Gretchen broke out laughing.

It was an apartment much like it's mistress: beautiful, elegant, and impeccable. Galatea walked in the door with her inhuman grace, barely breaking the stillness of the room. Her work for another day, she turned on an small MP3 player and deep, pure, instrumental music filled the room. She took a old worn book from the shelf and sat neatly on her couch. For a long, still time she sat, trying desperately to read, but never making it past the first page.

Something was wrong. She looked around the room. No, everything was in it's place. She thought back to her encounter at the undergarment shop. Despite all the anger, fear, and hatred that flashed through her at that moment, she had to admit she truly enjoyed discovering the goblin today.

Maybe it was the adrenaline, the thrill. She closed the book and rose to return it. She looked guiltily around the empty apartment and then took a handful of books off the shelf and reached behind them. She produced a small dog eared paperback: the reason she had come to the human world. She quickly took her seat and opened the book. She thumbed to a favorite downturned page and began to read. Her mind exploded with the adventure, the passion, the thrill, of two young star crossed lovers. For hours she sat, reliving her discovery of everything not elven, not calm, not secure, in short: human. When she finally closed the book again, the sun was fading in the windows, the day was spent. She felt a pang of guilt not having done anything useful this day, and carefully put the paperback back into its hiding spot.

She busied herself with preparing dinner, and then sat at the table to dine, alone.

The large classroom was full of bodies, roughly half of them non-human, and half of those were not your normal two arms, two legs, one head kind of people. Everyone was seated at long folding tables, or they crouched, or knelt, or whatever their anatomy allowed. Along the back wall of the room several tables of food lined the wall. Rice balls, meat balls, cheese balls, cheese, crackers, fruits and vegetables, and other assorted snack foods were out for all to take as they wished. Most of the people had a small paper plate of food with them. A low murmur of conversation filled the air as each set of homestay student and host family talked amongst themselves. A screeching sound broke the room as a chair was pushed up to the podium at the head of the room. A goblin climbed on top of the chair and took a deep breath.

"EVERYBODY LISTEN UP!" shouted Gretchen from on top the chair. The room went silent as all eyes were on her small form. Gretchen steadied herself. "Thanks!" she said. "I am Gretchen, and I'm a goblin, as you can see if you turn to page 13 of your Monster Manuals." Everyone in the room looked at the homemade booklets that were handed to them at the door. On page 13 there was a picture of Gretchen and a short entry on goblins, spoofing an entry in an RPG manual. "You will notice the other entries in the book are blank. We have a little game here tonight: everyone needs to put something in the other entries in the book. Doesn't have to be much, and you don't have to get them from a member of that species. In fact, we would prefer you would get some from their host. And to motivate you, we have some prizes tonight." At this, Polt walked up to the podium.

"I'm giving a free three months at the Gym to one host and homestay pair, tonight." The Kobalt held up a pair of envelopes. At this Agent Smith stood next to the podium.

"And I have here in my hand a day pass for one lucky homestay, giving them the freedom to be about town without their host for a day," Agent Smith said as she raised the pass in the hand not laden with a plate of food.

"If Mrs Mika and myself think you filled out your book well enough, your name goes into the bucket and we will draw the winners. Now, This is Mrs Mika, um, Dr Mika Kato if you want to be fancy. This is her thing." Gretchen jumped down and grabbed the chair, dragging it behind her as she left with another screeching sound. Mika took to the podium.

"Good evening everyone. As Gretchen said, I am Dr Mika Kato, and I would like to welcome you all to the organizational meeting for the Asaka area Interspecies Exchange Student and Host Group. Everyone here is involved in the Interspecies Exchange Program in some way, either as an exchange student, alumni, a host, or one of the facilitators of the program. The purpose of this group is to provide a network of support and resources to aid both the host and the students in our learning about each other and helping the students learn how to live in the human world." Mika decided she was being too academic and decided to bring it down a bit.

"OK," she said, "Hosts have jobs and students get bored at home, but every non-human is allowed to have a non-human guest with them, a provision meant to allow visiting family, but it also means a student could visit another and not get in trouble. We can also organize and pool resources for trips for educational and recreational purposes. Finally, some of us have been doing this longer than others, and they can answer questions many of us have. This is a big thing we are doing, it is not just so the students can live in the human world, but so that all people can live in this one world we are making. Now let's eat and get to know one another!" Mika felt good, a lot of the people in the room were nodding in agreement, and some were talking amongst themselves about what they wanted to do.

As the group began to mingle, some flipping through their monster manuals looking for the right entry, Galatea sat alone with a plate of sushi and a rice ball. She didn't belong here, she was done with the program, but she came anyway. She noticed the goblin girl saw her and stopped for a moment, then with a sense of purpose strode towards her.

"Hi," Gretchen said as she helped herself to the seat next to the elf. "Um, should I call you Lady?"

"That is not necessary, I am not acting in any official capacity here," Galatea stated. "I came to lend my expertise and experience to the program."

"I know they are not your host anymore, but you should have invited them to come, they could help too, and I bet you would love to visit with them again." Gretchen put her hand to her forehead. "What am I saying, you must see them all the time. You probably want to meet new people."

"I have not talked to the my host family since I graduated from the program," Galatea stated calmly.

"Oh?" The goblin tilted her head and did her inquisitive 'one ear up and one down'. "Oh!" She had a realization and both of her ears perked up, but as she did so, she began to realise what that meant. "Oh." Her ears drooped as did her expression. "Sorry, I didn't mean. . ."

"What did you not mean?" Galatea asked calmly.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Gretchen corrected as she put on the best smile she could.

Galatea stood in front of the home she had stayed in for her homestay with two suitcases and a trunk. "I would like to thank you all for your hospitality," Galatea said with a slight bow.

"Good luck at your job." Mrs Koizumi said. She then said to the tiny boy in her arms, "Say goodbye to Ms Galatea." The boy chattered something happily in baby talk that was so close to talking your brain kept trying to figure out the words. "Go ahead," Mrs Koizumi said. "Hold him, he will miss you." She offered the child to the tall elegant elf.

Galatea could not refuse and took the child. She looked at the boy and her heart broke as it did every time. Half of it still wanted to hold, to love, this small person with all her being. But the other half held her back, for she knew that in only a few decades this flower would grow, blossom, and wilt away. But she smiled despite herself, a bittersweet smile, but one nonetheless.

"I will miss you too little one," Galatea said, her voice calm.

"Oh, don't get all mushy on us, Ms Galatea." Mrs Koizumi smiled warmly. "Have you told that neighbor boy you are leaving yet? You are running out of time, might want to go to his house now," she warned.

"Well, Mrs Kozumi, I. . .I" The elf's mind raced. Osamu was a nice person, the times they had met on the street were pleasant, in fact she had found herself finding excuses to do so. "The cab will be here at any time, I don't want to make him wait," she covered for herself.

"OK, but if he asks, can I give him your number?" the human woman asked. She had always pictured herself something of a match maker.

"That would be acceptable," Galatea said as she handed the child back to his mother.

"Ms Galatea, you know where to find us. Good luck," Mr Koizumi said as the cab pulled up. Her belongings were loaded into the van and everyone waved to her as the vehicle pulled away. Ahead of her lay a new life in the human world, an apartment, a good job, all made possible by her homestay.

"Why didn't he call?" Galatea asked softly.

"Hum?" Gretchen said. The goblin was still seated next to her and was now eating a teriyaki chicken kabob and making a mess of herself in doing so. "You want a bite?" She offered the kabob to Galatea.

"Why would I want to eat after you?" The elf pushed the offering away.

"Pph! Because if it's good enough for me to eat, it is good enough for me to share. It's common courtesy," Gretchen said taking a bite of the kabob.

"Goblin courtesy is no courtesy at all," the elf without thinking. The goblin stopped chewing.

"That's low," Gretchen said as she got up from the table to leave. She started away when she heard from behind her.

"Yes it was." The elf's voice was soft in the noisy room, but it carried to the goblin's ears. "I guess we can't change who we are," she sadly resolved. With this Gretchen turned and confronted the elf.

"Do we have to? What is wrong with Goblins and Elves?" Gretchen asked.

Galatea watched from the gallery with the others at the spectacle before them. A more mature, but in no way old version of Galatea stood close to her, comforting her with a hand on her shoulder. A lone goblin woman in chains stood before the Queen of the elves in all her splendor. She stood in her armor, helm off, her crown upon her head.

"So, Jirka Spider Rider," the Queen said in elvish to the goblin before her. "Your clan is finished, your males dead, your remaining females in chains. What do you have to say for your tribes crimes against the elves?"

"Our only crime is not killing more elves," the she-goblin said in rough elvish with a grin on her face.

"How dare you!" the Queen snarled. "Filthy beast, I see no reason to suffer your life any longer. I order the prisoners to be beheaded immediately to insure the security of the Elven nation!" At this declaration the people in the gallery cheered their beloved queen on. During the distraction the Goblin twisted free of the collar and threw herself at the Queen. The guards saw, but did not move, sensing an almost imperceptible cue from their Queen. With a clean stroke of her sword, she dispatched the goblin leader casually.

As everyone cheered their Queen again, Galatea said softly to her mother. "It doesn't bring Father back."

"No, but they can't do it to anyone else." She comforted her daughter.

"Leave me be goblin, it is for the best," Galatea said turning back to the table.

"Fine!" Gretchen spat. "But is the problem Goblins and Elves, or the people who happen to be Goblins and Elves?" She stalked off to the buffet to commit coffee heresy. Galatea pointedly did not look behind her, and made a great show of casually eating her sushi.

Around her the meeting was going quite well. New contacts and perhaps a few new friends were made as people played the icebreaker game Mika and Gretchen had come up with. Galatea watched on as a Sphinx and a programmer met up and began talking excitedly about setting up a website with forums for the group. She could not help but be jealous of the young Sphinx as she excitedly discussed ideas with the young man. His homestay, a Naga gauging by the complexion and the long snake tail for legs, laughed to a Satyr about his 'geeking out'. Two small children, one with wings for arms, played with a balloon the Kobold had given them. Dr Kato was taking to a mixed group, obviously delivering her pitch, and it looked like it was going over well. But no one approached Galatea. She caught a few young men looking her way, but none had the nerve. She considered leaving, but then someone spoke to her.

"Ms Galatea, you have been through the program yourself, maybe you should help Dr Kato." Miss Smith was standing across from her over the table. She held a cup of coffee in her hand. Next to her was a short monoeye with a large iced coffee.

"Greetings Miss Smith, and to you too Ms Manako." The elf perked up a little. "It has been a long time." She rose from her seat and extended her hand. The monoeye shook it.

"Sorry, work has kept me busy. I imagine the library keeps you busy as well," Manako said then sipped some of her coffee through the straw.

"Yes, we're a small library in the university system, but we hold our own." Galatea said proudly. She looked to the table where Mika was talking to a large group. "Are you going to help too?" she said to Manako.

"Yes, I am," the monoeye said meekly. Miss Smith watched as the two non-humans approached and introduced themselves to the group. It would do Manako good to be strong to set an example for the elf. It would do them both good. Now she just had to get more of this chocolate syrup coffee without the doctor or the goblin seeing her.

An Orc and a human carried tables to the storage room. A young boy did his best to help out by carrying the middle of the table. Gretchen pushed a rolling trash can out the door, as Polt instructed her on how to find the dumpster. A centaur pushed a cart full of folding chairs after her, intent on finding the storage room. All in all, a dozen or so had stayed behind to help clean up. It was going well.

"Ms Galatea, thanks for your help," Mika said as the pair carried the two coffee servers to the rental company's waiting van.

"Oh, it's not heavy," the elf said as she hoisted the green trimmed decaf server.

"Not for that, for helping with the presentation. You really sold it, I think the group has a good chance," she said as the pair headed out the door and wound their way to the service door. As they headed the servers over to the rental guy, they heard a goblin holler.

"A hand, the dumpster is too tall!" She had managed to get the trash into the dumpster, but in doing so had lost her grip on the trash can and it was not sticking out of the top of the dumpster, high above her grasp.

"Coming!" Mika went to help her small charge. Despite herself Galatea followed. Mika was no tall person, so she could not get a grip on it. Galatea, not believing what she was doing, helped pull the can out of the dumpster.

"How did you even get it up there?" Mika asked.

"It wasn't easy," Gretchen said. "Thanks elf." She smiled a big grin at the tall woman. Galatea stopped being abhorred about what she had just touched and was taken aback.

"You're welcome, . . . Goblin?" She replied with a thin smile.

Galatea walked across the mall in front of the library with a book under one arm and a lunch in her hand. She was headed to her favorite shade tree when she heard someone call out her name. She looked about and was about to dismiss it as her imagination when she saw someone waving at her from a bench. It was Dr Kato.

"Hello doctor, I should not be surprised to see you here." Galatea said when she reached the bench. "Are you on your lunch break?" She asked.

"No," Mika answered. "We already had lunch, office hours are being held on this bench today." She patted the bench next to her. "No students have shown up, so why don't you join us."

"Us?" The elf asked.

"Gretchen." Mika pointed under the bench where a sleeping goblin lie. "She likes to sleep under things, says it makes her feel safe."

"Well," The elf sat next to Mika. "They do sleep in little cubbies in the walls of their homes." She unfolded her lunch and began.

"Do you know a lot about goblins?" Mika asked.

"Some, but not for any good reasons." Galatea explained guiltily. A happy little tune came from Mika's pocket.

"I need to take this, it might be a student." She reached into her pocket and produced her phone. Galatea took this chance to start on her lunch. "Dr Kato here,. . . Yes, she came with me today, she is with me. . . That doesn't sound like a goblin. . . Well, I don't know what that is, but have you tried talking to her? . . . The Aquatics lab? . . . I'll bring her there and we will see. . . I'll be right there."

"What is the matter?" Galatea asked as Mika hung up her phone. "Another goblin?"

"Does not sound like one, she is covered in scales and has webbed feet and hands, they want to see if Gretchen can talk with her. Want to come help? If Gretchen can't, maybe you can talk to her." Mika folded her stuff up and bent over to reach under the bench and nudge Gretchen. "Gretchen, come on, get up."

"I'll be happy to aid you Dr Kato." Galatea closed her lunch and stood.

"Hu? What's up Mrs Mika?" Gretchen rubbed her eyes and climbed out from under the bench.

"I'll explain on the way, someone may need our help. Sounds like she is really scared and hopefully one of you can talk to her." The three women started walking across the campus. As they walked Mika brought Gretchen up to speed and Galatea called a co worker to explain what was going on. It was a bit of a walk, as the Aquatics lab was in a newer building on the outskirts of campus. It was a long modern building yet to be named for a university contributor. As they entered the doors a student came up to them.

"Oh, You must be Dr Kato and Gretchen, I'm Ko, Dr Adachi wants me to bring you to the lab, follow me." The young woman ushered them to follow her. They wound their way through a few cordons and down a stairwell to the basement. Through a door they entered a large long room. The room must have run the full length of the building. Most of the floor was filled with twenty or so long troughs in the floor that ran the length of the room. Most were filled with water. An old man in hip waders came to them.

"Dr Kato, I'm Dr Adachi, sorry to call you like this but I heard that you were hosting a goblin and I thought she might be our little fish thief." He offered his hand to Mrs Mika.

"It's OK, but as you can see, Gretchen is with me." She took the offered hand. "This is Gretchen and Galatea, maybe one of them can talk to your little fish thief."

"Oh, that would be good, we can't get any work done with her here. Come this way." He lead them along the room on one of the walkways between the water filled troughs. "We do research on herbicides and pesticides to see what happens to them when they end up in the environment." He motioned to the artificial streams around them. The women could see fish, plants, and other river organisms in the water. "Fish started disappearing a week ago, so we set up some cameras to see what was happening. We caught her last night on camera and we think she is in the deep end of tank number 4."

"Testing chemicals? Could she be sick?" Dr Kato asked.

"I doubt it, we are not testing anything particularly potent or persistent currently. Most modern herbicides and pesticides break down pretty quick in the environment." Dr Adachi said as they neared the end of the tanks. "I called the government, but got the runaround, they said they would send someone out, but didn't seem to be in any hurry." They continued along the walkway to the end of the room. The water in the trough was deep enough it was difficult to see what was down there. Gretchen leaned against the railing.

"Breathes underwater and is my height and green, any ideas?" She looked up at the tall elegant elf.

"Doesn't sound like anything from back home to me." Galatea said. "Could be a native species, perhaps something from the wilds of Japan that has found it's way in here." She looked into the deep water herself. "I doubt she will come out with us staring at her like this."

"Right!" Gretchen said. "Dr sir, can we turn off the lights for a bit?" She turned to Dr Adachi.

"Yes, OK, let's see if we can lure it out." The man agreed with the unspoken plan. A few minutes later the room was dark and silent. One of the doors was 'accidentally' left ajar. Galatea and Gretchen sat in the dark, their senses opening up to the dark silent room around them. The light from emergency exit signs and the door provided more than enough light for both elven and goblin eyes. The minutes moved slowly, but both were patient hunters by necessity.

The water stirred. Something was moving slowly under the surface. The two hunters held their breath. A hand reached out of the water. It was small, green, with long fingers and webbed. A second grasped the edge of the pool and the head emerged. Green hair, that looked much like seaweed, and on top of the head was a small pool of water. Her scale covered face was cute in an almost childlike way. As she climbed out of the water she looked much like a green scale coved kid with seaweed for hair and clothing made of other water plants.

Her eyesight must not be as good in the air for she completely looked over the still and crouching hunters. She cautiously made her way towards the door. In a soft voice only a goblin's ears could hear, and then only if right next to her, Galatea whispered.

"A Kappa, a Japanese species. Maybe she stowed away in a crate of samples from a river in the mountains. Let me try talking to her." The goblin nodded in agreement, she had never spoken to such a creature herself and didn't know what language to try. The elves melodic voice gently broke the silence of the room.

"Friend, don't fear." Galatea said in Low Elvish, a language many woodland creatures knew. The Kappa did not start, but looked around the room, the glamor of the elf's voice calming her.

"Free. . . Me. . . River. . ." The Kappa responded in Low Elvish. Galatea motioned for Gretchen to stand and did so herself.

"Friend, I am an elf, I'll help you return to your river, but you must trust me." The gentle voice of the elf said again.

"You can trust her." Gretchen chimed in, stepping forward. The Kappa sighted the movement and turned to them, on guard but not running. But just then, a piece of equipment in the room kicked on and the Kappa bolted for the door. The two raced after. The Kappa squeezed through the ajar door and screams and shouts on the other side sounded as she leapt and bounded past the humans. Long graceful elven strides and quick goblin ones ate up the distance and soon they were in the hallways beyond with the humans following after.

A scholar and not a stalker, the elf quickly was out of her element and was forced to follow the goblin as the Kappa's wet footprints dried out. Gretchen's senses were at full alert, her ears twitched searching for sound, her eyes wide, from time to time she was on all fours smelling and tasting the floor. Quickly, quietly, the pair darted through the building, several times Galatea had to motion for the humans to remain back due to their noise. Then at one corner, Gretchen motioned for the elf to stop.

"Shhhh," the goblin soothed as she slipped around the corner. "Me. . .Friend. . ." She said in Low Elven to the Kappa who was poised at an exterior door. Both the Goblin's and Kappa's chest rose and fell with the exertion of the chase. Gretchen's keen eyes noticed that the pool of water on top of the Kappa's head had spilled and the poor thing was starting to get weak. Slowly she closed the distance, until mere feet separated the two. The Kappa collapsed and the goblin caught her. For a moment she stood holding the weakened creature, then Galatea approached with a bottle of water.

"Water." She said in the low elven the creature seemed to know. She poured some into the basin on top of the creature's' head. It began to stir.

"Goblins. . .Elf. . .Both?" The Kappa was confused. She then made fist and pounded them together. "Goblin. . .Elf. . .Hit."

"No, Friend, not here." Galatea said.

"Were friends!" Gretchen smiled broadly.

"Goblin. . .Elf. . .Me. . .Hit?" The Kappa asked as she hit her fist together again.

"No, We will take you to your river." Galatea said. The Kappa looked at them and then to the door.

"River" The Kappa said with a pleading look on her face.

"Give. . . Word. . ." Galatea said as she held her hand on her chest. Gretchen's eyes went wide, if she was not mistaken she had just seen an elf give her word. The Kappa must have recognized the significance of this as well. She looked up to the elf and put her hand on her own chest.

"Safe?" She said.

"Safe." Galatea answered. Then in Japanese, "Doctor, you can come closer now, we have her and she is safe."

Miss Smith approached the elf and goblin. "Looks like they found what river she came from by looking at invoices, so your little Kappa friend can go back home." She said.

"Thanks Ms Smith!" Gretchen said. "She is just scared and wants to go home."

"Thank you as well. She seems quite impressed by you two getting along. So Galatea, have you finally found a friend?" Miss Smith looked over her glasses.

"She is. . . interesting." The elf said simply.

Art by PoroSnacks: