A/N: I'm not entirely sure where this came from, but it wouldn't leave me alone, so I had to write it down. It's a little all over the place, but I think it adds to the jumble that is Emma's mind.
Never enough. It was a statement that held many meanings. Different people thought of it in different ways. Things as trivial as never enough food, to the important issues, like never enough love. This was a statement that Emma had not only heard many times, but had thought about. She had never loved enough, never opened up enough. Which made her think, was it her? Was she simply just not enough?
That was the current cause of her situation. To anyone from the outside looking in, it just appeared to be someone who had enough. Someone who's emotional capabilities had reached their limit, and simply began the shutdown process.
This wasn't the complete truth. Granted, Emma had every single reason to have a complete and total mental breakdown. She had earned at least that much. Not only had she found her parents, something she had wanted since she was a child, but they were her age and as if that weird enough, they were also fairytale characters. Not just any fairytale characters, no, they were the epitome of fairytale characters. Snow freaking White and Prince Charming.
A groan escaped Emma's lips at the sheer thought. She had given up hope that the tears would stop. No matter how much she hated to cry, and she really freaking hated to cry, she couldn't stop it. Every time she tried, it only caused her to cry harder.
Which is why she sat on the floor of her office, the only in place in Storybrooke that hadn't drastically changed, one way or the other. It was also the only place where she wouldn't have to face anyone. She was alone here, didn't have to talk to anyone or listen to what anyone else had to say. It gave her the ability she needed to have her complete mental and emotional breakdown.
She swiped at more tears as they fell, angrily cursing each new one. "God. I am so stupid!"
Emma wanted nothing else than to be angry at her parents. To hate them for what they had done to her, for what they made her go through. She wanted to blame them for every single problem that ever arose in her life, but she couldn't. She didn't hate them and she wasn't angry. Frustrated, yes, but not angry. She actually understood why they did it. How stupid was that? To understand why your fairytale based parents put you in a magical tree that sent you to a whole new world.
A giggle bubbled up Emma's throat at that thought. The cartoon version of Aladdin and Jasmine floated through her mind, causing her to wonder which citizen of Storybrooke were they. That thought only seemed to send her barreling straight into another snot-inducing sob fest.
"Why can't I stop crying!?" Emma screamed. Glad no one was around to listen to her yell at herself.
This brought her back to her original train of thought. Her original reason for sobbing into her knees. She had simply been trying to avoid her parents. Yeah, she wasn't angry, but there were some conversations that Emma wasn't ready to have yet. Especially not that early in the morning, when she hasn't had time to shove her steel walls firmly in place. She had left the apartment early that morning, for fear that if Ma—er-Snow asked her to stay for breakfast that she wouldn't be able to turn her down. Emma knew she'd stop in at Granny's, grab some bacon, eggs, and a cocoa to go and eat at the station.
It was the perfect plan really, except for the way that everyone was staring at her. Like she was a God to them. Emma had gotten good at ignoring people who stared at her, that wasn't the hard part, it was how they were staring. Like they were waiting for her to give a grand speech and lead them all into battle. It unnerved Emma to the point that she realized that there was no place sacred left in town, and if that wasn't bad enough, the previous night Emma had realized that the one person that had become her constant, had changed as well. Henry was all for the big family reunion, and the poor kid didn't understand Emma's hesitation toward her parents. He didn't have a problem voicing his opinions on the subject either. If anything, that had unnerved her more than anything else that had happened.
Everything had changed, and Emma wasn't the type of person that took change in stride. Her entire world flipped on it's axis in a matter of minutes, and all she was trying to do was find her footing. To be able to latch onto something that was familiar. Something that hadn't changed. She had found that with the station. Everything was exactly how it was a few days ago, before all hell broke loose.
Taking a deep breath, Emma lifted her head and scanned her office. Not tidy in the least bit, because Emma wasn't exactly the tidy-type. The room was exactly how she had left it the last time she had been in here right down to the folder sitting on her desk. Taking in the sight of the familiar and unchanged room, Emma felt her cries start to ebb slightly. Her breathing started to become less rapid, and slowly she was able to calm herself down. The room seemed to hold a calming effect that no other place in town did. It was her safe haven, the one place she could come and just let go.
In that instant, the moment her tears dried, Emma realized that these people, the ones that had weaseled their way into her heart, thought that she was more than enough. That was what had freaked her out so much. Because she had never had anyone look at her with such hope and gratification. It was going to take time, that much was given, but Emma realized that given time she would be able to see in herself what the townspeople of Storybrooke already did. That she is capable of love, and she has the ability to open herself up. She already had, and even if it was painful and the possibility stood that she could end up heartbroken all over again, Emma realized that it was worth it. All the bad stuff was worth it in the end, because in the end she had a family and a town full of people that loved and adored her. Emma finally figured out the real reason why she hadn't been able to leave Storybrooke all those months ago. It wasn't just because of Henry, but because she had finally found the place that she belonged.