Chronicles of a Blonde Vampire
She finds him in New Orleans. Why isn't she surprised? There's so much between him and the city after all. Like a relationship that never ends. A lot like their own relationships, she muses.
He is her sire. Her blood reacts to him unwillingly. Always will.
He hasn't changed much. Loose hair richly covering his bluish eyes, black John Varvatos Vintage t-shirt, black jeans, black leather jacket, bourbon.
Just like at the Grill, just like Alaric will show up in a minute and take his rightful sit on the right from Him.
Only it's not The Grill, not Mystic Falls and it's been over 70 years since Alaric died.
She doesn't remember how she managed the distance between the entrance and the counter but she's sitting on his left, respectfully leaving the space on his right unoccupied. He prefers it this way.
"How did you find me?" He questions not exactly showing any interest in the upcoming conversation or her presence in general and keeps nursing his what seems like fifth bourbon.
"I have my ways." She answers and nods to the barman who recognizes her immediately and the next moment she's holding her own glass of alcohol.
He chuckles at it with no humor.
"Well I see you've got it all wrapped around here."
"I did spend here quiet some time." She takes a tentative sip.
"Oh yes, you did." He's dragging words and she knows that he's drunk. Drunk in a sense only Damon gets drunk: on the drink itself, on sorrow and on misery. "Some productive time, Barbie."
She lets the comment slide.
"Why haven't you been at the funeral?" She counters.
"Straight to the point, huh?" He gulps the rest of the drink and studies the now empty glass in his hands.
"What's the point in beating around the bush?"
There's a second when she thinks that he's got some witty comeback prepared but when he opens his mouth again a bitter reply comes out:
"What was the point in coming? People go to funerals to say goodbye. We said ours too many years ago…"
And she remembers that time all too well. It was right before she left for Europe. Elena took the cure, it was enough only for one vampire. Her and Damon's sire bond was broken, the feelings gone. Her feelings gone. More than that she asked Stefan to erase all the memories she's had of the supernatural.
Caroline remembers how the Salvatores, both with grief-stricken faces, Stefan's hands slightly trembling, Damon's stoic demeanor wavering, Elena and herself were gathered in the Lockwood old property basement just in case so no one would interfere. Stefan asked if Elena was sure. She was. Caroline thought how selfishly fast she's made the decision. Elena hugged Stefan, made a move to hug Caroline but the other hesitated only caving to give soon-to-be-human Elena a small more of a squeeze on the shoulder. Elena looked at Damon and smiled with that sweet smile of hers, shrugging her shoulders lightly. She said only that she was sorry and said goodbye.
Then Stefan compelled her and Caroline took her home because she was the only one of the three Elena knew before.
Next day Caroline left. She didn't pack, only kissed her mother goodbye and called Bonnie and Matt and left. She didn't bother farewell with Stefan, he'd be able to find her if he needed to.
She skated on the Eiffel Tower in Paris, rode on two store bus in London, watched the theatre of shadows in Prague…
A vampire's life is very interesting if you realize how to live it. You get to know so much, see everything. Knowing other vampires is another thing as well. You start to appreciate seeing a familiar face.
Caroline remembers her pleasant encounter with Elijah in China. They shared a Peking duck and some herbal tea while he was telling her a story how he'd visited the country previously with his sister and she in tern revealed all about her travelling and cultural experiences. They parted after the dinner but a pleasant afterglow was left on Caroline's thoughts after the meeting with the eldest Original.
She remembers her every annual meeting with Stefan, her mentor and her best friend. Two years after she fled her hometown he sought her out in Greece while she was busy catching the last rays of sunlight on the beach of Rhodes. He once again broke up with Rebekcah and needed a friend. She took out a bottle of Rakija and they shared both, a bottle and an amazing view of the sunset. They spent three weeks together and the times only strengthen their bond. She remembers how stupid she was once thinking that he saw her as a substitute for Lexie, not realizing that their friendship was unique. With time this insecurity passed away. They decided to meet back on the island every 10 years just because they were like this, they needed something that was constant and at the moment in time – their friendship was that part of the equation. 20 years later they bought a villa together so there would be a place to go to every anniversary of their friendship. There is always a storage of that Rakija beverage in the basement.
She ran into Rebeckah on one of Milan fashion shows. At first it was a stiff daggers-glaring match but all ended up in the bar discussing the disgusting new collections, Italian men and the best places to visit shopping-like. A lot of drinking later and the Original Blonde admitting that her dislike of Caroline rooted in jealousy over her and Stefan's friendship, the two female vampires cleared the air solidly. Maybe they weren't exactly friends yet but at some point they both felt that the road they were taking would get them there one day.
Caroline was in touch with almost every vampire she's encountered through her life. Even Abby, Bonnie's mom. Even Kol was present once or twice. She still remembers their fierce battle for a 70 year-old wine bottle at Hamptons auction. Knowing him, she let him win. They shared a bottle afterwards, it sucked.
She was good friends with Bonnie until the witch died almost two decades ago. Now she's good friends with both her son and grandson, both being warlocks. They helped each other on numerous occasions.
From her human life there were only two people that she was in contact with: her mother and Matt.
Caroline more than once asked Liz to come live with her or any place in the world for that matter but the sheriff was anything but glued to the small town refusing to leave it even if her life depended on it. Although she did come to spend time with her daughter in Mexico. They spent two unforgettable weeks in Caroline's beach condo in Acapulco. Liz wondered how Caroline had all the money that she's owned. The blonde vampire smiled and answered that it all started with the compulsion but then she just learned where the bad people kept their money (off-shores) and how to play with the bad people's minds. Her mother didn't need or want to know the rest. Liz died at the age of 56 from a heart attack, there was nothing anyone could have done. Before passing she's left her daughter a last gift: a death certificate. Caroline Forbes was officially dead. Died in a tragic car accident before her mother's passing. If she ever needed to come back to Mystic Falls she could be a cousin, a step sister, any other distant relative. Matt and Bonnie took care of the official part of the funeral while Caroline herself came to mourn at night with no prying eyes. She left for Montana after that, her small house on the lake where there were no people or supernatural beings around. Only her, her grieving and nature. And silence. It helped, to the extent that it could help.
Matt. Matty. He was loyal to her till the end. They called each other frequently. He told her about the happenings and gossips of Mystic Falls, she told him about all the breath-taking sights that she's seen, the languages she'd learn, the people she's met. Matt died too. Only 7 years ago. "Only" was probably only for her. For the others 7 years was a too big part of a life.
For her sometimes years start to blend. But she tries not to think about it.
The only one she hasn't seen once through these years was the person she's expected to run into the most. Damon Salvatore, her reluctant sire. He didn't come to her mother's funeral though she did expect him to pay his respects. Didn't show up in their Family Home in Italy when his brother and Rebeckah celebrated 50 years together. It's like he perished, like there was no elder Salvatore in existence, like Stefan was the only one left from their lineage. But there were rumors, murmurs, mutters and she knew he was still around.
When Elena Gilbert passed away and he didn't show up for her funeral Caroline decided to him. It's not so hard to find someone when you set your mind to it, especially through the supernatural net.
We'll always have bourbon street…
That's how she found him in one of New Orleans' bars: as always drinking and as always miserable.
"Okay, I get that. I wasn't there as well as per say. Just watched from afar. But why didn't you come to my mom's service?" Caroline finally asks shaking off the memories.
Damon doesn't say anything. He doesn't look at her. She's been here for 20 minutes now and he hasn't looked at her once. They haven't seen each other for more than 70 years and he doesn't even spare her a glance. It makes her angry. She doesn't particularly get angry these days but this…this disrespect he's showing gets to her.
"What the hell is going on with you? What are you doing?" Her voice is something in between of a hiss and a growl.
"What am I doing?" and he finally turns to her but what Caroline sees makes her want to gag. "I'm living out my eternity."
This is not Damon Salvatore. This is not the man whose blood turned her. His eyes are dull and lifeless. And she realizes that in it's strange to refer to them like that in their undead state but it's the truth. It's like he's been dead for all these years. He's just functioning: walking, drinking, sulking….
"No, Damon," She whispers determinately. "You're doing anything but living."
In a blink of an eyes he's gone, a gash of a wind tangling her long blonde hair.
She looks at the place that he occupied just seconds ago and thinks about their sire bond again. She can't help it. Caroline praised herself for being very selective of who she turns. In over a 70 years she's sired only two: one, Iohan, was a student she's met in Germany while skiing in the mountains. They hit it off right away, he was like a brother she's never gotten to have. The avalanche happened and Caroline had to make a choice. She made it and now Iohan is roaming the world like the other vampires. He and Caroline see each other often and she's proud of the vampire he's turned out to be. Her second and as far the last sire was Juliet, a seer, who was involved in the game between vampires, humans and werewolves, a victim in a latent war that never actually ends. Caroline and Juliet were left to fend for themselves when Rebekcah and Stefan failed to get help. Juliet was dying and Caroline, knowing that she was not only a Seer but Kol's lover, fed her her own blood and twisted her neck a second later. Juliet was a nice human though a little reckless but Caroline figured it would be nice to be in Kol's good lists. Caroline and Juliet are on very good terms but their paths rarely cross as Juliet spends her eternity with Kol and they prefer it that way.
Still it frustrates and saddens her that she doesn't maintain a relationship like this with her own sire. She doesn't hold grudges against him for how he treated her when she still was a human, she doesn't store the episodes of when he tried to kill her in her memory, and even though they've never really were friends, she's never considered him an enemy.
Now she doesn't even recognize the man he's become.
"Miss Forbes." The bartender nods when she stands up.
She acknowledges him and leaves the bar.
The night is like any other. With a promise of a rain maybe. But nothing assured the storm she was about to get.
"I was there." It's said very quietly and if it weren't for her super hearing she would miss the words.
He stands in the empty ally near the bar, learning on the wall of a tall building, hands in his pockets.
"I was at Liz's funeral." He clarifies when she doesn't respond. "You came at night so you wouldn't have to explain why some Mary-Sue cousin looked exactly like Liz's dead daughter. You spent five hours at the grave crying."
Caroline stands rooted to the pavement.
"I was there in Sydney when you first went to that Opera you really like. You were wearing that long yellow dress and it was like you were the sun. I couldn't listen to the singers that night."
She can't move. Even if she wanted to. He's saying things she doesn't know how to interpret or react to.
"I followed you everywhere in the world you were going. From the miracles of the world you were visiting to when you bought your first vineyard."
His voice is steady and he looks what seems like a million miles away.
"When the sire bond with Elena was broken and she clearly let us all, me the most, realize that she wanted nothing to do with what we are, it was like a curtain suddenly fell and I realized what I've done. Out of all people I humiliated and hurt and almost destroyed your life…"
A moment later he goes on:
"I wanted to come to you and… I don't know what… just to you because no matter what was happening back then you seemed to be the only one who could ever relate even a little bit to me… but when I finally decided to approach you…it was after you mom died and you went to the lake house…I realized I was too late."
The memories hit Caroline with a force of a brick wall. She remembers that autumn. Of course, she does.
She sits on a small wooden pier that splits the lake in front of her cabin. Montana is beautiful this time of year. She sits on the wood, a colorful blanket draped over her shoulders. She doesn't feel cold but she needs to cover herself with something. Needs it terribly.
Stefan called her asking if he should come but she refused stating that she needed time for herself with no one around. Bonnie and Matt called but got the same answer. Even Rebekcah called, awkwardly asking if there was anything she could do. Caroline really appreciated he afford among others.
The lake is still. Still as her mother's body five feet under.
Suddenly there are steps but she doesn't turn around to see who is their owner.
The next moment there's a movement next to her and he sits down on the wooden floor. He's wearing a Henley, dark jeans, boots and a black coat.
"What are you doing here?" She asks weakly with her voice unsteady from not talking for such a long time.
"Shh, think about it later, sweetheart." His accent is thick to her ears, it calms her waves of anxiety and tears attacks.
Klaus carefully puts his arms around her and crushes her form to his chest. She pulls one of her arms around his mid-section. He covers her tenderly with that colorful blanket and they sit there for hours. Or maybe days. And all the time he rocks her. Back and forth.
Until she can walk again, until she can breathe again, until she can call herself a person again and not just a shell.
"You…" But she doesn't know what to say.
"Yes." He answers the unspoken. "I was there. Then He (and Damon makes a great emphases on the He part, trying not to let all the disgust and bitterness pour into it) took you to Africa, then you went to some island… I don't know where. I wasn't sure you'd cave in to him, I really bet against it. But then I saw you in my own house in Italy so beautiful and so…happy. And right there next to you…it was Klaus. With my brother, amongst his family and…with you. It's like he's taken it all. It's like he's taken my place…and a place that I never deserved, I know! But…does he? Does he really deserve it more than me?"
Silence. Damon spats the next words:
"I stopped following you after that."
Caroline looks at him horrified. So many emotions go through her like lightning bolts but she tries not to let them show. As much as she can.
"I…I don't know what to tell you, Damon." When she speaks it's a great effort and a great sourness in her voice.
"There's no need to tell me anything." He chuckles humorlessly. "I know where I'm at fault. I know that this is my eternal regret. You're the woman that I will regret for the rest of my life."
He steps closer and she still doesn't move.
"Just tell me this." He reaches her and she can almost feel his alcohol-induced breath on her face. "Can you forgive me someday? I mean, you did forgive Him for all the terrible things he's done."
Caroline looks him straight in the eye and admits more to herself than to him:
"I guess, I never expected so much of him in the first place."
The tension between them beats any electricity bolts. His eyes eat up on her every inch. She looks in his eyes…so foreign now…the eyes of a stranger.
"Caroline!" A stern voice announces the arrival of a hybrid.
Caroline and Damon still stand without a move.
"Love, you've found him, now we've got to go." Klaus says from behind her, he knows something is going on, feels it with his skin.
"Our fate is to live forever, Damon." She finally says softly. "I don't know what's going to happened tomorrow, or fifty or a hundred years from now…but I know that you need to start everything all over again. I'm not the one who needs to forgive you. You need to forgive yourself. Reconnect with your brother, he's your family, you don't lose family."
Caroline steps back and gives him one last look. In a flash she and Klaus are gone.
Damon doesn't know if that was a hope she's given him or not. He knows that his Barbie was right though…he has to start living again. And reconnect with his brother.
…there are some very awkward Thanksgiving dinners to come.