Maybe this was always meant to happen.

He'd pushed and forced his way through the rigid barrier Souichi had built and tried to make a home for himself there. But it wasn't going to be enough. It hurt in every conceivable way. His body. His mind. His heart.

"Get a hold of your love filled brain!"

He supposed he was lucky to have as long as he did, to hold Souichi and try to show him how much he meant, how much he had changed his outlook on love when the crushing temptation to give up was unbearable.

"I've never once done it because I wanted to!"

It had to stop, they couldn't continue. He couldn't continue.

The love he'd cradled and protected and held onto with desperation was crumbling before his eyes and he could do nothing more than watch it slip away.

Even Souichi's show of concern the following morning when he was shaken awake from the ball he'd made on the floor of the school's laboratory, was not enough. It might have been once. But his heart couldn't take the unrequited inevitability of their relationship. He wanted more, he wanted commitment and a hand to hold and a heart to beat in tandem with his own.

"Don't wander around! Stay where I know you are!"

That afternoon and well into the evening, he went against Souichi's wish and packed all his belongings.

His bedroom boxed up and two bags clutched in either hand, he cast a glance around the place he'd called home.

In the train a few hours later, he couldn't quite keep the tears at bay any longer.

Their home. It could've been their home.

Five years later

"Tetsuhiro! Meeting in five." Kaoru, the new intern, rapped his knuckles on the door. Tetsuhiro nodded with a brief smile from his place behind the desk and took the opportunity to stretch in his seat. A meeting was a welcome change from the paperwork that had piled up and seemingly multiplied on its own.

Instead of tackling his next project, he let the quiet of the office settle around him. His office mate had been sent abroad to one of their newer firms and Tetsuhiro knew once he returned, it would be difficult to share the space again.

He glanced down at his new watch, a birthday present from his boyfriend, and stood up with a groan. It was nearing the end of the day and he wanted to make this meeting as brief as possible, food on his mind.

As he left his office for the meeting, Kaoru sidled up alongside him.

"Any idea what this is about?" Tetsuhiro asked as they walked.

"Boss said something about a new team coming in to help with the next project."

Tetsuhiro wasn't too surprised. The company was growing and acquiring an outsiders perspective was a good way to help the expansion. "Huh, must be big if they need help." He said, sitting in a chair close to the exit. Perhaps Gabe had gotten home early and made them dinner.

The manager of their department, Mr. Tsukuda, entered the room a few moments later when most of the team had sat down.

"Alright team, as you know we've been focusing our efforts on a relatively small scale. With the new international firm opening, we have to look at the larger picture. Our team is cohesive and knowledgeable but for this to work we need fresh eyes. So, starting tomorrow, you'll be working one on one with a counterpart tailored to your specialty. Some of these guys are fresh from university, others have been researching for years, but I've been assured they are willing to learn and cooperate."

Tetsuhiro raised his eyebrows as did some of the rest of his colleagues. They'd had outside people come in to help but one on one? With each of them?

Mr. Tsukuda stepped backward slightly to peek around the corner of the door and nodded to someone they couldn't see.

"They seem ready now, come on in. Welcome!"

Tetsuhiro stood with the rest of his team, eyes flitting between each new face. He opened his mouth to make the first introduction when he froze, heart in his throat.

For a dizzying and breathless moment, he was transported back in time as fiery eyes looked up and burned through his own.

Though his hair was cut shorter and an unfamiliar suit fit snugly around his figure, it was impossible to mistake this man for anyone else.

"-to. And finally, this is Souichi Tatsumi."

He could hear people talking around him but it sounded far away and muted. He wasn't sure he was even breathing because...Souichi. He was here at his company, in his city, and watching him with a guarded but equally stunned expression.

God. His eyes were exactly the same.

A pressure on his shoulder forced him out of Souichi's gravity, the blood rushing in his ears clearing slowly. He realized with some embarrassment that he must have been staring for quite some time because Kaoru and his boss were looking at him with concern.

"I-I'm sorry." His voice rasped and he coughed, falling into a more professional air. He forced his legs to move the five steps towards Souichi and held out a hand he hoped wasn't obviously shaking.

Souichi seemed to come out of his own daze and took his hand. "Morinaga." He pitched in a low voice. Just hearing his name again from Souichi's own lips was enough to make his breath hitch. The whole thing felt completely surreal.

He tried to smile and nodded. "Senpai."

For the first time since Souichi had entered the room, an actual flicker of emotion spread across his face. But before he could pinpoint what it was, Tetsuhiro's hand was dropped quickly and he looked away. "It's not appropriate for you to call me that anymore."

Mr. Tsukuda cleared his throat beside them, evidently having watched the exchange with confusion. "I'm sorry, have you two met before?"

"We were kohai and senpai at university together." Tetsuhiro offered more confidently than he felt. He was still at work, this was a job, and he could keep being professional. It had been five years after all.

"Oh, well good. It should be nice for you to see a friendly face Morinaga." Mr. Tsukuda said. "Come and meet your new partner for the next month." Tetsuhiro was pulled away and Souichi pulled in the opposite direction and that it seemed, was that.

Yuuki, his assigned partner, was nice enough and very intelligent. Tetsuhiro concentrated hard on what he was saying as they walked back to his office. He would not allow his mind to wander. He had spent the good part of the last five years getting rid of anything that could remotely reminded him of Souichi and that painstaking work wasn't going to be overturned in one brief meeting.

Thirty long minutes later, he was free to go home. He waved goodbye to Yuuki and several other coworkers as they passed by his office. He pretended to busy himself with paperwork to give the illusion of working late and when he was sure everyone was gone, he turned off the light and took the stairs.

He told himself it wasn't because he was avoiding Souichi.

After a restless night, he turned up to work the following morning with a huge cup of coffee and butterflies in his stomach. Taking in a deep breath as he pushed the correct floor in the elevator, he reminded himself for what had to be the hundredth time of what today would entail.

-Go over the new data analysis with Yuuki.

-Make sure Kauro was finishing up his assigned tasks

-Call boyfriend after his meeting.

-Finish up some overdue paperwork.

-Do not under any circumstances talk to or about Souichi.

Tetsuhiro kept his eyes resolutely forward, mumbling the list to himself under his breath, and finally reached the safety of his office.

He practically fell inside the door, breathing a little too quickly from the exertion, and smiled. Okay. Arrived without incident, right on schedule. He strode forward to set the coffee down on his desk, almost spilling it on his new tie as someone tapped his shoulder.

Of course it could only be Souichi that stood behind him with a stack of paperwork in his arms. He raised an unimpressed eyebrow as Tetsuhiro steadied his drink in one hand and tried to figure out what to do with his mouth as he was handed the stack.

"You look like hell." Souichi remarked as his eyes flit over his face. He must see the dark rings that were surely under his eyes from lack of sleep.

Tetsuhiro's brain unhelpfully switched off and he couldn't think of a single intelligent response. Instead, he shrugged and took the papers.

Souichi looked like he was waiting for some sort of comment or greeting or something a normal human being would say at this point. But Tetsuhiro couldn't bring himself to say anything that wasn't breaking his own rules.

Thankfully Yuuki interrupted with a tap to the frame of his doorway.

"Morning, Morinaga. Tatsumi."

Tetsuhiro cleared his throat. "Good morning Yuuki."

Souichi snapped his head in Tetsuhiro's direction, a look he couldn't quite identify gracing his features, before grunting in response and turning away. His stomach twisted miserably.

Well, technically he didn't talk to Souichi.

Yuuki chuckled and followed Tetsuhiro into the office. "That Tatsumi, I swear. Only way I ever get a word out of him is if we're talking about research results." They take their respective seats and Tetsuhiro let out a weak laugh. Yuuki pointed to him, furrowing his eyebrows. "You know each other right?"

"From school." Tetsuhiro answered shortly. He tried to steer the conversation away from Souichi. "How are you liking Osaka?"

"It's really beautiful here. Might go to the Snow Blossom festival with the wife and kids." Yuuki began to sift through the paperwork Souichi had given him. "I mean, Tatsumi's beyond brilliant and everything, but it makes me wonder how he gets away with it at home. My wife's always trying to get me talk."

Tetsuhiro leaned forward. "Wait. What do you mean?"

"Hmm? His fiance Naomi?" Yuuki said as if the information wasn't making the world tilt dangerously. Tetsuhiro found he couldn't breath as easily as before. "I thought you two were old friends?"

Swallowing with difficulty, he cleared his throat. "We...haven't talked in awhile."

Yuuki seemed oblivious to his internal struggle and mercifully began talking about the project.

Tetsuhiro concentrated as well as he could manage, his brain still trying to process what he'd just heard. Souichi was going to marry someone. It wasn't like he hadn't considered that Souichi would move on or create new relationships but...he couldn't even fathom it.

He idly wondered what else had changed in the last five years. But then, he had no right to be disappointed with the news. He was the one who decided to leave. He nodded to a question Yuuki asked and clenched his hands under the desk. He could not regret his decision now.

The rest of the day passed slowly. Thankfully, Souichi had stayed in the laboratory on another floor and didn't cross paths with Tetsuhiro again.

When it was nearing dinnertime, Tetsuhiro volunteered to stay behind to sort some paperwork.

"You sure? There's quite a lot. Might take up to an hour." Yuuki said, wrapping a scarf around his neck.

Tetsuhiro smiled encouragingly. "I don't mind."

"See you tomorrow!"

It didn't take too long to sort through and by the time he'd finished, he was hungry enough to try the new restaurant nearby. Plus, he was sure everyone else had gone home already.

He braced himself against the chilly winter air as he left and made for the train station a few blocks away.

"Oi! Morin-Testuhiro!" A voice stopped him in his tracks and his eyes widened as Souichi walked briskly over to him.

He looked freezing and Tetsuhiro's admonishment died on his tongue. Had Souichi been waiting this whole time?

"H-hello." He greeted, wondering if it would be rude to just continue on his way home.

But Souichi was so familiar and the crease in his eyebrows had only deepened, his hair illuminated by the streetlights above. It was difficult to look away from a sight he thought he'd never see again.

Souichi shuffled in place, hands deep in his pocket. "Are you hungry?" He asked unexpectedly.

Tetsuhiro hesitated, willing his grumbling stomach to stay quiet.

He opened his mouth to answer but Souichi must've anticipated a rejection when he quickly added, "I would like it if we could get dinner." He paused. "To catch up."

Tetsuhiro cast around wildly for some sort of excuse. His boyfriend was busy tonight. He was quite hungry. And, ashamed though he was to admit it, he was desperate to know more about Souichi's life.

"I don't know if that's...I mean I don't think..." Tetsuhiro started. His voice sounded brittle even to him.

Souichi's confident stance broke a little and he glanced away with a distinctly disappointed expression and something twisted uncomfortably inside Tetsuhiro.

"Dinner would be good."

In another time, in another life, Souichi would've stormed ahead of him, picked the first restaurant they'd find with a decent menu, plop himself down and order too much alcohol. But the man before him sipped at his water mildly and waited patiently until Tetsuhiro had decided what he wanted before signaling the waiter.

"No beer after a long day at work?" Tetsuhiro commented after the waiter left them. Souichi shrugged, staring into his glass like it offended him.

"I suppose I like to be a little clearer in the head nowadays."

Whatever that was supposed to mean, Tetsuhiro mused though he stopped the thought before it could blossom. People stopped drinking for many different reasons.

There was a stiff silence. Souichi's eyes kept flicking between him and to a point above his left shoulder where he assumed a television screen was. Tetsuhiro shifted uncomfortably. He was sure he wasn't the only one feeling awkward. As if they weren't entirely sure how to be around each other anymore.

It made him sad to think Souichi had had half a decade to forget the nuances of their relationship.

"How long have you worked for this company?" Souichi's voice cut through the quiet.

Tetsuhiro cleared his throat. "About 2 years. I enjoy it."

"And...have you always lived here?"

Tetsuhiro heard the real question underneath the indifferent tone. Souichi wanted to know if this was where he'd been hiding for five years.

He nodded and took another sip of water for something to do. He broached for a safer subject. "How's Kanako?"

"She has a boyfriend now." Souichi grumbled and folded his arms. Tetsuhiro couldn't help it, he let out a laugh.

"How is that possible with you as her brother?"

Souichi sighed. "He was the only one that didn't run away."

Tetsuhiro laughed again. He felt good, better. The tension that had settled on his shoulders and at the base of his neck was softening. Souichi, though he still looked annoyed, seemed to feel it too, relaxing a little more in his chair.

When their food finally arrived, Tetsuhiro had regaled Souichi with the grander details of his life. Souichi listened with notable interest. For his part, Tetsuhiro could listen to the man across from him ramble about science and his work in the laboratory forever. It had always been something of a spectacle witnessing a person like Souichi speak so passionately.

The people who knew, though they could counted on one hand, never understood why he had chosen Souichi of all people. But watching him in that moment, so animated and alive and passionate about what he cared for, he felt a familiar flood of affection for him.

The topics never veer into uncharted territory, staying just safe enough to keep up the polite air around their table.

It was as he was watching Souichi pay the bill (on his insistence) that he really stopped to observe him. Souichi didn't seem unhappy per say, just content. He radiated a sort of calm that Tetsuhiro would have never associated with him when they'd known each other.

Souichi's eyes found his and blinked in confusion at the attention. Tetsuhiro smiled faintly and moved to stand up.

This fiance, whoever she was, had managed the one thing that Tetsuhiro could never do: Souichi was settled.

Tetsuhiro wrapped his coat a little closer around his chest as they made their way outside and checked his phone. Unsurprisingly, it was quite late and four unread texts from his boyfriend lit up the screen. He tapped out a quick response letting him know he'd call him when he got back to his apartment.

Souichi waited patiently a respectable distance from him, hands deep in his pocket against the chill of the night breeze.

"Sorry it's so late." Souichi said, looking almost a little guilty himself.

Tetsuhiro shook his head. "No it's fine. I just had to...text someone." It was the first time, he'd realized, that they'd referenced a significant other and it felt...strange. "Thank you for dinner."

Souichi nodded distractedly, and rocked backwards on his feet in a nervous tick. He was watching Tetsuhiro again like he expected him to continue.

The urgency to apologize came out of nowhere. The calls he'd ignored, the multiple numbers he had had to change near the beginning, the way in which he'd up and left without a proper goodbye. Tetsuhiro felt pinned by Souichi's gaze and he almost, almost let his thoughts slip into the cool air between them.

It was a drunken group of businessmen making their way out of the bar next to the restaurant that saved him, jerked him out of his stupor and helped to collect his thoughts.

"Well...good-night. Souichi." Tetsuhiro said over the chorus of loud men. "Guess I'll see you on Monday."

Souichi opened his mouth, eyes a little wider than before, and sighed. He looked conflicted. "Good-night."

Tetsuhiro was a few steps turned in the other direction when he could have sworn he heard his name softly mumbled behind him.

"Hey, you! I was getting worried."

Tetsuhiro sunk into the couch and pulled the phone away from his ear to put it on speaker. "Sorry, sorry. Guess I put my phone on silent and forgot."

He could hear Gabe chuckle a little under his breath. "You're like an old man sometimes. So, what was so enthralling that it made you forget about little old me?"

Tetsuhiro winced. It was a little too close to the truth.

"Oh just an old friend from university. They brought in a team from where I used to live to help out with that project I told you about." He hoped his voice sounded nonchalant enough.

"Wow! That's definitely a coincidence. Maybe we should have him over for dinner one of these days."

Already piling up Souichi's fake excuses in his head, Tetsuhiro agreed, knowing that the two worlds would never collide if he could help it.

"You okay?" Gabe asked.

"Huh?"

"You just sound a little off. Do you need me to come over? I can look at these clients cases later."

Tetsuhiro was reminded of just how lucky he was having met Gabe. After Souichi, he stayed clear of the dating scene. One night stands proved more unfulfilling than they had when he was in his early 20's. That is, until a tall, dirty blonde, lawyer walked into his new regular bar. Maybe it was the way he demanded dinner before anything else or the attractive hint of an Italian accent under his Japanese, but Tetsuhiro took to him immediately.

For the first time in a relationship, he hadn't been the first one to utter those three words. And it had felt good. To be wanted and loved unabashedly.

He smiled into the phone and hoped his words resonated. "I'm okay. Just a long day." He paused. "I love you."

He had just plugged in his phone and settled into bed when a text message illuminated the darkened room. It was from an unknown number and he almost ignored it. He was ashamed at how his heart skipped as he read.

Got your number from a colleague. It was nice to see you again.

There was no doubt who it was from. He hoped, as he drifted off, that leaving it unanswered would help him sleep.

It didn't.

Author's Notes: WOW it's been a long time! Missed you all so much!

I've always thought, what would happen if Mori ACTUALLY left? Angst, that's what would happen

Let me know what you think in the comments below and if I should continue with this.

Title inspired by the song, 'Cover Your Tracks' by A Boy and His Kite.