If Only

Zero could hear it.

Yuuki's heartbeat.

It was fast, much faster than he'd known it could go, and if the circumstances were different, he would have said it was dangerous.

Well, a different kind of dangerous. Yuuki, as a matter of fact, was in incredible danger right now. Zero wanted blood, like any other vampire, and Yuuki's was so close…

…and, though Zero hated to admit it, so good.

Amazingly, though, he wasn't concentrating entirely on that. No, he was busy berating himself for being so stupid, for thinking that he could do it, that it was even a good idea.

But if I'd had the courage, if we'd been a little closer, if she had just leaned in even the tiniest bit… Zero mentally sighed, disgusted with himself. Kissing Yuuki was generally not something at the top of his list of priorities. But really, he'd been so scared for her safety, even if only because of a stupid dream, that taking leave of his senses was perfectly natural, right?

That would never happen to him, Zero told himself. Then again, he'd never even have to ask. He was alright in Yuuki's book.

Words could not describe Zero's utter dislike for Kuran Kaname at the moment.

But just a little closer, really. Maybe an inch… no, not even that. Zero would freely admit (if only to himself) that he was curious, but that had been one of the last things on his mind at the moment. Well, until he'd caught himself, almost too close to stop.

And yet, a larger part than he was comfortable with was telling him to finish what he'd started. An innocent kiss that he could say he did not remember later, that he thought he'd dreamt (and, of course, had not wanted to dream about). Or, better yet, just declare his intentions. Yuuki was too kind to refuse him, anyway, and possibly to naϊve to figure out what he really meant.

"Zero?"

Her voice was so soft he could barely hear it over, he realized, the pounding in his head. A headache would surely take his mind off things. He let himself sink into the pain, knowing that it was a better place to be right now than anywhere else in his mind. He knew that if he tried to kiss her again, he would not be able to stop himself.

Better to quit while he was behind. Behind Kuran and his suave affection. Behind his better instincts.

Kiryuu Zero: Last in everything, including Yuuki's heart. He thought bitterly. You'd think I'd be used to it.

If only…

A/N: I absolutely adore this chapter in the manga/scene in the anime. It is, as I refer to it, "the kiss that should've been". Since I'm not yet used to writing VK fanfics, I figured I'd stick to the facts and not the what-ifs. But maybe, someday, I'll rewrite "the kiss that should've been" as "the kiss that was—and good!"

Well, if you'd please review and tell me how I did, that'd be great! I'd love to write more VK stuff, but I need to know what to keep and what to fix!