Cooking With The Nations

by DokuroTenshi

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a country teach you how to cook? Well, considering that its THEM, it would be absolute mayhem obviously! Every week, we'll be inviting a different country to help brush you up on your culinary skills. After all, food is the best way to reach out to the heart

I know I should be working on my ongoing story rather than starting another one but… What can I say eh? The plot bunny hit me while I was watching that Perfect Italiano advert and got me wondering why they didn't just employ Italy XD. So here it is. When nations cook.

I actually researched pasta recipes online (I can't cook for ze life of me LOL) so yeah~ Credits to whoever it is that posted the recipe :3

Announcer: Food is an important part of a country's culture. So who better to teach about it than the country itself? So every week, we'll be inviting a country or two to teach us some delicious native recipes. So kicking off this season will be everyone's favourite pasta obsessed Italian, Feliciano "Italy" Vargas! Lets start the show~!

Italy: Ciao ve! Welcome to Cooking With The Nations! The producer wants me to tell you how happy I am that all of you are tuning in!... AHHH! Ahh, Mr Producer please don't yell at me! I have relatives from your hometown!

Announcer: Please excuse us for slight technical difficulties… *Sounds of a whimpering Italian in the background*

Italy: Welcome back ve! S-So today, we will be learning how to cook pasta~ To begin, we shall start with boiling water vee. Then we pour in the spaghetti. Remember to flavor the water with some salt!

Italy: Okay! While we're waiting for that, lets work on the sauce. First, heat up some olive oil in a saucepan. You know, I know a girl who would hit others with a saucepan! They are very handy ve! Get one if you don't have one already!

Italy: Now we add the tomato paste and-

? Man from crowd: Oi you idiota! What do you think you're doing?!

*Brown haired man from crowd rushes on stage*

Announcer: Excuse me sir! No one else is supposed to be allowed on stage! Return to your seat please!

? Man from crowd: Shut the hell up cagna. I can't just fucking sit and watch while the idiota here screws up the pasta! This is a matter of life and death here!

? Man from crowd: *Grabs microphone from the announcer* I am Lovino "Romano" Vargas. Brother of the stupido idiota here. You can't cook pasta with tomato paste! You have to use actual juicy red tomatoes! Now I'm going to teach you how to make actual, good pasta.

Romano: Now give me that spaghetti. I will- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! THIS PASTA ISN'T EVEN FROM ITALY! ITS FROM THAT STUPID POTATO BASTARD'S COUNTRY! TRAITOR! CAGNA, HOW CAN YOU EVEN GIVE THIS TO US TO COOK?!

Romano: *grabs Italy by the collar and drags him off* That's it. Where is that Potato Bastard? Who gave him the right to make pasta huh? It had better not be you. I'M GONNA BEAT THAT MACHO POTATO TO THE GROUND.

Italy: Fratello!

Frantic announcer: Sir please! Don't start a war on live television! We're broadcasting world wide at the moment! And let go of Mr Italy please, he looks like he's choking!

Romano: Don't tell me what I can or can not do you-

Announcer: Ahaha! That's er all the time we have today folks! P-Please tune in next time to Cooking with the Nations! Ciao!

God I love Romano :3 I'm sorry if his cussing sounds… Odd. I don't cuss usually so yeah.. It may come out as kinda awkward… And the spaghetti I have in my house really is from Germany~ Wonder why Germany started producing pasta eh? –winkwink- Tell me in a review or a PM about the country you want to feature next! Ta ta for now folks~