Prologue
Author's Notes: Long time no see Guys, all ten of you... or less. In any case, I'm back momentarily to drop this off, and let you know I'm finally getting round to rewriting some of my most dissapointing stories. I'm in a vicious mood... heh heh heh...
Disclaimer: Well everybody knows none of the characters here belong to me except Tania, and Aisling belongs to a friend of mine, who's name I cannot remember. I make no money off of this and its merely a bit of fun, if you want to sue me I'm sure you'll win, so I'll offer up my three cents and thirty five thousand kilos of three year old chocolate now.
-Rave
You know its funny how these things happen, you never can tell when they're going to happen, or even exactly what is going to happen. It just kinda happens you know; you stub your toe, the ice cream runs out, random fictional characters accost you in your own home, you leave the bath running... Just stuff.
Fictional characters you ask? Yes, that happened, no really - stop laughing! Put down the phone... Nobody can hear you scream out here...
That's better. Now, as I was saying;
The fictional characters in question are not your usual prince in shining armour, though there was actually more than one prince involved, its just it was more a case of princes in shining spandex, woollen cloaks and greasy haircuts. Now don't ask me why this happened, to this day I'm still not sure, maybe the universe had PMS or something. Hell if I were the universe I'd screw up a bit every few millennia.
Hey wait a tic; I'm not supposed to be forgiving fate goddamnit! Whatever the hell up there that controls this stuff dumped me in a whole heap of doodoo and there's no friggin way I'm letting it off the hook. So just so that mysterious entity that controls these things knows, I've got a lot of spare time and some very deviationist hobbies just in case it ever tries to pull something like this again. Heh, nice and sharp... perfectly balanced... good slashing manoeuvres... heh heh heh...
Ahem, anyway, I'm writing from the relative safety of Aisling's living, while the bangs and curse words continue next door. No doubt Cartman found the emergency stash of chocolate. I know a nice zoo that might take him actually, where did I put that number...
Well anyway, before I descend entirely into madness, I should probably start at the beginning.
Aisling, (that would be my ever wonderful and all enduring best friend of the century) decided that while her parents were away for the week, she wanted company. In other words, she wanted somebody else to take the blame when the house accidentally caught fire. So she invited me, Tania – the ever-terrible blackbelt Amazonian blonde with a kickass push-up bra - to stay for the week. Naturally, I agreed.
See now, at the point when the phone rang with her on the other end, at that point, I should have started running. No, I should have been on a plane to the other side of the world by then, possibly with a small, armed band of militia sworn by their own blood and other bodily fluids to protect me from any phenomenon that involves rings, ki, fat kids, electric toothbrushes and teeny tiny clones. Of course, I wasn't on a plane to the other side of the world by then, possibly with a small, armed band of militia sworn by their own blood and other bodily fluids to protect me from any phenomenon that involves rings, ki, fat kids, electric toothbrushes and teeny tiny clones. Instead, I was answering the phone.
So you see, that was the first of my mistakes; the second was not taking the action I should have taken when the phone rang.
That aside, I was over at Aisling's that evening, grunting thoughtfully at the tv as it informed me all about the properties of fire ants. That is, until her parents left, when we turned off the national geographic channel, and turned on the stereo. Ah sweet ear splitting badly worded teenaged bliss.
So for the next three to four hours, amidst large amounts of chocolate, clothing, makeup, male strippers, bad sitcoms and adults only videos, Aisling and I indulged in unsupervised freedom. Later, her brother came down the stairs, announced that he was going out, not to call him, follow him, tell his parents, or go into his room, and then left as a shoe hurtled past his head. Aisling has one hell of an arm.
"Soooo... now that we're rid of the half haired Bigfoot, whatcha wanna do now?" Aisling asked, using me as a pillow
"Dunno." I answered nonchalantly, poking at a square of chocolate sitting on the coffee table.
"You know you never did tell me about what happened with you and Sam the other day..." she said wickedly.
I shrugged "He doesn't seem to like horses."
"Oh come on girl! Details." She sat up and gave my arm a shake.
I sighed, grinning, "Fine, fine, I took him riding, not that kind sadly enough, and he though it'd be fun to try jumping a fallen log. Lucky he didn't break his neck." I finished, sniggering
"Geezuz Tania, did you ever think guys might hang around longer if you didn't break them so often?" She said, sighing dramatically.
"Yeah but then what would I do with my whips?"
Aisling opened her mouth to answer, but the words never got out, because at that moment, the ceiling fell in.