Death, it hangs above the heads of all the living descending down to greet even the most unwelcoming beings with open arms. The fear of death isn't uncommon, it is the one thing in which everyone is vulnerable to.
We fear death because we don't fully understand it, or what happens after...
Some; however, do know, such as the girl we will soon meet. If you had asked her what dying was like now she would probably refrain from telling you the worst parts, but even then it would still shake you to your core.
The girl would describe it as cold, desolate, and indescribable feeling that washes over you and then nothingness. If one had ever felt depression then they would know to relate when she says all she felt was empty, a hollow version of her former self. She had no body to encompass her, no living form, she was just...aware.
The girl may start to shake as she goes into details the emotions overwhelming her as she forces herself to let out bits of information. She would tell you she knew who she was, and rememebered her family and friends, all her interests, and even her favorite television shows, and she would weep with no real tears just an all surrounding sadness for the life she once had.
She used to think that would be all there ever was, that she would drown in her regrets of her past life until one day she just stopped being entirely.
Until one day(no she didn't know how to measure time in this plain of existence, but sometimes she periodically blink out of awareness and then "wake up" so she tended to measure time by that) she felt something.
Everything seemed to be crumbling around her, she began to be able to feel and all she felt was a searing heat and a constant pain.
Things began to change an she was frightened, first came feeling, then limbs (she could move somewhat but she felt like she was in come kind of bag like say when you're in a sleeping bag and try to stretch out).
She was in such a state of shock, she had gone an immeasurable amount of time without feeling and now all these senses are overriding her thoughts what can she do?
Just like this she feels her self falling out of the too hot, and too tight prison she was in just moments before into what she could only describe as a place were sensations were immense.
She was suddenly cold and shaking, she couldn't even rejoice that she was alive before she was hit on the back and she let out a loud wail at the surprising pain.
By the sound of an answering baby's screech is how she figured out she was reborn.
The girl would probably then try to skip the details of the cleaning and figuring out she just came out of a uterus saying it was "too horrific" and instead go to she fell asleep after an mind-blowing experience.
If anyone would bother to ask her how was being a baby she would reply with an " I don't remember" in truth being an infant was nothing much different than being dead was.. meaning she zoned in and out of conciousness. She did remember making herself stand and walk much faster then most kids her age would have learned by, she remember her first word being "Mama" but really most was just her there sometimes not. Unfortunately she had been concious during a few diaper changes and that was something she would never like to recall again.
The girl was also aware that she only saw her father when she was aware once, and he didn't even hold her then just...stared. His stare had made her uneasy.. at that time she didn't even know the man was her father just a male stranger.
As she became about two maybe two and a half was when she began to be self aware all the time. She believed it was because her brains capacity at the time could not hold such adult feelings and understandings in a small infant, it would probably just damage it; therefore, as her brain began to mature she became more aware.
Her mother was rather tall-atleast to a toddler- with soft black hair and brown eyes, she clearly had japanese descent, but her skin was also rather pale. Her father, whom she rarely saw, had red hair that he had shaved neatly onto his head and his eyes were a stormy green.
They called her Mail which she questioned "Because that is weird to name your kid right?" but moved on and accepted it.
One day her Mother decided to try to get her potty trained- oh how she wishes she could block this out- when she discovers she is a boy.
Okay in her defense she had been an infant this entire time and she refused to look down when her mother changed her because it was strange! She never even bothered to really listen to most things her mother said because it usually was just cooing and she never really payed attention when she was given baths either cause again her awareness does still go away sometimes! So call her dense but she never noticed until that moment...
It must have been comical she would lament because her eyes got wide as saucers when she saw "it" and realized she would now be known as a he in her knew life.
Mail struggled to quickly get down potty training-despite how awkward having "new parts" could be- to avoid anymore situations with his mother trying to teach a boy how to use the potty.
When he thought about it, he supposed despite all the awkward arrangements, he would have to move on, in his past life while he was female, he had never really got gender stereotypes or the big deal of it, so being one gender or the other wasn't that big of a deal.
He also found it sad that his father wasn't even there to teach him that so his mother wouldn't have to.
As a toddler he spent almost all his time with his mother, he began to love her maybe not as much as his first mother (which was unfair to her he must admit) but he loved her all the same. His mother recognized his intelligence, despite how hard Mail tried to hide it, and would often spend the day teaching him things.
Now ironically, he had been reborn into an english speaking country so he did not need to-as he had read countless reincarnation fanfictions in his past life- learn a new language. His mother however seemed to have other plans. Mail found then that he was right about his mothers Japanese decent, because she drilled that he needed to learn Japanese.
Mail knew quite a bit of Japanese, so when his mother began to teach him in the new language she assumed languages came easy to him. Writing; however, in both languages was a struggle. His hand motor skills were still that of a toddler which made writing in general hard, but he also didn't understand brush strokes for Japanese so that was another tribulation.
Mail's Mother (re) introduced him to videogames when he was still a toddler.
Now he didn't mean the learning computer games, no she had already gave him many of those so he was fairly accustomed to those both in this life and his old one, no she introduced him to real video games.
His first console was a Game Boy (not a color yet sadly apparently it was too early for that since everything in this time seemed to be the 90s? He didn't know how reincarnation worked but he guess time doesn't apply since he was alive in the 2010's)she got it for him, smiling proudly when she put it in his hands. To say he was excited was an understatement, he remembered his childish emotions getting the better of him causing him to shout in glee. Back then, he only had Tetris at the time, but even then it was worth it and he was the happiest in the world.
When his mom had the time she would play it with him. His mother would sit him in his lap, cuddle him close and then hold the game boy with him and help direct him sometimes on what to put where.
A few days after this his father came home when he saw the boy playing on the console he glowered down at him. Mail remembered his father looking off, his hair was matted and he was clearly hungover and smelt awful. His father commented that day "I didn't realize all my money was being wasted on overpriced pieces of plastic." to his Mother at the dinner table.
That entire night he spent curled up in his bed listening to his parents fight, if he was truly a child he might not have understood why, but because he still had his adolescent brain he knew it was over the money she spent on his Game Boy.
The next day his mother came into his bedroom to wake him up, and he pretended to not notice her blotchy eyes from a night of crying, he scratchy voice from all the yelling done that night, and worst of all the bruise she tried in vain to cover up with make up...
He had a bad feeling about his new life.
Hey, so I wrote this because I wasn't satisfied with my first chapter I originally wrote, and I have to say I think this is the best chapter I have ever written. I have never been good with updating and keeping up with stories, but this is the first time I have actually wanted to keep writing and have genuinely enjoyed doing so and anticipated what would happen in the next chapter, instead of how the story would end. I also usually when I write fics such as these I stop at spot such as the character being reborn; however, this was the first time I ever pushed myself to continue and add so many details I usually leave out. I hope everyone who reads my story enjoys it and for those who stuck around to read this far in, Thank you.
Question for all of you: How do you think Matt should be admitted to Wammy's Orphanage? I have ideas that will be in the next chapter but I would love to hear you everyone's ideas.