Hug
"Aaah!" Allen was falling through the air, so it was appropriate to scream like he did.
The mission was to retrieve a suspected innocence from the light bulb of a light house. Allen had been fighting an akuma on the top of the tall building, while Kanda fought off a few on the ground. The Akuma had suddenly pushed Allen through the window, glass shattering and falling with him as he plummeted from the tower.
He had been pushed several yards away from the building, and he had become ensnared in a fishing net that had been lying amongst the junk that riddled the light house when he had tripped running up the stairs. So basically, he had no way to use his innocence to break his fall, or anything to grab onto. He was in a fatal free fall.
He was getting close to the ground, he tensed as he saw the ground approaching. Right before impact, Allen saw a flash of black in front of his eyes. He didn't feel pain, or the hard ground, or anything else he had expected. In fact, he was cradled in something comfortable. Something he wanted to fall asleep by.
Allen looked up, the thing he was cradled in was Kanda's arms. The other exorcist was holding him close, leaning his back against a tree. Allen figured that Kanda had saved him from the fall, and had dashed so hard and so far that he had collided with the tree, saving Allen from the impact. There were broken akuma parts littering the ground all over, and Mugen was laying next to them, unsheathed. Allen blinked, for some reason, Kanda still hadn't let go.
"Uhh...Kanda?"
"Dammit Moyashi. Why do you have to put yourself in those kinds of situations. Are you trying to make me worry?" Kanda sounded miffed, and also relieved.
"What?" Allen said, bewildered by the thought.
"You make it so hard to concentrate. Do you know how scary it is to see the person you love fall from a light house?"
"W-wait. You-"
Kanda tightened the embrace between them, looking at Allen seriously, "Yeah. I do."
Allen smiled and hugged back, "Good. I love you too."
Intoxication
Lavi pulled up to the apartment complex, looking over into the passenger seat at his drunk friend. "You need me to walk you in Allen? You have a hard time finding your room when you're sober..."
"Nah...I-I can find it...I'm not stuuuupid..." Allen slurred slightly and smiled at Lavi, his designated driver.
They had spent most of the evening at a bar, Lavi had wanted to hook up with someone. And he was going to. In the back seat, a tan man with curly black hair and a handsome face was smirking. His name was Tyki Mikk, and Lavi was going to take him home after dropping Allen off and fuck him. Tyki was quite happy with that plan, although he secretly wished that Allen would hurry up and leave.
Allen stumbled out of the car and went inside the building, as soon as he was there, Lavi pulled away. He stumbled to the elevator and stepped inside the waiting compartment. He pushed the button for what he was sure was his floor and it lit up. He leaned against the wall and steadied himself as the box moved upward.
He stepped out of the box and walked down the hallway, stopping at a door. He reached up, taking the spare key from above the door way and unlocked the door. Allen walked in, then stared at a not to happy looking Kanda who was looking at him from the couch of the living room.
"Wh...What 're you doin' in my apar'men'?" Allen slurred dizzily.
"Baka. This is my apartment. How'd you even get in, Moyashi?" Kanda growled.
"Key on top of door."
Kanda nodded, then scowled again, "You can leave now Moyashi."
"Don't CALL ME THAT!" Allen yelled, way louder than usual. It shocked Kanda...but only a little.
"What the fuck?"
"Call me ALLEN! Why won't you call me by my name?" Suddenly, the snowy haired man was sitting on the floor and crying. Kanda was more than a little confused.
"Wha-" Kanda began.
"Why doesn't Kanda say my name? Why doesn't he like me? Why doesn't he love me?" Allen cried, he seemed to forget that Kanda was even there.
Kanda looked absolutely shocked at this point. "You-"
"Dammit! Why does he hate me? I love Kanda so much!" Allen was sobbing, so he didn't see Kanda move.
Kanda picked Allen up and carried him into the back of the apartment, into his bedroom. He lay his Moyashi on the bed and crawled on next to him. "I don't hate you."
Allen stopped crying, remembering that Kanda was there, "Huh?"
"I don't hate you. I love you." Kanda said, right before he leaned over and kissed him.
Duh
Lenalee tapped her foot impatiently as she stared at the two quarreling boys. It was lunch time, and her, Lavi, Allen, and Kanda had sat together as usual. As usual, Kanda had called Allen Moyashi, and Allen had called Kanda BaKanda back, the two started hurling insults, and now it was evolving into a fist fight. It was such a common occurance, that the teachers didn't even stop it anymore.
Lenalee had begun to grow impatient with it though. She would yell at them afterwards or smack them or get her brother (the principal) the give them detention. Today, she looked pretty pissed, so when the fist fight began, some of the other kids ducked for cover, including Lavi.
Without saying anything, Lenalee caught both of their ears, dragging them apart from each other and upwards, so it would hurt. Allen whined, while Kanda winced, but the reaction was the same, the fight was over instantly. But she didn't stop. Lenalee dragged the two of them out of the cafeteria and into an empty classroom. She pushed them away from each other and her, the two of them glared daggers at each other from across the room.
"Stop it!" Lenalee yelled, obviously very pissed.
"But-!" Allen began, but Lenalee glared at him, making him stop.
"You two are obviously in love. So stop beating around the bush and get together!" Both of them looked shocked, they were completely stunned into silence, "I mean, it's so obvious! You two have pet names and are always looking for excuses to touch each other. Kanda, you hate Lavi because he's always touching Allen and they're best friends. Allen, you flip when Kanda doesn't talk to you because you really wanna be with him. It's like...duh!" Lenalee raised her hands in the air exasperatedly.
The two of them were beet red, embarrassed that they had been found out. They wouldn't look at each other, but focused on Lenalee, who didn't look like she was done talking yet.
"I'm gonna lock you two in here. You can't leave until you resolve something, and I'll get you both suspended if I hear fighting." She walked out of the classroom, the lock clicked behind her.
An hour and a half later, she was sitting boredly by the door. She hadn't heard anything from inside since she left, and they hadn't asked to come out yet. Lenalee opened the door slowly and silently, peering in. She smiled when she saw what they were doing. Allen was sitting on one of the desks, his arms around Kanda's neck, Kanda's hands rested on the desk on either side of Allen's hips. They were making out, and looked like they had been for a while.
Cat
A potion toppled off the table and onto Kanda. Suddenly, in his place, was a black cat. It looked annoyed. Allen and Kanda had been fighting in the Research Department when Allen shoved Kanda. Kanda had been pushed against that table, and now he was a cat. The clothes he had been previously been wearing were all around him, except his boxers. Those had disappeared.
Komui stared at the cat, then shook his head. "Well, since it's your fault, Allen, you have to take care of Kanda-kitty until the potion wears off." Komui picked up the pissed off cat and handed it to Allen.
"What?! When'll it wear off?" Allen asked, Kanda's new claws were already digging into his skin.
"It'll wear off over night. Take him with you everywhere, okay?" Komui said, his voice very serious. Allen nodded and sighed.
Kanda was small, and mostly harmless...mostly. Allen chuckled at the downtrodden cat, "I think I like you better as a cat, BaKanda."
He was instantly scratched.
Over the course of the day, a lot had happened regarding Kanda-kitty. Allen was scratched all over, because Kanda was annoyed as hell. Kanda did calm down and do cat stuff though, he just really hated Allen. He would push around a ball of yarn, he would chase the occasional mouse, he would bat at stray strings, and would even be mesmerized by a gleaming light.
That night, Allen carried Kanda-kitty back to his room and set him on the bed. Allen turned around and began undressing. Kanda jumped down from the bed, hissed, and scratched Allen's leg. Allen swung around and scowled at him.
"Dammit, Kanda. What the fuck?"
Kanda hissed and nudged Allen's discarded shirt with a paw.
"You don't want me to undress?"
The cat nodded, looking angry.
"I'm not going to sleep in my uniform. This is my room, so I'll sleep in what I want."
Kanda-kitty hissed.
"Shut up. I'm gonna keep my boxers on."
Kanda scowled and hopped back onto the bed, curling up in a ball.
Allen finished undressing and crawled under the covers of the bed. They each fell asleep, but Allen was awoked a few hours later. Kanda-kitty was standing near his face, shivering. He was nudging his face with a paw, looking quite upset.
"You cold?"
Kanda-kitty nodded and bristled. Allen sighed and pulled the cat under the blankets. To his surprise, Kanda-kitty rubbed himself up against his chest and curled up right next to him.
Sometime during the night, Kanda changed back. When they woke up in the morning, the two were looking into each other's eyes. They were so unbelievably close, almost naked, and still a bit sleepy. Suddenly, both of them moved forward and kissed each other. After a while of kissing, and fondling, they broke apart and panted as they looked at each other lustily.
"Y'know...I actually like you better human," Allen said with a smirk.
Relief
Kanda stood outside the old building, smirking. He had just defeated fifty akuma, and was damn proud of it. Allen had vanished into the building to find the innocence an hour ago, and was probably going to come out soon. Kanda was going to rub it in his little Moyashi face that Allen was a wuss.
That was when the building collapsed. In a matter of seconds, a dust cloud had spread over the entire square and the former town hall was now rubble. Kanda stood staring at the place where the door had been. It was the place where the Moyashi had been last seen. He was frozen. Fear rushed over him.
The man that he secretly loved was in that building. The building was gone. The Moyashi was nowhere to be found. He couldn't move. He could barely see. He couldn't hear anything. His heart slowed down. His body felt heavy.
Suddenly, a body burst up from the rubble. Kanda saw white hair. He saw a scar. he saw a black arm. Kanda smirked. He rushed over to Allen, who was looking pretty rattled. As soon as Allen saw Kanda, he sighed in relief.
"You're okay..."
"Of course I am. I'm not the one who was in a collapsed building."
"I thought you might have been hit by debris."
"I wasn't."
"Good. I wouldn't want you to be."
"WHY?"
"I...I love you."
Kanda leaned down and kissed the tired, hurt Moyashi for his response. All he could feel was relief...and happiness.
Squeeze (pt 1)
When I saw him walk the other way, my heart squeezed. When I saw him hold his hand, my heart squeezed. When I saw him smirk at his goofy grin, my heart squeezed. When I saw them embrace, my heart squeezed. When I saw him kiss him, my heart squeezed.
Kanda and Alma had started going out recently. It kills me a little bit every time Kanda passes me by and doesn't even glance. It hurts so much how Alma unknowingly flaunts the man I love so much. It makes me lose my mind how much they are together. How I'm not a part of Kanda's life. How I never will be.
I clutch the gun in my hand and realize I'm crying. I love Kanda too much. I can't live without him anymore. I can't do this any longer. He loves Alma, and deserves to be happy. Happiness is something I can't give him. I'm not needed, so I might as well kill myself.
The gun feels heavy, almost as heavy as my heart. I lift it though. My arms feel like lead, but I move them. My tears drip down my face and the gun touches my forehead. I whisper a silent prayer. A silent goodbye. A silent "I love you" to the man who isn't there, and never will be.
I squeeze the trigger as hard as seeing them together squeezes my heart. I'm gone.
Space (pt 2)
It feels like I'm tumbling through space. Like I'm not there. Like I am. Like I'm everything and nothing at the same time. I don't feel the pain. I don't feel the sadness. I don't feel anything. I like it. Every jealous feeling, every sad piece of me is gone. It fell into the space.
Suddenly, I feel like I slammed into something. I feel like all my pain was shoved into my head. My hands tremble as I stare into black space, I want to leave this blissful place. I want to leave the place that gave me momentary relief from my problems. I want to face them. I want to live. I can't though, I'm dead. I didn't expect this to be what death was, but I must be dead.
I see a hole up ahead. It's white and looks like it leads somewhere nice. Somewhere important. Maybe I'll feel better if I go through it. So I do. I drift through the hole, leaving the space. Suddenly, I'm plummeting.
Landing (pt 3)
I feel myself slip into consciousness. Everything is black, then I open my eyes. Everything is white. I smell the disinfectant and overly purified air, I take a deep breath. I'm alive. I'm in a hospital. I'm alive.
I feel my head. Bandages. Lots of them. I look at my fingers. Blood, but not much of it. It's a relief to feel these things. My head suddenly feels like a lot of pressure was put on it. It hurts, A LOT. I moan in pain, a nurse approaches quickly.
"Oh! You're awake."
I nod slowly.
"I'll get someone to put pain killers in your IV. I'll be right back, okay?" She rushes off, and comes back with another person who gives me a shot, then refills my IV bag.
I stare in silence at the wall.
"You have a visitor," the nurse says. "Do you want me to send them in?"
I nod, I want to see someone familiar.
She walks out again, and the next person who enters is Kanda. He's alone, and looks nervous, lost, and upset. So much emotion, and it makes me want to cry. I can't though. Not in front of him.
Kanda walks up to the bed and sits in a chair beside me, "Hey."
I nod in response.
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Try to kill yourself."
"I..." I trailed off, I simply couldn't respond to that.
"I had come to see you. I knocked a lot. There wasn't an answer, so I tried the door, and it was unlocked. I walked through your apartment, and I found you in the bedroom. You had put a bullet in your head, and were bleeding out on your bed."
I stared at him, I couldn't respond to that.
"I want to know why."
"Why does it matter?"
"Dammit Moyashi, for fuck's sake, I thought you were dying! I thought you were leaving me!"
I blinked at him, "What?"
"I broke up with Alma. I didn't love him. I love you. When I saw you there, I thought about taking the gun from you and killing myself so I wouldn't have to be without you."
I started to cry, "I was so jealous. I wasn't needed cuz you had Alma. You were happy! I wanted you so bad! I love you so much!"
Kanda smiled softly, "Never do that again."
Trust
Kanda jumped from the clock tower, swinging Mugen in an arc as he fell. He was attacking numerous amounts of akuma as he plummetted to the street. Black blood sprayed as his innocence sliced through the machines. Allen stared down, freaking out. He jumped after him, diving down quickly. He caught up to the other exorcist and grabbed him tightly.
"Clown Belt!" Allen's belt extended, catching a building. From there, they slowly descended to the ground, landing safely. "Why the hell did you do that, BaKanda?!"
"I knew you'd catch me." Kanda said simply and shrugged. "I trust you, Moyashi."
Compulsion
When you realize you love someone you want to be with them on an animal level. It's an instinct. A compulsion to stay close. It's engrained into you, and you can't fight that feeling. No matter what, that compulsion will keep you awake at night, and make you twitchy during the day.
You have the compulsion to touch, hold, hug, and kiss them. You want to be with them badly, and it's a deeper emotion that just being horny. It's deeper than friendship. It's deeper than anything you've felt. When you truly love someone, that's what you feel.
It's torturous to go through the compulsion, but having to hold back. To not be near them. To argue, to fight, to act like you hate them. My room is in shambles because I fell for the Moyashi. I get so frustrated that I destroy the walls and furniture. On missions, it's worse. I have to contain myself so nothing seems strange.
We're on the train, coming back from a mission. My body aches from pent up adrenaline. My mind aches from pent up emotions. I'm laying across my seat tiredly, my eyes shut and my hands on Mugen. I can feel him, he's sitting in the seat across the compartment, he's restless.
"Kanda," he said.
I opened one eye and scowled at him.
"What do you think about?" he asked curiously.
"What?"
"Well, I wanna know more about you. So, were you thinking about?" He looked so innocent...
"I wasn't thinking."
"Impossible. You had to be thinking something."
"I was thinking about my training."
"Is that all you think of?" He asked, he looked a bit let down.
"Of course not. But what I think about is none of your business, Moyashi."
"Why can't it be?"
"What?"
"Why can't it be my business. Why can't we be closer? You're not really very close with anyone."
"There are reasons for that."
"I know Lavi's annoying, Miranda's a klutz, Chaoji is a workaholic, Krory is a bit creepy, and Lenalee is more like a big sister...but why can't we be...close?"
I looked at him, searching his face to see if this was a joke. "Baka."
"Don't call me that! I'm just saying, I..."
"Dammit, Moyashi..." I said impatiently.
"I love you!" He squeaked out.
I sat up better and motioned for him to come closer expressionlessly. When he moved forward hesitantly, I grabbed him around the waist and pulled him closer. I kissed him, and I continued doing so until the train had stopped. It was simply the compusion I felt.