Cheers to mah bud' Nani Lupin for (mostly) naming this.

Conan laid his gadgets out on the desk, the chair creaking and wobbling as he did. He glared at the table lamp, daring the power to go out on him again. What a cheap hotel, he thought with a sigh. It didn't matter anymore. He tapped his pen on the paper, reading it over to ensure nothing was left out. Set aside were letters, each addressed to his closest friends and family. Conan hesitated, feeling more awkward than he thought he should about signing with his real name.

It had been a year and a half since the organization had been more or less brought down. Few people scattered about, mostly having been caught since then. Vermouth had disappeared. He kept an eye for her, knowing she was not one to give up, but he hadn't a clue of where she was or what she might be doing; she had never attempted to contact him in any way. It seemed his identity was safe, perhaps even his real one.

And so, it was decided. There wasn't a point in turning back now. Shinichi Kudo, the name signed to his will.

He leaned back, careful not to let himself fall. He felt a little stupid, as if he were intoxicated. There was nothing like pouring one's heart out in letters. He had spent too much time in his head with his own thoughts and feelings. That had never been something that was good for him. Releasing another sigh, he stared up at the ceiling. Maybe I should have been more honest, he thought, swallowing hard. His guilt at hiding everything ate away at him, leaving a bad taste in his mouth. In the end, he'd inadvertently used other people to get by, even Ran's dad. Conan closed his eyes, wondering what she would think of him once she knew everything.

The people who had known had made it all too easy for him—even Hattori, despite never being able to keep his mouth shut for two seconds. He'd relied on that. But he could never turn back. What was done was done, and even if she hated him, he had done what he had thought right at the time. "No guilt," he muttered to himself, not really believing it.

He dropped onto the bed, a bitter smile on his face at the thought of the spotty ceiling being his last sight. He realized too late the rushing footsteps, the pounding at the door. All the noises bled into eachother before blanking out.

"Kudo!"

That morning, Heiji had stopped his usual banter with Kazuha to answer his phone with a, "Yo."

"Hattori-kun?" came a weak voice from the other end.

"Oh, nee-chan. What's up?" he said with a grin. "What's that little kid up to?"

There was a pause. "I was hoping you'd spoken to him…"

Noticing the sullen voice, Heiji froze. "Is something wrong with Ku-k-kiddo?" He flushed, annoyed with his inability to keep that secret straight even when worried.

"He's… been acting weird and… he didn't come home lastnight." Ran choked on a sob as she rubbed at her eyes.

Well, that wasn't good. Anything could have happened to Kudo, the way he ran into trouble. He stopped to think. "Weird?" He couldn't disagree. Kudo had called him last week and asked if he would do a favor. He hadn't said what or when and had kept the conversation short. Heiji had known he was planning something, but what? "I'm coming to Tokyo," he announced suddenly, bidding Ran goodbye.

Kazuha grabbed his wrist. "Oh no you don't! You can't miss more school!"

"Sorry! Got a new case!" Heiji pulled his wrist away, running off before she could say anymore more. He had to figure out what was going on with Kudo!

Heiji panted, looking up at the Mouri detective agency. What should he ask? He couldn't alert Ran as to his suspicions. Shrugging, he stepped forward until he heard footsteps. Kudo! When he turned, he saw the little girl little Kudo talked to instead. "Hey, what's up?" he asked the girl, unable to remember her name. When he looked more closely, she looked a bit distressed. "Everything okay?" He tried not to let the panic slip into his voice.

Ayumi sniffled, shaking her head. "Conan-kun… Conan-kun said he was going away. He said he wouldn't be back and ran off."

Heiji's blood ran cold, the pieces coming together in his mind. Kudo had been kind of… out of it since the big defeat. He'd always seemed like his old self whenever they came across a case, so he didn't make a big deal out of it, but Heiji had never thought him to be… suicidal. He ran off, needing to find Kudo.

Using his connections to the police, Heiji was able to find the hotel that had charged the card Kudo's parents had given him. He ran as fast as he could, hoping it wasn't too late. Finding the door and double checking the numbers, he slammed his fists against it. "Kudo! Kudo!"

Before Heiji could knock the door down, it opened. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!?" blared the voice of… Kudo!

"Kudo! Yer alive! C'mere, ya little!" Heiji caught him in a bear hug.

"Yeah, I sure am… You can get off me now."

Heiji did so, reassured that his best buddy was there. "Hey, Kudo, you're… you!"

Shinichi glared at him before realization struck. "How did you know? Go snoop into someone else's life!"

"I, well… I was talkin' ta nee-chan and I kind of… Shaddup! I just wanted ta make sure you were good…"

"Thanks… I guess?" Shinichi let Hattori in before he could make more of a ruckus. "Luckily, I'm still in one piece." He got over his annoyance, a smile on his face. "I always knew it would work out, but Haibara said it was still dangerous. I had to take precautions just in case."

Heiji's eyed widened. "You mean… the antidote?"

Shinichi pursed his lips in confusion. "You didn't know? Why are you here then?"

Heiji blistered with nervous laughter. "Uhm. Uh. I just, y'know, was checkin' up on my buddy!"

Shinichi was still confused. "If you wanted to hang out, you could have just said so." He laughed, wondering about Hattori's dramatics. He then turned back to shred those letters, happy he didn't have to spill everything he wanted to say in on paper, just like he knew he wouldn't.