Title: KHAAAAAAAAN!
Rating: M for reasons that will become obvious.
Genre: Humor
Summary: BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT! Left behind by his emperor (that he has an unhealthy obsession with), Shaitan devises a scheme to take over Wakanda and offer the Vibranium to Khan as penance for a failed mission and get back to his home dimension.(one shot)
I don't know if this is slash or not because of the circumstances.
FYI: My Shaitan watches a lot of VH1.
Comic Shaitan: Was a general of Khan (an interdimensional warlord) and was placed in the form of Storm for the purpose of fooling the X-men into not knowing Storm was actually in the care of Khan- who wanted her for his queen. Still with me? Basically, Shaitan is this super strong ghastly evil alien male stuck in a human female's body. And he's referred to as a he, even though he's in a female body.
All characters used in this fic belong to Marvel Comics
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Shaitan was beginning to regret avoiding the debriefing on his new body. Then again, he never imagined he would become stuck in the disgusting weather witch's form here on Earth while she cavorted with his beloved emperor… He unclenched his teeth and concentrated on the task at hand- there was a horny human male in the next room expecting him to provide some kind of sexual service but Shaitan had no idea where to even begin.
He angrily crushed a small metal canister in his hand and unwished the pills he'd popped to get himself through the past few weeks. The drug, Dipthum, was a performance enhancer provided to all of Khan's warriors, although heavy usage tended to leave the memory spotty and behavior erratic, it helped tremendously with repressing painful memories and emotions as well- helping to harden warriors after their kills. He'd gone through his last one to walk down the aisle in a boned corset and was now left to fend for himself in drag, fully lucid, as Ororo Munroe: Queen of Wakanda.
As he stared into the cool, clear glass of the mirror, it reflected that strange and alien body, with its shocking white silken mane, and voluptuous and graceful curves covered with soft, supple flesh the color of the finest coco; he couldn't help but cautiously poke at the space between his legs and wonder what the wet squishy part was good for except for inconveniencing him once a month with cramps and chocolate cravings; and the two chunks of fat on his chest couldn't possibly be less interesting, but they appeared to have a hypnotic power on human males, especially over that damned Gambit, and men couldn't tear their eyes from those gelatinous orb like protrusions. Primitive human bodies…
"Ororo?" T'Challa called from the other room, and Shaitan grew ashen as his blue eyes instinctively searched the room for a weapon, any would do, but found only a sack in the wastebasket next to the marble vanity.
"Just a minute, honey!" He frantically dumped the contents of the trashcan on the floor and held the procured bag over his head in triumph. A good warrior is never un-resourceful!
Shaitan stood in the entrance of the doorway to the king's chambers, now fully robed in red silk and eyeing T'Challa playfully, taking in his magnificent male form; taunt with anticipation, rippled with every slightest movement, the sinuous veins, his massive chest tensing with every breath at the sight of his wife. It was awakening unfamiliar feelings in this human female body of his and he fought valiantly to hide the mixture of anticipation and horror he felt wracking him to his core, "Hey, baby? I'm thinking something kinky tonight. Will you put this black silk bag on your head?"
"Uh, that's not silk. It's plastic." T'Challa raised an eyebrow at Storm's attempt to be brazenly saucy.
"Silly me." Shaitan giggled, rummaging behind him and pulling out a burlap sack that had old laundry in it. "I guess this will have to do. I hope you don't chafe easily. But it is custom of the people I have been born of…"
"I never heard anything like--"
"Do not question me, honey. It is a tradition kept very secret, because I am from the lineage of priestesses, and requires the consummator of my marriage must be a man without a face."
"Isn't that a Billy Idol song?"
"I don't think so." Shaitan closed the tie around the sack tightly, secretly aching to strangle the life from the man before him, but resisting. All good plans require appropriate pace, and now as not the time for the death of the King of Wakanda. "Now, you may sow your manly seed in my womanly dirt!"
"Right…" T'Challa answered, slightly muffled and thoroughly confused from within the burlap sack, and wondering how long he had to stay blinded to please Ororo. This smells like dirty underwear and gym socks. But far be it for him not to suffer for the woman he loved and uphold her traditions sacred to her.
Shaitan curled up on top of the bed against a mountain of feather pillows as he watched T'Challa fumble blindly from the foot of the mattress.
"Um, Ororo?" T'Challa asked, "Where are you?" He listened intently, tuning his senses for the slightest sound and prepared to ravage his new bride for all she was worth in her little game.
"Here I am- Rock me like a Hurricane!" Shaitan said in the huskiest voice he could muster as he tore his silk robe off and threw it at his husband. T'Challa took the cue and lunged for him.
Despite having a bag over his head, T'Challa was quite deft and agile, quickly wrestling Shaitan down and his hands began to travel his wife's body. Goosebumps appeared on 'her' arms and legs and Shaitan immediately realized how useful those 'fat chunks' were as under T'Challa's touch, moans escaped uncontrolled from his quivering flushed female form.
For how inferior these bodies are, this pleasure is excruciatingly exquisite!
He gasped involuntarily as T'Challa consummated their marriage with one fell motion of his scepter of manliness, and their bodies immediately intertwined by instinct, trying desperately to become one.
"I love you, Ororo…" the bag whispered.
For the love of God, shut up! "Let's get it ON!" Shaitan roared zealously, flipping T'Challa on his back with inhuman strength and straddled his husbands gyrating pelvis, bucking against him with the ferocity of a rhinoceros in heat.
As Shaitan's human body responded in ways he never fathomed, his mind began to wander against his will, forcing him over the edge. Damn, I wish this were Khan... ohhh… mmm... Khan... oh my God, he took the bag off his head... think of the power... the power... power... "KHAAAAAAN!" he shrieked at the top of his lungs, his glistening bosom heaving as the spasms of climax rippled through his body.
T'Challa paused in mid stroke, brown eyes wide with horror, "What?"
"Nothing."
"You just screamed 'Khan'!"
"No I didn't," Shaitan rolled his eyes, "Well, not quite. I just became so, um, enraptured with the spell of your manly magic you work over me that I merely slapped King and T'chazza together. Simple mistake."
"T'chazza? T'chaZZa!"
Shaitan's frazzled mind thought fast, "You don't like your pet name?"
T'Challa eyed her suspiciously, "Just call me by my name."
"Can I call you Khan? It sounds so cute… and it will remind us of tonight." he laughed, enlivening his mesmerizing mammaries to work their hypnotic voodoo on his target.
T'Challa sighed. For how scatterbrained Ororo was acting, if they didn't continue he was going to have the worst case of blue balls in the history of mankind. "Not outside the bedroom, ok?" T'Challa began rocking his hips against Shaitan, who returned the motions with unreserved fanaticism.
Victory! Bwahahahaa! "Do not worry… baby… ride the pony and satisfy your funk… where were we?" he asked breathlessly, as another wave of pleasure placed him at the mercy of T'Challa's manakhanda. "Oh yeah… KHAAAAAAAAAN!"
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Musical References:
"Eyes Without a Face" by Billy Idol
"Rock You Like a Hurricane" by Scorpions
"Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye
"Ride the Pony" by Cheap Trick
Anyone else think of Captain Kirk from Wraith of Khan throughout this?
Dedication: For those who felt the marriage between Storm and BP was shoddily done, this is for you.
And major thank you to my anonymous helpers for the exceptionally naughty bits- you know who you are!
NOTE: This was originally posted under 'elfkid's account but has been moved to the new 'stwotx group' account since it is a collab by me and eightcrayondon.
Thanks to Batman.Wolverine, Frique, Darlin, and Wahinetoa for not only reviewing chapter one, but the nicety of your reviews of chapter one!
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