Prologue

"Sometimes we have to deal with our destiny,
escape is inevitable" - Jo Danville

It was cold that night, we had just found the body of the missing boy. It was one of the unsolved cases of my boss. His eyes couldn't hide it, sometimes read him seemed so simple. The stomach completely tangled by the sight of that thin and fragile body. I had seen a lot, and after years .. I still couldn't accept it. This is one of the cons of my work, the obsessive pursuit of coolness "A good detective must be posted" I was told this by my superiors at the FBI. Separate feelings became more difficult every day, why? Things happen that will change, and fate hasn't stopped to take cruelly fun of me. I didn't imagine the least we got to that point. Despite my being "insightful", "affectionate" and "available", our relationship had deteriorated inevitably, he said it was my fault. Maybe I had crossed the threshold, maybe I had invaded his life, I couldn't just stand by and watch the self-destruction of Mac Taylor. I loved him, we were friends, he had a lot to me. I wouldn't hesitate to put my life in his hands.. and now his ice-blue eyes betraying no emotion, if it were not for all that resentment smoldering inside of him.

"Are you sure that you don't want to come with you for the notification by Lewis?" I asked masking the pain I felt.

"Stay here and help Danny and Sheldon to finish the downstairs" he said dryly.

"I'm glad you can give peace to the family after all these years. We see at the office" I said, touching his arm as I walked away.

"Jo" the tone of his voice unmistakable and unambiguous.

"Yeah?" I turned and looked at him hard.

"I'll tell you one time" he paused, seemed interminable.

"Be careful about where sticking your nose.. stay away from my personal business" an expression on his face contracted, his words were throwing stones at me. He only had so little to hurt me. I was dumbfounded, completely speechless at him. How cruel were his intense eyes. I hated it. I had never seen before Mac so adamant, harsh and unsympathetic. The heart was lost in gasps, those dictated by his gestures. I felt hurt. I shut the lips and watched him. I stood there a few seconds to contemplate the sidewalk. I bowed my face and took a deep breath, while among all those I just felt his steps. He did it really? I kept asking myself. The heart into pieces. It was too difficult to accept. I guess I'm a strong woman, but this was really too much even for me. The air escaped away from my lips with each beat. I didn't see it either, something snapped in me. I had to react.

"To hell! Mac Taylor" I shouted so that he could hear me.

He turned to look at me, and gave him back the same look.

"Reject all people who care about you! The truth is that you don't care a damn about what we see.." I raised my voice more and more with tears in the eyes.

"It is not your integrity in stake, you never stopped being my own boss, and damn God knows I would not hesitate to entrust you my life!" I yelled as loud as my throat all my anger.

He was still some distance away. The jaw clenched, tense, nervous, and very angry.

"Isn't putting me to rest that you will solve "your personal business" " I said with a sarcastic smile, it increasingly difficult to hold back tears.

It was still there, his face slightly tilted, rancorous as ever.

"I care about you, you forget that in addition to being colleagues we are friends!" the heart almost came out at those words, I shook my hand on the chest to not feel the pain.

Not a reaction, not a "I'm sorry Jo" nothing.. he stood with his feet planted on the square tiles of the sidewalk staring at me.

"Would you go me out of your life, isn't it?" I asked with the voice broken. I bitterly realized that he was rejecting me. All we had passed did not count anything for him if he was ready to hurt me so deep.. just because I couldn't and didn't want to see him suffer.

He continued to keep a straight face.

"I'll settle you, Detective Taylor! I will disappear, as you wish!" I spread out my arms with a sarcastic smile.
I looked at his eyes one last time, and I held back the tears as I could. I gave him the shoulders and went back into the building. Maybe a part of me was hoping that he would follow me, but it didn't happen.