Brain muscles, butt knuckles and things that don't exist - a voyager parody
Disclaimer- the characters ships and themes don't belong to me although I like to imagine they do!
AN#1- this is what happens when you imagine what life would be like on voyager then captain janeway and her crew just won't go away!
Author- captain jojo
Captain janeway- Kate mulgrew
Chakotay- Robert beltran
Tom Paris- Robert Duncan McNeil
B'ellanna Torres- Roxanne Dawson
Harry Kim- Garret Wang
Author- today was a normal day on the U.S.S. voyager and-
Janeway- wait a second in all the seven years we've been stuck in the delta quadrant we haven't celebrated my birthday once!
Author- well you're not now… where was I… ah yes it was a normal day and voyager was getting ready for the slap fairy to come-
Janeway- come on everybody knows there's no such thing as a sleep fairy and how would she-
Kim- THE SLEEP FAIRY DOSENT EXIST! (Starts crying hysterically)
Author- everybody shut up and let me write. this is my fan fiction
Janeway- but I'm the captain so it should be MY fan fiction
Author- Okay we'll write it together but it's mostly mine
Janeway- okay, fine
Author- voyager is getting ready for the sleep fairy to come and harry Kim is getting his tea in the mess hall before he goes to bed.
Kim- (finally shuts up) yay
Author- (gives him THE LOOK)
Kim- (shuts up and falls asleep)
Author- thank god for that!
Paris- here here
Author- Harry goes to his quarters puts on his Pj's and falls asleep. Meanwhile on the bridge captain janeway is on the night shift and she is-
Janeway- enjoying a cup of black coffee whilst sitting regally in her chair.
Author- (to the side) before embarrassing herself in front of her true love, chakotay by letting off a large burp.
Janeway- what was that
Author- nothing…. Anyway…. There was nothing happening on the delta shift that night and she was close to sleep-
Janeway- wrong, a good Starfleet captain never sleeps on her own bridge.
Author- exactly…. AND SHE WAS CLOSE TO SLEEP!
Janeway- harrumph (mumbles angrily and rubs hands evilly)
Author- can it or I'll get the doctor to cancel all your coffee
Janeway- fine! (Gets up and walks off B'ellanna takes her place.)
Author- finally someone with some sense.
Torres- don't tell anyone, 'cause I'm the bad character of this TV show and I refuse to lose that post to some Borg the captain decides to free just because she had a caffeine overload!
Author- Okay then when suddenly-
Torres- the warp core went into mumble grumble technobabble blah blah de blah and chief engineer B'ellanna Torres declared a code red emergency.
Author- we want to entertain the people not bore them to death!
Torres- fine then ask them what they want to happen.
AN#2- and so I will ask you any ideas any at all and I will try to incorporate them into my story
p.s. before you attempt to ask yes, I am completely mad!
Thanx. Captainjojo x