The stress of fall semester final exams is getting to me. I literally woke up at 7:30 in the morning and took four hours writing a six-seven page term paper for my Reading Fiction class, and that was just this morning. I'm tired; not tired of writing, though. Now, I'm just taking a break to rest and write some more for BTR. Despite their show no longer being on air, they are my greatest inspiration. I love them, thanks guys for being the best option to release stress apart from my work-out sessions. Okay, so here's another AU (I've been writing a lot of those, lately) with Jagan and Kames. It's Jagan at the beginning but ends with Kames; this story idea came to me while listening to Mateus Ward's song 'Without A Warning' featuring Leah Lewis. The song is really good; I'm not a big fan of rap, but I do appreciate it when it's well done. And the lesson of the song, it helped me a lot with the guy who hurt me. He was my ex-boyfriend and he caused me a lot of pain and trouble, but in the end my heartache is gone and there is someone better in my life now. So enjoy. I dedicate this to Kames all the way; sweetie, you are an amazing author. I've read two of your works and even though I didn't review them, I did enjoy reading them, please take this one shot as a sign of appreciation and encouragement. You are amazing. Disclaimer: I don't own BTR or the song referenced in this one shot. I only own the plot of the one shot, but nothing else. Also, despite it being Jagan at the beginning, Logan is not a jerk nor am I bashing Jagan. In fact I have an appreciation for Jagan and Logan did not do what my ex-boyfriend did to me, far from it actually, but I love Kames as well so I decided to put both pairings in this one shot. Also no Cargan, sorry everyone but if a sequel for this one is requested, then it will have Cargan in it. Again, please enjoy. Oh, and the guys are in college in this one shot too again, just commuters instead of on-campus students.
"Aren't you excited, bro? Tonight is Lucy's party, it's music and fun all in a nice campy setting!" Carlos Garcia exclaimed, clapping his taller friend on the back.
James Diamond, a tall brunette with dark skin and hazel-green eyes, smiled weakly at his shorter friend's enthusiasm. If he only he shared it. He did a few weeks ago, heck he was so pumped for it that he didn't get a wink of sleep; now on the day before the bash, however, all he wanted was to crawl into a hole and die.
He was plain miserable on the inside, but masked his depression well with a smirk here and there, a wink or two too. He didn't want to bring down Carlos' mood, even though he knew very well that if the other suspected he was upset, the Latino firecracker would do whatever it took to make the pretty boy laugh. That's what made Carlos a great friend, James' best friend.
"Yeah, just a few more hours to go, buddy. I'm still trying to decide what to wear, though." James replied, going for small-talk. It would make the walk home from school speed up; he didn't want to keep pretending he was okay, he felt bad about faking around Carlos.
The shorter boy eyed his friend wearily, chocolate eyes wide; usually James would be rambling on about how he would make himself look dead-dead gorgeous for the party, and for his boyfriend/their best friend Logan Mitchell. But come to think of it, the brunette hasn't brought up the smart raven at all today...
"Yeah right, umm are you okay? James, you seem a little off and you haven't talk about Logan all day; you two having problems or something?" Carlos asked, tone soft as he stopped and placed a hand on his friend's strong shoulder. James sighed and pasted on another smile, heart thumping hard in his chest though.
'Great, and I thought I was working hard on my theatre major! Turn on the actor charm, Diamond, and quick!'
"I'm fine, bro. Me and Logan are okay, just...you know, we just had a fight. It wasn't a big one though, so don't worry about me." James said, ignoring his annoyed thought and forcing his smile to grow as he playfully ruffled Carlos' already messy crow black hair.
The hyper Latino gave him an 'Are you kidding me?' look but didn't press him, they now at the front of the small apartment they shared off P-W campus. "Whatever you say bro, but I'm still here if you need to talk okay?" He said, pulling out his key and unlocking the door.
"Yeah, thanks man. I'm going to finish up my outline for Speech Comm. in my room, just holler if you need me." James called after the shorter boy before heading up the stairs to his room.
-Page Break-
James sighed and collapsed onto his bed, backpack dumped on his desk chair.
He didn't have a stupid outline to finish for Speech Comm. He lied about that so Carlos wouldn't continue hounding him about Logan; he finished all his work in advance so not to have anything to worry about over Christmas break.
Great, Christmas break; he had been excited about Lucy's party tomorrow night, and about going back home to Minnesota for the whole month to be with his mom but now all his spirits were crushed.
Now, all he wanted was to stay behind and cry and sleep the break away.
Why? Because Logan Mitchell, his best friend of forever and boyfriend of almost two years broke up with him, about two months ago.
James' stomach twisted painfully just thinking about it.
It had happened without a warning; Logan had texted him to meet up after classes one Tuesday. James was a theatre major and Logan a biology major, both had hectic schedules their freshmen year but managed to have weekends and afternoons together, either studying or having a mini-date eating dinner or lunch in the café. Logan texted him saying he had to tell him something important, and that's when James knew something was wrong. If anything urgent came up, Logan would come to him instead of sending a text for them to meet up; the smart raven didn't beat around the bush, especially when it came to his dear boyfriend. It only took minutes for James to gather his stuff and leave study hall (he had to have at least three hours a week of S.H., because he was on the swim team) for the small park only blocks away from the university, where he and Logan always met up.
That afternoon became the worst in James' life, almost as bad as when he got home from school one day and learned his parents were getting a divorce, when he was in fourth grade.
Logan had sat him down on a bench (their bench, the one they would sit on and snuggle for hours) and with a deep breath, said that they needed to see other people. That alone made James' voice crack from upcoming tears, he going into a frenzy as to why the sudden bomb out of the blue. Logan, with teary eyes, had said that they were growing apart, that their busy schedules barely left time for them to be together and that was a strain on their relationship; he made it clear that he wasn't breaking up with James for Camille, a brunette fan girl that practically stalked Logan (she was a theatre major too, James remembered with bitterness) everywhere he went, but that he was thinking about James, thinking what was best for him. James' major asked a lot of him, and Logan didn't want be in the way of his boyfriend's dream. James has been through a lot as a kid: the bullying, the divorce, he deserved to have something to look forward to.
But to James, it did not sound like that.
It sounded like Logan was throwing in the towel on their relationship; they've been in college for only six months or so, no way this was a spur of the moment decision. Logan wanted to end it, when they were just starting to see how strong their love was.
Apparently ten years of friendship and two years as boyfriends wasn't strong enough to overcome crazy college life.
But despite the pain he was in that day, James didn't try to retain Logan at his side; he swallowed his tears, swallowed his sobs and nodded, leaving silent and numb the park afterwards. Of course he did break down once he was safe in his room, but he was still surprised he managed to keep his composure in front of Logan, after the smart raven practically ripped his heart out.
James flinched when he felt a pang go off in his chest.
He sat up and ran a hand through his soft, wind-swept caramel brown hair.
'I have to stop this, really I do. He broke my heart but it's okay, right? That means I'm single, so no one to stay true to. I can be with whoever I want.' He tried to convince himself of that but in the end wanted to slap himself.
He was no man-whore; he may be a flirt and pretty boy, but cheater or man-whore he was not! After all, he saw how that worked out for his dad; it ended with a divorce and he marrying a woman fifteen years younger than his mom. No, he wasn't going to stoop to that!
But then how to get rid of this broken heart?
James' eyes fell on his bedside table, where a framed picture of him and Logan stood. With a heavy lump in his throat he picked up and stroked the glass fondly, the glass over Logan's right cheek.
The picture was taken on their first six-month anniversary; Logan had gotten tickets to a carnival, knowing James loved carnivals, and so took him out for a night of fun after a nice dinner and movie. They were sitting in the photo booth, smiling brightly into the camera; James was sitting on the shorter boy's lap, his arms around Logan's neck while Logan hugged him close around the waist. Both were blushing hard but their eyes were shining, clear that that night had been a blast.
A lone tear pelted the glass, James groaning as his vision grew blurry with tears.
After so many dates, so many nights of constant texting kisses and goodnights, after so much together it was all gone.
Just like that, in a blink of an eye.
'James Dylan Diamond, stop crying right now! Yes your ego and heart are broken, but tomorrow after classes Christmas break starts! A whole month, just you and your mom and the snow days of Sherwood! You and Carlos and snowball fights, sledding and Mama Garcia's famous hot cocoa, all of that so close! And plus there's Lucy's party tomorrow night, she rented out a cabin not too far from here, just for tomorrow night! You have all that going for you so cheer up, it's not the end of the world! You poured all your blood, sweat and tears into your good grades first semester, you deserve this so chill!' The more logical part of his brain shouted, its pitch making James flinch a little. But he sighed again, this one not as heavy.
His logical side was right; he worked his ass off this first semester of college and survived it, big time! So Logan broke up with him, it's not the end of the world! He had so much to look forward to be down in the dumps!
"I just hope I can keeping thinking this way all day tomorrow." He whispered before checking the time; his alarm clock read 8:45 P.M.
'Wow, that theater club meeting took longer than I thought; so lucky Carlitos is such a patient person, well sometimes.' James thought as he yawned, quick to change into his pajamas before crawling back into bed under the covers; he was out as soon as his head hit the pillow, the picture forgotten back on the bedside table.
-Page Break-
James and Carlos began to strip out of the clothes they wore to classes the next day for outfits more party-favorable, them stressing since they only had an hour to get to the cabin and they yet have to print out the directions.
"Hey Jay, what do you think?" James put down his eyeliner (hey, some guys can wear eyeliner and pull it off!) and turned to his best friend/apartment mate, smiling when he saw the excited yet jumpy glimmer in those soft chocolate eyes.
Carlos was wearing a pair of tight black skinny jeans, dark blue converses and a light pink button-up shirt, a purple-and-pink tie loose around his neck. He had on a leather jacket because it was a little cool out, his new buzz cut do really making his eyes stand out.
James blushed, a smile on; even though his feelings for Carlos were strictly platonic, he had to admit his best friend looked hot.
"I swear, you're going to have all the guys there floundering for you, Carlitos!" He exclaimed, that making the jumpy glimmer leave Carlos as he grinned and rubbed the back of his neck.
"You really think I look good, bro?" Carlos usually wasn't shy, but was sometimes so when it came to his appearance.
'So cute, little brother.' James thought before he nodded.
"Why would I lie to you, buddy? Want me to go all honest on your butt, then I will! You're looking so hot that if we weren't brothers, I'd date you." James said, that making Carlos blush and laugh out loud.
"Thanks man, I know I can always count on you! You ready?"
"I think so, what do you think?" James said, rising from his desk and doing a little strut so Carlos could see him from every angle.
James was wearing his whole, thick-rimmed glasses, which showed off his hazel-green eyes; he decided against wearing contacts, since the cabin was near a lake and he and Carlos were planning for a swim later. He had thick eyeliner on which made said eyes pop even more, his hair wild and spiky. He had on a pair of dark washed skinnies with tears at the knees, white tennis shoes and a dark green V-neck. He had on a black zip-up hoodie, the zipper all the way down, and his lucky woven bracelet on his left wrist; it was purple and had his zodiac sign, which was Libra. The silver promise ring that Logan gave him a year ago he left behind on the bedside table, where the picture of them was flat on its face.
Carlos, in the back of his mind, knew something was off between James and Logan from looking at the promise ring; James rarely took that thing off, only when in the shower. The fact that he was purposely not touching it was a red flag.
"Carlos, hello? Bro, do I look good or not?" James asked, curious as to why his friend spaced out; Carlos blinked before he smiled, nodding.
"Looking smoking hot, my brother! I swear that if those guys aren't hounding me, they'll surely go after your rum!" He said with a wink, James rolling his eyes.
The fact that James didn't mention Logan there raised another red flag.
"Hopefully that if that happens, the cabin has a bunch of secret doorways in which I can disappear into from the stalkers." James said, that making Carlos and him laugh.
"Ha, right! So you ready to get on the road? Wait I forgot, we didn't print out the directions to the cabin!"
"No problem, bro; I finally worked out the GPS thing on my phone, and I had Lucy text me all the details a few minutes ago. Let's roll." Carlos grinned.
"Always a step ahead, bro! Let's get to it, I'll drive!"
-Page Break-
"Guys you made it, for a second there I was worried you got lost!" Lucy Stone joked as she hugged her friends quickly before leading them inside.
The party was at full-swing; everybody they knew from Palm Woods University was there, Mercedes Griffin and Jo Taylor (the pretty, but sometimes mean, girls), Alec (AKA Guitar Dude) and Jett Stetson (the egomaniac), the Jennifers and Dak Zevon, James' best friend in theatre club.
And, with James swallowing hard, Logan and Camille, said girl chatting away to the bored-looking raven.
Carlos saw how James' smile turned into a tight one, he reaching out and rubbing the taller boy's back in comfort; James silently thanked him, they trying to keep up their moods for the sake of Lucy.
"Us, lost? Please, I'm the GPS whiz." James said, waving that off; Carlos rolled his eyes.
"Then why did we have to stop three times if you knew what you were doing, bro?" He asked.
"Shut up, man." Lucy snickered, her red-streaked black hair up in a messy bun.
"Okay chill now, guys. This is a party, remember? Just have fun! Talk, mingle, eat and dance, whatever floats your boat! But no fooling around in the rooms upstairs, you hear me?! I so don't want to do clean-up duty!" She said, switching from joking to serious as she wagged her finger at them. The two nodded and saluted her as if in the Army.
"Yes, sir! Umm ma'am, sorry!" They tripped over their words on purpose, making Lucy playfully glare and elbow them in the ribs before disappearing into the crowd.
"But you got to hand it to Lucy, bro. This place is killer!" Carlos said, serving him and James (non-alcoholic) drinks from a nearby table. James smiled and nodded, agreeing the whole way.
The cabin looked so small on the outside, but was huge inside; the walls and roof made of smooth brown wood that gave off a sweet scent, like cinnamon (no chocolate, Lucy didn't like chocolate) and pine (she was allergic to flowers). All the furniture had been pushed up against the walls to make the dance floor bigger, the carpet a rich crème. Lucy, with help from Alec and Dak, had set up tables for drinks, snacks and for little mingle spots and the lighting switched to different colors each time a new song played.
It was a little chaotic, since the party-goers were college kids, but it was still peaceful with the view of the woods and lake outside.
"Yeah, I wouldn't mind living here; our apartment has a too big of a mosquito problem." James answered, sipping his iced tea.
"But we'd have that problem here too, or no?"
"Still, pretty beautiful out here right?"
"James...?"
'Oh no!' James screamed in his head, but sighed and turned to see Logan standing there, wearing a guilt-ridden expression on his face.
"Logan." James struggled to keep his voice steady, but his eyes were already burning. Logan swallowed, one hand in left back pocket of his light blue skinnies; he was wearing a black button-up long-sleeve with an open vest over it, and blue high-tops.
James flinched. He noticed a shine of silver on Logan's other hand; he was still wearing his ring, even though he was the one who broke up with James. Camille was nowhere in sight, he probably snuck away when she wasn't looking.
'How can he wear that ring when he broke the promise we made?!' James' logical (and often more aggressive) side kicked in but the brunette mentally kicked it away, moving his eyes away from the pale-skinned, mocha brown-eyed boy that he once thought was his guardian angel.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Can we talk, in private? Please, it's important." Logan began; exactly what he said in the text the day he broke it off with the pretty boy.
'No, you didn't have my back, you ditched me and gave me such a lame-ass excuse! Why the hell would I hear you out now, when it's obvious you came here with Camille, as your freakin' date!'
"S-sorry Logan, but I don't feel so good. Excuse me." James handed Carlos his half-full glass and pushed his way through the crowd, opening the backdoor and heading out into the woods.
"James, wait! What is going on here?!" Carlos turned to Logan, eyeing his other best friend dangerously; Logan sighed, trying to think of a way to tell the whole story.
-Page Break-
James ran until he reached the lake, stripping off his hoodie and shirt and jeans. Left in his swim shorts (he thought it would have been better to wear them under his clothes, than to change into them later for the swim), he let out a frustrated yell and ran his hands through his hair.
"Why the hell did I ran off like that, now he's probably thinking I haven't moved on! Jesus Christ, I'm so fucking stupid!" Normally James wasn't one to curse, but when he was upset there was no filter on his language.
He kicked his clothes aside and let out another frustrated yell before throwing his strong, slender body forward, the icy touch of the now rippling waves feeling so harsh that it brought a strange sort of pleasure to his stomach. He threw his arms and pushed himself hard, as if he was at swim practice; he didn't know how long it had been until he finally swam back to shore, but he knew that if he didn't show his face soon that Carlos would start to worry.
With a heavy sigh he began shaking water out of his ears and hair before tugging his V-neck over his head, not bothering to pull on his jeans and shoes since he was still dripping wet and his feet were in the mud. After pulling on his jacket he sat down near the edge where the ground met the water, arms around his legs.
'Why did I do that? I haven't moved on but I didn't need to make it too obvious! God why did I come, I had a feeling he'd come because he's Lucy's friend too and I didn't think to just ditch! What a stupid, bogus move!' The brunette continued to berate himself, raking his scalp with his fingernails.
"Damn it, why?!"
"James...is that, is that you?"
Said brunette jumped at the new voice, turning around to expect Carlos.
Only to feel his heart jump and eyes go wide, a rather large gasp tearing free from his lips.
A boy his age stood there, the lights of the cabin making his outline glow a sliverish-white. He had pale peach skin, huge eyebrows and dirty blonde hair, cut short and wild. He had big, deep bottle green eyes and high cheekbones, a blunt nose and a runner's body that was traced well by his skin-tight white t-shirt. He had a blue plaid button-up over it and light washed skinny jeans, barefoot; his shoes and socks were a few feet away. His expression was deeply surprised, yet his eyes shined, hopeful.
James couldn't believe it...!
"K-Kendall...?"
-Page Break-
"K-Kendall?" James repeated, scrambling to his feet and pressing one hand to his chest; he could feel his heart racing, shortness of breath.
'I must be dreaming...' But then there was a flash of recognition in the other's eyes, and James knew he couldn't be dreaming.
'Oh my God...!'
"Kendall!" The dirty blonde was nearly knocked off his feet when the brunette tackled him in a hug, Kendall having to spin on his heel to regain his balance but he wrapped his arms tightly around the taller boy's waist, both closing their eyes.
"Oh my God, oh my God! Oh my God, Kendall!" James found himself sobbing into the other's neck, grip tight on his shoulders.
"James, it is you." Kendall whispered, James smiled; it was still the same voice Kendall had before he moved away. It hasn't changed, it was still boyish and low but strong and firm, it was still the same voice James remembered; it was still the same Kendall Knight, even if he has changed a bit physically over the years.
"Oh my God, how are you here? W-when did you get here, you k-know Lucy?" James began blurting out questions, pulling away and they sitting down on the moist, soft grassy mud.
Kendall smiled weakly, too overwhelmed with the joy of seeing James again to do more. "Lucy is an old girlfriend of mine, but we're more like brother and sister now. S-she told me about this party, about her Christmas break starting today and...mine started today too so she invited me over. I-I got here just a few hours ago, from New York." He explained, smile growing when he saw joy light up James' beautiful hazel-green eyes.
'Wow, he's changed and yet he's still the same; he's still so beautiful, so nice...' Kendall thought fondly, James soon finding his voice again.
"R-really, you two are friends? B-but she never talked about you, I had n-no idea! Oh God, why didn't you tell me you were moving away? It hurt, to have found out from the neighbors that you l-left Sherwood..." James said, feeling tears streaming down his cheeks; he didn't bother to wipe them away though, but they weren't tears of pain or sadness.
He wasn't sad or hurt at all; he was feeling as if he was on cloud nine.
Kendall flinched, as if someone had taken a crowbar to his head. He sighed, looking away to hide the pain now shining in his eyes. "I-I couldn't tell you, Jamie. I just couldn't; we promised each other to always be there for one another, and when me and my family had to move because my aunt insisted...I just couldn't tell you. I wouldn't have minded telling someone else, but not you, J-Jamie. I couldn't do it, and I know this is years late but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left like that, James." Kendall said, biting his lower lip; James remembered he always did that when he was upset or worried about something.
It's been seven years (Kendall moved away around their last year in middle school) and yet James still remembered little things about the blonde that he's missed for so long.
Kendall looked at James confused when the pretty boy threw himself at him in another hug, Kendall now almost on his back when James rested between his legs, hands on his chest.
The brunette began laughing, tears streaming like small rivers down his soft cheeks. "Sounds like you, Kenny."
"Huh, what do you mean?" James wiped at his eyes, smiling.
"You always protected me, Kendall; through the bullying in school, when I would feel as if I wasn't good enough or whatever, you always did your best to make sure I was okay. I won't lie, you not telling me you were moving hurt me like heck." Kendall flinched again, feeling tears burning the back of his eyes now; he was surprised even more, however, when James' smile only grew in size.
"I was hurt when you left, Kendall. I was hurt really badly but...but I'm just glad to have you back here! That's all that matters to me right now, oh God thank God you're back!" James exclaimed, burying his face into Kendall's neck again as he held him in a tight hug, sobbing quietly.
Kendall gave off a watery smile and closed his eyes, hugging the pretty boy back just as tightly. "I missed you too, James. And I'm glad I'm back here, with you."
-Page Break-
After Lucy's party, Kendall and James spent the whole Christmas break together. Turns out that Kendall was a transfer student and was going spend the next three years at Palm Woods University, starting out as a freshman for the spring semester like the pretty boy. It warmed James' heart deeply to know that the dirty blonde wasn't go to leave, that he wasn't going to get up and leave him again.
The weeks that followed the two reconnected; James shared stories about his high school years with Carlos and Logan, while Kendall talked about his time in New York. From what he said, his mom Jen was doing great and so was his baby sister Katie; they couldn't come up to Minnesota but wished Kendall a good time, since Brooke insisted (and won easily, you never tell James' mom no!) he stay with her and James for the break. James told Kendall everything: about the hard times, the good times in high school, about working on his theatre major, how he was liking Cali and P-W, but also about his break-up with Logan. At first Kendall was shocked to hear that Logan and James had dated in the past; he must have been oblivious to any attraction the smart raven felt for the tallest boy in their group, but he was more shocked to hear that Logan had ended it all. Sure he didn't know how to feel about the thought of James and Logan having a past relationship, but he was still their friend and had given the pretty boy the congrats. That is, until James told him about the break-up.
James told him about how the two were close when they were dating, how everything had been great before they became college kids. He told them about the two months that had been complete hell, and how James still had deep feelings for the raven; two months sometimes isn't enough to heal a broken heart. Despite all that, however, James told Kendall about his determination to move on. Life was too short to sit and wait for love, and too short to be suffering over a dead relationship. He did love Logan, but that was gone now; he had to move on, for his sake, and to be free. In all honesty James didn't want to go back to Logan, even though his heart at the time wanted to. He still considered him his friend, one of his best friends, but the love was just going away over time.
He had fallen in love, Logan had been practically his whole world, the air he breathed. But now, now it's all different.
James was glad he could spill his heart to Kendall; he trusted Carlos sure, but something about Kendall's nature made it easier to say what he felt inside. Maybe it was the fact the blonde didn't say lies about how he'll be better in no time, or tried to choke him with hugs. He'd just rub James' back and hear him out, listening carefully and only speaking when he was sure the brunette was done.
Oh God, how James had missed Kendall.
-Page Break-
"I swear, the actor who does Captain America is so hot." James said, as he and Kendall watched The Avengers. The two were in the Diamond living room, bundled up with blankets, pillows and cups of hot cocoa. James' mom Brooke was out on an errand and they were too tired from playing in the snow the other day, so the two popped in a few hero movies, made popcorn and got cozy.
Kendall rolled his eyes, smiling with a piece of popcorn caught between his two front teeth. "Please, Iron Man is the model of hotness, though Hawkeye is a close second." James shook his head.
"No way, Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner!"
"Umm, wrong! Tony Stark and Clint Barton!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
The two shot mock glares at each other and put down their hot cocoa; they laughed and yelped as they started a pillow fight, both soon running out of energy since the hot cocoa didn't have so much sugar to keep them standing. They collapsed back into the pillows and smiled at each other, faces flushed.
"We're such kids." James said; Kendall shrugged but grinned, showing off his straight white teeth.
"Yeah but it's great to be a kid; just because we're in college, doesn't mean we can't have fun once in a while!" He pointed out.
"True." James said, starting to smile when he noticed something.
"Umm, Kenny?"
"Yeah?" Kendall asked, scrunching up his nose. James looked down.
"Umm, we're holding hands." Kendall's eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets at this, he looking down to see...their hands were indeed laced together, pale peach and rich caramel skin against skin.
Kendall made to pull his hand free, at a loss on what to say but all changed when they locked eyes. Deep bottle piercing into rich hazel, James looking a little scared but...he had a light blush across his cheeks.
Kendall could feel his face heating up as well, his mind telling him to look away though his body was angling forward, slowly and carefully.
He could hear James take in a sharp breath through his teeth and started to back off a little, when he saw James start to copy his movements, both pushing the blankets between them away.
It was slow, gentle, the kiss they shared; it was a little awkward since their bodies were at uncomfortable angles, but both could agree on one thing when the kiss was broken and they were left to stare at each other with flushed faces.
They even had the same thought: 'W-we...we kissed.'
-Page Break-
Logan sighed as he finished his psychology paper; three months into the new semester and already he's used his laptop more than he did back in high school. He closed his textbook and got up from his desk, deciding to take a nap on a now no longer busy Saturday, when a knock came to his bedroom door.
'I wonder who that can be? Wait, I hope Alec didn't forget his key again.' He thought with a gentle eye-roll. He headed for the door when a second series of knocks came.
"Coming! Alec, did you forget your-" Logan began saying as he undid the lock and opened the door, only to lose words when he saw who it was.
James.
"James?" He choked out, the brunette in pair of blue skinny jeans and wearing a Captain America hoodie. He had his glasses on and his hair was messier than usual, he probably just woke up from a nap or something.
The brunette smiled kindly but cautiously, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. "Hey, Logan." His tone was soft, friendly.
"J-James, umm what is it?"
"Can I talk to you?" Logan didn't respond but gestured for James to come inside, the brunette taking a deep breath as he crossed the doorframe, looking around the room. Books everywhere, a coffeemaker nearby for hot tea; typical Logan, the same person he's known since they were kids.
"W-what do you want to talk about, James? I mean, there's something I want to talk to you about, but you didn't give me a chance that night at Lucy's party." Logan said softly, James smiling apologetically.
"Yeah, sorry I ran off like that. I...I wasn't ready to face you yet then, Logie. I was still broken up and just seeing you really threw me off." James admitted. Logan winced.
"I'm sorry, James."
"No don't be, because it's okay now." Logan looked at him with a mixture of surprise and hope; wait, did that mean that James will take him back?
"It's okay now because..." James reached into his hoodie's front pocket and took Logan's left hand in his; he sighed before he...pressed the promise ring into the smart raven's palm, the sight of it snapping Logan's heart right down the middle.
"Y-you're returning it?" His voice was high, almost cracking. James sighed and nodded.
"Yeah, I am. Logie, when you broke up with me...it felt like my whole world came crashing down on me. I was heartbroken, I cried because I thought I kept you above everyone else on the front most part of my mind. All I wanted, apart from working on my theatre major, was to graduate from college, marry you and have a family. I'm a romantic at heart, and I know some college kids don't think about that, but you were everything to me. Logan, you were my first love, and I'll never forget that.
Logan swallowed hard; the next words, they would surely break him.
"But now...now I moved on. You breaking up with me, it came without a warning; I didn't see it coming, and I wasn't ready for it. When I told you I...l-loved you, I meant and so when we were done, I was destroyed. I gave you my heart, and in the end it wasn't expecting the pain I felt when we were over. And I know hearing this makes you feel as if you're the worst of the worst but you're not. I'm not here to make you feel bad, or anything of the sort. I'm here to say that...that even though I don't love you the way I use to, you're still my best friend and always will be. I still care about you, I don't hate you and I needed you to know that our friendship won't die from this, I promise it won't.
James closed Logan's fingers around the promise ring, feeling strong, in control. "And I'm here to thank you. Thank you for the great times you gave me; I will never forget them. You were my first love, and that's something I don't think anyone can ever forget. You were my first love...but now, thanks to you, I found my true love. The person I'm meant to be with. And even though it killed me inside at first, in the end the break-up made me stronger and I was able to find that person I've been waiting for.
Logan felt dizzy, head spinning.
"It's Kendall. Kendall, he...he's the one that I've been waiting for. I'm not saying I used you or that I didn't love you, I did; I loved you and I still do, it's different now but I do. But thank you, because he is the one. I would have never been reunited with him if it wasn't for you, so please don't forget that I love you, Logan. Thank you, and please...save this ring, for the person you've been waiting for. Give that person all your love, and don't let them go okay? I care about you, and I'll always be your friend, Logie. Always..." James finished all in one breath, tears falling but he smiling.
Logan bit his lower lip, nodding with tears falling as well. James pressed a gentle kiss to the smart boy's cheek, taking his hand away from his.
"I-I understand."
"I'm sorry, Logan."
"I'm sorry too, James."
-Page Break-
James sighed as he sat alone outside the P-W's auditorium, fiddling with his jacket zipper. It was a nice Saturday evening, most of the campus vacant since most students went back home; he and Carlos stayed though since they couldn't afford to go back to Minnesota every weekend.
He has been waiting for the last ten minutes, chewing on his lower lip.
"James, what's wrong? Are you okay, your text worried me!" Kendall came running out of his car, falling to his knees before the brunette and taking his hands. His deep bottle green eyes shined with concern, though the shine soon took on a confused turn when James smiled up at him.
"Jamie, what's wrong? Is everything alright?" Kendall asked again, and James nodded.
"Sometimes things happen without a warning, and your heart gets broken; and even though it hurts at first, sometimes what came without a warning can make that person realize...that they can love again." James whispered. Kendall's heart skipped several beats, tears burning his eyes now.
W-was James trying to say that...?
"J-James...?"
"K-Kendall...I love you." James whispered, wiping his tears away, smile watery but bright.
Kendall couldn't find the words to describe what he was feeling; tears streamed down his cheeks and he began laughing, shaking from the intensity of the joy he was feeling. "Y-you do?"
"Yes, I love you, Kendall."
"I love you too, James..."
-Page Break-
'You better take good care of him, Kendall. Treat him right, be there for him, and don't make any mistakes that will hurt him. Don't make the same mistake I did; hold him tight.' Logan thought sadly, wiping his eyes before he left back to his room, smiling despite of his broken heart when he heard James laugh.