Disclaimer: I own very little.

A/N: Written for Sengoku's birthday. (Again, this was almost on time on LJ.) Because Davide got a lover's spat for his birthday -- For Your Smile -- of course I had to do better for the other lovely redhead and write some angst.

I'm awfully sorry, Sengoku, but nothing else would come out before I wrote this...

Growing Old

"Well, isn't this such a great welcoming committee."

Akutsu raised his eyebrows at Sengoku's comment. "That's what you get for not telling anyone you're coming back."

"Could be," Sengoku admitted with a grin. "It's been years, hasn't it? Four at least?"

"Five since we last heard of you." Akutsu's voice was one of perfect indifference, but his eyes flickering momentarily to Sengoku and away told a completely different story.

"…I'm sorry." He'd never meant to lose contact, but it hadn't exactly been his choice – life had been so hectic, and he'd lost old contact information, or numbers and addresses had changed, or he simply never got a response. And here he was, returning to Japan, and he'd only managed to reach one of his old friends just the day before so as not to come back to nobody waiting.

…Wait a minute. Just one friend? As they started walking out of the airport, Sengoku glanced around, hoping to catch a glimpse of a familiar mop of blue hair, or to hear a cheerful greeting. However, neither happened. It seemed Akutsu had indeed come alone.

"…Where's Dan-kun?" Sengoku was really curious, now. For as long as he could remember, the two had been practically inseparable. So where was the little guy now?

"He left me." Akutsu's voice was cold, uninterested, like he'd been discussing a particularly boring example of the recent weather. Nevertheless, even after all these years, Sengoku knew enough to hear the hurt in the voice.

"…I'm sorry." Sengoku didn't bother to ask for explanations. He knew none would be given, anyway. "So… you are single nowadays, then?"

"Nope." Before Sengoku could even wonder what Akutsu's new partner looked like, then, or how long it had taken him to replace Dan, the silver-haired man continued. "Guess you could say I'm a widower."

"You mean… Dan-kun…" Sengoku wasn't sure how to finish his sentence. It was too unbelievable, too… surreal.

"Yeah." Akutsu looked somewhere far away, his expression unreadable. "Three years ago."

"Oh, shit, Akutsu." Sengoku almost choked on his voice. "I – I really am sorry."

There were no words, in response, no other acknowledgement of his words than a non-committal grunt. However, as Sengoku watched Akutsu running a hand through his hair, he noticed the pale fingers shaking a bit.

They walked in silence for a while. Finally, Sengoku asked very quietly, "How?"

There was another pause. Then, Akutsu spoke. "Lung cancer."

Sengoku froze. He remembered the days so many years back, Dan's endless nagging, the big brown eyes burning with a fearless fire as he scolded his oh-so-scary senpai, reminding him constantly about the evils of smoking. And Akutsu, ever the same Akutsu, not paying any mind to the kid's warnings, blowing smoke on his face until he started to cough and left, the tears in his eyes due half to the smoke and half to frustration.

"…Fuck. Akutsu. That's… fuck." There weren't words for something like this, were there?

"Yeah," Akutsu said, apparently agreeing with his obscenities. "Kept telling me it wasn't my fault… The fuck it wasn't. And he knew it. No other cases in his family, nothing wrong with his living habits, nothing to put him in the risk group. Nothing but the fucking passive smoking."

"…How long did…" Damn it, he just couldn't talk, could he? But he needed to know, nevertheless, needed to know if Dan had suffered, if he'd given in to false hope, if…

"Half a year," Akutsu replied. "Even that was longer than the doctors expected. The brat always was fucking stubborn."

Sengoku swallowed. "Must have been pretty far when they noticed, then."

"Spread to his bones already. Nothing could be done." Akutsu snorted. "At least he got his fucking way in the end. I haven't smoked once since he got the damn test results."

"I'm not too surprised." Sengoku's voice was very quiet, now. "I wouldn't particularly care for smoking after that, either." Not that he ever had. The redhead hesitated for a moment, then, not sure if he wanted to know more, but finally gathered his courage. "…And the others?"

"Che." Akutsu glared at him as though asking how he had the nerve to ask about their friends. Fortunately, Sengoku knew Akutsu too well to be offended. "The Jimmies are still together, not that that's much of a surprise. The idiot pair lost the last of their common sense and is now looking after a kid, while Muromachi has apparently finally settled on a girl. Whoever took him must be insane."

"Aww, come on now, Panda-kun's not that bad." Sengoku smiled faintly. "After all, someone even found you worth – oops." Way to go, Sengoku. He couldn't apparently go for five minutes without putting his foot into his mouth, could he?

"Fuck it, Sengoku, it's been three years. I'm over it. I'm not going to fucking shatter if you mention him." Akutsu grimaced, briefly. "Why'd you come back, anyway?"

Sengoku sighed. "I don't know, actually. Belated homesickness, maybe. Or maybe I'm just growing old and getting nostalgic," he added with a half-hearted grin.

"We all are getting old." Akutsu's expression remained unchanged. "All but Taichi."

"Oh, yes. He's going to be young forever, ne?" A sad smile took over Sengoku's face. "He used to worry about it, you know, how you'd both grow old and then he'd lose you because you were older."

"He should have never started messing with data." Akutsu shook his head. "Obviously, he sucked at it."

"Maybe." Sengoku thought of his home, where he would see his parents for the first time in who knew how many years, where he'd be warm and get something to eat; he thought of the car Akutsu had come with, now almost right next to them as they walked closer; he thought of the Jimmies and Muromachi and Kita and Nitobe, of Akutsu and the lack of something small and cheerful at Akutsu's side.

"Akutsu?" His voice was quiet, hesitant. "Where… where is his grave?"

Akutsu gave him a silent gaze, pondering. "Not too far," the taller man finally said. "Want to see it?"

"…Please." Sengoku forced himself to smile. "Though you don't have to, of course… It's already too much I asked you for a ride home."

"Che." Something almost resembling a grin flashed on Akutsu's face. "Consider it a birthday gift. A reminder what getting old does to you."

"Always knew you cared, Akutsu."

And, sitting in the car as Akutsu started driving, both wordless, having already said everything important, he knew he was right.