Everyone lost something too valuable for price. He lost his mate; his one true love. She was the only one who ever warmed his long-dead heart; the only one to make him feel complete; he always thought him complete in himself. Just by looking at him, she'd force a smile to his face. But the smile was slowly fading as the funeral services carried on. He took one deep, unnecessary breath, and marched forward, receiving many sideways, sympathetic glances from the townspeople.
They all lost a mother. Of course, Bella had always had Renee to lean on, but when she needed a role model and friend, she was there to make her feel like one of her own children. But Alice, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper had nothing now. Sure, they'd always have a father figure and siblings; they even had their mates, but nothing would be the same with her waiting for them in heaven.
Her love was what got them all in this situation. If she'd simply let Leah get her way, to show off to her pack, the Cullen family would still be complete with their mother. If Sam had set Leah straight before the fighting, she would still be here, comforting everyone's sobs. They all wished she was. And they wished they hadn't taken her love for granted for so many years.
"This can't actually be happening to me again," Edward thought while Bella leaned into his arms, staining his shirt with her salty tears. He envied her so much for her ability to cry. All he could feel was the misery creeping through his stagnant system. He, too, began to sob, without the tears, that long, rainy night in their bed.
"So now what happens?" Jasper looked down at his wife. They sighed in unison.
"We move, start over, and never forget. And never give up, because you know she'd want more." Alice's voice cracked on her last words. She broke down again, the 3rd time that hour. Jasper held her tightly as he felt a new wave of depression radiating from her tiny body.
He sat alone in his study, just staring at the photos they'd taken: pictures of them together, pictures with Edward. Each picture was different with new additions to the family. Her smile, to him, seemed to grow brighter with each child. He wondered if she was thinking about them all and smiling now.
"You know she is, Carlisle," Edward answered his thoughts from upstairs. Carlisle nodded and replied to Edward with his thoughts.
"I know, but I just can't help but wonder if she's still happy."
Rosalie wanted so badly to fall asleep in Emmett's arms. She had been the only one who could sympathize with Rosalie's desire for children. Rose felt alone, though she had Emmett to hold her when she began to miss her mother.
Emmett was just as emotional as the rest without Jasper's help. The entire family felt seven times the emotion they could manage on their own. Emmett, though, felt like he had to hold them all together. Carlisle couldn't be expected to handle this alone, Jasper was too depressed to get off the couch at times, and Edward was trying his best to keep Bella content.
"I miss her so much," Rosalie whispered to her husband. He tightened his hold around her.
"I know. We all do."
By the time morning broke through, everyone was in sobs. Carlisle stepped outside to be faced by the sunshine glistening endlessly on his skin. He ran to the large clearing where his family had once played baseball. That would happen no more, now that they'd lost their referee. This was the place where her ashes were scattered. He knelt down next to the white gravestone, still sobbing uncontrollably.
Esme Anne Platt Evenson Cullen
Beloved wife and mother
R.I.P.
He stayed there until he could feel the inevitable Washington rain pouring down on his once again pale skin. He looked up at the raindrops, and he could swear, somewhere in heaven, an angel was crying.