Life According to Bleeker

A/N: My first attempt at a Juno fic. I totally loved this movie, and it inspired me to write for the first time in a long time. Just a look into what I felt was the overlooked character of Bleeker. I used a lot of phrases from the movie, because I really loved them! Enjoy and please review!

Whose idea was it?

That's all that ran through Paulie Bleeker's mind as he ran around the track, his gold shorts shining in the sunlight. He had thought it was his idea. What he had with Juno was special. They just went together. Being with her was better than eating a box of orange tic tacs all at once. He could've sworn it was his idea.

He started running faster. Even though it was running in circles, it was a way to get away from it all, to get away from her. It's not that it wasn't good, being with Juno…in chair. It was very very good. Too good, in fact. Things would be different now. He knew that sometimes sex led to babies, but somehow he thought it would never happen to him. Shouldn't he have gone with her to meet these PennySaver Lorings?

Paulie ran off the track and ran home. Normally Juno would just randomly show up and they would play their guitars or just hang out. Today she wasn't there. Paulie thought she was mad at him, but he couldn't remember why. Then suddenly he remembered; the baby.

His mother came into his room without knocking like always. "Would you like some cookies Paulie?" she asked. He mumbled no in response and she left. His mother was always barging into his room. She would probably notice that Juno didn't come around anymore. Then he would have to tell her that he was….what did she always say? Oh yes, sexually active. He hated that word.

Sometimes he wondered what it would be like if Juno had just "taken care of it" like she said. He wouldn't have stopped her, but he wondered why she didn't do it. People were going to stare at her once she got all ginourmous. He didn't want people to stare at her, and it was all his fault.

He looked over to his floor where Juno had left her underwear. He hadn't even touched them. Maybe he should give them back to her. But then if he did that, what would he say? I'm sorry I got you knocked up, wanna hang out? That didn't sound quite right. She'd probably yell at him, and make him feel bad and say it was all his fault and lalala.

He still saw her at school, but it wasn't the same. She wouldn't even look at him, even though he just wanted to ask how the baby was doing, or if he could carry her bag or whatever. He hoped these Lorings were nice people, who could be good parents. He thought maybe he should meet them, seeing as how it was his baby and everything. Whenever he tried to ask Juno, she'd always say it wasn't his idea so don't worry. Then he'd say sorry. Only she always thought he was saying sorry for sleeping with her, and then it would get more messed up.

In his room, he could forget for a while. He strummed his guitar, vaguely considering trying out the song the band had been working on. It had been a while since the band had gotten together. The guys were asking about it, but that meant he'd have to ask Juno. He was terrified of going over to her house.

Mostly it was Mr. McGuff that scared him. Before he'd be all nice to him and ask to be called Mac. Paulie used to kind of like Juno's dad, even though he'd always hear him say "That Paulie kid seems kind of gay." Now Mr. McGuff probably wanted to punch him in the balls. Then his junk would never be the same again. At least then the sex wouldn't result in infants.

Ever since that time last year in Spanish class, he always wanted to ask Juno to go to prom. He used to envision it in his head. She'd be in a totally hot dress, red probably, and his mom would've forced him into some itchy tux. They'd be dancing to some song that was totally boss, and it'd be just the 2 of them. He wanted to ask her still, even though she'd be huge by then and he didn't know if they made pregnant people prom dresses. It'd be like one of those lame after school specials where there's always the knocked up girl at prom who was like the cautionary whale, only much cooler.

Bleeker looked at the clock. Only 7 pm. His mom wouldn't barge in on him asking if her little Paulie was hungry again for at least an hour. If he didn't constantly say no, his mom would feed him until he exploded. For crying out loud, the only time she didn't offer him food was Yom Kippur! He could plan how to ask Juno to prom a little longer.

Juno wasn't really the dance type of girl. She thought dances were for nerds and squares, and she was definitely neither of those things. How many other people get bored and have sex then end up knocked up? He couldn't think of any. Secretly, Paulie thought he was both a nerd and a square, kind of like a square shaped nerd. The only difference was that he tried really hard to not be.

He should try to make her jealous, like those lame ass jocks on TV always did. He didn't really wanna hurt her. Still, she was the one who like ripped out his heart and ate it. If she said no, he'd just ask someone else. He really wanted something to be his idea for once, even though he could swear the sex was his idea. Whenever his friends found out Juno was pregnant, and he was the one who did it, they wouldn't think it was his idea either. No one ever had faith in him.

Now the question was, who would he ask? The only girl other than Juno who had ever noticed him was Katrina DeVort. Being near that girl was like sniffing a bowl of Lipton's chicken noodle soup. He really didn't like soup. Though, beggars couldn't be choosers, and soup girl would have to do. Katrina's face always looked angry too. Normally Juno wouldn't be jealous, but that spawn of theirs was really making her spaz out.

His mother came to the door again. It was way earlier than usual, she must suspect something. "Paulie dear, you hungry?" she asked

"No mom, I'm not hungry right now", he replied weakly for the umpteenth time.

"Dear, you just ran 5 miles. At least let me wash your shorts for you", his mother offered. He didn't argue and simply handed them over. She washed those shorts so much that he was surprised that they didn't get worn out. Juno said the gold was so bright it was blinding, but he knew she liked them. He also liked the way they made his junk look.

He would tell Juno that he asked Katrina DeVort to the prom the next day. That's what he decided. That way she would so want to go with him. He also wouldn't stare at her growing stomach like everyone else did. Paulie knew she thought she looked ugly now, but he always thought she was pretty. He wouldn't even think about the baby. It probably looked like an ugly sea monkey in there, though apparently it had finger nails.

He just had to calm down. These Loring people were apparently nice and stable and like one of those perfect TV families. He could forget all about the baby he and Juno made. Everything could go back to normal, or to the way it was supposed to be. He would be with Juno like he always wanted. He picked up his hamburger phone, the same one Juno had which they had bought together, and he considered calling her. Then he put the hamburger phone down.

This would work out one day because it had to. Juno was like the macaroni to his cheese, the peanut butter to his jelly, and the orange tic tac to his…well everything, since everything goes with orange tic tacs.

Speaking of which, he pulled out an orange tic tac and popped it in his mouth. It reminded him of Juno. Tangy.