Helena sat back in her rocking chair, rocking back and forth, creaking as though she alone was the heartbeat. In a way, though, she was a heartbeat. When she left the X-Men, something changed in everyone. No one smiled like they used to. No one talked to each other as much. Even the mansion seemed darker. She was sort of what kept the X-Men living. And everyone knew it. Except Helena.
She was the kind that couldn't see her own accomplishments, who could never accept a kind word. After all, that's how she had been trained. She couldn't trust, she couldn't accept, and she never even considered love. That was, of course, until she met Remy LeBeau.
Although she insisted that nothing was going on with the two, both Remy and Helena knew better. Remy became the reason that Helena breathed and Helena became the only reason he bothered doing any thing right. From day one, the two were inseparable. Even Rogue, who still loved Remy, agreed that the couple were perfect for each other.
But one day, something happen and it spooked Helena. After that, Helena didn't come out of her room any more. She kept it locked all the time, insisting that she could take care of herself and that she didn't need any one to take care of her. Not even Remy.
Then, one day, she just packed her things and left. They all tried their best to talk her out of it, telling her that Remy needed her, that he would be lost without her, but it was like she didn't care. The entire time, she just kept her back to her friends and packed. Sometimes, they later realised, it was as if she didn't even know they were in the room.
When Helena announced to the Institute that she was leaving, that a matter of great importance had come up, no one could believe that she was actually serious about leaving.
"What is this about?" Charles demanded.
"Something came up," was all she said.
"What something, Helena?" Jean inquired.
Logan just peered over her way, not able to take his eyes off of her. It was if he was searching for the answer. At times, Helena realised he was staring at her, and she looked his way, her eyes hard but so fragile. He could tell that she was trying to keep it together, but she shook like a leaf on a rainy day. Her entire manner cried, "Help!", but she couldn't ask. And that's what hurt Logan the most: that she didn't trust him.
With exception to Jean, Helena had been the closest thing to family that Logan had any where. They understood each other, and even when Logan was pissed off, Helena stuck around to see how the holes in the wall were really formed. And really, Logan never really had to pry with Helena. Usually she came on her own, lying on his bed until he came back to discover her napping. Then, they would talk until dawn, when she left to crawl into bed with Remy. It was their tradition.
And now, Helena had told him nothing. Not even a warning. How did she expect him to handle this? How did she expect any one to accept this? It just didn't make sense. It wasn't like Helena to be able to keep any thing to herself.
What if he had missed all of the signs? He had noticed that before Helena started locking herself in her room, she started looking like she wasn't getting any sleep. But he had asked her about it, and she said that she had gotten enough sleep. And she started talking less and less. Ever since he'd known Helena, any one would know when she walked into a room, whether she'd be laughing or talking, you would know. But for the past month, she kept to herself, so quiet that you'd think she was trying to sneak through the mansion.
"Helena wait!" someone suddenly called.
Logan snapped out of his daze, realising that it had been Remy that called after her, trying to keep her first foot in the house. Again, she appeared not to notice.
"Helena!" he yelled again. This time, she stopped mid-step, pulling her foot back into the house. She never turned around.
"Why are you leavin', cher?"
"I've told you already. Something came up."
"Das a load a bull, ma cher. Nuthin' come up dat I dunno 'bout," he challenged, his eyes never leaving the back of her kneck.
Helena's shoulders fell and everyone held their breath. They prayed that this would be the saving grace, but Helena's shoulders perked back up.
"Maybe you never really knew any thing," Helena snapped, finally turning her head, eyes full of defiance.
"No, ma cher. 'Tis you who nevah knew nuthin. I luv you cher, an' when people love eachothah, dey notice things, cher. I know when you lyin' an' dis be a time dat you be lyin."
Helena turned her body completely to look at Remy, her bottom lip quivering ever so gently, but eyes remaining ever so defiant.
"I…"
"You what, cher?"
Helena's face dropped and it seemed she was staring at her shoes for the longest time. No one knew what to expect any more.
"I…I have to go."
And with that, she picked up her bags and walked through the door. And that was it. No good-bye's, no see you later's, and worst of all, no I love you's.
Everyone stared at Remy. Remy simply stood where he was. It seemed to everyone else that he was going over the events in his head, his face growing angrier and sadder. He kept this up for 5 minutes and no one moved, as if they feared that any movement would interrupt his train of thought. And finally, very calmly, Remy left the room. No one dared to breath as they heard stomping and angry screams go overhead. No one moved until they heard a door slamming above. After that, everyone simply peered at each other, a little confused. After all, she was the Institute's heartbeat and with out a beat, all of the residents in that mansion were a little lost.
Kay. So. Sorry about the lack of disclaimers at the beginning of the fan fic. I don't own any of the characters associated with the X-Men, but I do own Helena. She is mine. Also, you should review. Merci beaucoup!