Forgot
(post-101, Brian pov)

I forgot to say "fucking."

Meant to say, "I love fucking you." Yeah.

Shouldn't even have said that, but… shit… I really did.

The kid was surprising. So innocent, talking video games and Cheerios. So not innocent, the way he draped himself against that streetlamp, then me. Kissed me like he'd waited his whole life for it.

Maybe it's just because I haven't taken a virgin in a while. He was so tight. Tasted so sweet. So fucking willing, no matter how scared. Made me feel what he felt. Justin...

Fuck, how high was I?

Better forget his name again.

xxxxx

Touch
(mid-S1, Brian pov)

Aren't I the expert on touching?

Gripping, stroking skin. Kissing, licking, sucking. Finding nerve endings, pleasure points, natural as breathing. Fucking with cock… hands… mouth… eyes.

I've made tricks come from a dance, a look. More often, my big hard dick jackhammering their ass.

There's a reason Brian Kinney's known as the hottest fuck in Pittsburgh.

Justin's no exception to my expertise. Just to everything else. My rules.

Which is why he's sleeping in my bed… again. Snoring sweetly what almost sounds like my name. I watch, listen. And, at an angle I've never managed, so deeply…

He touches me.

xxxxx

Couple
(117, Justin pov)

I feel like a 13-year-old girl, but I don't care.

Dear Diary, someone referred to Brian and me as a "couple" today and he didn't correct them.

Everyone was there. Deb, Michael, David, Em, Ted, Lindsay, Mel. They all heard it. Brian just stuck his tongue back in my mouth and happily continued frenching me.

I guess it'd be different if anybody fuckable was around, like if it got shouted out at Babylon. He'd remove the word from every guy's memory… with his dick.

But letting the gang think of us that way… means something. Doesn't it?

I love Deb.

xxxxx

Drug
(pre-201, 2nd person Brian pov)

You've tried almost every drug. None of them seeming to work for long.

This one is different. This pill in your hand has the power to erase it. Every one of your screams. Every drop of his blood. The split second that nearly killed him. The millions since that are slowly killing you, still.

You raise it to your mouth, but… he appears. Telling you sadly, simply.

"Not just the bad, Brian. You have to forget everything. Forget me."

You choke at his beauty, knowing… you can't. Pill drops away. He disappears again.

But you remember the high of him.

xxxxx

Virgin
(208, Justin pov)

Made me hot. Made me want to weep. How Brian kissed me and knew instantly… I'd already broken my own damn rule.

Could he taste him, or just the guilt on my lips?

It wasn't like I'd wanted desperately to kiss the kid. I felt bad for him. I know how lucky I was, having Brian for my first. Gave me his mouth, body, experience, patience. Everything but his heart. (Found it, anyway.)

Shit, I was cruel to that guy. He'll probably turn straight. But…

Needed to erase it. Hurt him (not Brian).

I know sorry's bullshit. But I am.

xxxxx

Code
(mid-S2, Brian pov)

Sometimes he just starts talking.

"We could have a code, you know."

I pretend not to be listening.

"Like, if there was something you wanted to say, but… for some reason, felt you couldn't…"

But he knows I am.

"You could say the code words, instead."

Amused.

"You know, like how you tell Michael he's pathetic when you really mean you love him."

Impressed.

"If you wanted to say… anything like that to me…"

Okay, you're pathetic, I start but stop. Try something else.

"Come to bed, Sunshine."

He'll be up all night wondering if that's meant love all along.

xxxxx

Loud
(post-510, Justin pov)

Said…

Too bright, hot, BOOM. Babylon in pieces. Michael could die.

Brian said…

Five years of fucking, fighting, feeling, breaking, breaking up. Bat, violin, cancer… never. Now…

Twice.

I'm so fucking happy I can hardly breathe. Shouldn't be…

It's hard to believe we're broken up. Or… were?

Almost losing me made him realize… Like before.

He felt guilty then. Maybe he does now. That he wasn't there?

Shaken. Scared. People dead. Michael…

Brian meant it, but…

Can't think it means everything's perfect now. Can't even hold him to it.

When his head clears, he'll probably regret loving me out loud.

by AHS