This is the sequel to "Lips which I have loved." That does not need to be read first to understand this story.

I don't own Mai HiME.

Thanks Rhythia deLoux for beta'ing this chapter.

This takes place after the bathroom scene in the extended version of the ending.

Desired Constellation

Chapter One: Palmful of Stars/Throw them like Dice

You acted so casual to see me sitting in your bathroom naked, but I know you better than that.

In the past you would have made some smart ass remark about the situation, and then possibly sauntered over to me and made some flirtatious gesture. But things have changed in the past two months the HiME Star had been destroyed.

This weekend was planned out to be a kind of reunion. Most of the former 'gang' made the journey to your family's summer home on the Friday evening thanks to Midori's rental of a large van. Even Haruka came because Yukino wouldn't go without her.

I did not leave with them the day earlier. I told you I had an assignment I had to complete and likely wouldn't make it until Saturday afternoon. That was partially true. While I do have summer classes, my paper isn't due until the following week.

Honestly, Shizuru, I just wasn't certain that I was going to make it at all.

Publicly, you are still the same charming woman who goes along while acting as though life is easy; that you have no worries at all. But I see the cracks, especially when we are alone together.

Initially, after we woke up, you hard tried to act like everything was normal. You would blindside me with affection and cuteness, and I, in turn would respond as I always had-with objections and furious blushing. Then one day, it just stopped.

Certainly, you have plenty of small talk to share with me, but we don't converse like we used to. Even your body language is colder. You no longer hold my gaze for longer than a second. You allow yourself to become distracted or you just turn the other way.

Seriously, I've wanted to smack you upside the head and say,

"Smarten up, baka! What's up your ass?"

But again, I know you better than that. My eyes have been opened since I pulled my head out of my own ass and realized who mattered to me. Sometimes I just need to be reminded of that.

Last night, Mai had called me. In the background I could hear bottles clinking and loud music.

"Natsuki, you should be here! We're having a great time!" and as if on cue, the sound of celebrants yelled out my name followed by more clinking glasses. They were drinking and somebody was requesting more 'magic elixir.' I'm pretty certain it was Nao.

"It sounds like it, Mai, but I don't think I can make it"

She stopped talking for a moment and the phone became muffled. When I heard her voice again, the background was much quieter, as if she had stepped outside.

"Why not, what's going on?" She asked.

"I'm busy."

"Bull crap!" She swore. "You promised me you would make it. I haven't seen you in over a month!"

Oh, I did promise her that.

"Look Mai, I just don't want to come. I don't know that Shizuru even wants me there."

"Riiiight!" She said in her most sarcastic tone. "That's why she keeps looking outside to see if you're arriving. Natsuki, she's like your best friend. Whatever is happening between you two, fix it now. We're hiking at Mount Fuji tomorrow morning, talk to her then."

"But—"

"See you in the morning, bye"

Click.

So Mai is the reason why I woke up at four in the morning to arrive at your place by eight. I had several hours to think about what I would say to you. No, I knew what I needed to say, but was I brave enough was the real question.

When I arrived, a very hung over looking Midori was being buckled into the passenger seat by Yukino and Haruka while a bunch of other former HiME looked like they were also dragging themselves into the back of the van. You were not amongst them.

Mai came out of the driver's seat I guess when she saw me pull in on the Ducati. I parked the bike on the lot and exchanged greetings with the sleepy looking gang and found myself embraced by Mai.

"Hey Mai"

"Natsuki, I'm so glad you could make it…See you later."

"What! Where the hell are you guys going?"

"We" she directed her arm at the van load of girls "are spending the morning at Mount Fuji."

"Bubuzuke jammed out!" Haruka piped in.

"No, she's just staying behind to make us some lunch for when we get back."

"So she's where?" I spoke in my most annoyed tone.

"She's still sleeping. She probably hasn't heard you come in since she wore ear plugs." She leaned into me and whispered. "It was a noisy night."

"Hey, shut up!" The eldest of the group grumbled in the van.

"Midori snored really loud after she passed out," Mai whispered before continuing. "Anyway, Shizuru is still not expecting you until the afternoon, but you can still keep her company since the van's jam packed."

"Ooo-kay"

"Great! Bye"

"Bye!" Several voices called out, and then I was alone. Not truly, you were inside.

I'd been to your family summer home before, I knew my way around.

I opened the doors to the bedrooms to figure out where I would be sleeping. Specifically, I was looking for Mai and Mikoto's room; I was thinking to bunk with them. Conveniently, theirs was across from yours. I dropped the small overnight bag on the floor before I crossed the hall to your door to announce my presence to you.

A wave of relief rushed over me as I saw that you were still asleep. Does that make me a bad person, Shizuru that I want to delay what was to come as long as possible?

I still had to smile when I saw you. This was not the super-composed Shizuru Fujino that people normally saw. You were sleeping on your stomach with your head partially hidden by pillow. Your hair was unruly, and even though the room was dark, I could make out the orange earplug sticking out of your exposed ear.

Perhaps you'd had too much 'magic elixir' last night so I wasn't certain when you would be waking up. I decided to help myself to some cereal in the kitchen before I went for my shower. It was my own fault for forgetting to lock the door behind me.

"ACK! Shizuru!" I shrieked, looking back at you.

When you walked in, I was sitting naked in front of the mirrors; I must have looked so vain. The truth is that I actually was kind of admiring the view. I'd just gone through a growth spurt that saw me rise in height about 5cm and grow in the bust about the same.

You glimpsed me briefly before you turned around.

"Ara, ara, when-when did you arrive?" You spoke as I grabbed my towel from the rack next to me and covered myself. "I wasn't expecting you until this afternoon."

"About an hour ago!" I said more curtly than I intended to. I forced myself to calm down so I didn't sound so rude. I softened my tone. "The girls were loading into the van when I got here. So I guess it's just you and me"

"Oh." You replied and turned your head back to look at me. "So they did leave without me. I thought the house was a little too quiet this morning."

Mai. So this was your plan. The others must have been in on it to have agreed to go 'hiking' early in the morning with hangovers. Baka.

"She said they would be back for lunch so…" I didn't know what to say next. But you didn't let the silence linger for long.

"Natsuki, I'm going to use the shower downstairs. Take all the time you need in here. I just need to grab my shampoo, alright."

You walked to the shower and pulled out two bottles then stopped to look at me for a moment. You looked like you wanted to say something, but you briefly shook your head as if you had changed your mind.

"Shizuru?"

"I have to go" You said and walked quickly out of the bathroom. I felt like I should chase after you, but I didn't. Instead, I dropped the towel and walked into the shower and let my thoughts flow beneath the hot stream.

I would talk to you as soon as I was fresh.

I saw two endings to the scenario in my mind. The first was that I say the right thing and then we go back to being in a good place. The second, I fuck it up and we mutually agree to stop being friends...

That idea actually caused a pang in my chest. I don't have a lot of people in my life who are close to me; I did not want that to be the conclusion.

I pressed my head against the white tiled wall and sighed heavily.

"I won't lose you Shizuru"

It was then that I resolved that I would do whatever it took to keep you in my life.