Summary: It's not the taste of despair that breaks her.

A/N: Written after reading ch 51. I intended to write this without shipping, but my hands work separately from my mind.

Disclaimer: Does having a Rin keychain count as owning it?

It's useless. All of it.

She throws another pebble across the pond, watching it skip across and sink into the depths of the water. The sight of it brings the image of something being swallowed up by the dark abyss. It is enough to bring her anger and remorse to the surface. She wants her life back. She wants her mother back. She wants-

"Izumo-san." Damn it. Damn them. "You're going to get another checkup."

Kamiki Izumo does not dare grace them with the pleasure of hearing her anger. She refuses to give any one of them the satisfaction that they so desperately thrive on. They've caught her, let her be tortured by the thought of betrayal, and they know where her sister is. She's a descendant of the famous Kitsune clan and an ex-wire on the way to become an exorcist.

So no, she will not let them see her as a broken child. She will be strong. She has to.

"You. Go take her to the room."

She refuses to look up when he places the clamp of chains around her wrists, binding her from any form of retaliation, and feels a slight tug telling her to move. She doesn't think twice about this particular situation. Knows full well that it's him taking her by a leash. They always choose him to be her caretaker.

"Isn't this nice? Some privacy away from my superiors." Shima comments lightly, as thought they were walking alongside each other at cram school. He has that repulsive smile on his face, the one that has never failed to creep across her carefully constructed walls. "We should enjoy this."

She hates him. She hates them. All of them has served only to deepen her suffering as much as possible. She glares at the faraway shadows in the hallway, knowing full well that once she makes it to the end, she won't be coming back out.

"No snippy words? No 'why'd you do it'?" He turns his head, smile still in place. "That's a surprise. I thought you would be asking for information by now."

"Shut up." The words are filled with as much loathing and spite she can add.

"Ah," he ruffles her hair, "there's the Kamiki-chan I know. Come on, cheer up. After this, it'll be okay."

"And you really believe that? Believe them? The ones who let my mother-" She shuts her mouth, refuses to finish that sentence. He doesn't seem to care about her sudden silence and merely tugs her along. She regains what little remains of her composure.

"It doesn't matter if I ask anyways. You won't tell me."

"Ahaha, how right you are. Personally, I don't care about what the Illuminati wants." He shrugs so nonchalantly and it ignites a flame in her that she thought died out when he stabbed her. "I'm only here-"

"Shut up, you idiot." Damn it. This is why they choose him every time. With a stranger, she can shrug them off with the aloof pride that she's always held and clung onto. But a comrade, a classmate, perhaps even a friend…it's difficult not to start screaming obscenities at him.

Remember, they want this. They took mother and chained her up to be experimented on. They tarnished my home, my family, my very existence.

"I'm not going to give up so easily." She keeps her voice steady, her gaze even on his back. "I'm going to break out and the first one I'm going after will be you."

To his credit, he doesn't falter at the sheer animosity dripping from her words. He merely tugs the chain more and has that relaxed demeanor still surrounding him. They turn a corner and the clanking of chains almost drowns out his quiet response.

"I truly hope it doesn't come to that."

Whether she actually hears it doesn't matter, for she has already accredited it to that dim hope in her chest. It's madness in darkness.

The hallway rumbles, shakes from the aftermath of another explosion and she knows that this will be the only opportunity. But-

"I'm sorry, Kamiki-chan." He has summoned that wisdom-class demon, all inky black and foreboding like the grim reaper. "But I'm afraid I can't let you go."

Time dilation starts to kick in. She does not register the cacophony of panicked voices echoing or the rush of flames and gunfire and chanting. All she sees and hears is him in front of her. She has placed her faith in so many people and they have always let her down. She wants to hold out for her fellow ex-wires, for Rin and Shiemi and the others, but now there is no regard for herself anymore.

That familiar snarl and intensity burns in her eyes.

"I really don't care, you stupid pervert.' She charges straight towards him with all the speed she can muster from being chained. For a moment, she sees his hesitation. She delivers a swift kick towards him. Damn it, she will not be made a fool.

"Kamiki-"

She screams, not at exertion of energy, but at the dull pulsating throbbing currently spreading in her chest. She doesn't need to look down to see what has been done to her. She hates him. She repeats that mantra in her head, trying to keep the adrenaline going and keep herself up.

Nevertheless, she fails in the effort and slumps to the ground, blade still in chest. She falls, embracing the darkness that creeps in her vision. Forget all this bullshit. She wants to be selfish and let this accursed bloodline within her die. She'd rather keep her dignity of the fact that she fought to survive instead of being used like another pawn-

"What about your sister?" She stills at that familiar soft tone, the statement only hitting her harder than what it really should. "She'd only be put in your place, you know."

It's a struggle to push herself up and glare now that the drowsiness is kicking in, but she finds it an easier effort than she expects. She attributes it to the angry grief of losing her two familiars. Intense magenta eyes gaze upward, burning everything that she sees and condemning the darkness for blurring her vision.

However, it's not completely dark.

"You're not going to die." He says confidently, the mar of concern the only unrecognizable sign she sees. "You're too strong for that, Izumo."

The edges of weariness creep into her vision, but she holds that heavy gaze on him. She struggles to maintain that strong composure and speaks with a tight throat. Damn it.

"Damn straight. Remember…I'll be…the one…to take you down."

She doesn't see his nod or hears his sullen reply. "I don't doubt it for a second, Izumo."