J. K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.

Written for the "I Love You" Song Challenge, by RedTheMagicFairy.

Song: What Hurts the Most, by Rascal Flatts.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me.
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do.

Severus Snape sighed, tossing the no-good essays from first-years on his desk, leaning back in his chair.

Thinking about Lily Evans.

Sure, he cried once in a while about her, but this felt so different, so final. As if...it were almost over.

Unfamiliar tears streaked his face, so foreign, yet so loving and hating and familiar, as if they had always been there.

She had died eighteen years ago today. It was almost a tradition, neglecting his teacherly duties every Halloween to cry about her.

But not because she died, never because of her death.

Because of how even if she were alive, she would probably still think the same of him that she had before. Hatred...

And that one memory flooded back in one big, forceful waterfall...

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine," Lily said coldly, no mercy in her eyes, not at all.

"No-" he said, the words thick in his mouth as he said them, "Listen, I didn't mean-"

"-to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" she asked, giving him one last glare before turning to the Fat Lady again.

He impulsively grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "Because I love you!" he burst out, his voice the definition of anguish.

"You-Sev, you cannot-"

He yanked her close, desperately kissing her lips for just a moment before she shoved him away, fury gleaming in her slitted eyes.

"Death Eaters aren't capable of something as strong as love."

But he had loved her! He dreamt of her every night and thought of her every other moment! Wasn't it enough?

He wasn't even a real Death Eater, he thought gloomily.

"Lily, " he whispered quietly, "If you can hear me...You were wrong. I did love you."

And so he had.