Chapter 1: I didn't know his arm could extend that far.
Head detective Carlton Lassiter scowled as he pushed passed the front doors into the bullpen of the Santa Barbara Police Department.
His divorce was now final, and so was his bad mood.
As if god was laughing at his pain, there happened to be a certain pain in his ass Spencer sitting on his desk as it his name was on it, flirting with O'Hara.
Lassiter rolled his eyes as the FAKE psychic noticed him.
"LASSIE! Your desk is quite comfortable, though I prefer pine; I'm good with oak too, though I don't think that works as a good solid argument, seeing as I only prefer pine because it's close to pineapple. DUDE they should make pineapple tasting pine desks!"
Lassiter out of reflex pulled aspirin out of his desk and rubbed his temples, but for once didn't say anything, making the psychic consultant pause for a BRIEF second.
"Lassie-face, you okay?"
Lassiter's head jerked in surprise, was that…concern?
"Didn't know you cared Spencer. Now. GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!"
Shawn just smirked, "there's the lassie-face we all sorta kinda almost love!"
Shawn reluctantly hopped off the desk and walked out of the precinct and into the sunny weather of Santa Barbara.
A few hours and a lot of catholic-raised cussing later and Lassiter was done with his paperwork, and it was just in time for lunch.
Carlton barked his lunch break in the bullpen and glared at buzz when he looked at him.
Shawn was hiding behind the front door giggling slightly and counting down for when Lassiter stepped outside.
Carlton didn't notice….at first…but when he did-
"SWEET JUSTICE AND ALL THAT IS HOLY!"
Shawn busted out laughing at Carlton's outraged face, "Aw, c'mon Lassie-face, I thought you could do with a change in scenery."
Carlton whipped his arm around and threatened to break Shawn's arm.
Shawn panted against the rough pavement stinging in his cheek, "that's funny lassie-face; I never would have known your arm extended that far."
Carlton Lassiter's grimace reflected off his now baby blue crown Vic.
When Shawn was finally released from his death-grip received by a very testy Irishman, he hopped on his bike and roared to the psych office, ready...to…tell…Gus...son of a bitch, Gus was out of town on a business trip, Shawn rolled his eyes, well he certainly wasn't heading to his dad's place, shuddering involuntarily at the thought, Shawn headed towards Tom Blair's pub.
As he pulled up beside the pub, he noticed it was quiet, but then it was only like, two o'clock.
Shawn shrugged and plopped down on one of the stools in front of the bar, noticing a guy out the corner of his eye staring at him from the back of the room.
He downed his drink, and made his way over.
The mysterious man gestured to the seat across from him, which he accepted, looking at the man wearily, he was kind of cute, in a suit-wearing type way.
"I'm Shawn! Shawn Spencer."
The man's mouth twitched at the sides, "Josef. Josef Kostan."
-------------Forty Eight hours later----
Lassiter paced restlessly, as much as he hated Shawn and his fake psychic bullshit, he was still an innocent civilian, and dammit all he took an oath to protect innocent civilians, and he hated doing nothing more than he hated Shawn Spencer.
Buzz raced around the corner, almost slamming into Lassiter.
"Sir…Uh..Mr. Lassiter…I went around to all of Sha-Mr. Spencer's frequent hang-out places, Hank, The barman saw Shawn leave Tom Blair's with another guy."
Lassiter stopped pacing and stared at Buzz
"Mcnabb, did eh...Hank get a visual on the man who left with Spencer?"
Buzz nodded eagerly " Yessir."
A pregnant pause.
"WELL??!?"
Buzz jumped three feet, and gulped loudly, "Sorry sir, he was tall, a little taller than Sha- Mr. Spencer and he had blond hair, wore a suit, and sunglasses."
Lassiter nodded, and moved to sit down at his desk, but Buzz didn't move.
"What do you want Mcnabb? A cookie? Move."
Buzz hastily jumped out of his way and put the file on Lassiter's desk, "Sir, its Josef Kostan."
Lassiter's eyes went wide, and the whole SBPD stopped as if frozen.
O'Hara turned clueless to the pale head detective, "Who is Josef Kostan?"
Lassiter looked up hopelessness written all over his usually calm demeanor.
"One of the most, if not MOST influential politicians in the entire state of California. He usually is at many scholarship parties, and things for business, but this doesn't sound like something he'd do. If he has taken Spencer, we're not going to need evidence; we're going to need money, and social standing."
Lassiter emphasized his last words by slamming his fist on his desk.
/////////////Shawn Spencer\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Shawn groaned as he came to, what on pineapple happened??
He glanced around he was laying on a couch of some kind, a blanket haphazardly thrown over him.
He went to stand up before a voice stopped him
"You know hostage situations aren't usually my thing, I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I need your help, psychic."
Shawn turned terrified eyes onto the figure by the window, seemingly looming over the cityscape, even though they were stories up, inside a building.
Shawn tried glancing around, trying to figure out his situation, but a gentle knock at the door made him lose concentration.
Josef half-turned and sniffed the air.
Shawn tried not to show his curiosity by sniffing too; he didn't smell anything except what he already smelled, febreeze and blasts of air from the air conditioner.
Josef however smiled slightly, "Ah good, that'll be Mick. Make yourself at home and all."
Josef gestured around the apartment seemingly gliding across the room to the thick-paneled door.
Shawn looked around for an escape route, but they were too far up with no back door, crap.
He listened for the voices in the foyer by the kitchen, picking up bits and pieces.
"What…THINKING JOSEF????!?"
"He….help us."
Another man followed Josef into the living room and took a seat in the chair across from the couch Shawn was sprawled on.
The newcomer glared angrily at Josef, "He's scared to death Josef!"
Josef rolled his eyes, then his shoulders, "Oh don't be such a baby Mick, he's fine."
Mick continued to glare, "I can hear his heartbeat Josef."
Shawn raised a shaking hand and attempted to smile, "Uh hi, still here, it's been fun! But I need to get back; Gus will go crazy if he finds me missing...again."
Mick raised an amused eyebrow, "again?"
Shawn at least had the decency to look sheepish, "well I ran away the first time, but this time wasn't my fault."
Shawn glanced at Josef who was grinning madly, until Mick rounded on him again, "YOU KIDNAPPED HIM?!?"
Josef waved him off, "He didn't force me to stop or anything. Besides he's a psychic, he can help our people."
Mick raised a disbelieving eyebrow, "Our people? What are we a cult now? Look get HIM home I'm going to Beth's, and you better be out of my apartment when I get back, and the blood better not all be gone, it'll be the third time this week I had to restock. Nice to meet you…."
Shawn broke in with a grateful smile shaking Mick's hand "Shawn. Shawn Spencer."
Mick smiled slightly, "Mick St. John. Take him home Josef!"
With that the Private investigator slammed the door to his own apartment shut leaving Josef and Shawn alone.
"Look, here's the deal, you help me, and you get to go home...if not, well…"
Josef bared his fangs. "Got it?"
Shawn looked ready to collapse, "like milk."