I needed something to counteract all of the fluff I'm writing in L'Amour et le Mariage and this is what happened.
Disclaimer: I don't own Les Misérables or the characters
It was all a blur. Marius climbing up the barricade with the powder keg, the soldier pointing his gun at him... me grabbing that gun. But this part, this pain... it's all too real. I wish I could forget this, I wish that this part was blurred. But it's not. I feel all of this pain that comes from the bullet lodged in my chest. I'm dying... I'm sure of it. That's okay though. I saved him, my Marius. I took the bullet meant for him. Now he'll live. He'll marry Cosette, probably. I won't even be at the wedding. He asked me to go, he did. Even asked me to be his best man. Strange, I know, since I'm a girl. But it was still very nice of him and it meant so much to me. But I'll be absent from his wedding. Even though it would have been torture to watch the man I love marry another, I can't help but feel sad at that. I wish I could be there for him on one of the most important days of his life, but I'll be dead. Dead and gone. And he might never know that I love him. No... he needs to know. I have to tell him before I die! Then I see him. He has just made the National Guard fall back. I call out to him,
"Monsieur Marius!" but he doesn't hear me. "M-Monsieur Marius!" this time he spots me and rushes over to me. He sees right through my disguise. He doesn't believe for a second that I'm a boy, I can see it the moment I look into his eyes. He knows I'm his 'Ponine.
"Good God, Éponine, what are you doing here?" he asks me. "The barricade is not a safe place for you to be. What are you doing here?"
"I'm dying." I reply bluntly.
"What!?" he exclaims. His eyes immediately start searching for a wound. They quickly find the bullet hole in my chest. His eyes widen, "But how?"
"Did you see the musket aimed at you?"
"Yes, and a hand that stopped it." Then his eyes flash with understanding and he looks down at my hands. He sees the one with the bullet hole in it, the one with blood gushing from it. "'Ponine... please, tell me you didn't..." his voice sounds broken. I smile grimly.
"If I did, I'd be lying." I reply. He sinks to the ground next to me and pulls me into his arms. I smile, despite the terrible, unbearable pain that I feel. He holds me close. I feel a few drops of wetness on my head as it begins to rain. I feel his body shaking and I know that he's crying... for me. He really does care! The rain falls harder, now it's pouring.
I gasp as another wave of pain crashes over me. Marius holds me even tighter, as if he's trying to hold me together so I don't fall apart. It's for naught, of course, as I know that I'm going to die, but it still means the world to me. He really cares about me, I actually mean something to him. I hear him sob and I start to feel bad. He's hurting because of me. He makes an attempt to shield me from the rain, as if he's afraid that it will harm me. I smile weakly at him and I see tears falling from his beautiful bright green eyes that were once so happy and joyous, but are now filled with anguish and remorse.
"Don't cry, Monsieur." I whisper, "I don't feel any pain." it's a lie, of course, but I just want his pain to vanish. He's not fooled though, I can tell.
"Why did you do it, 'Ponine? Why did you save me?" his voice is so sad. It breaks my heart. I reach a shaking hand up to caress his face. He leans into my touch, which surprises me, but makes me smile nevertheless. He tries to return the smile, but I can see the sadness behind it.
"I did it because... because I love you." I tell him. His eyes look into mine, filled with surprise. But then he whispers,
"I love you too." The pain I feel vanishes for one fleeting moment, replaced with an unadulterated joy. I lean up and kiss him. He kisses me back softly and lovingly. If I died now, I would be happy.
Then it all disappears. Marius isn't here with me. He's gone. I imagined the whole thing. I've only been pretending he's beside me. I'm all alone... I'm going to die all alone, unloved by anyone. Marius will never know that I love him, nor will he ever love me. The pain overwhelms me then and the darkness consumes me.
I wasn't sure if I was going to write this next part, and then I did.
Marius
As I walk toward the Corinth to bring the powder keg inside, I nearly trip over something on the ground. I place the powder keg down and hastily bend over to see what I almost tripped over. I blanche as I realise it's a body. I turn it over and my heart breaks as I realise that it's Éponine. My best friend... she's dead... Tears fall from my eyes. How did this happen? She wasn't even supposed to be at the barricade! And now she's gone.
I never even got to say goodbye...
Et, c'est fini. Please review!