Summary: Scattered thoughts of Delphine about the aftermath of the season finale, including some backstory.
Disclamer: I do not own Orphan Black. BIG SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE (INCLUDING FINALE). I also discuss sexual abuse vaguely, so TRIGGER WARNING.
The first time I saw her I had to pretend not to notice her. She was a thing I had to monitor, yet I had to pretend, for the moment, that she was unimportant.
I spent months studying her. Not her actual person, but files about her. I wish I could said that I had memorized all her data from the beginning, that I knew her eye color, her hair color, her height, her weight, the name of the birth mother, of her family, of her origin. But I didn't. She was an experiment to observe. Just like the other lab rats we experimented on the lab, except human. I was fascinated on the science of her, but I wasn't allowed access to information that deep. I got basic personal information, that all by itself meant nothing to the scientist I was.
Once I met her, once I saw her, it all changed. I didn't fall for her right away. As a scientist I'm very aware that emotions is just chemistry and hormones. I never actually felt for anyone what I felt for her, so the feelings for her were non-identifiable at the moment.
Dr. Leekie first approached me about this project when I was finishing my doctorate. He explained the concept of neolution, and even though the scientist in me was sceptical, she was also curious. And so I got a job.
I also got a lover, if you could call it that. Aldous first approached me in one of the many parties the company gave. He was slightly drunk, and I've heard enough stories about him that I knew not to say no. I was naive enough at the time to enjoy it. To not recognize what it really was.
And then Cosima showed up. Or I showed up at her school. She was nice. I expected her to be nice. I was also aware that she was aware of who I worked for. I might not know her well, but she was smart. I kept that little fact to myself. Her charm and her smile enchanted me in a way that I didn't want any harm to come to harm, especially from The Dyad Institute. She made me smile.
Once I knew her, I convinced Dr. Leekie to reveal more about her, her identification, all her 'features', if you can call it that. And I spent the following nights memorizing every little detail about her.
Now she is sick, and there is nothing I can do. I no longer have resources. We have to live in hiding and in fear. Sarah has been out looking for her daughter. Allison is unreachable, We've come to conclusion she signed the contract. Now we wait and research. Cosima says it's cheesy, but I couldn't be in a better place.