AN: Hey everybody. This is just this little plot bunny that's been floating around in my head since like forever. Yeah. Reviews are great, as usual. And This Brilliant Dance will be updated soon. Thank you to for all the palindromes. Oh, and the spelling mistakes in the first paragraph are Roger's slurring. He's a little drunk. Now, onward. RATED FOR MAJOR DRUG REFRENCES.
Palindromes, Or Why Mark Doesn't Smoke Pot Anymore
As told by Roger Davis
Hey, wanna hear my pot story? No man, I swear this one's true. This was like the funniest thing that ever happened, I'm telling ya. Swear to god. Biggest waste of weed I ever saw…or not. He still hates when we tell it. I's a great story. Well, anyways, I've got this buddy, Mark….
Mark is a medical miracle in himself. And no, I don't mean that he's albino. Naw, Mark has always had bad luck with drugs, see, like he never does 'em cause he can never get the right effect. Once we got him to shoot up and he fell asleep. No, swear to go it's true. He's a weepy drunk, too, which is pretty unlucky, but that probably explains why he tends to attract gay guys and psychologists. Maybe it's cause he hasn't got laid in like a year, I don't know. But yeah. Anyways.
So I got this other buddy, Collins, who's got a whole garden shed full of North Carolina's best marijuana plants being cultivated in the little grassy lot next to his apartment in Massachusetts. And every time he goes on sabbatical he plucks the very best of those plants and brings 'em home, and usually me and him and our friend Maureen sit on the fire escape and smoke them for about three days straight, then save the rest for Christmas, when we all get high as a kite, but it's always the three of us and sometimes my girlfriend Mimi.
But one day, Collins gets back from sabbatical and we're all sitting on my couch, just me, Collins and Mark, and Mark mentions he's never gotten high before. So me and Collins pretty much piss our pants but when we're done, we give the guy a smoke. So we're sitting there huffin' and puffin' and me and Collins are just waitin' till Mark starts giggling and gets the munchies, but he never does. He's just sittin' there, stone faced, and I'm like, "What the fuck," and so is Collins, cause by now me and him are going on our second joint and Mark is still sitting there all confused.
So Collins, great guy, says, "Hey man you wanna like go throw up or somethin' that's cool," Cause the first time Collins had reefer he like barfed for an hour or whatever. 'S true, he told me. Then Mark gets up and walks to the bathroom, but me and Collins, we're so stoned, we forgot to tell him my girlfriend was in the shower. So Collins and I are just sittin' there, giggling, when Mark runs out as fast as he can, and he does not look high at all, he looks like he's on speed or something which is definitely not normal.
And so- get this- he goes, "Flesh! I saw Mimi wash self!"
So by then we're a little freaked out, and me and Collins are like, "What the fuck?"
And so Mimi walks out in a towel then, and she's freaking pissed, but then before she can say anything Mark points to Collins and says, "A man, a plan, a butt-tub! Anal Panama!"
And now I may be high as a fucking kite but there is no way I would ever forget Collins' infamous trip to Panama, where he discovered Anal at the Parthenon Bar and got AIDS. 'S a great story, if you like gay sex, but that's fer later.
Anyways. So I'm like, "Is that an anal sex reference?"
And Mimi's like, "Is that a palindrome?"
And how the fuck she knew what a palindrome was I've got no clue, cause I sure as hell didn't but, but she said, "It's a word or phrase spelled the same forward or backward. I knew this guy in high school who was obsessed with them,"
Yeah, whatever.
So Mark then realizes he's high, I guess, cause he points at the Stuff and says, "Pot? I saw DNA and I was on top!"
So we're all like, what the fuck. "Ahh, Satan sees Natasha,". That was what he said, pointing from me to Mimi. Whose name is not Natasha.
Yeah. It got pretty fucking annoying.
So what happened?
Well, you know, we got pretty worried, but he eventually cooled down and that night we asked him to come up with one. He couldn't do it! He couldn't freaking do it! It was great, I tell ya.
So we don't give him any reefer anymore. It's a freaking waste of North Carolina's finest.
Collins in Panama? Haha great story. Pass me another joint, Ted, and I'll tell ya.
THE END
AN: Yes I am aware how bad this was.
