A/N: THIS IS A HINATA CENTRIC BASHING(Well, most of it). IF YOU LOVE HINATA AND THINK THAT I SHOULD BURN IN HELL FOR WRITING THIS, FLAME ME, EXPRESS YOUR THOUGHTS, HATE ME, NAG WHY 'HINATA-CHAN' IS THE COOLIEST GURL EVA, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
p.s: This is also a NaruHina bashing. If you can't take this precious couple being pounded, killed, buried, revived, admired, killed a second time and buried again, go right ahead and flame me.
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A Hinata-Hime Story
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Konohagakure was your regular super ninja village, who had the hottest kunai stabbing guys and ass kicking girls. The towns people were always happy and when there was evil a foot, the super awesome ninja people would save them. Super awesome ass kicking ninjas.
Yes.
But that's not the story about a helpless town filled with super hero ninjas.
It was about oh say, eight o'clock in the bright and shining morning, the sun had woken a pale-eyed beauty. She had sat up slowly, letting her delicate figure rise them selves. Her hair yet abundant in tangles, unknown objects on her face were visible even to a alien space ship that was a kajillion miles away. But because she is Hinata of the notorious Hyuuga clan, she was 'awww'ed, even by those creatures in the space ship in space…yes, she was loved at first sight.
Hinata walked up to her mirror and rubbed her pale ravishing eyes. After the gentle eye rubbing moment, she screamed waking everybody of the Hyuuga household, Konohagakure, Sunagakure and all the villages this dumb shit author could think of.
"Wh-Wh-Why is there a bi-bi-big huge ass planet on the bottum left side of my beautifully ivory, soft, gentle and supposedly acne free fa-fa-face?! WH-WH-WHY?! I THOUGHT I-I-I WAS MY FACE WAS NATUARALLY PRETTY?!" Hinata questioned herself in a stutter, screaming her godess-like lungs out. Oh what harmony her voice could carry.
Within a millisecond, her almighty prince had came to the rescue, hearing his poor angel wasting her precious voice.
"My baby cakes, what is the matter?"
She death glared her boyfriend and suddenly fell perfectly in place on the polished, waxed, scrubbed gently, air-dried pine floor of her hundred by hundred bed room, white curtains waved in the wind, birds practically sneaking a peek to sing a lovely song for there favorite kunoichi, who's hair gently swept off her face revealing the ugly planet that gushed and was vilely yellowish-red.
It was a awful sight. Oh, so dreadful.
"Well, what in hell do you think it is Na-Na-Naruto-ku-ku-kun?! I have this disgusting thing of my fricken face?!" Hinata stuttered again, with a yell. She wept onto Naruto's shoulder, while he rubbed her back in comfort.
"Its okay, Hinata-chan, No matter how fucked up you look, you will always look like a 'Hinata-hime', believe it." Naruto comforted. Hinata looked up at Naruto with disgust.
"Bitch-kun, you did not just say that!" Hinata jumped and snapped her fingers in a 'Z' formation. Her other hand on her hips.
"But, sugar lips believe it, its--"
"Nah-ah! No one calls The Hinata-hime 'fucked up'. Na-Na-Na Na-Na-Na Naruto-kun!!" Hinata snapped the 'Z' formation again and had jumped into her humongous closet which was off white glaze with perfectly painted laces on the sides.
Since she was so perfect in everyway, Hinata had raided her closet in 5 seconds and had gotten dressed in a 'Oh so damn sexy outfit.'.
Her hair had shined, let loose in a perfect loose ponytail, much like Neji's. Her mini jean skirt, which were faded, had stylish dilly-dandies on them and were short enough to expose her seductive thong to the whole world to see. Now, her baby blue long sleeves which were unbuttoned partially seeing enough of her greatly sized melons for the men in Konoha to see and get life threatening nose bleeds. At least five men out of five men dies from Hinata's sexy beauty. Her stiletto heels were perfectly shaping her French manicured feet. Now all of this, this you can buy for only fifty bucks an hour. Or more, if you want it kinky.
But anyway, after the jaw dropping image of Hinata's rare beauty, Naruto had fainted from his billionth nose bleed.
Hinata looked at herself in the mirror again.
"Gosh, I look so damn cute in this outfit, its so perfect!" She gazed at her great beauty, ignoring the pimple. Well, actually the pimple had died from a nose bleed, because when Hinata was changing in the closet, the pimple was just to dumb struck to cause pain and suffering to the most pretty girl in Konoha.
The Hyuuga beauty left her bedroom, passing by one of the maids. "You wouldn't mind cleaning up a little mess in my room would you?" She smiled sweetly. He teeth were untouched and shiny as a pearl.
The maid cried in joy, seeing the Hinata-hime smile so sweetly at her.
"Oh, yes Hinata-sama, will do!" The maid chirpped as she laid out non-slip pads for Hinata to walk on. "We don't want to get your six hundred dollar heels dirty now!"
Hinata smiled again. "I guess so! My….who ever you are!"
And Hinata left the Hyuuga estate, the maid happy as ever having the hime order her to clean up the hundred by hundred room.
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It may not seem like bashing yet, but on the second chapter, you will see. I'm just warning you now.
Flames are gladly open!