He said nothing I could do would ever offend him and that he'd always be there sad thing is I actually believed him. Now I'm left here crying it feels like my hearts just been stabbed through with a knife and his twisted it in even further. I can't believe I ever let myself fall for him this hard. At that time I knew he could get any girl he wanted and still I fooled myself into thinking that I'd be enough for him. Now his with her and its killing me the way his face lights up when he sees her, the way he looks at her it all looks so familiar to me because he used to look at me that way.. I can still hear every word he said to me when he told me it was over that he likes someone else. I thought I could cope with being his friend but I can't it's just impossible to sit there and still have him flirt with me and know that he doesn't mean to. That's just the way he is I don't even know if half the time he knows his flirting. I thought he was my prince charming turns out his just another liar.
What hurts the most is the promises he said even though he didn't love me anymore he still cared about me and would always be there for me no matter what. Then she came on to the scene and his promises just flew out of the window turn out they were nothing but empty words. I was just about getting back to some normalcy and then he turns around and breaks my heart in yet another place I'd love to know when his gonna pick up the pieces and make it whole again. I just don't understand it we were finally talking and he seemed to be back to normal and those time he ignored me or barely spoke didn't matter but then the next day he tells me he doesn't want anything more to do with me? He is confusing beyond words I always knew he was an enigma but its getting beyond a joke now maybe it's his idea of fun mess with her head. He always loves to laugh and joke. Still his not a slytherin I don't quite think he could be even that cruel.
I can hear him now laughing and joking centre of attention as always her wrapped around him. Does he even know what his doing to me? Probably not I wish he could even feel a tenth of what I'm feeling. Some might call me pathetic for liking him still and that its just a crush but its beyond that now I don't think its a crush when I slice into my arm at night. I thought I was done with that I still remember the first ever time I did it my dad had just died and I needed something anything to feel. I blamed myself for it all I had never been a good daughter half the time I never seen him, me away at Hogwarts and him in the muggle world. I remember when he found out what I was doing to myself and he listened as I sat there and cried and told him everything that hurt he shared his own experiences and told me about his family life a mother and father that never really loved him. After that we found an understanding and I promised I wouldn't again and that I'd talk to him if anything were wrong. Now I'm back to it but no one quite understands how much it hurts to keep losing people close to you whether it be physical or not. It just feels half the time no one cares I know they do but I'm scared to be honest that they'll leave me too. Everyone does eventually.
I'm pathetic to be honest and I know I am but I really don't care anymore. It's my own fault really I fell for a player. Once a player always a player. Ive learnt my lesson now Sirius Black isn't my saviour his a heartbreaker.