Title: One life to live.
Characters: Tim, Abby, the rest of the team and some OC's.
Rating: FR13
Spoilers: None
Authors note: Some, I haven't written anything in quite a while but I am happy about how it turned out. Written for the WEE, for Lyss!
Chapter one.
He noticed the roses as soon as he stepped in her lab. It was impossible not to notice them, a big vase in the middle of her desk filled with dozens of black and red roses. He puts on his best smiles and walks to her main computer, ignoring the loud music without any trouble. She knew he was in her lab, she always knew and that made him smile. She jumps in to his arms and he briefly returned the hug, resisting the need to smell her hair. Seeing Abby was the best but usually also the worst part of his day. He wanted to kiss her, make her smile and just generally make her happy. But seeing that she just started talking about her latest date and how great the guy had been he knew that he didn't have a chance. She always told him about her dates with those eccentric men and the occasional woman, it drove him crazy. But that's the thing he realized a long time ago. He had accepted the offer to stay friends after they broke up, part of him hoping that she would change her mind, but she hadn't and now he had to make up stories about dates and somehow he had to keep his sanity.
Every time he felt the need to tell her: 'they don't love you like I love you' but those words could never be spoken. Gibbs knew, he was sure of that, the man knew everything and hardly ever sent him down to the lab anymore, probably seeing the pain in the eyes of his youngest agent. He pried himself out of Abby's hug and was about to ask her if she had any results when Gibbs called him, their suspect had been seen in a shady motel not far from their latest crime scene.
It had been an ambush, and that was the reason that McGee was in the hospital right now. He had been shot in his stomach and some serious damage in his lower intestines. The surgery had gone fine but he was in the hospital for at least 4 more days. Everyone had visited him but right now he was alone as visiting hour was over. That gave him more time to think that he was comfortable with. Abby had visited him and left some of her own 'things' to cheer him up. A small assortment of dolls was staring at him from the window ledge and the person in the bed next to him had been surprised to say at least.
So now he was lying in his bed, alone with a shocking revelation. When he was shot he had felt a blinding pain, he was pretty sure that he was going to die and the only think he could think of was Abby. When Abby came to visit him it was sure that she could only think about the new guy she was dating. He knew that he was trying to avoid the obvious here and made the decision to leave Abby behind, take a step back from their friendship and start dating. So the reminder of his time in the hospital he flirted with every pretty nurse he saw and after a few days he was sure that he could give Tony a run for his money.
He was released five days after he was admitted and had gently ignored Abby's offer to pick him up and bring him home, he had asked Tony for a ride instead.
"Those nurses where pretty sad to see you go." Tony said, surveying the man in the wheelchair he was pushing. "Have you been trying to break their hearts with your shot-federal-agent-rich-writer-guy?'" he asked and Tim knew that he didn't have to answer. Tony could fill entire hours with mindless chatter on his own. "Anyway" he continued "Abby is still dating that new guy and Gibbs is going crazy while he is depending on Ziva and me for the electronic stuff, needless to say, we need you back as soon as possible." Tim gave a chuckle because he knew that they both could hold their own when it came to computers, but he did appreciate the effort.
The trip from the hospital to his apartment only took half an hour but when he finally shuffled in to his apartment he felt like had been sparring with Gibbs for ten solid hours. He sank down on the couch and was very grateful that Tony didn't comment on his appearance, he had seen himself in the mirror, he looked like crap. He heard Tony moving around in his kitchen and a few minutes later a glass of water and a pill was pushed in to his hand, he swallowed them, mindlessly. It still didn't feel real, being shot for the first time in your life was bad enough, but he couldn't help but feel that he had landed in an alternative reality now that he was home again.
"Ziva filled your fridge with boxes, they contain lunch and dinner for at least a week. The kitchen cabinets are stocked and plenty of fresh food. Gibbs or I will pick you up and drive you to your physical therapy four times a week. Ziva will come by every evening to see if you need anything else and you have that fancy nurse coming by for your baths." he smirked. Tim blushes but Tony pats his shoulder. "I understand" he says softly, "now if there is anything you need, don't hesitate to call me, or Ziva or Gibbs. You know, call Gibbs first, the man rarely sleeps."
Tony lifts his hands from McGee's and it may have stayed there a moment too long, but Tim doesn't care, he is still busy figuring out the new rules of this universe. Abby texts him later that day, but he doesn't respond and it kills him. He responds to Abby's text a few hours later, the guilt was eating him alive but she doesn't respond. He pretends that he is not crying as he falls asleep that night.
Two weeks later he is still pale and weak, but he is back at his desk and opens all the get well cards and presents with a grin. He is cleared for 4 hours of work a day and only desk duty but he is happy to be out of his apartment and he takes everything he can get. Gibbs is happy that he is sitting at his desk again and even Tony can't hold a happy smirk back.
He is reading trough the reports his replacement left and humming happily to himself. His day is pretty good so far and as a thank you he is taking everyone out to lunch later. Suddenly the doors fly open and he sees Abby running towards him, her boots making a heavy thumping sound on the floor of the squad room. He knows that she is going to jump on top of him and he braces himself for the no-doubt painful experience. Suddenly Gibbs steps between him and Abby and catches her, calming her down and he holds her until he is sure that she has herself under control.
She lowers herself on his lap and the next ten minutes are filled with questions, hugs and kisses, her own special way of showing that she cares. After those excruciating long minutes where she is so close he can smell her she stands up and skips back to her lab, obviously convinced that he is doing well enough to be back at work. He was distracted for the rest of the day, unable to do his job. But with all the people stopping by his desk and making small talk his day was over soon enough and before he knew it, it was time to leave for the restaurant he had made reservations with.
Tony tells in great detail how annoying the replacement agent was and Ziva makes the occasional comment to convince them that is wasn't as bad as Tony led them to believe. Ducky was reminded of a time long ago when his assistant had been sick and Gibbs just sat there and sipped his water. Tim always wondered if the man drank anything other than coffee and Bourbon and now he had the answer. Before he realized the hour had passed and Gibbs announced that it was time to get back to the office. McGee was torn, he would love to go back with his team but he was exhausted and frankly, sleeping at his desk had never been his favorite thing. He waved for a taxi when Gibbs' familiar car stopped in front of him. He sat down and buckled his seat belt as quick as he could, much to Gibbs delight.
"I will keep you whole." he said with a smirk as he engaged in the traffic with an ease and finesse Tim had never seen before.
"Thanks boss." he says as he stifles a yawn. They don't speak and he is happy with that. Gibbs parks his car in front of his building and Tim is pleasantly surprised when he follows Tim into his apartment. He sits down on the couch and motions for Tim to sit next to him.
"Tim" he says hesitantly "You are one of the best agents I have ever worked with, but whatever is going on between you and Abby has to stop." Tim is opening his mouth and closes it again; he does it a few times before he realizes that he must look like a fish on land. Gibbs says nothing as he goes, leaving Tim with his thoughts.
The rest of the week he was busy catching up on the case they where currently working and fixing every single mistake his replacement had made. There was no time to visit Abby in the lab and he was quite happy about that to be honest. Before even realized it his first week back was done and everyone was satisfied about his first week back. Saturday came around and somewhere in the afternoon he started to freak out about the day he would have that evening with Nancy from human resources. He had always known that she was interested in him and he had used that knowledge to find a date. It might have not been the right thing to do, but he had asked her anyway so there was no turning back now.
He chose his favorite suit and checked his reservation with the restaurant online. Everything seemed fine and there was no reason not to go so he got in his car and drove to her apartment to pick her up. She was pleasant company and it wasn't had to keep up a conversation with her, they talked about their taste in movies, music, art and whatever else cropped up . It was nice and he realized that he had missed dating, a certain kind of intimacy with a person that had only eyes for you at that moment.
At the end of the evening he brought her home and standing in front of her door he had no idea what to do. He had loved the time they had spenttogether but at the same time his mind kept screaming that she wasn't Abby and therefore not good enough. She seemed to know as she kissed his cheek after saying her goodbye and left him standing outside with his misery.
It was almost eleven on a Saturday evening but McGee knew the one door that would be always open for him and Gibbs didn't seem really surprised when he sat on one of the steps leading to his basement.
"That bad huh?" he said while he continued to work at the boat. He wants to tell Gibbs everything, how he still loves her, and how none of the other people will be ever good enough for her but he doesn't. Gibbs knows so he accepts the beer Gibbs offers, and with that beer also a night in Gibbs' guestroom because there is no way that he is going to drive home while he had alcohol and painkillers.
He watched in silence as the sander went up and down the boat, the motions not only soothing his nerves but also helping him making up his mind. It is far past midnight as Gibbs puts the sander on his workbench and walks over to McGee, probably sending him to bed. McGee opens his mouth and is surprised by the words and thoughts that roll out.
"I am going to ask for relocation."
His eyes widen in shock as he realizes that it is something he wants, making a new start and he stands up, willing to run away but his body betrays him, which leaves him shivering with weak knees. Gibbs pushes him up the stairs in to the guestroom and tucks him in. It is a surprising loving gesture from a man who never really displays affection towards him and it makes him feel safe.
"If there is anything, you call me." Gibbs says "Anything at all, even if you just want to talk." he repeats before leaving Tim behind, not completely closing the door. He hears Gibbs enter the basement again and he drifts off with the soothing sound of woodworking in his ears.