inspired by Heat Haze Days.
it's truly a heartbreaking song, and has a lot of vague sense in it.
when i first heard it, i didn't get it.
but after a couple times and watching the PV, i realized just what those two star-crossed lovers went through for each other.
that made me think for a while.
i thought,
"Hey,
isn't
this
what
people
call
love?"
Heat Haze
Because no matter what I did, you still smiled, and you still said you loved me.
How many times have I hurt you?
Not again.
I think it's time for my turn now.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
As I gazed
blankly
at your hospitalized form,
your chest
rises
and falls
with every
artificial
breath you take.
The IV drip
attached to your arm,
I want to
rip it out.
Surely
the pain
will wake you
and you'll see me
waiting
at the foot
of your bed.
Hey,
didn't you ever
doubt
my love for you?
Didn't you ever
wonder
about our...
...relationship?
I
pushed
you away,
I
crushed
your flowers
under my foot,
I
rejected
your kindness
and gentle warmth.
I
never
once said,
"I love you."
Doesn't
that
bother
you...?
Doesn't
that
hurt
you...?
So why,
why,
do you still
tell me
you
love me?
Just
what
have
I
done
to
deserve
someone
as
good
as
you?
Things
like this
always happen.
The moment
you pushed me
out of
the way,
as I saw
that
red light
glare
through
the summer sun
heat haze
I've always
kind of
hated
and the
truck
that was
meant for me
hit you
and
it felt like
the world
stopped.
Your body
flew.
All I saw
was
red,
red,
red.
I still had
your blood
on
my jacket
and
my shoes.
Hey,
y'know,
the color
matched
my
Disciplinary Committee
armband
the moment
it
splattered
on
me.
Surely now,
that incident
will open your eyes
clearly
and make you see
just what
kind of
despicable
hated
disgusting
person
I am.
But hey,
hey,
I do,
y'know?
I really do
love you.
I just,
just...
can't
can't
can't
say it.
I'm
sorry.
I'm
so
so
sorry.
As I reach for that
transparent
line
attached
to your arm,
you open
your eyes.
Your eyes,
such a warm,
beautiful
kind
gentle
brown.
They
kinda
remind me
of
that
bittersweet
chocolate
you
made me
for
this year's
Valentine's.
Although,
I told you
cruelly
that I
threw it away,
calling it
disgusting.
But,
y'know...
I actually,
kept it
and ate it.
Hey,
y'know?
It was
really good.
Really...
really,
really...
good.
You knew
that
I
didn't like
sweets.
So
you
made it
a little
a tad bit
bitter,
didn't
you?
Hey...
y'know?
It was
perfect.
Your
fluffy
soft
coffee brown
hair
is all
over the place.
I can't help
but
smile
at that.
You
were always
always
so cute.
I was
afraid
that the others
would
take you away.
So I,
was always
making sure
I was
one
or two
steps
ahead
of you,
so that
you would always
try
and follow
after
my footprints.
My footprints,
that you cutely
try
to fit yours in,
when it snowed
and then
pout
that mine
were bigger than yours.
Of course,
I'll always be the taller one.
If you grow,
then I'll put
a big
effort
into getting
taller
because
I've always
liked
how you would
look up at me
with those
large
cute
adorable
adoring
admiring
eyes
of yours.
Those
eyes
that
are
staring
at
me.
"What is it?"
I ask
in a
hardly
audible
voice.
You smile
under that annoying
oxygen mask
and
your eyes
start
to water.
"Hibari-san,"
you breathe
and I can hear
the disbelief
and
utter happiness
in that
weak
strong
kind
loving
voice of yours.
I can't
say anything
because
I'm
starting
to
cry
too.
So,
instead,
I
reach over,
and
hold your hand.
I can't
take it anymore
and
I lay my head down
on
your sick bed.
I begin to cry.
Your tiny
enveloping
hand
squeezes
mine.
My shoulders
shake
as
I sob
and cry
and I
wet
your blanket
with my
salty
tears.
Hey,
y'know...
I'm a little
embarrassed now,
because
you once
told me
that my shoulders
and back
looked strong
and proud.
Hey,
y'know,
that
made me
really,
really,
really...
happy.
I was
glad
that I had
someone
like you
by
my side.
This
feeling
that
is uncontrollably
boiling
churning
writhing
inside me,
burning
my heart...
Perhaps,
is this
what
you feel
or felt
for me?
I lift
my face
off
your bed
and
stood.
"Tsunayoshi,"
I whisper
leaning
down
close.
Your eyes
look confused.
Of course
you would
be.
I've
never
done this
on
my own
accord.
But,
after almost
nearly
losing
you,
I
will
do
anything
for you.
Anything
everything
to make
you
happy
feel loved
smile
laugh
cry in joy
and
love me.
I know
it's selfish
greedy
sinful.
But,
y'know?
I
really do
love you.
I gently
grasp
the mask
on your face
and pull it off.
You're
surprised
startled
shocked
alarmed
panicked.
But
that's okay.
That side of you
is also
very
cute
y'know?
I look
into
your
brown
eyes
and
slowly
slowly
lean down.
As
I'm kissing you
I hope
my feelings
reached through
because I know
I don't
wear my heart
on my sleeve
like you do
and
I can't
say words
to
describe
things
like love
sadness
or anger.
I pull back
and smile
freely
at your
astonished
pleased
pleasant
happy
joyful
red
face.
I lean down
again
and whisper
into your ear,
"I love you."