You always get changed quickly, locker-room fast, head down, your back to a certain wall. Night after night instead of going out, you sit there across from her, neither of you breaking the silence. You don't want to talk to her. But you know that if you go to your room, she might climb to the third floor, her floor, and keep on going, until she gets to the fourth floor and that room and sits down...and watches.
You found out one day on accident. She would never volunteer the information herself. You couldn't find something, you happened to mention it, and without looking up from her book she told you it was under your desk. It was hard to keep your expression the same, to pretend you hadn't noticed. You saw her quickly hidden anxiety a moment later, and the way her eyes flickered as she tried to decide if you knew, and you ignored it all. And after that you always changed your clothes quickly...head down.
You have a pretty good idea of why, not that it makes things any easier to stomach. After the night that woman died and your little group fell apart, the two of you were alone. Gradually, she got like this. The guilt that drove Shinji away ate at her just the same...but it showed itself in a different way. Instead of running away she locked herself away. And lucky you, you found yourself locked in with her. You move around like a prisoner, and everywhere you look there are bars to keep you in line. A pointed inquiry if you don't come back right after practice. A displeased remark if you take a little too much delight in patrolling at night...the one time you feel free.
"This isn't a game, Akihiko."
You start to find more people, but after two years of things getting steadily worse, it doesn't help much. The Lost are increasing and nothing you do seems to make a difference with them...or with her. You begin to feel like you might have a breaking point, and you begin to feel like you might be approaching it. And then, one night...you get the answer you've been looking for.
That "answer" breaks your bones and chases you halfway across the city, but you don't mind. You welcome its deadly strength and its power. The worse, the better, because you want to see her face contort with shock when you lead it right to her. You want to finally show her something new after two endless claustrophobic years of having nothing new to show each other. You want this thing to break the cage into a million pieces, even if it breaks you along with it. And so you lead it, and you call her, unable to completely hide the smile in your voice.
"I wanted to let you know. I'm almost there."
Mitsuru.
Get ready to be surprised.