When Forever Ends.

"Hear You Me"

Forever.

It seemed such a simple word to describe what Edward and I had now that I was a vampire as well. Too simple in fact. Maybe there just wasn't a good enough word to describe what Edward and I were going to share for all of eternity.

I snuggled closer to the man I would always love -- the only man I had ever loved -- and sighed in contentment. Edward chuckled and pulled me closer kissing my hair. This moment was perfect. I had never, nor would I ever, want anything or anyone more than I wanted Edward.

My exsistance was complete.

"Bella... Bella..."

"Bella, please wake up honey." a familiar voice called. I could recognize the tone but, couldn't identify who it was. The voice just sounded too far away, like there was a wall between myself and whoever was calling for me.

"Come on, kid. Please wake up." a male voice whispered. I struggled to make out the voices but it was so dark. I wasn't with Edward anymore, I was somewhere else. Somewhere that was so foreign compared to the pure bliss I'd been entranced in moments ago. I wanted to break through the surface and find the people who so desperately wanted me to "wake up".

Something wasn't right. Where had Edward gone? And why was it so dark all of a sudden?

I tried to force my eyes open but they felt like someone was holding them closed. I tried to flex my hand, or anyother part of my body but nothing seemed to work right. Eventually, I was able to move my lips and utter a soft groan.

"Is she waking up? Doctor!" the first voice called. I was vaugely aware that the person, whoever they were, left the room. Once I gained some control over my mouth I fough to make my eyes work and won the battle after a few minutes.

I let out a gasp once they were opened.

Where was I? I looked around and saw that I was attached to monitors and had an IV attached to my wrist. A hospital? But I was a vampire now, what was I...?

Then I heard it.

The clear sound of my heart pounding in my head. I was scared, what was going on? I looked to my side and saw Charlie sitting next to me looking at the floor. He looked up and upon realizing I was awake gathered me into a hug.

"Oh thank god! Bells I thought we were going to lose you." he said and I could feel his tears soaking through my hospital gown. Then, Renee came back into the room with Dr. Gerandy following close behind. So it had been my parents voices that had awoken me.

"Bella." was all my mother said before joining Charlie in hugging me. I tried to think back, to find some possible explination for what was happening, but came up with nothing.

"Uhm, what's going on?" I asked. My voice came out hoarse and felt as though I hadn't used it in ages.

"You don't remember?" Renee asked pulling away to take a good look at me. I could only shake my head.

"Oh, sweetie. You were at school and one of your classmate's vans hit a patch of ice and... you were hit Bella. You've been out for a very long time." Renee explained looking like she would cry.

"Okay, is this some sort of sick joke?" I asked. Surely my parents didn't expect me to believe that story. Were they crazy? Something was up. Where was Edward, or Alice, or Carlisle? Where was everyone?

"Bella I wouldn't joke about something like this. Doctor do you think she's okay?" Renee said turning to look worridly at Dr. Gerandy. Before he could answer her I moved right along,

"Mom, that all happened years ago. And the van never hit me, don't you remember? Edward pulled me out of the way."

"Bells who's Edward?" Charlie asked looking into my face like I was the crazy one.

"That's not funny dad. Edward, you know, my boyfriend of the last two years? My husband?"

"Bella, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Dad, stop! Where's Edward?" I demanded. I could feel my breathing quicken. Edward should be here, he wouldn't be able to stay away. Why was everyone lying to me?

"Sweetheart, your father's right. We don't know who you're talking about."

"If I may Bella, do you remember having any strange dreams while you were asleep?" Dr. Gerandy asked coming forward.

"Dreams? No, the only strange thing is whatever's going on right now. Will somebody please tell me where Edward is? Or Jacob or Alice?" I asked frantically hoping that at least someone would be there who could tell me the truth.

"Jacob? You mean Billy's son? Since when have you been spending time with Jacob?" Charlie asked confused.

"Dad, Jacob and I have been bestfriends for two years."

"Bells, you haven't even been here a month yet." Charlie assured me.

I hadn't been in Forks for a month? Did Charlie really expect me to believe that everything I'd lived through had been nothing but a figment of my imagination? That everything, and everyone had been nothing but a dream?... Then again, how many times had I been waiting for Edward to disappear in a cloud of smoke? Hadn't I always been afraid that one day he wouldn't be there and someone would jump out and say 'ha the jokes on you'?

But it just couldn't be true. A world without Edward was... completely pointless.

"Please just tell me where they are." I begged becoming frantic.

"Where who is Bella?"

"The Cullens. Please, just let me talk to them. Just, tell me what's really going on here." I continued to plead. I could feel tears running down my cheeks and could only imagine what I must look like.

"Bella, there are no Cullens here. I think that maybe while you were asleep you may have had dreams. Probably very vivid dreams, that looked as though they were real. But you need to come to terms with reality dear. I'm sure that you can work through this." Dr. Gerandy explained warmly.

"No! Tell me, tell me right now, where is everyone!? Where is Edward? Please, please! I need him, where is he!?" I shouted frantically.

It couldn't be true. Edward had to exsist. There was just no other way for the world to keep spinning. He couldn't be a dream, not after all that we'd been through.

"Bella, calm down." Renee said taking a hold of my arm.

"No!" I shouted jerking it away from her grasp, "Please mom. Please just go get Edward. You have to find him. He and I... we belong together mom! Please!" I sobbed.

"Bells -"

"No, Charlie! I want to talk to him - now! I need him!" I screamed. I began thrashing around on the small hospital bed frantically, trying to get away from this sick joke of a reality. Renee enveloped my into a hug in an attempt to stop my movement but I continued to struggle.

"Please...please." I kept muttering through my tears. Edward wasn't here, and I couldn't handle that. And apparently he was never going to appear.

As I continued to sob I felt a needle prick into the skin of my arm. My fear of needles and injections was so far back in my mind that I didn't even care. Suddenly I was very tired and wanted to curl up and sleep. Sleep through what should have been mine and Edward's forever. If dreaming was the only way I could have him, then dreams were what I would have to settle for.

I felt my eyes droop and prepared myself for sleep. Hoping, above anything else that Edward was waiting on the other side.

But he wasn't.

--

Two weeks later, after I had been home from the hospital for three days, Renee left. She said that if I needed her she would get on the first flight to Forks, but that she needed to be home with Phil to. I'd told her not to worry and sent her on her way.

Charlie was lost. He didn't know how to stop his daughter from mourning over someone who'd never really died. Who'd never exsisted. What he didn't know is that Edward had, in fact, exsisted and that he had died. Just not anytime recently.

The night Renee left I turned on my ancient computer and typed; Spanish Influenza, Chicago, 1918 into the browser. Several newspaper articles came up that I sifted through and found nothing useful. But finally, after an hour of searching I found what I'd been looking for.

A list of people killed by the epidemic in Chicago that year.

It was listed alphabetically so I had no trouble searching until I found the 'M's' and then reaching the Masens. There staring me straight in the face was the name I had been searching for.

Masen, Edward Anthony Jr.

I fought back tears at the sight of the name. There was a link next to his name that I clicked on. An extremely old photograph appeared on the page; and there he was.

Edward. My Edward. Smiling at me dressed in old fashioned clothes. At the sight of him my compsure broke and the tears fell. I tried to be quiet so that Charlie wouldn't hear but the desperation took over and my tears turned to sobs.

It was in that moment that I knew. Edward had died.

Of course there was a voice in the back of my head that disagreed. 'Of course it says he died. Everyone thought he had before Carlisle changed him.'

But somewhere deep down I just knew that Carlisle had never changed Edward. He had never seen a day past seventeen. My sobs intensified at the thought. I knew that I had to get away from the computer, away from the house. I needed to be alone.

I needed to grieve for the man I'd never really met.

I rushed down the stairs, jacket in hand, trying to compose myself enough to talk to Charlie. He was watching a game in the living room but didn't really pay attention. I hated to see him so upset, to know that I had caused it. It felt so much like deja vu. Me, the helpless head case and poor Charlie not knowing what to do. I sighed and entered the room,

"Dad, I'm going to go for a drive. Clear my head, okay?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea Bells?" he asked worridly.

"I'll be fine Charlie I promise. Its not even dark yet."

"Well, okay. I guess it should be fine then. Just, be careful Bella."

"I will Dad, thanks." I said nodding and heading toward the door.

I walked across the wet driveway to my truck and climbed inside. Pulling out of the drive I had no idea where I was headed. I just kept my foot on the pedal and my hands on wheel, letting my mind take me wherever it would.

Edward wasn't a part of my life. He never had been. So why then, was it so hard for me to accept that he wasn't real? If I'd never actually had any attachment to him in the real world, why couldn't I let him go?

I knew the answer. Because dream or not, my time with Edward had made me feel whole. Complete. Perfect. How could all of that have been anything but reality? It was hard to believe that every kiss, every touch, every word, had been nothing but a trick of my mind.

I looked out the window and realized where I was headed. I drove down the familiar stretch of road to where the Cullen's driveway should have been. Only... there was nothing there. I parked my truck on the side of the road and got out. A fresh drizzle began to fall from the sky to I pulled up my hood and tightened my jacket.

I don't know what I expected to see when I stepped into the woods, but I certainly wasn't prepared for what I saw. Where the Cullen house should have been there was a small clearing.

So it was true. They really weren't here after all. Looking around the flat ground I could easily place where every room that was in the house would sit. I could almost imagine Edward's grand piano sitting off to the side. Could almost see Esme's small garden outside near the porch. Even Carlisle's well stocked library on the second floor eeked into my mind.

Once I'd throughly imagined their home I began to place the Cullens. Alice and Rosealie in Alice's room concocting the next outfit they'd plague me with. Jasper and Emmett making a bet and then preceeding to wrestle with one another to see who would win. Carlisle and Esme watching with pride and adoration as their children interacted. I saved the best vision of all for last.

Edward and I, in his room sitting on the rarely used bed marveling in one another's company.

I hugged my arms around my torso and rocked back in forth, willing the vision away. It hurt too much to think about. To dwell on what would never be -- and apparently had never been -- simply pained me.

The next day at school was better and worse. Better, because I had something to feebly try and distract myself with. Charlie inisisted that I wait a few days before attempting to get my life back in order. I think that I payed attention more that one day than I had in my entire school experience. I absorbed every word said, hoping that it would drown out where my thoughts were inevitably trying to lead me.

It was worse, because Edward wasn't there. None of them were. Walking into the cafeteria with Jessica, was like a strong wave of deja vu. It was so hard to believe that the "secluded" Cullen family wasn't sitting across the room from me.

I listened to everyone chattering around me -- several people even turned their attention toward me asking if I was alright. But every voice sounded foreign and so far from the one that I wanted to hear. On top of that, every face I passed while walking from class to class was a stranger. There was nothing familiar to comfort me, here. Not anymore.

There's no one in town I know

You gave us someplace to go

I never said thank you for that

Thought I might get one more chance

After school I didn't head home like I'd initially planned. Instead I drove around, searching for something -- anything really -- to take my mind of my fantasy life.

The only problem was that in a town the size of Forks, running away from your problems was easier said than done. It seemed like everywhere I turned there was something to remind me. It was though every stretch of bright green forest were there only to mock me. Only to make me wonder if Edward was running through their depths.

I drove faster -- desperate to escape. Only, what was I running from?

What would you think of me now?

So lucky, so strong, so proud

I never said thank you for that

Now I'll never have the chance

Nothing.

I was running from absolutely nothing. Because the memories I wanted to evade weren't even real. They were a figment of my imagination. You know you've hit rock bottom when you're running away from your own mind.

I hit the accelerator and pushed my ancient truck well beyond its limits. A few minutes later I was in La Push -- not exactly out of the woods so to speak, but hopefully far enough away to evade the thoughts of him for a little while. I drove past the beach and looked out my window to see an astonishing sight.

Jacob Black.

Not the Jacob I remembered -- but a younger, more boyish version of my werewolf best friend. I silently scolded myself remembering that he was never a werewolf, but there he was. It looked as though he was with Quil and Embry playing a ball game of some kind. They were all laughing and seemed to be enjoying themselves. The roar of my engine didn't even so much a turn a head.

A part of me had been hoping that it would. That Jacob would recognize the sound and invite me to come down and spend time with them. That like he had done once in another life when my world had been shattered, he would allow me to escape. But he just continued tossing the ball around, not even noticing my presence.

My heart ached, but I continued ahead. Down another familiar stretch of road I saw the cliffs where I'd nearly done myself in -- or at least I thought I had -- after Edward left me. I don't know what compelled me to do it, but I parked my car and got out shutting the door and hearing the cab vibrate from the impact. I tightened my jacket around me and walked to the edge.

May angels lead you in

Hear you me my friends

On sleepless roads the sleepless go

May angels lead you in

I kicked a stone over the edge of the cliff and watched as it made its way down, into the rolling waves. A soft rain began to fall and I turned my face to the sky, closing my eyes and feeling the cool drops on my cheeks.

None of it was real. If I hadn't been sure before, the statement had just been proven by my less than interaction with Jacob moments before. In reality -- I was hit by Tyler's van, nearly losing my life, and had been in more or less a coma for a few weeks.

There were no vampires or werewolves, no heros and villians. I was just plain old Bella Swan, who'd exilled herself to Forks for her mother's happiness. Bella Swan, who in her own crazy head had created a whole other life for herself. One that she wanted so much more than anything the real world had to offer. But that wasn't possible, the only time that world came to life was when I was unconsious.

My snapped down, away from the sky and gentle rainfall. Only when I was unconcious. I could be with Edward so long as I was asleep. I looked down into the frenzy of waves rolling along the ocean. If sleep was all it took to bring my dream alive... then maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't ever wake-up. Maybe, a never-ending rest would bring me back the eternity I'd worked so hard for.

I walked closer to the edge. I'd done this before -- sort of. In the dream reality I wanted so desperately, I had jumped from this very ledge clinging to the voice of my true love. Edward's words had softened the fall. They had made facing death so... bearable.

So who was to say I couldn't do it again? Who said that I couldn't take hold of the hallucinations I'd once clung to in a last effort to be with my fictional vampire?

So slowly that I didn't realize what I was doing, I began to unlace my boots. After removing my socks and carefully placing them in my shoes I stood and reveled in the feel of the smooth stone against my feet. I crept closer to the edge, looking down the entire way.

Edward, my Edward -- was there just under the surface of the crashing waves. I knew it in my gut. All I had to do was walk off and I could be with him again. I was like Juliet, dying for my Romeo.

Edward and I had often had the dispute over wether or not vampire's had souls. He could argue forever but I always knew that no matter what, a soul a pure as Edward's had to achieve some sort of after life. I could only hope that once I made my move, I had that same chance.

But in that moment -- I knew.

I knew that by making the ultimate sacrifce for my love that had never been, I would be rewarded. As I'd assured myself before, Edward was there. He was waiting for me to make my move. Because even if our story -- our world -- had been nothing but make believe, there was no denying that we were soul mates. No one could deny that we were meant to be with another. There was just one obstacle left standing in my way.

And if you were with me tonight

I'd sing for you just one more time

A song for a heart so big

God couldn't let it live

May angels lead you in

Hear you me my friends

On sleepless roads the sleepless go

I curled my toes over the edge of cliff and leaned forward.

This was it. There were no werewolves in jump in after me. No heros left to save me. I was giving my boring life up for one the only one that mattered. The one where, I had everyone I wanted and loved, plus so, so much more. I was cashing out and moving on to a better place.

One where the impossible was possible.

And as I fell over the edge, I wasn't scared. In a sick sort of way I was over-joyed. Because when I hit the water's surface I didn't feel pain. I felt my body being envoloped in a stone strong embrace. And the next time I opened my eyes, I wasn't alone. I didn't seen the bleak Forks sky and an ocean full of possibilities stretched before me.

I saw the topaz eyes that I had died for. I was in the only embrace I'd ever wanted to feel -- I was with the only man I'd ever loved. He cupped my cheek in his strong hand and smiled the crooked grin I loved, then he kissed my forehead and leaned toward my ear.

"Forever, love. I love you, Bella."

May angels lead you in.

Not going to say much, because I don't want to ruin the moment. But this song means a lot to me so I wanted to do something with it. And then this tear-fest was born. Please review.