Dean heard the knock and knew, in that split second, he had to make a decision.
His brother wasn't here just to say goodnight. Dean wiped his face and answered, "yeah", as he watched for the turn of the door knob but got a question instead.
"You all right?"
"I'm fine, Sammy. I mean Sam." He didn't know why he said that. Then he quickly got up and reached for the door knob but it was already turning.
As the door opened, Dean took a step back and Sam walked in. They looked at each other but didn't, really. Dean sat down on the bed while motioning towards a chair for his bother to sit.
The air was heavy. The timing of Sam's visit was not coincidental and Dean was a little embarrassed. They had a short conversation, in unison:
"Listen…"
"No, you…"
Finally, Sam put up the stop sign, at which point, his brother clasped his hands between his knees and hung his head.
"Dean, I didn't mean to but I heard some of what you were saying."
Anger surfaced first. "Dammit, Sam, there's such a thing as privacy, you know!" Then in a softer tone, "I wasn't that freaking loud."
Now, it was Sam's turn to be embarrassed. "No, you weren't and I'm sorry but can we talk about it?"
Big brother had his pride. Talk about what? His private feelings? His personal conversations? That wasn't happening.
Since Dean answered only with a face, Sam continued.
"Look, we're both pretty messed up right now. And we're really in the middle of a giant pile. But, you were right about one thing, though. We are all we have and besides that, we do make a pretty good team as somebody once said."
The memory of that brought a smile to his face.
"I can't let it go but we do need each other." He paused to choose his words and Dean took advantage to press the issue.
"What are you saying, Sam?"
After blowing out a long breath, Sam continued. "Like I said, I can't let it all go. And we've still got some stuff to fix, but if we can avoid the "f" word, let's just see how it goes, you know, one day at a time?"
Dean's confused expression changed almost immediately into a slight smile as he caught the allusion to "family". He nodded and thought how he would have to thank Cas for his help. His only verbal response was an almost inaudible "awesome".
They kept talking until they were both just too tired.
As Sam stood to leave, he put a hand on his brother's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Walking towards the door, he heard Dean say, "Goodnight Sam." He smiled, looked back and replied, "Goodnight, Dean and it's ok to say Sammy."