Disclaimer I'm still broke, and I don't own anything. Sailor Moon and all its characters belong to the one and only Naoko Takeuchi. I'm just a girl with a wide imagination here... so please don't sue me!

You are your planet

Summary: Michiru is in the mood, but her fellow Senshi get into the most ridiculous argument, getting her all distracted from her original plan. How to get back on track, when Haruka is being completely unaware of the aquamarine haired woman's intentions?

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I took a sip from my green tea, as I flip the pages of the Bible. A.K.A., Cosmopolitan magazine.

I know, so typically girly. But I am a girl. Ok, I'm nineteen already, but adolescence is considered to last until the mid twenties, so by that alone, I still have a few more years to act all girly. Which I don't, anyway. And really, there's no harm in reading a nice magazine, right? Specially when there's so many good advices on fashion, make up, cool places to hang out, and all that kind of interesting stuff... Like this one over here. 'Tricks to surprise your man'.

I bet I look like the Grinch right now, grinning like a maniac, just by reading the tittle of this particular column.

Very productive column, may I say. Ok, so I don't have a 'man', and I really don't want one. But I do know one particular tall blonde woman that would most certainly appreciate these little tricks here... Lets see... what do I need? Sexy lingerie. Covered. Handcuffs? Hm... I can pull that off. Blindfold? I'm really liking this already... Just imagining her whimpering and pleading, twisting that perfect body of hers...

Oh yes, folks, you heard me right. The almighty Sailor Uranus, begging. And she makes such a pretty, sexy sight, too! And on those moments, she looks so beautiful, so feminine, with her soft gasps and moaning... Ok, I'm getting horny now. Hm... I wonder how long until Hotaru goes to bed...

Damn, it's still too early to send her to bed. Maybe I can just kidnap my woman... Yup, that sounds about right. Now, where is my hot sexy blonde when I need her? I'm really looking forward to see her whimpering and gasping and moaning, with her shining, sweating skin brushing against mine, and her perfect...

A really loud scream interrupts my current chain of thoughts, and I look up at my daughter frowning, but actually worried over her desperate cry.

"What is it, sweetie?" I ask her, worried upon noticing her big, beautiful violet eyes watering, as she stares at the computer screen with a petrified, terrified expression on her pretty little face.

She looks at me, sniffling, and then looks back at the screen. An accusing, trembling finger pointing at the screen.

"I lost my rings!" she whimpers.

"What?" comes Setsuna's voice from the hallway. Apparently, she heard the scream too, and she looks just as worried and confused as I'm sure I look "What are you talking about?"

"What happened?" comes my girl's voice as she runs into the living room. Shirt half buttoned up, short blonde hair wiping wet. No pants. And she's not wearing a bra either, I can tell. I mean, I know her body as well as I know mine -maybe even more, considering the many, many, many hours I have spent exploring it....

Yup, my sexy blonde just got out of the shower, and was in the middle of getting dress when she heard Hotaru's scream. And she looks so damn hot right now!

Bad Michiru! Focus! Your daughter is crying! No time to think about Haruka being half naked!

"I lost my rings!" Hotaru repeats, before she covers her face with her hands "I'm ugly!"

"Huh?" Haruka, in one of her not-so-smart moments, asks, standing right beside her and looking at the screen to find out what exactly has provoke such a scream from our daughter. And then she rolls her green eyes, hand over her chest "Don't' scare me like that! I thought there was an attack or something!"

"But Haruka-papa! This is worst!" Hotaru argues "Without them I'm just... ugly!"

Ok, now I'm really lost. What rings? What is she talking about? I got up and walk up to them. Setsuna is already there, reading whatever it is Hotaru red, and she's discreetly trying not to laugh.

And then I read it. 'Saturn's rings are disappearing'. I frown at the first lines, but then I smile and look down at my still scared looking daughter "Sweetie, it's just an optical illusion. See? It says so right here" I point to her some paragraphs below the head tittle for her to relax a little.

"I don't care!" she exclaims "Don't you get it, Michiru-mama? Without my rings, I'm just a plain stupid ball of gas floating out there!"

"Ok, first of all, you're not plain and stupid" Setsuna states, and I have to fully agree with her. But Hotaru's going through her very first period; after all that growing old and young back and forth for so long, she's finally being a normal girl. She's thirteen now, and because she has her period right now, she's not only PMS, she's also being extremely sensitive about every single little thing.

Oh, my little girl is growing up! And at a normal rate, too!

"And second" Setsuna continued "you're Sailor Saturn, not the planet itself..."

"Yeah, Setsuna's right" Haruka interrupts. And by the grin on her face, I know she's about to play a joke on someone "I mean, look at Pluu here. She's not a dwarf, is she?" she turns towards Setsuna, looking her up and down. And I bet she's enjoying way too much the height difference between them right now "Are you?"

"Of course not!" Setsuna exclaims, narrowing her eyes at my lovely, and right now quite mean looking girlfriend "And don't call me that!"

"What?" Haruka asks, and I find it really hard to fight down my giggles "Dwarf, or Pluu?"

"Pluu!" she answers. But then she frowns, and growls "Both!" she yells now.

"Why would she be a dwarf?" Hotaru asks, so innocently. Only to make Haruka's grin get bigger. Is it me, or there are actually little red horns popping out from her forehead right now? I swear, if she comes up with Lucifer's trident, I won't be surprised...

"Because, you see, astronomers just discovered Pluto is actually a dwarf planet" she explains, in such a tone of voice that she's making Setsuna quite angry at her. And, of course, she knows that. She's doing it on purpose "That means is just a wannabe, but not the real thing..."

"Oh, shut up, you ice giant!" Setsuna growls at her, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Hey!" I exclaim. I'm offended by that. I'm an ice giant too! At least, according to astronomers... why am I having this argument?

"Pluto is not a real planet, then?" Hotaru ask. Really, sweetie, don't get your Haruka-papa more arguments to annoy poor Sets here...

"Yes it is!" Setsuna claims, exasperated.

"No, it's not" my blonde girlfriend says, looking quite amused over the stupid argument.

And I find myself being just as amused as she is. Really, stupid arguments between these two are quite the entertainment. I mean, really, watching two grown women fighting over stupid things, like the domain of the remote control, or why the scenes on 'the fast and the furious' are completely unrealistic, or even which ice cream flavor is the best to drown in when one is on a lazy mood, is completely and utterly stupid and funny.

And of course, those arguments are our dirty little secrets. I mean, we're the Outer Senshi, for crying out loud! We're suppose to be mature and sophisticated and poised! Right? So, we keep the intimacy of our home to ourselves.

"Here, let's check it up on the internet" Haruka says, going to some on line encyclopedia "See? Right here. Pluto is the second largest known dwarf planet in the Solar System. Classified as a planet from its discovery in 1930 until 2006, Pluto is now considered the largest member of a distinct population called the Kuiper belt" she reads. And then she frowns "Hey! So you're not just a wannabe! You're an outsider!" she exclaims.

"Excuse me?" Setsuna asks, now obviously offended.

"Intruder" Haruka accuses.

"Ruka, baby, really..." I try to shut her up. But I can tell she's nowhere near done messing with Setsuna. She's in the right kind of mood to mess with the Time Senshi, and here I am, in the right kind of mood to ravish my windy girl! I think we really need to synchronize our mind frequencies...

"At least I'm not a stupid giant ball of gas that rotates to the wrong side" Setsuna argues.

"It's called axial tilt" Haruka states "Or being original. It's up to you" she adds, looking quite proud of that one fact.

I just look at them, frowning. When did they become such experts in astronomy, anyway?

"But I shouldn't really be surprised at that one, now should I?" Setsuna says, arms crossed over her chest, and looking all smugly right now "I mean, you do rotate to the other side, don't you?"

Should I be offended by that? Mm... I wonder... I look at Haruka, to see her only response is one perfect blonde eyebrow going up.

"Hey, check this out!" Hotaru exclaims, getting our attention to her again "Modern interpretations associate Uranus with sudden and unexpected changes, freedom and originality. It is said to upset established structures, being unconventional, and it's often associated with homosexuality"

"Again, not surprised here" Setsuna murmures, her own eyebrow going up, and looking at Haruka. "They got that one right"

"Are you trying to insult me here?" Haruka asks, looking everything but insulted. She actually looks quite amused.

Ok, I have to admit, that description does sound a lot like Haruka... even thou it is only astrology mambo jambo.

"'Cause really, it's not working" she continues, one finger tapping on her chin in a wondering manner, and looking at Hotaru for help "Why am I not offended here, again?"

"Because you are unconventional, and free spirited, and homosexual" Hotaru answers, nodding her head and looking all proud at her papa.

Really, those two can be terrible when they want to...

"Right! That's why!" she exclaims, her smile a happy smile now, turning back to Setsuna and crossing her arms over her chest "You really need to work on your insults, Pluu"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Sure thing, Dwarf "

"That too!"

"Hey, we're just stating facts about each planet. You just happen to be a fake one"

Setsuna growls at her, narrowing her eyes, before she extends her hand, and her Time Staff appears in her hand.

And that's when I freak out. 'Cause, really, how am I suppose to try those new tricks I just red about, when Haruka is busy in the fifteenth century? Or worse, being hit by that asteroid that killed the dinosaurs!

I kinda like her here with me, you know? So I can use her as my pillow -among other things I can use her as... And I happen to be in love with this mean blonde, so I can't really let her go into God knows what century or parallel universe, leaving me behind and all alone, right? So, stopping the mad woman with the Time Staff is priority right now!

I jump in between them, right in front of Haruka, and facing Setsuna. The Time Staff is now pointing at me, and I gulped.

Maybe going back in time and meeting Michelangelo is not that bad, if Haruka is with me, right? Could be interesting! And maybe we can make the whole facing dinosaurs a nice training program or something. I mean, youmas usually look like those, don't they? Big, ugly, with unclean mouths and no brain whatsoever. Right? Only, you know, smaller...

What am I thinking! Focus, Michiru, focus!

"Ok, time off!" I exclaim. And then I frown at how ironically fitting that one phrase is...

"If Haruka-papa is an unconventional gay woman, and Setsuna-mama is a dwarf, and I'm loosing my rings... then I am ugly!" Hotaru exclaims, getting our attention again.

I roll my eyes. I think I need a vacation. Away from all of them!

"No, sweetie" I say to my daughter "Setsuna is not a dwarf, and you're not ugly, because, we're not freaking planets! We are people!"

"But I..." Haruka starts to say something, but I clap my hand to her mouth, shutting her up before she can say anything at all.

"And Saturn is not loosing its rings, it's just an optical illusion" I continue, before looking at Setsuna and at the Time Staff still pointing at us "And you, Sets, really. You should know better than to listen to Haruka"

"But she's our leader" Hotaru points out. And I swear I never wanted to scream at her so much, as I do right now.

But instead, I take a deep breath "No, Sailor Uranus is our leader" I say, trying to sound rational, and ignoring how stupid I actually sound right now "Haruka is just a mean, bored out of her mind, crazy woman in deep need of an attitude change"

"Hm!" I hear Haruka complaining against my hand, and even though I'm not looking at her right now, I know she's looking at me with the most insulted face ever. Oh, don't worry, love, I'm sure I can come up with a way or two to make you forget all about me insulting you. Which reminds me...

"Put that thing away" I say to Setsuna "I'm gonna have a little chat with the mean, crazy blonde right now" I announce, dragging Haruka all the way up the stairs.

I just sounded convincing, didn't I? I mean, they probably think Haruka and I are about to have an argument, which means they'll stay away from our bedroom until we decided to come out again...

Perfect. Just perfect! I grin like a maniac, and I completely ignore the hurt, insulted, worried look Haruka is giving me right now, as I drag her all the way down the hallway.

"Ouch, Michi!" Haruka complains at my strong hold on her wrist "That hurts, you know?" she says, and then she frowns at me, her shoulders falling down "Are you mad at me?" she asks, in a husky whisper.

And between us, I love her husky voice! It's just so damn sexy! But no need to tell her that just yet, right? Where's the surprise factor if I tell her that?

"Oh, shut up" I say in such a tone, that she actually does exactly that. I bet she's really worried now. I'm mean, I know. But, hey! She's going to be really, really happy with me dragging her all the way to our bedroom in about two minutes... right?

We enter our room, and Haruka reluctantly walks in, sitting on the bed and looking up at me with those beautiful green eyes of hers. Yup, she's really worried I'm going to explode on her.

Oh, baby, you look so cute just now! I simply turn around, locking the door just in case one of our roommates decides to check on me not killing the blonde woman. It happened before... so it's best if I'm careful, right?

"I was just joking around..." Haruka mumbles, falling down on the bed now, looking up at the ceiling. Her hands playing mindlessly with her short blonde hair.

I smile at her words, as my eyes catch Haruka's black kerchief laying on the floor. I do need a blindfold, don't I? I take the kerchief, walking up to my lovely girlfriend, my smile never fading, and turning into quite a mischievous one.

"Oh, don't worry, babe" I say to her "You just gave me the perfect excuse to kidnap you and try a new little trick on you" I continue, as I straddle her, looking down at her surprised face.

"Oh?" she asks, now with a half sided smile on her sexy, sexy lips "Am I being punished now?"

"Oh yeah" I answer her, bending down to kiss her deeply, my hands going to her face to cover her eyes with the kerchief.

It's time to punish my favorite blonde. I did say I enjoy watching her whimpering and pleading, didn't I?