Once Upon a time, Saul was a Target worker. Saul was an atheist and a vegan and hated Christians as well as their Jesus. Saul was restocking the Pokemon cards when a person came up to him.

Person: Excuse me?

Saul: What?

Person: Do you know where the books are?

Saul: Uhh they're over there.

Person: Thanks. I'm looking for a Bible because I lost my old one.

Saul: Wait what?

When Saul heard those 5 letters his heart filled with rage. He brought out his boogie bomb and blew up Target never to return ever again.

Then, Saul called an Uber because he was too broke to buy a car.

Saul: Alright, I'm going to go to my Jewish priest so I can execu-

A car stopped at the driveway almost hitting Saul.

Saul: Is that my uber driver?

Suddenly the uber driver car came in and a mysterious man got out. Saul made the scared face.

Jesus: It's time to sack up, vegan.

Saul: Who are you? You don't look like my uber driver.

Jesus put his infinity gauntlet on his hand.

Jesus: I am Jesus.

Jesus snapped his fingers.

That's when Saul knew, he made the biggest oopsie whoopsie ever. He went completely blind and cried before the Lord for 9382 years. Jesus called over His disciple Ananias and told him to drag Saul to Damascus. 54274 years later Jesus returned to Saul because He forgot one thing.

Jesus pulled a pamphlet from His beard and gave it to Saul.

Jesus: Convert religions?

Saul: Anything for you, Jesus.

Saul signed the pamphlet and then suddenly his blindness perished.

Saul: Holy macaroni, I'm not blind anymore.

Jesus: Alright, I'm logging off.

Saul: Wait Jesus, where are you going?

Before Jesus could even respond. A UFO appeared in the sky and snatched Jesus from the ground. The UFO ascended into the heavens so high at 700 mph. Jesus flew into the sky, leaving Saul alone. He emptied out the boogie bombs from his pockets and threw them in the trash. Saul sat on the ground for another 9564 years not knowing what to do until,

Saul: You know what, I'm gonna change my name because it really sucks now ,when I think of it.

So that was what happened. Saul went over to an attorney in court and changed his name to Paul which took 376 years. Paul was then finally happy even though it was like year 4032 and the 3rd Nuclear War. He started preaching to people, writing letters, and stuff like that. Then, he lived happily ever after.