A/N: Hey there! I'm BACK, with a brand-new oneshot. (grins with excitement)
This fic is a more or less proud piece of my continuously expanding 'The One Thing You Want' –collection. (grins) A dear reader of mine requested a SasuHina, and I just couldn't resist writing one when this idea struck me.
This is set before and after the current manga events.
WARNINGS: SPOILERS (?), sadness, oddness… Heh, I think that's about it, un.
DISCLAIMER: Do you honestly think I could make money with these scribbling, even if I tried? (starts laughing hysterically) That's a good one!
Awkay, now that the introductions are done… (rubs hands together with excitement, then gulps nervously) Goodness, how I hope ya'll enjoy this!
Why is the one thing you want often the only thing you can't have?
The One Thing You Want - Hana
"What was the trouble? Some sort of love triangle?" (1)
No, it wasn't a love triangle. From the very beginning it'd been a square.
At the age of six, Sasuke – who'd been wandering around Konoha – frowned when hearing the unmistakable sound of someone crying. For a moment he thought about simply walking away, but in the end the temptation and his curiosity took the best of him. His steps weren't quite as silent as he would've hoped while he sneaked towards the sound – and blinked several times at the sight that met him.
Sitting on the ground, her back leaned against a rock, was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. She had her face buried into her hands, and her whole tiny frame was shuddering with inconsolable sobs.
It took a moment before he managed to gather himself enough to take a step forth and speak. "Hey. What's wrong?"
The girl jumped with startle, then looked towards him with eccentric, wide and pale eyes. "W-Who are y-you?" she all but piped out, her teary voice startled.
He felt somewhat disappointed for her not recognizing him as a mighty Uchiha, but that didn't discourage him. "I'm Sasuke", he announced, as though that would've explained everything. Then, not waiting for her permission, he walked up to her and sat beside her. "What's your name?"
He was pleased to discover that although she still shivered a little, the girl was at least calmer. "H-Hinata." She then blushed and looked away, obviously embarrassed by his presence. "I… I didn't think a-anyone would f-find me here."
He shrugged. "It's okay, to cry I mean." He focused on the grass and flowers spreading around them. "Dad cried, yesterday – I heard him. He spent an hour in the bathroom after we visited brother in the hospital. I cried, too – I was scared."
He sensed that Hinata relaxed slightly. "Oh."
A thoughtful silence fell between the children, until he finally noticed something. There, only a couple of steps away from him, was a breathtakingly beautiful white flower that seemed to be shining in the sun. Without really thinking he walked up to the plant and picked it up.
Hinata blinked with something that looked like stun when he handed the flower towards her. "Huh…?"
His cheeks felt hot as he spoke. "I… I just wanted to give you this", he blurted out.
A radiant blush appeared to Hinata's face. "T-Thank you."
When he came home an hour later, his mother immediately asked him if something special had happened.
"Yeah", he replied in less than a beat, his voice filled with childish enthusiasm and his eyes shining. "Mom, I fell in love."
But unfortunately Sasuke soon came to learn that as praised and admired as they were, the Uchihas were cursed when it came to love.
The years they both spent studying were sizzling to Sasuke. Although his pride was against such childish behaviour he kept sneaking glances towards the young Hyuuga-heiress, and he spent several nights dreaming of her. Unfortunately her thoughts and dreams weren't of him.
For swiftly and without a warning Naruto Uzumaki appeared to the picture. Whereas he couldn't even bring himself to really talk to her, this annoyingly loud boy stole all her attention.
They were only just children, yes, but Sasuke was much too aware of what being abandoned and rejected felt like. And whenever he saw the looks Hinata darted towards the blond he felt pain inside. It only made things worse that Naruto didn't seem to even notice her.
One day he was hurting enough to actually break down into tears when coming home from the Academy. And of course there had to be a knock on the door of his room.
He wiped his tears rapidly. "Y-Yeah?" He hated how his voice shook and nearly broke, but couldn't help it.
Itachi's expression was somewhat worried when his brother peered in. "Hey." The older boy sat to his bedside, observing his expression. "What's wrong?"
His brother's genuine worry made it impossible for him to hold himself back. Before he even knew what was happening he broke into pitiable sniffs, pouting. "Girls are stupid. And Naruto is a idiot."
Fortunately Itachi didn't ask anything more. They spent the upcoming two hours like that, he sobbing and his brother wrapping one supportive arm around him.
Their parents obviously wondered what was going on when they saw Sasuke's tear-stained face, but Itachi was merciful enough not to tell them anything.
No matter how hard he fought against it since, Sasuke didn't manage to forget his infatuation towards Hinata. Instead his feelings kept growing as years passed.
The night of the massacre shattered almost all his life. The only thing that didn't change was his feelings for her. But no matter how strong the currents he tried to hide were, they weren't enough to turn around the inevitable.
Over the years they fell further and further apart – he sinking into the darkness to which fate had led him, and she following whom she considered her sun and brightest star.
He was nothing but an avenger – she didn't even know what she was.
Their paths weren't meant to cross and mangle, no matter how much he would've wanted them to. And as time passed his secret – everything he was forced to hold back – turned him so bitter and cold that it felt like she'd stolen the little light he'd had.
He often watched her picking flowers in the midnight. He never gave her a single one. And in the end the barrier of unsaid words and undone deeds widened the gap between them until they were like two strangers. The dreams he'd once had turned into nothing but bittersweet memories.
What no one ever got to know, was that Sakura wasn't the only person Sasuke ran into the night he left Konoha. For he made a one more turn before heading towards his destined path.
As he sneaked into Hinata's room, Sasuke absently mused that if anyone would've seen him, they would've probably thought he was insane. But no, that wasn't the case – as always he had a clear goal, a mission to complete.
He'd come to say goodbye to the one thing he'd ever wanted. And it hurt far more than he'd known to expect.
For almost an hour he simply stood there by her bedside, watching how she slept with the most serene expression he'd ever seen. In the end the temptation became too much. His hand didn't tremble while he laid it softly to Hinata's.
And for that one moment he blocked his ears, pretended that it was his name she murmured and his hand she tried to very hard to find.
The first and last kiss he ever gave was the one he planted to her warm, slightly flushed cheek. It was chaste and lighter than a butterfly's wings, but nonetheless carried far more than any words.
In her slumber Hinata frowned and shifted restlessly, and he realized that his forbidden visit had already lasted too long. Without making a sound he got up from his seat and turned around, as though hoping to seal her out of his life. And in a flash he'd left the room without casting a glance backwards.
He'd never looked back. Why start now, when the last of his heart was already shattered?
That night he thanked Sakura, at the same time saying goodbye to her as well.
For the first time he understood the weight and ache she'd been carrying around for such a long time. And she'd endured it all for him. Finally he managed to understand her.
As he left the village, he wondered if she'd ever know just how much stronger than he she was.
In the depths of the hell he fell into Sasuke needed something – someone – to keep him from losing his soul completely. Quite unsurprisingly it turned out to be Hinata.
When he trained to the point of near-unconsciousness, his mind strayed much too often into imagining her watching. And those few nights when he actually slept, he always dreamt of her. Of how things could've been if fate had for once been on his side, of how things should've been.
Aren't the sweetest dreams always of those things we'll never have?
From the beginning, Sasuke had known better than to fool himself. The night he'd crossed Konoha's borderline – betrayed everything he'd been raised to respect and protect – he'd known he'd done the unforgivable. He'd known that the next time he'd see the village, it'd be the death of him.
But almost no human being is bold enough to face their end without feeling a little bit of fear, bitterness and remorse. Sasuke Uchiha was no exception.
His eyes were even redder than the substance staining his shoes, clothes and sword as he watched Danzo's corpse, which was slumped to the floor before him. A million thoughts and emotions twirled amongst the black spots of his eyes while he drew in a breath after another.
It was over – he'd finally done what he'd been dreaming about so long. It was over, in far more ways than one. He'd succeeded; they were all dead.
But he didn't feel happy or fully content, only exhausted to the core. He shivered, so slightly that even he didn't notice it. His eyes refused to leave the body, as though afraid it'd come back to life.
His head rose in an instant and Sharingan spun madly when he heard approaching, hurrying steps. He turned his gaze, his eyes flashing furiously and his whole being ready and willing to fight – but he froze.
For the person he faced was none other than Hinata. Her wide eyes, those he'd seen in many dreams, were filled with a mixture of shock and terror.
Although he tried to shake away such a feeling his heart moved painfully, as though wanting to give him a painful reminder.
In the middle of all this… He'd never wanted her to be afraid of him.
She was the one person he'd never wanted to hurt – and now…
It was a miracle his expression remained stoic and unreadable when he turned to face her, his hand sliding away from the weapon it'd grabbed. "Hinata."
She shook her head, furiously. And suddenly her eyes were no longer those scared, insecure ones – instead he met fire that could only be caused by one thing. "You… You hurt him." Her voice wasn't the one he'd heard in all those dreams. This tone was strong, almost furious. "He spent all these years trying to catch you, dreaming of getting you back – he… he went through so much for you! And you… you hurt him – he… he might die because of you!"
In a flash Naruto's screams given during their recent battle – sounds of fury and determination – reiterated in his ears, and his eyes narrowed slightly with something he couldn't understand. Nothing had ever hurt more than Hinata's words, because now he knew for sure.
He'd lost her, forever. Or no, not exactly. He'd never even had her to begin with.
A wise man might've used the following moments with words of regret and remorse, with trying to fix the damage. But he'd never been wise. Therefore he outstretched his already bloodied sword, which seemed almost black in the room's darkness, and brought it directly to her throat. His hand didn't weaver even the slightest when he measured up her eyes that kept changing several times in one breath. Surprise, fear and rage fought over control, making her pale eyes look more alive than anything he'd ever seen.
It was bitterly amusing, really, that in those few soundless moments Sasuke Uchiha felt true love for the first and last time in his life.
Then their moment was cut as more people barged into the room. Some gasps and snarls were heard when the arrivals took in the odd scene. "Hinata!"
"Get the hell away from her!"
He kept looking into her eyes for a one last second – as though memorising or contemplating – then allowed his blade to fall. He didn't fight back as they strapped him, only allowed his eyes to darken once more and look gloomily towards the people in the room. They all seemed so very shocked by his lack of resistance.
He had nothing to lose. He'd gained everything he'd ever wanted.
Or no, he was forced to add as his eyes strayed to Hinata's back for one forbidden moment. Almost everything.
For him it was always 'almost'.
Sasuke met the day of his final judgement even sooner than he'd expected. For only two days after he'd finished exacting his revenge, he was pushed down to his knees to the filthy, reeking wooden platform of an execution stand. His eyes flamed with fury that refused to become tamed and he grit his teeth with a hiss, but didn't try to fight back. There were more than enough people watching over to make sure the Uchiha clan would be vaporized – he wouldn't even get a chance; that much became clear from what the crowd shouted.
Besides, he reminded himself sullenly while lifting his gaze. What point was there in fighting anymore?
For as he looked towards the audience he found a all but hysterically crying, still wounded Naruto, who was screaming something he couldn't make out while struggling against two strong appearing men. But the boy wasn't alone. On his other side stood Sakura – who seemed to be crying with her eyes closed – and his other side was occupied by Hinata. The Hyuuga's hand was rested on Naruto's shoulder in a manner that explained everything necessary.
The hit he received at that moment was far harsher than any executioner's. A tiny, wry smile rose to his face.
To think that now of all times he was finally seeing clearly…
He was almost surprised by the fact that he could still make out the thumping of his heart while he closed his eyes, not wanting to see anything more of this world. The one thing he wanted to savour and take along before his breath was stolen from him was the mental image of her face.
He had nothing else to lose.
-
The exact second the blade went down – finishing Sasuke's tormented life – Hinata lifted her gaze to find a large, gorgeous hawk. The bird gave a nearly agonized scream while rising to its wings. And at that moment tears rolled down her cheeks.
For some reason, it felt like that bird had taken a tiny piece of her along.
Ten years later, Naruto and Hinata agreed to name their first child, a newborn baby-boy, Sasuke. That day the hawk that'd been seemingly haunting Hinata disappeared as though to thin air.
She blamed the tears she shed on raging hormones, although it felt too much like someone had said goodbye to her.
The next day some fresh flowers could be found from Sasuke's grave.
Owari.
(In case you're wondering… According to my knowledge, the title of this fic means 'flower' and also 'end' in Japanese. It felt… fitting, somehow, since this sad tale started with a flower.) (grins sheepishly)
1) A line from the manga (which inspired this fic, btw).
A/N: (sniffs, then chuckles) You guys aren't even expecting a happy ending from me anymore, ne? (sniffs again) Poor teme!
PLEASE, do leave a review to let me know what you thought about this fic! Good, okay, horrible, deletable…? (gulps nervously) Pretty pwease…?
Gah, once again I'm in this HUGE hurry, but before I go… As said, this one shot collection goes by a theme, and I'm still more than gladly taking requests. Any pairing will go! I've finally got an idea for such, so a requested KakaIru fic SHOULD appear very, very soon. (rubs hands together with excitement)
Awkay, I think that's all for now, folks! Thank you so much for reading!
Take care, and have a fantastic summer!