CHAPTER - 12
"Christian, what has happened? You look pale in your dark gray suit, and you are almost the same color as your white shirt."
"I have done some really stupid things in my life, but last night takes the cake. I hurt Ana, and why she hasn't left is beyond me. Yesterday we moved Ray from Portland to Northwest Hospital. When I picked her up from work, something was bothering her, and she wouldn't tell me. I asked and asked, but nothing was forthcoming. When we saw Ray before coming home, she was off, and even her father noticed, but nothing was said. While we were eating dinner, I asked her again, and she told me that she was pregnant." He moaned
"My world just imploded. Of all things she could have said in that moment, being pregnant was not one of them. I accused her of doing this on purpose; I told her how stupid she was. You know me, I ranted and raved. Then I made my first stupid mistake since being married, I walked out on her." His face was covered with perplexities.
"The penthouse had always been mine. Now I had Ana standing there in the kitchen telling me she was with child. How could that be? I know she had a shot, and I didn't figure out until this morning that the shot had failed to work weeks ago. I could not handle the news, and just walked out. I left her alone, after dumping my shitty rage on her."
John looked cautiously at Christian and said, "I want to say congratulations, but I know you're not ready to hear that, Christian. Did you see Ana this morning, and is she okay?"
"Yes, but I don't see how. She is furious with me. She stomped around naked while she was getting dressed for work, just to show me what I had, but was too stupid to recognize. I have never seen her as mad as she was this morning. I have to tell you what I did."
He took his hands to his face, trying to shake off his stupidity. John was writing in his leather notebook, BABY.
"I walked over to your office after I left her. You were at a stupid parent-teacher thing. Not that it was stupid, but last night I felt it was stupid. I couldn't call and drop this bombshell on you over the phone. I kept walking and ended up over at Elena's salon just as she was closing for the evening. We went to a nearby bar and talked. On our second bottle of wine she touched me. I recoiled from her, and then she made a full-on frontal attack. I don't think anyone has ever made such a premeditated pass at me before. I told her to stop, that I was not interested in her, and I only wanted Ana. If she had been smart, she might have said, "Why am I here and your wife's at home?" When she left, everything had ended between us. I'm never seeing her again unless it's by accident. I knew in that moment I wanted to be with Ana and discuss our future, but I was being the stubbornness-ass on the planet." He paused to think.
"So what the fuck do I do, but start drinking bourbon? I did make it home, walking down the streets of Seattle out of my mind; I should have been arrested for public drunkenness. I must admit it was stupid to be out alone, with no regard for my personal safety. I think Ana had been asleep on the couch and, as I came in, she got me to bed. She took off my jacket, and my BlackBerry fell on the floor with this message from Elena."
He handed John his phone with the message from Elena.
It was good to see you. I understand now.
Don't fret. You'll make a wonderful father.
"So you told Elena that Ana was pregnant?"
"No, John, even in my fucked-up-ness, I wouldn't tell her an intimate thing as that. I asked her if she thought that I would make a good father. Ana saw that email and slept somewhere else in the house last night. She never told me where. As I watched her dress this morning, she explained that she was moving into the submissives' bedroom. She yelled and screamed, calling me a goddamn adolescent and telling me I needed to grow up. She also called me spineless. How do I get her back?"
"First, how do you feel about the baby?"
"I'm not ready to be a father, but now I don't have a choice. My fear is about to detonate. I don't want to drive Ana away, especially when it was not her fault and, if it were her fault… Hell, it's just as much my fault if we are assessing blame. She was on birth control and did miss a few appointments for her next shot, but she is now four to five weeks into her pregnancy. She got pregnant on our honeymoon. Wasn't that what a honeymoon was for before birth control?"
"You have still not answered my question, how do you FEEL about the baby," John said a little more forcefully.
"You're a hard man, Dr. John Flynn, I wish we would have waited, but I'm okay with it. I know it's abstract to me but, as her body changes and the baby grows; I assume I will be thrilled about it. I just thought we would have more time together, just the two of us."
"I thought you might try to force her into an abortion."
"Fuck, John, I would never do that to Ana or myself. We're going to be parents, but all we do now is yell and scream at each other."
"Second question, what about Elena?"
"Oh fuck, I haven't had time to explain that. When she touched and made a pass at me, it was the first time I realized that what Elena did to me all those years ago was wrong. She really is a pedophile. Maybe it's because I'm going to be a father soon, but something snapped. Ana was right, I never saw Elena for the predator that she actually is. I think that is why I went to the hard liquor after she left the bar. I realized that I was a victim. No wonder I'm so fucked up."
"Christian, for the first time, you're feeling those emotions about your victimization. Elena used you and abused you in the most horrific way. How could you have wanted to feel that pain, you have been hiding from it for thirteen years? Now all that pain is mixed in with Ana and the baby. Your complex compartmentalizing of your life has broken down. You can't hide from your emotions anymore."
Christian leaned over, placed his elbow on his knee, put his head in his hand, rubbing his thumb and index finger across his eyes. "I would like to cry but, now that you have explained what has happened to me, I feel more complete. Ana will forgive my stupid, arrogant mistake. I'll become a father and love the process. I'll still be over-controlling and over-protective, but somehow I'll be more caring and compassionate. Why, after all these years of psychiatry, did I have this breakthrough?"
"Christian, since Ana came into your life, you have wanted to change. You gave up your learned sexual habits. You gave up your selfish ways, and now you have given up the past and you are feeling the pain from that. You want to be free to love Ana, and now the baby. You want love more than you want the pain. I'm so proud of you and your accomplishments in this office. Elena is truly in the past. You put her there. Ana will recognize that once you tell her the truth. What are you going to do about Ana?"
Christian said, "I think I'll give her space to process what has happened. If I push her, she will resist anything I have to say. Funny, for the first time, I feel she loves me. She has told me often enough, but I can feel her here in my heart," He said as he placed his hand over his heart.
John added, "I don't know about you, but this session has worn me out. Just show her kindness and yourself. This will not be the first fight you will have, and it won't be the last either. Be at peace and know that you're the new and improved Christian Grey. Please process all this before you dump it on Ana."
"I will, John, thanks. Before I go, I need to find out about the elephant in the room. Once you talked me down from my own problems, I want to know about Rhian. I cried for your family when I got home on Tuesday. I know we are crossing or blurring the lines here, but I need to know."
"We're waiting for genetic testing to finish so we can make an informed decision. Rhian's mother died of breast cancer at forty-five. We always knew that this might be a possibility for her. I'll let you know what we are doing when we know. I want to apologize for unloading all that shit on you. It was very unprofessional of me, but your friendship does help me cope."
Christian left lighter than when he came in; he was still worried about Ana, he had to give her space, and he needed time to think about them having a baby.
He went back to work that night and did talk to Ana. Their voices were soft and caring, but neither wanted to give an inch. By the time he got home, Ana was asleep in the submissives' bedroom, and he slept in the chair. He woke up at five but couldn't face her yet because he was processing his pain, he took a shower, ate breakfast, and went to work.
Ana received the email he sent about going to Portland to finish business at WSU.
Christian had just concluded his business when he received the message from Sawyer that Ana had taken sick, and that he was taking her back to the Escala. Christian flew Charlie Tango fast; because he wanted to be home to check on Ana, whether she wanted him there or not. When he landed in Seattle, there was a phone call from Mr. Whelan the manager from his bank, stating that Ana wanted to withdraw five-million dollars. As he climbed out of Charlie Tango, he talked with Ana. He was too stunned to say much of anything. Christian asked the stupidest question "Was it always about the money?" He was almost too hurt to hear her response, no.
At just about the same moment that he hung up with his love, who was leaving him forever, Taylor told him that Jack Hyde had made bail and was out of jail. It all became clear to Christian that Ana was not leaving him, but giving Jack the money for some unknown reason. He knew Ana was still at the bank, and Taylor drove towards the bank at break-neck speed. Taylor was already tracking Ana's cell phone when Sawyer called and told them Ana had given him the slip and gone out the back door of the bank. Now everyone was tracking Ana's phone. Christian, Taylor, and Sawyer pulled up near the black Dodge Van; at the same time they heard a gunshot.
Christian found Ana on the ground. Taylor yelled at him not to move her. Taylor secured Ana's/Leila's gun, told Elizabeth Jack's partner to sit on the ground, and called 9-1-1. Jack Hyde was rolling on the ground in pain from his gunshot wound in his leg. Taylor looked at him in disgust motioning for him to stay still. Sawyer came while he was on the phone, told him that Mia was unconscious, but breathing. Taylor gave the address, reported there were three people injured, and asked them to send help. He also informed them Detective Clark who was working the case.
Christian couldn't think. He was kissing Ana's left hand. Taylor was going to say something, then looked at Sawyer and told him to return to Mia, she shouldn't be alone. Taylor had a hard gaze on Hyde and remained professional since he seemed to be the only with a clear mind, but could have easily kicked Hyde to death.
Taylor decisively called Christian's mother, "Dr. Trevelyan here."
"Grace, this is Taylor, Christian's bodyguard. I want to tell you that Mia and Ana are on their way to Northwest Hospital."
Grace said agitated, "What are you talking about?"
"I'm sorry to have to tell you, but I think Mia was kidnapped, and Ana was blackmailed to save Mia and brought five-million dollars to Jack Hyde."
"Taylor, there is something wrong with our connection. What are you talking about?"
"I can hear the ambulances coming. We'll be at Northwest soon. I'll explain when I get there. Sorry, Grace, I'm more shook up than I thought. Christian will be riding with Ana, and I'll ride with Mia."
Detective Clark pulled up as they were transporting Ana. Christian didn't talk, but climbed into the ambulance with the emptiest eyes either had seen while Elizabeth was taken into custody.
Taylor said to Clark, "I'm riding with Mia; could you have one of your policemen please bring the Audi to the emergency room. Sawyer drive himself back to the bank and return the ransom money." He handed Clark the keys.
Clark nodded his head as Taylor got into the back of the ambulance with Mia. As they pulled away from the crime scene, Taylor could see the police that looked like ants crawling to an abandoned picnic.
Grace was standing talking with Christian when she turned to Taylor. "What the fuck happened?" (Fuck was a word she never used, and Christian looked surprised and took her in his arms.)
"Taylor, tell me before I beat Christian off who is trying to restrain me. I know Mia went to the gym this morning, then what?"
"All I know, Dr. Trevelyan…"
"We're way past doctor; call me Grace, and tell me the truth." She insisted.
Taylor walked into the hospital, with Grace and Christian following. "What I know I'll tell you. Some is fact, and some is speculation. Mia was kidnapped this morning by someone, probably not Hyde, but his girlfriend, Elizabeth who works at SIP in the HR department. I'm sure we'll find out that Hyde contacted Ana to bring the ransom money. Ana took the money and was beaten up by Hyde. She did manage to fire at Hyde, shooting him above the right knee."
"Christian, do you have anything to tell your mother?"
"No, Taylor, good job; I'm sure that any minute the cops will be here. I need to check on Ana."
Grace said, "I'll do that since I can get back in the emergency room. Sorry for being so hard on you, Taylor. Christian, your father will be here shortly. What a hell of a mess!"
Grace walked off, Christian followed and when they were alone, Christian said, "Mom, I just want to tell you Ana found out two days ago she is pregnant. Will I lose both of them? We had a big fight, and I'm just holding on by a thread. I need her more than I need a baby. Dr. Green is her doctor."
"Look, my dear boy, just have faith. She will make a full recovery. Faith, please have faith. You sure know how to deliver good news." Grace kissed her son's cheek and continued back to the ER.
Christian went to the bathroom and washed his face, along with his tears.
Taylor made two calls, one to Dr. Flynn to give him an update, and the second to Gail.
"My dear, I want to tell you this before the press gets a hold of it. Mia, Christian's sister, was kidnapped, and Ana delivered the ransom money, only to have the shit kicked out of her. Christian is a basket case. I don't know when I'll see you, but I needed to tell you that I love you."
"Jason, my love, I know you probably saved the girls. I assume everyone is safe; does Ryan know?"
"I don't know, but I think Sawyer probably informed him. Gail, I miss you and love you. Oh, if I haven't told you often enough, I love you."
"I know you do, and I can't wait to hold you in my arms and kiss your fears away. Take care of the Greys; they need their big strong Taylor, too."
Taylor looked at Christian, "What can I do for you, Sir?"
"Does Mrs. Jones know?"
"Yes, I just talked with her."
Carrick was by their side when Grace came out. "Mia was given Rohyprol, the date-rape drug. She was not raped, thank God. They will counteract the drug and wait for her to wake up. Ana is being taken to have a CT scan of her brain. Hyde really did a number on her and, once I know more, I'll let you know. Has anyone called Elliot? I know the press will be all over this. Elliot should know before the press finds him. Maybe it would be nice to call Kate or let Elliot do that. Sorry, not making good sense."
Carrick gave her a hug and then let her walk back to the ER.
"Christian, I misjudged your wife. I'll never do that again. I'm going to sit with your sister. Your mom will be out shortly to tell you Ana's condition. She loves you very much." He had tears in his eyes when he left.
"Hey bro, what's up?"
"Elliot, bad news on this end, both Mia and Ana are at Northwest Hospital, because of a kidnapping plot gone wrong. Please call Kate and come to the hospital. The family needs your wise-cracking smart-mouth to make us feel better."
"I'm in the car already; I was going out to the construction site, but coming your way soon."
"Taylor will fill you in on all the details. Got to go, Elliot."
About thirty minutes later, Grace came and took Christian back to Ana. She saw Elliot and gave him a big hug.
Grace talked with Christian back in the ER, "They'll be moving Ana up to a room soon. She has a skull fracture; her ribs where he kicked her are badly bruised. The side she fell on has scrapes and bruising. She will wake up on her own time. Just talk to her and be with her. One more thing, the baby is fine, safe within her."
"Mom, how long will it take for her to wake up?"
"Could be hours or days; only Ana knows that, but there is no major brain trauma."
Christian was desolate as he took up vigil next to Ana's bed.
Kate came in and said, "Christian, I'm so sorry this happened to Ana, but by now you know that she is just as stubborn and focused as you are. I know we have been at odds with each other for months. For Ana's sake, we need to find a way to become friends. I don't mean bosom buddies; I just mean that we are more comfortable around each other so she can see it. I don't want to compete with you for her affections. I've had girlfriends before, but Ana is my best friend ever. She worships you and would never do anything too intentionally to hurt you. You two are lucky to have found each other, and thank God I was sick the day that she interviewed you. I'm going to give you a kiss on the check and go back to Elliot, if that is alright."
She kissed Christian softly on the cheek and, when he looked up at her, the tears were rolling down his cheeks.
Around two in the morning, John Flynn showed up. Christian woke up as he heard a chair being dragged on the floor.
"Hi, Christian; before you ask what am I doing here, I know the long dark hours are the worst in the hospital. When Colin, our oldest was born, Rhian had blood loss. The first twenty-four hours after his birth were the worst. I sat alone like you. I just wanted you to know that I have read her chart, and she will make a full recovery and I'm sure your mom has already told you. Talk to me, because you need to get those feelings out."
"What feelings, John? I feel numb. I don't even have rage against Hyde. I've been here for hours, just telling her I love her."
"She knows that for God's sake. She saved your sister and put her life in danger just to prove to you how much she loves you."
"I know, but what if she doesn't wake up?"
"Christian, no what ifs you're not in therapy at the moment and I won't tolerate it in there or anywhere. No fucking what ifs. I'm sure this is twice as painful as it should be after your revelation yesterday afternoon. Your past and present are all mixed up. Everything is more intense. I'm not going to tell you to go home and get some sleep, you won't move from her side. Just remember, none of this is your fault."
"Strange, John, I hadn't thought of that, I was completely left out of the loop on this one. I didn't know Mia had been kidnapped. I thought Ana went home from work because she had morning sickness. When the bank called and told me she wanted five-million dollars, I thought she was finally leaving me. Then, I saw her on the cold concrete at that abandoned apartment complex, and thought for a spit second she was dead just like my dream. I fell stunned to the ground, feeling exactly like I'm feeling now. It's the first time I realized that I would go on after she died, not that I would want to, but I would. What does that mean?"
"It means that you will accept whatever happens, but I'm here to reassure you that Ana will be back to her shy, sexy self very soon. I wouldn't be surprised if, when she wakes up, all she wants is you. Now that I see for myself that you have survived most of the night, I'll head home and call you tomorrow."
Christian gave John a hug, something he had never done before. Christian took comfort in his friend's arms. He wanted to ask about John's own pain, but knew he would tell him about Rhian when the time was right.
Friday the media was out in front of Grey House, SIP, the Escala and the Greys' house. Elliot stayed with Kate so the press wouldn't track him down. Christian called Ros who read a statement to the press from Grey House and answered some questions, but mostly she referred the questions to the Seattle Police Department. Flowers started to arrive. Finally Taylor parked himself out in front of Ana's door so no one could go in without his permission. It was nearly noon when, Gail showed up.
Taylor followed her into the room.
"Mr. Grey, hospitals can have such terrible food sometimes; I brought you and Jason a good lunch. Look how beautiful she looks, just peacefully sleeping. She'll wake up!"
"I know that she will, Gail, and I'll eat, Ana gives me enough shit about not eating." He motioned for Taylor to take a plate. Of course, the doctor came in to check on Ana as they were eating. Christian said to the doctor, "When will she wake up?"
"I know when she wants to is not an answer, but I do know she will wake up. Her body is healing while she sleeps, when it's ready it will allow her to wake up. That looks like great food; I know that didn't come from the kitchen downstairs."
Christian handed him a plate and told him to help himself. The doctor gladly did.
When the dishes were packed, Taylor said, "I won't be long, Mr. Grey, I just want to walk Mrs. Jones to the car so the paparazzi don't bother her."
Christian returned to Ana talking about all the things he had planned for the rest of their lives.
After putting the bag in the back of her little Audi, Jason Taylor said, "I've wanted to ask you a question for so long, and now the Greys will be alright, and their lives will not require as much support and time as they have up to now. I know this not romantic, Gail, but I want you to marry me."
They both looked at each other with surprise.
"Jason, you know my first husband was a batterer, and that's why I went to live at Mr. Grey's penthouse originally, for my safety. You were just there day after day with your steadfast personality, and I'd never known a man like you. If I were to be rushed right now with a hundred photographers, I would feel safe in your arms. When we started sleeping together, I found myself. I loved you freely because I could that's a new revelation. I wasn't being pressured into sex. What I'm saying, in a roundabout way, is I love you, and I'll marry you anytime you want."
Taylor pulled the ring out of his pocket. He slipped the ring on her finger. It was a small, brilliant round diamond surrounded by rubies. They kissed for minutes until she said, "I need to go home, and you need to go back to work. How did you know about the rubies?"
"We were out shopping; you were looking in the widow of a jewelry store and I asked what your favorite gem was. You told me ruby. I thought it was only fitting since rubies are the color of blood, and blood is what keeps my heart beating."
She kissed him again. "Jason that was the most romantic proposal a woman could ever receive." He kissed her one more time before opening the door.
She got in, and opened the window. "How long have you been holding onto that ring?"
He shyly backed up and held up two fingers, and mouthed the word months. She pulled out and yelled back, "WOW!"
Taylor was grinning from ear to ear when Christian came out to stretch his legs. "Tell me something good, Taylor, every minute now that she doesn't wake up is another minute of our lives wasted."
"I asked Gail to marry me, and she said yes."
"I didn't know you wanted to get married again after the way your ex-wife has treated you. Since you shared your good news, I have news too. Ana has talked with Gia, the architect, about your apartment over the garage in the new house. She wanted you to have a home where your daughter could come and stay. One more thing – the honeymoon is on the Greys."
"Thank you, Christian; your generosity knows no limits. I must say that you have changed so much since Ana came back to you. She will come back to you again as soon as she can. Would you a cold drink or something?"
"Sure, a Coke would be great about now, and don't forget to get one for yourself."
The hours wore on as Christian impatiently waited for her to wake up. As all miracles happen, Ana just opened her eyes and said, "Hi." She came back to him. He slept with her and, in the morning, he cleaned himself up and sent an email to Flynn.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: She is awake
Date: September 17 2011 07:30
To: Dr. John Flynn
The most beautiful sight to me was when those powder-blue eyes opened last night. We talked a little, she ate, and then I got into bed with her. I haven't felt that kind of peace in days. What can I say, but we are still together and will work on our relationship? She needs to heal, but she is back in life with me.
Thank you again for your middle-of-the-night call. You're a true friend who has helped me understand myself better and how I relate to the world. Also, I hugged my mother again, something I think she has been waiting twenty-four years. She was really pissed that I saw Elena, but then I told her that I finally understood that it was over. Now all I have to do is convince Ana.
I need to go see if sleeping beauty is awake.
Thanks John.
Christian Grey
CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
From: Dr. John Flynn
Subject: Joy
Date: September 17 2011 08:13
To: Christian Grey
Joy in the morning to you. The heroine has awakened from her long sleep. I know your negative thoughts told you this would not happen, but she woke up to see her love waiting for her. She may have nightmares and need to lean on you as she heals. You're stronger so please be gentle and don't jump her bones like you would normally do.
In the last few weeks you have learned much about yourself. Now it is time to put what you have learned into action. You know you can communicate without rage and anger, but you can also show caring and compassion. Don't worry about Ana with all the Hyde mess she is strong enough to resolve it with your enduring love. Relax Christian and take care of that sweet woman. There will always be plenty of time to conquer the business world.
Keep me informed on how you are both doing and let me know when you resolve the Elena issue.
John
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Taking her home
Date: September 17 2011 10:30
To: Dr. John Flynn
I am taking Anastasia Rose Steel Grey home with her powder-blue eyes, long chestnut hair and the pale skin that looks paler today. Of course we are taking our baby home, too.
Our lives start now!
Christian Grey
CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
From: Dr. John Flynn
Subject: MoreJoy
Date: September 17 2011 11:30
To: Christian Grey
Good Luck. I'm here the rest of the weekend. Ana will be so happy that you included the baby.
John
From: Christian Grey
Subject: News
Date: September 18 2011 02:30
To: Dr. John Flynn
Welch, Head of Security for Grey Enterprises Holdings, has learned news about Hyde and me from Detroit. If you have time for me today just drop by. Ana and I will be resting and I will not be working. How is Rhian? You can tell me when you come over.
I am happy, sad, and depressed.
Need to go back to sleep.
Christian Grey
CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
It was nearly two, as Ana slept when John entered the foyer. Taylor was on duty and greeted him.
"I have news, Dr. Flynn. First, let me express our good wishes to you on your wife's speedy recovery. If it was a secret, then I'm sorry. And second, Gail has agreed to marry me."
"Congratulations, Jason, wishing you and Gail the brightest and happiest future. Cancer spreads like wildfire, whether in the body or out. My wife needs everyone's good wishes. Thank you. How are they doing since coming home from the hospital?"
"Ana is trying to find her health; Christian is Christian - always trying to find his way."
"Good, no major dramas; I'll see you before I leave. Do you know when the wedding will be?"
"I would say within the next two months - before they move into the new house because we will be needed then. Of course, Gail is overjoyed about the baby. "
John smiled and looked at Jason's clean-shaven face and said, "Aren't we all?"
He found Christian sitting in his study. When Christian looked up and saw John, he left his computer and greeted him, walking out barefooted.
"Hi, John, would you like coffee, tea, or maybe a Sunday afternoon beer?"
"I like your idea of a Sunday afternoon beer."
John followed him in the kitchen as Christian grabbed two bottles from the fridge and pointed to a glass in the cupboard. John shook his long black hair. They walked back to the great room, and John said. "I have been here several times and it has never felt this relaxed. I always thought it was due to the cold, minimalist atmosphere, but it was actually your personality that made it so austere. Christian, you have changed, remarkably changed. I'll not chalk it up to Ana; you are the one who has made my therapy work. Enough praise. What has happened? There was no urgency to your email."
He took a sip of beer.
"No, but I learned why Hyde was after me and my family."
"Well, don't leave me in suspense, Christian."
"This was in Detroit, Michigan. When my mother died, they took me to the hospital. Grace was the doctor on call and she examined me. Of course, you know she fell in love, but the state placed me in foster care for two months. When in foster care, there was an older boy. It was Jack Hyde. I don't remember him, and I only have these two photographs that Welch found in Detroit."
He got up, went into his study, and brought two photographs for John to scrutinize.
"Christian…you don't look four here. You were really abused and neglected by your birth mother. Did your parents help put some of the pieces together?"
"Yes, Ana, encouraged me to call them last night, and then the entire family showed up. I don't remember, as an adult, ever asking any of them for help, not even when I started out in business. Grace and Carrick brought Mia, who invited her Ethan, plus Elliot and Kate since they are inseparable." Giving John a quick smile.
"What I don't understand John, is why? Was he jealous that I got adopted and he didn't? Why did he beat poor Ana? Revenge against me for firing his ass at SIP? Could he have held onto his grudge over twenty years? He is the first person I have ever fired who has been revengeful."
"Christian, what you need to do is let the questions go for in the end does it matter? Will knowing make your life any better? You certainly aren't going to exact revenge on him. You're not that type of man."
"I want him in jail so I do not have to think about him. What he did to Ana and Mia are serious crimes, and he should spend serious time in prison."
"Do you want another beer, John?"
"Yes, no one is at home waiting for me. The boys are off with Rhian's sister and she spent the weekend alone to consider the options for her breast cancer. I wanted to be with her, but she needs time by herself."
Christian came back with two more beers. "How could you do that? I've never given Ana any time by herself. No wonder you were always writing and shouting, don't push her. I admire you for your inner core of strength. I almost feel I should be watching over Ana right now."
"She is asleep, relaxing, or just healing. There must be more to this Christian Grey who is drinking beer."
"Last night I confessed to Ana about Elena. There were no harsh words or fits or screams. I explained what I did that night and how by the time I came home; Elena was out of my life forever. I came to terms with the fact that she is a pedophile, and she hurt me for years. I think Ana was skeptical at first but, the more I told her about Elena in the very beginning and now the end of her, she realized it was over. I understand that I have been victimized for years; I need to heal and move on."
"What about the baby," John inquired sweetly.
Ana showed up, her hair a mess and wearing sweat pants and a tee shirt. She said, "I would like to know about the baby too, Christian."
She walked over and sat in his lap. She just wanted his comfort. He started to finger combing her hair. Christian shifted to get comfortable and reached for his beer.
"Before you go any further, Christian, it's lovely to see you, Ana. I think it's so regrettable that you had to be with that S-O-B Hyde. You look better than you did in the hospital. Let's keep it that way. I don't think Christian could take another one of your escapades, other than sexual. He was pretty much a basket case."
"I'll try to be good for a while, as long as ex-subs, ex-bosses, or even Elena don't try to come after me. Now what were you going to say, Christian, about the baby?"
"I still don't think I'm good parenting material!" Christian said putting his head down on her shoulder.
Ana moved looking at him and interrupted loudly, "What about Grace and Carrick? They're wonderful parents. Why don't you see them as role models instead of your birth mother?"
"Geez, Ana, do you want to take over my practice," John smirked at her.
"I think my birth mother has loomed large in my life. She has felt like unfinished business until recently. Grace and Carrick gave me stability and love, but then Elena gave me control; all three of those relationships were tainted by my birth mother's abuse and neglect. I know I'll love our child, but those early years that I should have been loved, I wasn't, is there any way I can be a good parent, John?"
"Christian, I'll remind you again, it's called Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. Your goal is to become a better person. What is your solution – what do you think you have to do to become the father you want to be?"
Ana put her head on his chest because she was tired and wanted to listen to their conversation, but as soon as there was a lull in the conversation, she was asleep. Christian leaned forward, putting down his beer, and picked her up. Her eyes popped open for a moment, and he carried her to bed. He kissed her check, and she drifted into a deep slumber.
When he returned he said, "She has been out of the hospital only a little over twenty-four hours and is fighting sleep. Last night it was probably too much for her to hear about Elena, but I've exorcise her from my soul. I do want the baby, John. I'll read books, change diapers and feed the baby, but what about when this child grows older, and he wants to know about my girlfriends and sex? Boy – that's sexist of me, thinking it's a boy already."
"Christian by the time you have to discuss sex, you'll know your child. At age five, when he or she asks where babies come from, you'll do like most parents you tell him or her babies come from mommy's tummy. Until some wise-ass kid tells him…"
"Call the baby "Blip"; that is what Ana has named him or her, from the blip on the ultrasound."
"Until some wise-ass kid tells Blip what a vagina is. You will figure out what to do – it's by instinct. You figured out how to love Ana, and that didn't take long. Ana will not let you fail to become a good parent. You have your parents and me, to consult and learn from. We all want to see you succeed. You're going to ask for help, and others will give it to you. Just like I asked for your help that day I talked about Rhian. Wait, weren't you the one who had a gut reaction to Jack Hyde? You have great instincts. But that is months and years away. Is Ana happy about the baby?"
"Yes and no. No, because we have had so little time alone and, yes, because she is having a baby. I know she has her fears, but we have not discussed them yet. Jack Hyde really did a number on her, and I don't think it will be as easy to get past this incident. Her body will heal much faster than her mind."
"Christian, thank you for letting me come over and talk with you. You have a standard four-thirty appointment. What a pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon, with a good friend and a few beers. Sometimes I like America!"
John and Christian stood up together. Christian was still getting used to the hugging thing, but he wasn't as stiff and awkward as he was the first time they hugged. Taylor did his magical appearing act and showed John out.
Christian went into the bedroom and found Ana still sleeping. She was beautiful, and they were going to have a beautiful baby. She opened her eyes and said, "Thank you for taking care of me. I just want to heal. I think today I have slept more than the whole time we have been together. What is for dinner? I could cook if you wanted."
"Ana, Gail is willing to make pizza; she is making it for Taylor and herself. Would you be up to having pizza?"
"I can't remember the last time I ate pizza that would be wonderful. I can't have a beer, but Diet Coke would be okay."
Christian pulled out his BlackBerry, and told Taylor that pizza would be great."
Sunday night they watched TV, Christian's least favorite thing to do but, when Ana fell asleep in his lap by nine he carried her into bed. By midnight, he was in bed with her.