DISCLAIMER: I only own the plot. I can only take credit for the ability to string a few words together adequately. Sort of.
Dedicated to Darcy. Who just really, really, really rules.
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Chapter One
Why Some People Should Never Get Drunk
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Harry Potter sat in the middle of his room at Number 4, making sure he had everything he needed. He hadn't been living there since the fall of Voldemort at the end of his sixth year, that summer and the summer after that having been spent at Grimmauld Place, which he now owned. So what was dear Harry up to now? Why, he was continuing his magical education (surprisingly not just because Hermione wouldn't shut her ruddy mouth about Wizarding university all throughout their seventh year) at the prestigious Heimler Institute in Germany, one of the only three Wizarding universities in the world, world renowned as the best in all of its course offerings. Harry had originally signed up his major under "Auror Training", but secretly changed it a few weeks previous to "Teaching- Defense Field". He realized that he had a knack for understanding how to get other people to understand, and he certainly was the best at Defense Against the Dark Arts. Yes, there was still a need, as not all of the Death Eaters had been eradicated with the fall of their master.
So he checked his trunk one last time, made sure that everything he wanted was out of the tiny bedroom, and left the house, glad that none of the Dursleys were home to run into. He then Apparated to the Burrow, where Ron, Hermione, and he would be staying until the beginning of term. He entered the ramshackle house and placed a Hovering charm on his trunk, floating it up the stairs to Ron's room. He blinked his eyes a few times against the amount of orange currently assaulting his vision, steadying himself on the bedpost. He placed his trunk at the end of his bed with the other trunk full of more pertinent things, such as clothing and school supplies. The trio was going shopping again today, much to Ron's displeasure but Harry's secret delight. He wanted to get some new clothes before term started, as he didn't find very much of what he presently owned very appealing. Ron came bounding in a few seconds after he had, grinning from ear to ear.
"Hey mate! Hermione wants to know if we're ready to go." Harry nodded and stood from where he was sitting on the edge of his bed. He grabbed his jacket and proceeded to follow Ron down the rambling staircase and into the kitchen, where Hermione was perched daintily on a chair. She swung her purse onto her shoulder and the three Apparated to Diagon Alley. Hermione wanted to do their school things first, so they went and got the rest of their required potions ingredients and the last few books and went to Gringotts to exchange money. Heading into downtown London, Hermione decided they would go to Harrods, much to Ron's chagrin, muttering the entire time about how malls should never be larger than Hogwarts. He disappeared about halfway through the second store, saying he needed to find food. Harry turned to Hermione and grinned.
"All right. What do I need?"
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Apparently, Harry needed much more than he thought he did. When they finished shopping, he had 5 pairs of jeans, 3 pairs of black pants, 1 pair of leather pants (which he had to admit, he wasn't upset about spending £540 on. They really did look nice), an endless amount of collared button down shirts in various colors and patterns, a bunch of t-shirts, new boxers (he bought these alone), two jackets, a few sweatshirts, two pairs of dress shoes, and some trainers. Hermione positively glowed with pride as he tried on a variety of outfits she'd picked out, oohing and aahing. Harry smiled a shy smile as they went to find Ron, who was moping in a bookstore.
"'Bout bloody time you two showed up!" He exclaimed sarcastically, hauling himself up from the chair he was occupying. Eyeing the single bag in Hermione's hand and the two in Harry's, he chuckled. "All that time and only that much?" Harry smirked and opened one of his bags, showing Ron that the contents were dozens of shrunken bags and packages. Ron looked shocked. "Wow."
"If you're lucky, mate, I'll model all my new outfits for you when we get home." Harry said, laughing.
"He looks dashing in all of it, I tell you." Hermione said, smiling.
"Yeah, all thanks to you, 'Mione." Harry replied, and she blushed.
"Come on, let's go home. I'm starved." Ron grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. Harry and Hermione shared a look before following him out of the gargantuan shopping center.
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They returned to the Burrow and a huge meal that Mrs. Weasley had prepared for them. After they had eaten, Mr. Weasley leaned back in his chair.
"So, all ready to go tomorrow, kids?" They nodded, and Ginny smiled sadly.
"Hogwarts won't be the same without you guys." Hermione put her arm around Ginny's shoulders and squeezed.
"That reminds me, Gin. I have a present for you." Harry said, giving her a wink that only she caught. Everyone headed to their respective rooms shortly after, Ginny and Hermione following Harry and Ron to Ron's room. Harry opened one of his trunks and pulled out the Marauder's map. "Since we won't be needing this anymore, I hereby pass it onto you, Ginevra Weasley, to use to your heart's content." Ginny grinned and launched herself at him, giving him a gigantic hug.
"Oh Harry! Thank you so much. I promise I'll keep it safe. Thank you!" She then started to cry and ran out of the room. They all watched her retreating form as it sprinted down the stairs.
"Well, I'll see you boys tomorrow." Hermione said, and smiled and waved as she left Harry and Ron to get ready for bed.
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The next morning, August the 10th, Harry, Ron, Hermione did one last check for everything and ate a very nice breakfast of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. They Apparated to the train station with the entire Weasley family (sans Percy) and had quite a long goodbye before getting on. It reminded them of their journeys to Hogwarts, except that this trip required beds to sleep in, as they were going all the way to Germany. Hermione had a separate compartment but spent the majority of her time with Harry and Ron in theirs. They found out who else they knew on the train: Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini (who were directly across the aisle); Pansy; Millicent; Padma Patil; Neville; Seamus and Dean; and Ernie McMillan. Many stopped in to say hello and chat. Malfoy sneered at Harry in passing, and Harry made a very rude hand gesture in return. Other than that, the trip was uneventful. In fact, it was quite boring. Harry was almost entirely fed up with both of his friends by the time they arrived at the Bremen train station and were escorted in cars up the mountain to the sprawling campus. They were greeted by fellow students and directed to their dormitories. When Harry reached the door with the number 143 A on it, Ron glanced at the slip of parchment with his room assignment on it.
"We're not together!" He exclaimed.
"What? Give me that." Harry grabbed it from him and groaned. "You're not even on this floor! Oh Merlin, who's my roommate then?"
"Me." Said an aggravated voice from behind them. They whirled around and were face-to-face with Malfoy.
"Bugger." Harry muttered darkly. Ron glared at the blonde, then turned to Harry. "Maybe we can get it changed. This can't be final. I mean, there's got to be a way-"
"There isn't. I overheard Pansy and Granger talking to their residence advisor about it. It's permanent." Ron cursed under his breath and Harry looked crestfallen.
"I suppose I had better meet my doom as well. See you at dinner." Ron said, giving Harry one last sympathetic look before walking away. Harry went to the door and unlocked it with the key he had been given.
The dorm was quite spacious; there were the two twin beds with light blue sheets and dark blue down comforters with drawers built into the bottom of each bed. The two desks were stained dark and had comfortable-looking black chairs. There was a little sitting area by the window with two overstuffed black chairs and a coffee table that matched their desks, and by each bed there was a little bookcase. There was a door they opened to find a closet, and another that led to their own bathroom. The nice thing about Wizarding university was that by not being required, the schools were rather small.
Malfoy flopped onto the bed on the right side of the room and covered his eyes. Harry went to his trunks and started unpacking, placing his clothes in the drawers under his bed and on his rack in the closet. He lined his books up on the bookcase and put his extra quills, ink, and parchment into the desk. About halfway through Malfoy started doing the same, and they seemed to be practicing a policy of ignoring each other. This worked for Harry, as he had nothing to say to Malfoy anyway. Well, anything pleasant, cordial, friendly, nice, or something even remotely positive at all. Harry changed into a fresh green t-shirt and jeans before heading to dinner. Ron didn't look murderous, so Harry assumed he wasn't rooming with Blaise.
"I've got Seamus." Ron said simply as Harry sat down beside him. Hermione came in, glum and angry.
"I'm with Pa-"
"We know. Ron's got Seamus and I'm with Malfoy." Hermione's eyes got wide.
"Oh my, Harry. I'm so sorry." She said, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Well, if we just keep ignoring each other, everything will be fine." He didn't really believe this, and, judging by the looks on their faces, neither did Ron or Hermione. "I can have a little hope, can't I?" He asked desperately, and his two friends nodded vigorously.
"If it really gets rough, you can always hex him." Ron said thoughtfully.
"Ron! That's not the way to deal with your problems. Harry should make an effort to at least try to get along with Malfoy before resorting to magic." Hermione said, glaring reproachfully at the redhead. Ron's face turned bright red in frustration and he returned her look.
"Are you even thinking! This is Malfoy, Hermione, not-"
But Harry had tuned out their bickering, eating his meal halfheartedly and getting up from the table without a word to either of them. Classes started first thing in the morning and he wanted a cigarette before bed. He headed out of the dining hall, back to his room for a jacket and his pack before stepping out into the chilly night. He found a nice rock and lit up, exhaling up into the sky, staring avidly at the stars. Once he was finished he walked to the room and changed into his pyjamas. He was reading Puddlemore: Years of Glory when Malfoy came in and changed into his pyjamas. Well, his silk pyjama bottoms.
"I shower at seven." He said before climbing into bed. "Shut off your bloody light. I'm tired." Harry, who was just about to do exactly that when his roommate walked in, waited ten more minutes just to piss him off. "Wanker." The blonde muttered when Harry finally switched off his light and removed his glasses.
"Arsehole." He returned, rolling over and falling asleep quickly.
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Harry was showered and dressed before Malfoy even woke up, leaving for breakfast as his enemy was stumbling out of bed. Obviously Malfoy was not a morning person, and Harry was glad to get away before they could exchange any words. Hermione came in looking frazzled, and Ron didn't have class until ten, so he wasn't up. Harry swallowed a sip of orange juice and turned to Hermione, who was destroying a piece of sausage with her fork and knife.
"Rough night?" He asked, and she threw her utensils down.
"I can't stand her! She's taken over the entire room with all of her things, didn't go to bed until one in the bloody morning, then told me she hoped that I died in my sleep so that she could get another roommate!" She fumed, rubbing her eyes. "How was your night?"
"Fine. Malfoy and I just don't speak and avoid each other like disease."
"Let's just hope it stays that way. I wish Parkinson would take the hint and stay away from me." Harry patted her shoulder sympathetically. "What's your first class?"
"Application of Defensive Theory." Harry replied. "What's yours?"
"Advanced Muggle Studies." She answered. Hermione was studying to be a Muggle liaison for the Ministry. The two friends ate their breakfast in silence after that, then parted ways. Harry headed across campus to the Menger Building, classroom 1301. He walked in and saw Ernie, who waved him over. He took the seat beside the former Hufflepuff.
"Hey Harry."
"Hey Ernie. How are you?"
"Good. Tough break about your having to live with Malfoy."
"Yeah… it hasn't been that bad so far. We're just ignoring each other." Ernie was about to reply, but their professor walked in at that moment.
"My name is Professor Graf. Welcome to Application of Defensive Theory. In this class you will learn first the theory behind all defensive magic, which includes; jinxes and counterjinxes; curses and countercurses; hexes and counterhexes; and so on. After a semester of theory, we shall venture into the practical side. Be prepared for extensive notetaking, hard exams, and active class participation." She said all of this in a heavy German accent and Harry had to listen quite attentively in order to understand her. She had long brown hair that fell down to mid-back and piercing blue eyes. She stood at about 5'10" and had on black slacks ad a light blue sweater set. "Let us begin. Please take out parchment, quill, and ink. Today we shall focus on what most see as a class of easy jinxes, often employed as practical jokes, but you will find that in battle they can be extremely useful." Her eyes darted over to Harry for a brief second before launching into notes.
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Two hours later, Harry's brain was full of information he'd never known about spells he'd been using for years, some he'd even used against Death Eaters and even Voldemort in the final battle. He tried to shake unsightly memories out of his mind as he walked to his next class, History of Dark Magic.
It ended up being much like one of Binns' classes, with the exception of having a professor who was actually living. The information was interesting, sure, but having to take so many notes made his hand sore. He was grateful when lunch came around, and he saw Ron chatting animatedly with a blond girl. He grabbed some food and sat down beside his friend.
"Hey mate!" Ron said as he sat down. "Harry this is Corrinne. She and I sit together in Advanced Transfiguation." Ron was, as he had said in 5th year, going to be an Auror. Harry was glad that Ron hadn't noticed that they were in only one class together, even though Harry supposedly had the same major. He didn't really know why he didn't just tell them he was planning on being a teacher. In truth, he liked have this little secret all to himself. Granted, this wasn't the only secret he kept from Ron and Hermione, but that was beside the point. He didn't see Hermione for the remainder of the meal, and he headed to his final class of the day, Charms. It felt good to use his wand instead of a quill for two hours, and he was also appreciative of the fact that he was done for the day once the class was over. He walked back to the room, hoping that Malfoy wasn't there, but found the blond sitting at his desk, reading a large book and scribbling notes on a piece of parchment. Harry sat down at his own desk and started working on his essay for History of Dark Magic on the background of Grindlewald. A half-hour into working, Harry felt something hit the back of his head and heard Malfoy snickering. He glanced down and saw a black cashmere sock.
How infantile, Harry thought, then picked the sock up and tossed it back at his roommate, hitting him in the middle of his back. Harry laughed as he noticed the back of Malfoy's neck turn red.
"What, Malfoy? Didn't think I'd hit you?" Harry taunted, hoping to get a rise out of the other boy. Malfoy turned around and glared.
"You're rather childish, Potty."
"You started it!"
"My point exactly."
They didn't say another word to each other until after dinner.
"I'm going to be having a few friends over." Malfoy said, enlarging the room to twice its normal size with a flick of his wand.
"How long will they be staying?" Harry asked, putting one of his books away.
"No idea." Malfoy replied, pulling his shirt off and replacing it with a black button-down.
"I'd like to get some sleep tonight. " Harry said through gritted teeth.
"It's uni, Potty. Live a little." Harry was shocked.
"Are you inviting me to party with you?" He asked incredulously. Malfoy looked horrorstruck.
"Of course not! I'm merely inviting you to drink enough to not care how loud we're being and, preferably, pass out really early so we won't have to deal with you." He replied, examining his nails.
"I see." A knock at their door announced that one or some of Malfoy's promised friends had arrived. Harry sat down on the edge of his bed and Malfoy got the door, letting Blaise in, who was carrying a large crate.
"Why hello, Potty!" Blaise said, smirking. He opened the crate to reveal a ton of shrunken bottles of liquor of all kinds. He began taking them out one by one and restoring them to their normal size, the lined them up on Harry's desk. While Pansy and Millicent were walking through the door, Harry grabbed a bottle of Firewhiskey and took a large gulp, ignoring the burn as much as he could and downed another. Soon their room was full of people, mostly strangers to Harry. He watched as everyone got very drunk and he himself got rather wasted. Eventually he was even joining in as they started a game.
"Bloody Truth or Dare. So fucking cliché." Malfoy muttered, leaning over to kiss Pansy on the cheek.
"Draco, I meant a real kiss." Pansy whined, puckering her lips. Harry felt slightly queasy.
"I'm sorry, Pansy darling, but you didn't specify. Ok, I'm not really at all sorry. You know I don't like girls." Malfoy began laughing uncontrollably and Harry tried to wrap his mind over his last words. If he didn't like girls, then- "Potter. Truth or Dare."
"Truth." Harry answered automatically, his thoughts completely interrupted. He immediately regretted choosing Truth, considering the look of utter glee on Malfoy's face.
"Now remember, Potty, we've charmed this game. It's magically binding, and we'll all know if you lie." Malfoy said, smirking nastily. "All right- the question: Do you like girls in any sort of romantic way?" Harry fidgeted for a moment, remembered how Hermione once told him that magical games of Truth or Dare often left liars with awful boils and the like for weeks. He had to tell the truth.
"No." He replied, refusing to look anyone in the eye. If he had, he would have seen the triumphant look pass over Malfoy's features. But, because fate was awful (a/n: and I'm naughty), he didn't. Everyone else who wasn't passed out gasped.
"You're gay?" Milicent asked, eyes wide. "So's-" Malfoy, who was sitting beside her, clapped a hand over her mouth. She glared at him but said nothing further once he removed his hand. Harry was too drunk to notice the suspicious nature of Malfoy's actions. The game continued for another half hour, turns merely becoming reason to act upon drunken sex drives. Pansy ordered Malfoy to kiss her "for real", and he told her he was going to puke on her dress. The party ended shortly after that, and Malfoy shrank the room back to normal while Harry cleaned up the empty bottles with a wave of his wand. They went to bed without a word, Harry still slightly angry with him for asking him that dumb question. He didn't want anyone to know about that part of him, mostly because he was ignoring it himself. He didn't see the need for a relationship anyway. They were just complicated messes he was glad to not be a part of. He fell into a dreamless sleep about a minute after getting into bed, hoping not to wake for quite some time.
That, however, did not happen. At four o'clock Harry was awakened by a tickling on his face. He opened his eyes to see Malfoy straddling his waist, holding a feather and touching it softly to his, Harry's, face and ears. He scrunched up his nose and batted the feather away. Still very drunk, he muttered,
"Malfoy? What the fuck are you doing with that bloody feather?"
"Why, Potty, I'm merely christening you with your fairy wings!" And with that, Malfoy dumped a whole bag of feathers right into Harry's face, then got off him and passed out on Harry's bed sideways, right on his legs. Harry sighed and moved to Malfoy's bed, glaring at the supine boy.
"You're so lucky I'm too drunk to hex your balls, Malfoy. You really are." Harry muttered before passing out himself.
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(a/n): Sooo… what do you think? I know I just wrote a one-shot about them being at university, but my darling Darcy asked me to write her a fic, and she's giving me a challenge for every chapter. It's rather fun. I know I used the (as Draco mentioned) cliché drunken Truth or Dare scene, but it's so fun to make drunk people do stupid things. And I know I could have done that without the game, but hey. I like playing it. So there.
:grins: Hope you liked. Review meh.