Breaking Final Fantasy
Disclaimer: all Final Fantasy names, characters and locations are property of Square Enix. I own nothing that you recognize.
A/N: this collection was inspired by a webpage called How To Break Final Fantasy VI, which mentions various glitches and bugs found throughout the game. It got me thinking about writing stories based on those glitches. So without further ado I give you Breaking Final Fantasy.
Chapter 1 - Psycho Cyan Bug
He should have known that it was going to be one of those days, the kind that makes you pray to Kefka that some higher power will end it all with their Light of Judgment. It began when he made the mistake of sitting next to Gau during breakfast. The feral child was feeling rather friskey that morning, due to the break in the weather which had been unseasonably hot this time of year, and went leaping up onto the table and spilled his breakfast all over the samurai's lap.
Sabin was no help at all. He leaned back in his seat and laughed as Gau attempted to lick maple syrup off Cyan's cheek. Relm snorted and covered her mouth with her hands, stifling a fit of giggles while Strago glared at her from across the table. At least Setzer was kind enough to help clean up the mess.
Mog frowned and shook his head. "Can't you control that boy, kupo? I mean seriously, I've got Umaro so well trained I can get him to balance a ball on his nose."
"Ball?" Gau shot up onto the table, looking wildly around the room. "Who say ball? Gau want play!"
Terra laughed and pulled a super ball out of her pocket. "Come on, Gau. Do you want to play fetch?"
Gau howled and started running in circles around the half-Esper girl.
"Come on then," said Terra, taking him outside so Cyan could enjoy the rest of his meal in peace.
But it didn't end there. When they went in search of the rest of their friends, Setzer succeeded in getting lost halfway to Maranda. This resulted in an argument between him and Celes. When Cyan came over to see what was wrong, he found the gambler and the former general fighting over who would take control of the airhship.
"Setzer is lost and he's too stupid to stop and ask for directions!" said Celes, tugging the steering wheel to the left.
"We are not lost," Setzer insisted, yanking the steering wheel to the right. "We are exploring new lands in search of our friends."
The airship veered to the right, and Cyan went sliding across the deck of the Falcon. He slammed into Shadow, who was in the middle of sparring with Sabin. This resulted in the unfortunate samurai almost getting scalped when Shadow threw one of his shuriken at him. But at least Sabin didn't laugh this time, and seized Shadow by the wrist to prevent him from throwing anything else at Cyan.
Later, when they landed in a field and began trekking across the vast, empty plains in search of their missing friends, Gau thought it would be fun to try playing leap frog with a bunch of Leap Frogs. He sprinted across the field on all fours, laughing and howling like some wild animal, when suddenly a pair of Sprinters came crashing through the bushes. A battle ensued, during which Mog tried to cast one of the spells he'd been learning from the magicite they'd picked up back in Vector, and accidentally cast Imp on Cyan just as he finished charging his Sky attack.
By this point in time Cyan had reached his breaking point. It had been one thing after another ever since he got out of bed. And after everything he'd been through in the past year, he couldn't take it anymore. Something in him snapped, and he charged at the incoming Sprinters, swinging his sword and howling with rage. The others stood back and watched, staring at him in disbelief as he shouted, "For the wife and kid!"
He repeatedly hacked and slashed at their foes until every last one of them was defeated. But it didn't stop there. He continued to stab the dead Sprinter until Edgar and Sabin grabbed him by his arms and drug him away from the mass of bodies.
"Cyan, stop!" Edgar shouted. "Its dead already!"
The brothers carried the screaming, flailing imp back to the airship, where they eventually managed to calm him down and fed him a green cherry to restore him to his normal self.
"I'm sorry," said Cyan. The samurai hung his head in shame. "I don't know what came over me."
Sabin grinned and clapped him the back. "Hey, don't worry about it. With moves like that Kefka won't stand a chance against us."