Mello.
Mello.
Mello.
That has been the only thought going through my head for days, over and over again. Ever since you walked out the door to our apartment twenty-seven days ago, your name has not left my mind; not even once. I tried to forget, and simply erase all of my senseless worries, but it just wasn't that easy.
Mello.
Every time I repeat your name, it sparks another emotion that had previously been concealed in the enigmatic depths of my heart.
Worry; I don't know when you'll come back, or if you'll even come back at all. You've been away far too long for my fragile soul to handle much longer.
Mello.
Frustration; thoughts of you are always clouding my disarrayed mind, impeding on my ability to do anything for myself. I can't eat. I can't sleep. Slowly but surely, I'm dying.
Mello.
Regret; there are still so many things I haven't told you, and if anything ever happened to you, those thoughts alone would haunt me until I drew in my very last breath.
Mello.
Sorrow; it was slowly eating me from the inside out, making sure to remind me of every broken promise and every word left unsaid. It brought to life every moment in my past that held regret, and all the tears I've ever shed.
Mello.
Hatred; I absolutely abhorred myself and my incapability of clearly conveying my emotions to those most important to me, especially when it might be my last chance. I detested this natural defense of mine. The way I would hide my feelings to avoid being perceived as weak, feeble and helpless, even though it would come back and torment me later on no matter what. Despite that, I still kept to myself. I despised myself for that reason.
Mello.
Love; for years, you had been nothing more than a friend to me. Somewhere along the way, I underwent a dramatic change of heart. All of my previous beliefs and every former emotion had vanished, to be interchanged with an entirely new state of mind. It didn't take me long to realize how hard I had fallen for you.
Mello...
The only name able to provoke such feelings within my withered, weakening body.
My dear Mello...
I can't bear to let all of these years go to waste. Every memory before I met you is now just a faded and hazy curtain of gray. My life truly began when I saw your light. My heart began beating once again. You brought the color back into my world. Please, don't take it away from me yet again...
Breaking, I lay down upon your bed. The sheets were still unmade; the same way they had looked on the very morning you departed. Frozen in time, just like my mind.
I still reminisced in the past; in the moments you were still by my side, and in the moments where I was truly happy. I remember your eyes; two glistening sapphire orbs that I would indisputably lose myself in every time I glanced up at that stunning face of yours. I clearly remember your voice, a sound that reminded me of a gentle stream gliding over smooth stones; the voice that could provide me comfort whenever I was in need.
You were my only way of finding solace, and the single reason that I forced myself to wake up each and every morning. If you really are never going to return, what more do I have to live for?
I clutched your pillow against my incredibly frail body, slowly inhaling what still remained of your scent on the soft fabric, and cried.
That was all I could do; too depressed to take care of myself and too weak to move. I just sobbed bitterly, yearning for the sound of your voice and the sight of your face, and somewhere deep within myself, knowing that it was something I'd never see again.
I'm begging you...
Please.
Please come home.
I need you.
One of my first fanfictions I ever wrote with these characters :) I really love these two. So, please review! And if you didn't like it, please tell me why so I can improve :)
~Akina-chan :3