This is a (very long) one-shot that I originally wrote for a contest back in August but I got writers block halfway through and couldn't finish it. Now it's done! :) Seth's POV.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I only embarrass the characters for my amusement
EDIT: I forgot to add the setting, this story takes place AFTER breaking dawn during summer vacation, so Seth isn't in school.
(Monday)
Oh god, what time is it? I sat up and realized I was in an awkward position near the very edge of the bed before my leg slipped and I fell right off. I got up and brushed myself off before going to get some breakfast. I ate a plate of pancakes that I made with some sort of pre-made pancake mix that my mom left me on the table and went outside to see Jacob but he was too busy babysitting Renesmee, she's cute and everything but I just don't get why he's so obsessed with her. Leah was nowhere to be found. I wanted to go watch TV but I think Quil broke it when he fell on it the last time he and Embry got into a fight in my house. I wanted to visit the Cullens again but they were all in couples, which meant a lot of kissing and PDA. Eww.
After a bit of wandering around, I got hungry and started making my way home again for some food but then I remembered that Embry and Quil cleaned the place out the last time they came over after the fighting broke the TV. I frowned and thought about going to the grocery store to get more food. I used to go to Emily's place for food but Sam relaxed now that they were friends with the Cullens so he spends all day with Emily now, which means the entire place just gets awkward if I'm there.
Then I realized I can't drive yet and the rest of the guys were all too busy with their girlfriends. I thought about just changing and running to the store but I was pretty sure a naked kid asking where the chips were would freak them out. Muttering profanities at the world, I tried to do what Jake did and tied my clothes around my leg but it's a LOT harder than it looks. I groaned and gave up, making my way into the forest towards the Cullens' house.
The moment I walked in, I saw that Emmett was wrestling with Jasper again, the scent hit me but I didn't mind it, it smelled like flowery perfume. I said hi then I worked my way around them to go hang out with Edward, he's pretty awesome. Then I noticed that he was making-out with Bella on the couch. Alice saw me first, put down her fashion magazine, and walked over. She told me that she was going to "redecorate" me. I had no idea what she meant so I smiled , thinking she was joking or something. I turned towards the rest of the family for clues as to what was about to happen to me, all I got was sympathetic looks and a couple of chuckles here and there.
The next thing I knew, she was dragging me upstairs, into the washroom, telling me that my outfit reeks and that it doesn't match my eyes so she was giving me a make-over. She ran out for a minute to grab 2 large bags of clothes that she bought earlier for me with a sandwich on a plate. She said to hurry up and eat now because she wanted me hurry up and try on the clothes and didn't feel like waiting for me to clean out their fridge.
I didn't care, I was hungry anyways. I finished the sandwich then she dumped a bucket of cold water over me. I was shocked and I wanted to ask her why she just did that but then she called Jasper in and told him to teach me how to put on the ties and belts and anything else unfamiliar before she ran off to get some more stuff. I asked him why I was soaking wet and he just told me that Alice believes it's faster than making me shower.
(Tuesday)
I woke up and saw my mom carrying a new TV in and throwing the broken one out. I sat up, bumping my head on the wall when I stretched. I didn't care, I just got up, brushed my teeth, and made my way over to the kitchen to see if she went grocery shopping as well. I was about to take a bag of chips back to my room when my mom noticed and told me that I needed a "healthy" breakfast so she made me eat oatmeal. I considered just dumping it into my pants or something to make her think I ate it but that sounded stupid so I spooned the goop into my mouth. After I finished up the slimy creation, I snuck a bag of chips into the living room and ate them while watching TV. I saw a note on the back of the remote, it read:
Hi Seth,
Sorry we couldn't stop Alice yesterday. We got you a new TV to replace the one that Quil broke the other day, and to keep you busy so you won't have to suffer again. We gave Alice some new fashion magazines from France so she should be manageable in case you want to come over again tomorrow.
-Edward
After watching a random cartoon about a talking carrot for a while, an ad for a clothing store came up and I shuddered at the thought of what happened yesterday. She made me try on clothes for 3 hours. The clothes looked okay but then she put make-up on me! After she was done, she piled 4 bags of clothes into my arms and told me to start changing my outfits more often, before sending me home.
Edward noticed my confused expression and helped me carry the bags home while apologizing: explaining that Alice was just bored.
I spent the entire morning watching TV and half of the afternoon too. I ran out of chips eventually so I went to get more food. It was boring but it was better than hanging with one of the guys. All they ever talked about was how beautiful the girl they imprinted on was then they go rushing back to whoever it was.
I went back to the TV with the refill of chips. I must have fell asleep because I jolted up from the couch an hour later. So I got some leftover pizza for dinner then I went to bed.
(Wednesday)
"I'm not doing it man, there is no way I'm touching his ass, you do it."
"But I'll wake him up, you know how clumsy I am, and this prank is much better suited for you."
I heard some shuffling and just as I was about to sit up from my bed, I felt something being poured into my underwear and jumped up only to find that Quil was clinging onto my pants and it gave me a huge wedgie. I immediately looked in my underwear and found that it was filled with oatmeal. Wonderful, just wonderful. I thought, sarcasm dripping off every word. I didn't even bother getting mad, I just shoved Quil and Embry out of the room and tried to clean myself up. Outside, I could hear those two laughing madly with Quil rolling on the floor. I grabbed some clothes and jumped in the shower. When I went to get something to eat, all the food gone already.
At this point, Quil and Embry already ran off, the door still wide open. I groaned and thought about stealing Jake's bike, but Jake is touchy about his vehicles so touching them is usually a horrible idea.
Once again, I was stuck with no food. Giving up altogether, I ran over to Emily's and was happy that she was making muffins. She offered me some so I began eating and talking with her. After I was done, Sam burst through the door and ran right over to Emily to make-out with her. He totally ignored my existence for the most part but I didn't mind, I just ran out the door, closing it quietly behind me.
I walked around La Push for a while but found nothing to do. There were a couple stores that I wanted to check out but then I remembered once I found nothing in my pockets that I lost all my cash in a bet with Jake. I mentally reminded myself to never make a bet about Quil's (lack of) dancing skills again with Jake.
I got tired of staring at my empty pockets so I went home, hoping to just jump into bed after dinner but that plan failed as soon as I jumped into bed and figured out that I forgot to clean up the "surprise" that Quil and Embry had given me that morning. Cursing them to eternal damnation, I dragged my feet to the kitchen and got a wet sponge to clean off the disgusting goop.
(Thursday)
I got up from my bed and walked into my living room only to find Jake laying across the couch watching TV.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm doing a fucking tap dance on your table in a dress" He answered sarcastically, a smirk on his face, "Bella demanded I stop hogging her baby so I came back to watch TV."
"Don't you have TV at your house?"
"Nope," He said, popping his lips on the P, "Not anymore, Cable's out and I think Jared broke the remote when he sat on it last time."
"Oh." I finished then I went into the kitchen for some food. When I found out that the fridge was empty again I just gave up and changed to go hunting in the forest.
I ran around for a while and found a deer, it didn't taste too pleasent but I wasn't hungry anymore at least.
I ran back home and put on some clothes then I went to walk around the forest a little. After walking for an hour ago I saw the Cullen's white house in front of me.
I figured it was safe to go inside considering that Alice probably already found something to do other than torture me.
I walked in cautiously and immediately smelled something disgustingly sweet, it turned out that Alice was spraying perfume on me, trying to block out the wolf smell. After I smelled like I just swam in a pool of flowery perfume, I walked towards the living room to find someone to talk to. Bella was nowhere to be seen so I assumed she was off with Renesmee. I walked over to the TV and watched sports with Emmett but it got a little weird when he started getting up to do a victory dance in front of me.
So I walked over to Jasper, hoping that he would talk to me.
"Hi Seth, how are you?"
"I'm fine, do you know where Edward is?"
"He's with Bella and Renesmee, I think they're trying to teach her how to hunt small animals."
"Oh."
I sat down next to him on the couch and watched him read awhile then I stood up and challenged Emmett and Jasper to a wrestling match.
I found out the hard way that it was a bad idea.
(Friday)
My entire body was still a little sore from wrestling with Emmett and Jasper. We broke the couch and a table and ultimately, I think one of my ribs. Esmee was screaming at us to fix or replace all the furniture, my ears were still ringing a little. For someone so nice, she has a really loud voice.
My room was pretty plain, there were a couple band posters here and there but nothing too much. So staring at the walls all day was not an option. I still groaned when I rolled over but it was getting better. Carlisle told me that my rib would heal in a day or two and the soreness should go away soon.
My clock was annoying me, the continuous ticking was getting to me. At some point I imagined it was a ticking time bomb and I was James Bond but then I began to feel like a dork. My mom brought me food at regular intervals, mostly just sandwiches and leftover pizza and refused to bring me any other form of entertainment than books.
I tried reading the books on my summer reading list, tried to get a head start on it instead of begging Edward to help me last minute. But I didn't get a single sentence of any of it.
A frown stretched on my face when I realized that I needed a life. Badly.
(Saturday)
When I was jolted from my sleep again, I wasn't sore anymore. Jake stood next to the bed, looking at me and asking me to help him. I asked him what but all he told me was to get my ass out of bed so I obliged.
It turned out that he just needed help convincing Edward and Bella to hand Renesmee over. I laughed at him, earning myself a punch in my arm. I sighed and followed him to their house.
To summarize, it didn't work. Renesmee is still in Bella's arms and Jake is now banned from their house for a week with Edward smirking at him through the window whenever he tries to look at her because now Esmee believes that Jake is "stalking" her granddaughter. I kept quiet, not needing any more damage to my arm, and watched Jake camp outside their house all night. At some point it just became awkward so I picked myself up and went back home.
(Sunday)
The church is fucking boring. Sometime around 7am my mom dragged me out of bed, literally, and made me put on a suit so I could come here and watch this guy read from a book. In all honestly, it felt like the equivilant of face-rape.
The entire place was painfully bright for that hour, with a bunch of people seated in rows trying not to fall asleep. I had the Super Mario theme song stuck in my head so I began humming it in my head, not noticing that I was actually humming out loud until my mom poked my arm a little.
Eventually church was over and I ran outside, breathing in the fresh air.
I took my time walking home, there was nothing to do there anyways. Quin got a new TV that him and Embry were currently fighting over and Jake was still stalking Renesmee. Leah had a car so she drove off to find her friends. leaving me at home with my mom.
Overall, it wasn't that bad. My mom made lasagna and Jake came over at around 5 because Edward threatened to put a restraining order on him. The TV stopped showing cartoons about talking carrots and it was playing a sports game.
I got tired soon so made my way into my room and to my surprise, Embry was there, telling me that he locked himself out of his house so he was just borrowing my bed. I shoved him out of my room and told him to go have adventures with a talking carrot before shutting my door on a confused looking Embry. I jumped into my bed and soon fell asleep.
This is my longest one-shot to date but it's totally worth it because I really like how it turned out. My sense of humor in this is a bit dry and I might have made a couple of the characters sound a bit out of character but I tried writing this without the book as a reference. So I hope you liked it! Please REVIEW and tell me what you think, even if you hated it :)
Thanks For Reading!
-Sammy6618